We've Moved!

Please update your link to: http://www.gofugyourself.com, which will take you to the site's new location.

Many thanks!

We've Moved!

Please update your link to: http://www.gofugyourself.com, which will take you to the site's new location.

Many thanks!

2005 Golden Globes: Lisa Marie Presley

Proving once and for all that a predisposition toward capes is genetic:

My Fug Don't Cost a Thing

In a desperate attempt to outrun the paparazzi, Jennifer Lopez cut through neighbor Rue McClanahan's back yard, becoming inextricably entangled in the older woman's guest room curtains, which had been hung on her clothesline to dry:



Late for a premiere, Ms Lopez allegedly said, "eh, screw it," and just cinched it.

Fuggis Hilton

We knew it would be only a matter of time before Paris Hilton fugged herself up again:


[Photo courtesy of Lime-light.org.]

Love the shoes, but what is the appeal of the split knickers? It looks like she had an accident with some barbed wire. Maybe her vagina gets upset if it doesn't have some ventilation, or at least a nearby window.

Although I much prefer the image of Paris, having locked herself out of her home, hurling her body over a barbed-wire fence and getting her knickers caught, dangling there for twenty minutes screaming at her bodyguard to stop laughing and help her, dammit, instead of running off to 7-11 to buy a disposable camera.

Papa, Don't Fug

Oh, Kelly.



This is such a cry for help. Come here, baby. Come here. No, no, don't cry. I'm here for you. Talk to me, sweetie. What's wrong? Why are you acting like this? Why are you wearing a bowler hat that makes your head look like a pale little pumpkin in a bad wig? Why would you do that? No, no! Don't talk that way. Lots of people love you. Like who? Well, like your parents. Of course they do, Kelly! Kelly...Kelly...I can't talk to you when you're like this. Do you want help, or not? KELLY? Fine, that's just fine. If you want to act like a child, that's fine. If you want to run around dressed like a cut-rate Ally Sheedy impersonator -- OF COURSE THERE ARE ALLY SHEEDY IMPERSONATORS. They have impersonators for everything. Shut up, that's not the point. As I was SAYING, if you really wake up in the morning and decide that the only thing that will make you happy will be dressing like Demi Moore on a carb bender, that's your business. But when you decide it's time to act like an adult and get some help for your problems, you know where to find me.

Tell Jack that goes double for him.

Fuglie Minogue

News outlets are buzzing about Kylie Minogue's newer, stranger mouth, suggesting that perhaps she had a lip procedure done before attending this fashion event in Paris:


[Photo courtesy of Lime-light.org.]

You know that trick where you put wrap your tongue over your upper lip, which forces the lower one to go all puffy and huge, and you pretend that comically enlarged kisser is your real mouth? I mean, not that I would know anything about such grade-school chicanery, nor did I just sit at my desk and do it just to compare, but... that's totally what she looks like.

Her reps, of course, are refusing to comment, perhaps because their client suddenly looks so shockingly like The Joker -- check out the creepy upturn of her mouth -- that there's no way to deny her fugly lip enhancement. And Kylie herself will be unable to offer any insight, as her lips are so weighed down that her facial muscles can't lift them to form words.

And let's not even talk about how creepy her right eye looks behind those shades. Is she tired? Stoned? A victim of an equally bad eye job? Who can say. All I know is, she looks like her own waxwork doppelganger.

Which is so sad, because she was so cute on Neighbours, when her trailer burned down and all her worldly goods were reduced to ashes, and yet somehow her closets survived because she kept wearing all the crazy-loud clothes she wore before the blaze. Those were the days.

Random Fug

[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]

This young soap star is the anti-Dunst: She's begging people to notice that she's wearing a bra.

Does no one know how to own and operate a brassiere?

Can I Check Your Fug?

