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1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before? Completed not one but TWO thrilling Intarweb MEME quizzes to the roaring delight of the literate world. 2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? No. Yes. 3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes. Yes they did. I feel old. 4. Did anyone close to you die? I don't think so. Everybody be careful for the next few weeks, unkay? 5. What countries did you visit? FLAVOR COUNTRY 6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004? BAGS OF RICHES 7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 12-9-2004 : the day I found this life-completing BLOG QUIZ. And by "found" I mean "stole from Adam" 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting on the cover of Newtype USA in my SEXY cosplay as Mai Shiranui from FATAL FURY. Do you feel the storm? Oh, yeah. Also, I have discovered at least three quarters of the ingredients in EMERIL'S SECRET ESSENCE. 9. What was your biggest failure? I didn't get to go to Otakon. That sucked. Oh, yeah, and I still live in this pit of an apartment. Oh, yeah, and I still can't kill people by thinking about it? Yet. 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? PLAGUE 11. What was the best thing you bought? Rome : Total War for the PC. Or maybe that little chiffon number? 12. Whose behavior merited celebration? I've been pretty impressed with Hamid Karzai this year. I'm wicked into that hat he always wears. 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? W 14. Where did most of your money go? "Most" implies "some", which feels pretty inaccurate. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Sushi. Return of the King. Video Games. JAPANANIMAY, and, of course, pundidtry. 16. What song will always remind you of 2004?! "America! Fuck Yeah!" 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? I'm happy most of the time. ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter, damn your eyes! I'm all over that. iii. richer or poorer? Richer, I suppose. Just like Baghdad is "safer" than Fallujah... 18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Interpretive dance. 19. What do you wish you'd done less of? war crimes 20. How will you be spending Christmas? Peeing on a thai hooker while pounding egg-nog out of a lovely, fancy hat 22. Did you fall in love in 2004? I don't know if the quiz wants to know if *AM* in love or fell *in love* with a new person this year. It's not a very precise question. 23. How many one-night stands? Cardinal Richelieu 24. What was your favorite TV program? Oh, you mean besides Queer Eye? I guess Full Metal Alchemist was what I consistently enjoyed most this year. 25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Yes. I am a seething mass of hate. Screw "this year"; I find new things to hate every DAY. Each morning it is like setting off on an exciting journey of SPITEFUL DISCOVERY. 26. What was the best book you read? All year? Oooh, Christ. Every time I read "A Confederacy of Dunces" it becomes the best book of the year again. I think none of the authors I am constantly waiting on released anything this year. Authors are lazy. I'm looking at you, George R. R. Martin and J.K. Rowling! Lazy overpaid fucks! What do you do, write a page every second Tuesday or something? Oh, yeah. "Count With Dora The Explorer" by Phoebe Beinstein was a real tour de force, though. Rich with metaphor and existential musings, I read it in less than a day! Plus, since its pages are made of cardboard, it doesn't get all crinkled when I whip it at Stacey's head when she doesn't prepare my dinner the way I like. 27. What was your greatest musical discovery? I discovered I am a latent virtuoso on the hurdy-gurdy. 28. What did you want and get? Yes. 30. What was your favorite film of this year? Return of the King, I suppose. Although Team America: World Police was *really* good. 31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I don't remember and I'm 24 now. Or, as I like to say "way too fucking old for anything fun" 32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Doubloons. Sacks and sacks of doubloons. 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? Stacey would describe it as "drab and dumpy and stuck in 1995", and she knows way more about fashion than me because she watches TLC every day, so I'll go with that. What can I say? Until big, sinister villain capes with menacing shoulder pads come back in, I'm at a loss. 34. What kept you sane? I was supposed to have been kept sane by something? Please direct me to the complaints department! 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? "Fancy"? I guess this quiz was made by a British person or something. British people talk like fags. 36. What political issue stirred you the most? The election. Sadly. 37. Who did you miss? A lot of people. I didn't see enough of my friends this year. Some of them are reading this. Sorry! I'll be better in 2005! I promise! No more being a hermit! 38. Who was the best new person you met? "New Person"? You mean like a baby? Do you think I have occasion to meet a lot of infants? Are you calling me a paedophile? You fucking Internet Quiz, I ought to punch you right in the head! 39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004: " See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck. And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!" Profound, man. Oh yeah, and also "Money isn't everything, but it's the closest thing to it." ^_^
Current Mood:  giggly
Current Music: The History Channel
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So I guess my AIM name is changing. ^_^ I tried to use it today, but since my aol account has lapsed, I am no longer cool enough to use "theineffableS". So gay. I am currently using "LordShamus", taken out of retirement. Not that I am on AIM enough for anybody to notice. ^_^ However, my loves, the freaking buddy list is FIVE YEARS OLD. Do me a super favour, would you? Unblock "LordShamus", list me, and reply to this post with your AIM name, because I have forgotten it. Yes, all of you. I forgot every AIM name I have ever heard. Assume I lost you. My old list is gone, and I needs to get the new one up and running, you dig? So yeah. Reply to this.
Current Mood:  annoyed
Current Music: BLARGH
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Sometimes being a special internet superhero pundit is difficult. In order to keep up with the fast paced and ludicrous (or "Ludacris", if you will, dog) world that we live in, I often have to simplify the massive amounts of media I need to sift through by putting them through a "generalization filter." This is my hypocritical rationalization for sometimes being just as ignorant and judgmental as everyone else once in a while. In particular, I have always simplified my life by making the groundless assumption that FOX News is a joke channel run by Nazis and Zealots who do nothing but spew jingoistic vitriol while eagerly awaiting the chance to update what terror-color alert level we are currently experiencing. This was short-sighted and wrong of me. Having never taken the time to actually sit and watch FOX News, it was wrong of me to just accept the commonly held belief that it's biased strongly to the right. I'm sorry for being so thoughtless. Today I have been watching FOX News. Okay. FOX News is a joke channel run by ILLITERATE Nazis and RETARDED Zealots who do nothing but spew jingoistic vitriol while CONSTANTLY pandering to the lowest common denominator, i.e. tinfoil hat yahoos and evangelicals. In just the last half hour I have learned many things. Here I will list them for your edu-tainment. 1) Anybody who is currently fighting the United States in any capacity at all is a TERRORIST. The US is about to stage attacks on "Terror Fighting Postions" held by "Terrorists" in the "Terrorist Capital" of Fallujah. These "Terrorists" include "Saddam Supporters" who are "Fundamentalist Islamic Terrorists", which I thought was impossible because the Ba'ath party was a secular conservative dictatorship. But I must be wrong because they have a very fancy rotating graphic, and a news-crawl at the bottom of the page that says TERROR! every six words. As for me, I had assumed that an insurgent sniper fighting against the regular US Army as they charge his position during a pitched battle was an "enemy combatant" or even a "bad guy", but FOX News has corrected me; he is, of course, a TERRORIST. You know, like Michael Moore. 2) ALL headlines must be alliterations. After Arafat! Fight For Fallujah! Michael Moore Menace? ! And so forth. If it isn't alliterative, it isn't good enough for the Nascar-loving Nabobs at FOX News. 3) EVERYTHING is an ALERT. I was watching for all of a minute and a half, when suddenly, this piercing shrieking wail raped my ears and another rotating graphic swept across the screen. This one said "FOX ACTION ALERT!!!" and was read aloud for the benefit of our blind citizen-patriots by a man with a booming voice. "ATTENTION! THIS IS A FOX NEWS ACTION ALERT!" he offered helpfully. What was this, I thought? Are we under attack? No, they just wanted us to know that the Ansari X-Prize has been given out. How this is an "action alert" I do not know. Perhaps an "academia alert" but hardly an "action alert". Which brings me to... 4) FOX News anchors are contractually obligated to know absolutely nothing about things like the Ansari X-Prize. As the two inept Action Anchors clumsily read a brief account of the awarding of said X-Prize, it was PAINFULLY evident that neither of them had heard of it before now. Perhaps if the winner called itself "The Freedom Flyer" or the "Terror-Ranosaurus REX-Inator" instead of "Space Ship One" FOX News would have deigned to cover it more closely. 5) 10,000 US Troops attacking an enemy stronghold of 6000 enemy troops(Terrorists) behind a hardened row of trenches designed to cover the flanks is a "mop-up operation" because, as we all know, the "war" portion of the show was over last year when we declared victory. 6) Star Wars Episode Three is called "The Revenge of the Sixth". Nice job, fuckwits. Anyway, I just thought you'd all like to know what I have learned today while watching FOX News. You should check it out some time. Fair and Balanced? Certainly not. Entertaining? Fuck yeah.