Tired of the endless glam grind, Maggie Gyllenhaal retires from acting and opens her own filling station:

Big Thanks, and An Archives Update

Thank you to all the people who've e-mailed us about access to our archives. Temporarily, they are still offline, but we're actively working to get them up and running again -- and we are optimistic that partial archives will be available very soon.

So please, stick with us, because that old content is on its way back.

Moving onto something new, we'd like to offer huge, blushing thanks to the voters for the 2005 Bloggies, who collectively named Go Fug Yourself a finalist in three categories: Best American Weblog, Best Group Weblog, and Most Humorous Weblog.

We are flattered beyond belief, and consider ourselves blessed for the support. If we win, we will light a candle to Courtney Peldon. If we lose... well, we'll still probably light a candle to Courtney Peldon, because let's face it, her poor taste in clothes has been an inspiration.

Project Fugway

Dear God. Leonor Varela's "dress" looks stolen from a Project Runway challenge, in which the contestants had to make a frock using nothing but heavy-duty Glad trash bags.

2005 Fugdance Film Festival: Keira Knightley

Keira looks like she's shooting the touching final scene of Just One of the Guys II: Still Pretending To Have A Penis, wherein her character's deception has been revealed, and she's dressing like a proud 1980s female again even though she's completely ruined her hair.

Random Fug

[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]

I don't know who this so-called "Erica Durance" is, but I do know that she forgot to take off her bib before heading into the party. How embarrassing.

SwimFug

Erika Christensen has clearly had a break with reality:


Photo thanks to a reader.

In her mind, it's 1920. She's heading to a big 19th Amendment bash and she's casting her vote for Fugly P. Fugly of the Fugly party. You can tell she's a Fuglyist by the headband.

Also, the lace vest.

And the shoes.

And the way the hem of her skirt makes her look like she's squatting, when she's really standing up straight.

And the choker.

And the headband. Did I mention the headband? Because there is a headband.

I certainly hope the appeal of Prohibition comes quickly in Erika's reality, because it seems that she's been hitting the moonshine. And you know that stuff will make you go blind.

Nice Day For A Fug Wedding

Congratulations to Melania Knauss, now Trump, who by all reports made it down the aisle in the above dress without anyone trying to suspend her from a curtain rod, and without her needing to be towed from place to place. Happily for her, Trump was allegedly still able to navigate around the pounds of fabric and ruffle, and through the swath of mosquito netting around her face, so that he could smooch her three times at the altar.

And so, in honor of overwrought celebrity wedding fugliness, we bring you a flashback photo to one of my personal favorite -- by which I mean, least favorite -- wedding dresses in history: The bejewelled meringue sported by Celine Dion the first time she swapped vows with her old, portly manager whom she met when she was twelve.



That's not a veil; that's a headdress.

Fugeron Diaz

Star Magazine is reporting something about Cameron Diaz that I deeply, dearly hope will actually come to pass:

Cameron Diaz won't be wearing a traditional white dress for her wedding to Justin Timberlake. She wants to be married in a traditional Native American dress and has hired a designer to assemble an outfit with beading and moccasins.

Now, before hoardes of teenagers -- and a few adults who need to go outside more often -- hurl themselves onto the sharp spikes of their aborted, doomed love for the Timberlake, please be advised that we have no idea if this rumored wedding is true. But we do know this: Those will be some seriously hilarious pictures.

I have no problem with Native American dress; I just think Cameron Diaz will look ridiculous. And I'm salivating a little.

La Fug Nikita

[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]

Poor Peta Wilson. Her pants have gobbled up her left foot, her right foot is teetering on the edge of the same grisly fate, and she's simultaneously getting mauled by a strange woodland creature. So sad.

You know, if that thing is made of real fur, then there's suddenly a delicious irony to Peta Wilson's first name.

Mischa Fugton

Somehow, in a way I can't articulate, Mischa Barton looks like something you might find in a Bed, Bath and Beyond:



Now, I like the color. I think I also like the shoes. But the dress has an unfortunate "tulle lampshade" look to it, which might not matter, if the dress didn't also add her to the list of people who put on strapless things that make their breasts look like they're sinking like stones. Not to mention that it exposes those kicky tan lines stamped on her torso.