Current Mood:  amused
Current Music: FOX news
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Hello, readers. I trust some of you still read this, yes? I have another sign of the impending End Times to share with you. You may remember the last time TV made me embarrassed to be a human being. It was when the WWF made a wrestler whose theme was, unlike the Sheiks and Ninjas of my youth, that he was retarded. Remember that? Well, this is worse, or at least goofier. If you guys get the Food Network, watch the Emeril Halloween Special tonight at midnight. It played at 8, when I caught it, and it's so horrid as to make me actually uncomfortable watching it. Emeril keeps dressing up like scary things, like a vampire and an Englishman in a pith helmet (?) to make "spooky" food. "How lame could it possibly be?" I am glad you asked. Here is a quote from the show. "If I was a mummy, I would want to be wrapped in ham." Please watch it if you can, and confirm that I am not losing my mind.
Current Mood:  confused
Current Music: FOOD NETWORK! BWAAHAHAHA!!! SCARY!!!
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Hello all. Stacey was looking at the IMDB last night, reading up on Sky Captain, when she came upon this discussion( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0346156/board/nest/11534335) about whether or not it's a "rip-off" of Miyazaki. Both sides of the argument are so terrible that I decided to break my long-standing (at least a month ;P) tradition of not being a juvenile troll-beast and really lay into all of them. I didn't realize how unkind I was being until about halfway through, but it's all good fun. The *key* part here is that the one person who actually got offended (and I wasn't trying to offend, really, just be a jerk) was upset because I used the term "retarded". Well, you all know how much i hate it when people ascribe magical, forbidden powers to words, so I went all house. ^_^ I just wanted you all to enjoy it before IMDB eventually finds it, deletes it, and bans me forever. XD Somebody should archive it. p.s. - I should probably have used "retardo", like Space Ghost, instead.
Current Mood:  chipper
Current Music: radio at work
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While I was removing some RETARDS who took me off their friends list, I was actually struck by the dichotomy of awesome/terrible that Live Journal has wrought upon the world. The "blog" phenomenon that started about five or six years ago has really warped peoples' perceptions of what is and isn't interesting enough to share with the world at large, leading to more posts about "what I watched on TV today" than are probably needed, but it's also created a pervasive self-contained set of communities in a way that we never would have even speculated about before it happened. It's weird. But I think my favorite innovation made by the rise of the blog is the phenomenon of "friends-list insults" which elicit real feelings of outrage, such as the one I was experiencing when I came to this realization. And that's the lamest thing in the whole world. I hung my head in deep shame. But I realized that anybody who wanted to remove Our Royal Person from their friends list is a DOUBLE DIRTY DOODIE HEAD. Then I felt better. Now I will tell you a story. In Worcester, the worst city in Massachusetts (well, besides Lawrence and Springfield), there is a very sacred summer tradition that we have just celebrated this past holiday weekend, and by "we", of course, I mean "not me". It is called the "Burn-Outs." Or the "Flame-Outs" or the "Burn-Ups" I don't really remember. I just call it "The Flamers", anyway. In any case, it's when all the fans of fire and cars across Central Massachusetts converge on the pit that is Worcester to drag-race and make noise with their pimped out cars and so-forth. It shuts down main street (which I live near) for THREE DAYS with police cordons, and during this time, all you see for three blocks in any direction are olde-tyme cars painted up all shiny and stupid. I want to kill them all. For one thing, the universal goal of these go-tards seems to be to make 1) the engine as huge as possible and 2) the car as loud as possible. To this end, I have noticed that the most popular thing to do to these cars is cut holes in the hood to allow part of the mammoth engines to poke up, and remove the muffler, to be replaced with four very shiny chrome exhaust pipe thingies. I suspect they also shoot small-caliber arms through the catalytic converter. The upshot here is that ALL of these cars sound like a-10 Thunderbolt fighter jets. Everybody there is one of the following: 1) White guy with mullet driving a camero with some kind of monstrous mutant engine protruding through the hood and completely obscuring the windshield. 2) Puerto Rican guy with car roughly one millimeter off the road, with six Puerto Rican flags sticking out of it. 3) Black guy with MAGICAL SPRING THINGIES that make the car jump several feet into the air. Also speakers in trunk the size of Lucciano Pavarotti. 4) Asian (AZN) guy with Honda accord, which he has attached like, six spoilers to. And purple neon lights. And maybe a sticker that says HONDA. I hate the freaking car convention thing. I drive through, in my broken ass little tracker, trying to get home, and it adds like a half hour to the trip. A loud half hour. It makes me cross. You know, a lot of the time I think about how cool it would be to mount a howitzer on my car somehow. Or Vulcan Cannons. Or, like, a beam saber.
Current Mood:  nauseated
Current Music: Jim Bachus was on the Brady Bunch?
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WARNING!~ Please only read today's entry if you don't mind absolutly horrifying and repellant things. It would be behind a cut, but I'm lazy. Hi my special pretties! I have decided to have a game with you. Fanwanking butterbabies produce reams of dreadful literary offal every day, in the form of HORRIBLE ADULT FANFICTION. For your pleasure, I will reproduce one AMAZING line from several of the most heinous ones I can find. See if you can guess what each one is from. ^_^ Such ribald gaiety. Say them aloud for extra enjoyment. For the record, these appear *exactly* as the authors intended, with no changes made to spare you all the crimes against grammar and nature. ^_^ God, some of these are BRILLIANT... I think some of you may want to adopt some of these as personal mottos. 1) Starfire said "go ahead Robin I give you permission to lick my vagina." 2) Starfire moaned as Robin hammered her like a jack hammer. 3) (this was what that "author" closed the story containing the above lines with) "Phew....as the one great man Porky Pig said "[stutter] that's all folks" and if you don't like it then kiss my ass. Well anyway hope you liked the story, as always I try my hardest to write the very best for my adoring fans. Review and look for more stories, this is HyperSonicAdam2 saying....before to wipe the jizz on your keyboard clean off. See ya! " 4) "Suddenly amidst the humping, Fred's cock slipped inside Barney and they both let out a grunt, moments after, Fred resumed but was now pumping inside Barney's hole instead of just humping him." 5) "Frylock had three of his fries reaching out to Meatwad, caressing his sides, and pulling him into a tight embrace. Out of them, Meatwad felt one of the fries was much harder than the rest." 6) "In such a nonchalant way, almost seeming drugged, Ariel moaned softly as she slipped into a half conscious state. She was trusting Sebastian and Flounder utterly and they were about to ?betray? that trust." 7) "Kenshin watched as Aoshi came without making a sound, the only sign of his release a slight twitching in the muscles of his jaw. I shouldn't be surprised that the ninja would have the ability to keep silent, no matter what." 8) ""Al! God... I?m gonna... Ohhhhh God! Ohhhh God, Al! fuck, I?m going!.A!A!A!!!!!" He moaned and I felt a warm liquid on my stomach, I breathed faster, moving faster, leaning my head back, my eyes were rolling into the back of my head. I moaned his name, "Niisan!Niisan!Niisaaan!."" (I put this one in for you, sarah ^_^) 9) ""Elliott eh? Well Elliott I'm Misato Catsuragi and I care for three children, I'm not they're mother, I'm just they're carer, would you like to meet them?" Elliotts view returned to the two huge bumps in Misato's yellow shirt "yeah ok"." 10) '(here's an example of a summary posted to get you to read a story) "Harry did it again. This time he's in muggle America, sporting makeup, bondage skirts, & fishnets all while raping a few random muggles and making friends with gothic untaimed beauties. M/F,M/M,B-M(od),Bi,BP,CD," 11) "Oh, YEAH, Gary. You were great," Spongebob replied dreamily as the snail slid back down his leg. "You're the best pet in all of Bikini Bottom." 12) (here, in it's entirety, is the best WWF wrestling fanfiction I have EVER seen) "Now:its wrestlemaniaXX and the buried alive match is just about to start. First one in the ring is kane the undertakers music kicks up but no undertaker? undertaker pops up in the middle of the ring and kane turns around like he has seen a ghost. taker is back to his way wearing all black black long hair looking as evil as ever. kane was about to hug him but taker gives him a big boot to the face. kane was pissed so he boots taker. since they know echothers moves it was getting boring match. But undertaker rolls out of the ring and grabs a shovel.he brakes it so its just a wood pole. whats he going to do? he takes it and shoves it right up kanes asshe shoves it in there till it comes out his mouth. he took his shichcabob brother and dropped him in th pit and kane pops up so taker