Fuggin Up

Behold Daniella Monet, of the Jason "Costanza" Alexander tragedy Listen Up, at the CBS/UPN TCA party:



Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.

The purple boots? The striped legwarmers, carefully chosen to coordinate exactly with the sweater/shirt debacle? The flowered belt?

She would have been better off with the Urban Sombrero.

The Fug Lady

I question the choice of whomever dressed Laura Bush for an inaugural gala:



Any inaugural occasion would seem to demand something more formal than what is basically an extremely oversized shirt. The horrendous backdrop coupled with her Little Ma On The Prairie getup gives the impression that the President randomly showed up at a production of Little Mary Sunshine, and wandered on-stage during the curtain call to congratulate the cast.

For Immediate Release: DON'T BE SO STABBY

We here at Go Fug Yourself would like to make it clear that we are not in any way responsible for the recent and unfortunate stabbing of Courtney Peldon. As for the rumors that the stabbing was orchestrated by a crazed Go Fug Yourself follower, we know of no such person, and we're also pretty sure that we just told her prop guy to sneak into her house and replace all her bustiers with turtlenecks. At no time, did we use the words, "knife," "stab," or "make it look like an accident, dude."

We could not condemn this sort of senseless act of violence in the name of fashion more strongly. Stabbing is rarely the answer.

We wish Ms Peldon a speedy recovery and look forward to seeing her next sartorial disaster on the red carpet. Get well, Courtney!

Fug Is The Word

[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]

Olivia Newton-John played it perfectly: Having left the house in a mismatched beaded sweater and olive skirt, she positioned herself next to a girl shrounded in something of such immense tie-dyed fugocity that it would dwarf whatever piddling fug Olivia herself had going.

The girl, singer and former Neighbours actress Holly Valance, appears to be dressed as a grass stain. She's the "before" picture in a Tide commercial. Indeed, in my head, this cozy scene played out with Olivia Newton-John whipping out a large bottle of detergen, dumping on Holly's head, and smiling maniacally as she proceeded to stuff Ms. Valance into a washer-dryer.

Ali Fugly

Li'l Kim would take one look at this ensemble and snort, "What a prude."

Walkin' On Fugshine

She tried hard to look the part, but producers wanted someone less publicly accomplished in fellatio to play Daisy Duke. Depressed, Chloe went on a bender, finally waking up on the beach one morning next to a nude, malodorous homeless man and thinking, "Well, I always swore that the next time I saw Vincent Gallo naked, I would know it was time to go back home." And off she went.

Goodbye, Fug: PARIS HILTON?

Look, no one is more surprised than I am:



Someone's been taking lessons from Nicole "Girl, I Left The Fug Last Year And Haven't Ever Looked Back" Ritchie. Paris looks so...sweet. Wholesome. Cute. Well-coiffed. Nicely shod. I can't even see her vagina.

If this keeps up, I'm going to be out of a job.

Fug Mountain

Until finding this photo, I didn't realize that all this time, Nicole Kidman has secretly wanted to kill us all and drink our sweet, sweet blood:


[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]

The eye makeup... the psychotic look in her eyes... the hint of a smile... Dating Steve Bing must've given her The Evil. She's coming for you, mark my words. Buy garlic.

2005 Golden Globes: Mary Louise Parker

This year, Mary-Louise didn't have the benefit of being fresh off the birthing table before accepting her award. To compensate, she chose a dress that would shimmer right over her womb and bunch at its emergency-exit hatch, reminding everyone about her incredible courage in the face of the three C's: childbirth, Crudup, and Claire. "Yes, Virginia," she would say, admiring herself in the mirror, "I do have a working vagina."

Does anyone else think that Adam Duritz looks like a Rastafarian Dan Ackroyd?