takes a rowbar and splits kane in two then buries him.after that he took a rope and hung himself two legends died that night but one still walks" 13) (There was a really astonishing piece of utterly horrifying erotic Full House fiction, where Uncle Joey rapes the Tanner children, which is followed by this sobering "epilogue", which I think speaks for itself, and has a lesson for all of us) "EPILOGUE: You may be surprised at the man Joey had become, but he took the cartoons and love of children's things too far, to the point that he was obsessed with all children! -the end-" I thinks that's all I can muster today. Do you see the HORROR I subject myself to, all in the name of EDUTAINMENT!?!?!? Verily, the love of shamus must be great indeed. I hope you have trouble sleeping now. ^_^
Current Mood:  pleased
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So tonight we started a few new shows. The first one was tenjo tenge. It was pretty aggressively stupid. You know how much I like boobs, but...you know...meh. I can't take the bubble-breasted shapechanging harlot routine again. Most of the show was stupid-bad, but at least the ridiculous J-Rap opening was stupid-funny. But seriously. Nightmare boobs. Then we watched another show. This one, kyou kara maou, was fucking awesome. I think it's going to be amazing, in a Disgaeia sort of way, where you get to root for the bad guys. And the main character is such a likable lad. However, I am overcome by an *ominous foreboding* about the show. It was SO awesome that something is going to HAVE to go wrong, and I think I smell what it's going to be. Let's just say that I think there is a distinct possibility that things could take a decidedly yaoi turn pretty quick. I mean, as the show went on, I couldn't help but notice that every new character was a prancing fag who blushed whenever they looked at the main character, Yuuri. I'm starting to worry about his ass-virtue, surrounded by such man-hussies. I relate to this kid, and I especially don't want to see him take a roll in the hay with the golden-haired prancey-prince who showed up at the end of the episode. I mean, I have a VERY high tolerance for shounen-ai for a straight guy. Fruity things don't bother me; hell, I loved Princess TuTu, and that was a WHOLE SHOW ABOUT BALLERINAS. But if this gorgeous, engaging show turns into an ass-love bonanza, I think I may have slightly more trouble relating to poor Yuuri. Sure, make *everyone* gay, I don't care; just leave Yuuri alone, and get him a princess or something. Please? DISCLAIMER: I hope I don't even need to say this, but I am fairly politically incorrect for a liberal, so here we go! I will obviously still like the show if everybody ends up gay because I love gay-ness and yadda yadda. And if you didn't know that, you're obviously a fag. And a retard.
Current Mood:  worried
Current Music: Good Eats
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Did yoy ever nobtice bow when people are drunk and they have acceess to a compyter they're always like "d00d, check out how wated I am!!!!!!!" I swear it uis like thewy have do gho tell everybody they now about how they drink a lot of booze and then go on the 'web "or "net as the kids say" and be all up in your stuiff. How about that shit with Izumi? She's all like riuunning and stuff and they all likle, "THE FUHERRER IS A DICK!!!" and she' puke up blode and sticff.
Here is my INWTARWEBB POLE for you to VOTE on (in) to say in the comment. : QUESNBTION!!! What kind of whisky do you think is best. Today, I vote Jammisonsns but usually I would say Tullemore Dewq.
I onther news, today wasd very stressedfrul to me because I ran out of gass and then also the rent, and also work was like "I hat eyou, fag.
" and it turns out when I went to anime boston fagmeeting last week, i got a hundrend doller tiucket in the mail, as I reafr. not fifty, but a HUNDRED, with no appealing it, and also my moneys are so few. None money. And also thing after thing after thing. Did you ever notice how nice it is to get obliterated and watch anime when thin gs aren't going your way,. Don't worry, loyal readars, i feel like the chumbawumba song like, you know.
: dsabjhwer
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So I just got back from Anime Boston 2005's first staff meeting. The meeting went long because the race for Chairman was extremely tight and took lots of deliberating on the part of the executive staff. Next year I will help do my part to eliminate red tape by running for Chair myself, on the "booze and capes" platform. Congrats to Pat on his new job and I look forward to another spankin' year of AnimeBoston! On that note, James and Our Own Royal Person have decided to structure next year's security as a DIARCHY, which makes us DIARCHS. It's very sexy. After the meeting, Moira and I went out to the Cheesecake Factory with Andrea and James and Mara and Christian. It was a GIANT ORGY of fun and excitement, with excellent food and some really fucking brilliant dinner conversation. You folks RoXXoRz in my BoXXoRz. Sadly, though, things went downhill after we all parted ways. My validated parking was REBUKED by the foul attendant at the Prudential Center, who said it was worthless, and proceeded to charge me dollars 28. I explained to him that my Currency Replacement Chip only had dollars 25, but he was unmoved, and I was forced, after about ten minutes of arguing in pidgin dialect, to give him all of my toll change as well, which forced me to drive through the fast-lane thing again. This will doubtless result on a HUGE ticket which I have no money to pay. Such is how fate buggers me insensate. Nothing else to report today. Actually, I rarely use this thing for reporting my day-to-day adventures, but today is an experiment. Does anybody care about what I do on weekends, or should I go back to only writing pedantic rants about the ills of pop culture? ^_^ Vote now. Don't worry; either way I'll still do pedantic rants.
Current Mood:  exhausted
Current Music: Some movie about people humping or something
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If you haven't read my last entry, please do. As promised, I am watching for the signs that the end times are finally upon us, and I think I may have found another one. Apparently, the American Idol craze has captured the attention of assorted mouth-breathers the world over. Having never seen it myself, I can only assume that it was initially because of that British fag (how's that for redundant?) Simon and how mean he is to everybody. I guess a guy being a dick is kind of funny. I mean, I'm sort of a dick, and I'm pretty damn funny, but I toss it up a little, you know. Like one day I'll be talking about how President Bush is a mongoloid, but he next day, you can be sure I'll be making fun of cripples or something. But this Simon...I mean, how many different ways can you say somebody is bad at singing? It gets old. And not in a good way, like wine. In a bad way. Like girls. Anyway, I digress. This American Idol drek is really popular, and that in and of itself should constitute a sign of Armageddon. But one of the people who lost the, um, hardest is now enjoying a sort of peripheral stardom; William Hung. Now, I will admit, the first time I saw him sing anything, it was pretty funny. But I was flipping through the channels and I saw this abortion of a documentary on him playing on the FUSE channel. And everybody is talking about how refreshing and genuine he is, and how hard he tries, and how inspiring he is. And these people are saying these things without a trace of irony, with straight faces. Now you and I both know that when people hear William Hun sing, they are thinking about how funny and awful he is. But they're all spewing this crap about how wonderful and touching he is. It's like the Emperor's New Clothes; whenever William Hung opens his mouth, a fat naked man flies out and everyone on this documentary ignores it. It is deeply troubling. And they have, to this point, played this documentary FOUR TIMES back to back. I am worried. This documentary coming only a day after the debut of the retarded wrestler is surely and indication that the end is very nearly upon us. I suggest you all begin stockpiling bottled water. Also, get some duct tape. I will keep you advised.
Current Mood:  shocked
Current Music: I CANNOT EVEN DESCRIBE IT
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As you may recall, I do not think pro wrestling is something intelligent people should like. I accept that some people, maybe even some of you, my beloved and high-brow readership, might enjoy it as a "boy's soap opera" or "intellectual slumming", but I think these people should still be very embarrassed, and should only watch wrestling in closets, blushing furiously. Tonight, in any event, I accidentally had wrestling on the TV for a minute or two, and I am sorry to report that they have reached a new trench of human loathsomeness, a nadir untouched by any atrocity in recorded history. In a move which hearkens to the time when caesars forced lame midgets to hack at each other in the coliseum, WWE has introduced a new character. A retarded guy. They have an actor, pretending to be a retard, pretending to be a wrestler. Since there is no word that expresses this level of wrongness, I have been forced to make one up. And that word is "Ashcroftastic." I will alert you to other signs of the apocalypse as I continue to notice them with growing concern.
Current Mood:  embarrassed
Current Music: Dio - Holy Diver
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Previous 
contemplative
ecstatic
creative
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