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a threefold utopian dream

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[Mar. 24th, 2004|11:17 pm]
[Current Mood | artistic]
[Current Music |'stretch out and wait' - the smiths]

It's been a while since I've played with pictures I've taken. So out of the fifteen I took, only three of them were good enough to work on. I like the way they came out. *shrug*

wheeee )

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[Mar. 24th, 2004|08:52 pm]
[Current Mood | bored]

"Wanna go see Hellboy with me when it comes out?"
"What's it about?"
" You haven't seen a commercial for it?!"
"...I don't watch tv."
"Ooh.."



Yeah. I'm out of the loop. And, there should be pictures later on tonight. Of course, my eye went funny. Which makes me sad, but whatever.

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[Mar. 23rd, 2004|10:59 pm]
I am a very angry girl tonight.



Surprisingly, this guy cheered me up:

http://www.lamermelculo.com/video.php?id=611




Fuckin' awesome.
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[Mar. 21st, 2004|11:33 am]
[Current Mood | amused]

Maeveski (11:24:04 AM): Wanna see a scary movie?!
LuvlyLuvlyDream (11:24:10 AM): >.>
Maeveski (11:24:48 AM): You do!
LuvlyLuvlyDream (11:24:54 AM): lol.
LuvlyLuvlyDream (11:24:56 AM): I do?
Maeveski (11:24:57 AM): http://homepage.mac.com/jbrimm/Cat-With-Hands.mov It's so spooky....
Maeveski (11:25:02 AM): Yes. It was made with Mac.
LuvlyLuvlyDream (11:28:12 AM): lol....
LuvlyLuvlyDream (11:28:45 AM): THAT'S WHY I TELL PEOPLE NOT TO PLAY WITH STRAY CATS!!!!
LuvlyLuvlyDream (11:28:46 AM): >.>
LuvlyLuvlyDream (11:28:49 AM): Not really, but...yeah.

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[Mar. 18th, 2004|07:05 pm]
[Current Mood | annoyed]
[Current Music |'kate' - ben folds five]

Ugh. Today has been a mostly good day but the past few minutes aren't making for a happy Nina. Anyway. It's been a few days since I've updated, so...let's see.


The other day, when I was walking Zena, I saw a bird chasing another one in the trees around a house up the street (the house is almost completely covered by pine trees). They collided, tussled, and then shot out onto the lawn, their wings entangled with each other. The chaser pulled its wings free as it stood on top of the other bird. The other bird, lying on its back staring up at the sky, was not moving. I am 95% sure it died upon landing on its back on the ground. If not sooner.

The bird on top, a hawk-looking bird, stayed ontop of the other bird (a white and black creature around the same size as the other) for about a minute, just looking left and right. Above the house, another two birds were flying around like the pair on the ground. The second birds circled the rooftop once before diving into the trees. My attention was diverted when the brown and tan bird picked up the black and white one and took off down the street.

It was a jarring thing to watch, but not as jarring as when Zena picked up the fragment of jaw on a lawn up the street...



Ah well. To give another explanation of the rest of my day, I give you this:


LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:05:36 PM): I saw a car today with the license plate "4 U HOMIE" or something
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:05:39 PM): It was weird.
Maeveski (8:05:40 PM): lol!
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:06:28 PM): Also, I think I figured out why black people were kept at the back of the bus 'back in the day'.
Maeveski (8:06:38 PM): Why's that?
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:07:28 PM): I mean, if they were anything like the black people on the buses today, it was so they wouldn't bother the ever-living fuck out of everyone else on the bus with their loud laughing, their random obnoxious vocalizations, and swear at the top of their lungs -- sometimes all at once.
Maeveski (8:08:28 PM): *laughs!* Yeah. Rosa Parks was pretty roudy.
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:08:35 PM): >.<
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:10:00 PM): I know it's mean, but I almost commited a hate crime on the bus home because of the large quantity of obnoxious young black women riding with me.
Maeveski (8:10:39 PM): Yeah. They can be a loud people.
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:10:46 PM): >.<
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:12:40 PM): And.....I think the people on the other side of my wall around doing something in the room next to mine because I keep hearing this random noise through the wall.
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:12:51 PM): I am so tempted to smack the wall and see if it stops.
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:12:59 PM): Because it's bugging the hell out of me.
Maeveski (8:13:09 PM): Do it!
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:13:26 PM): But...
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:13:33 PM): lol.
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:13:52 PM): It sounds like someone obsessively painting over one particular section of trim on a wall.
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:14:14 PM): It's not a loud noise, but it just sounds like something lightly hitting the wall....and it's grating on me because I can't get it to stop.
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:15:11 PM): *sigh* Ah well. I will watch Lord of the Rings and I will be happy. After I sequester myself away from my family and then stay up late. mwahahahahahahaha.
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:15:28 PM): Leaving the house makes me nearly homicidal.
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:15:30 PM): Is that bad?
Maeveski (8:15:37 PM): leaving does?
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:15:45 PM): Yeah.
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:15:52 PM): Dealing with assholes makes me edgy.
LuvlyLuvlyDream (8:16:13 PM): Also, the busdriver kept driving the backend of the bus onto the curb when he'd pick people up.


It was a long day.



On the upside, I have an interview at The Children's Place on Monday over at Colonie Center. I'm hoping and praying that this will get me a job and stuff because, well, I need one. Nyarrrr.

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[Mar. 15th, 2004|08:12 pm]
[Current Mood | amused]
[Current Music |'daysleeper' - REM]

Yeah. So...I was in a weird mood this afternoon and had a little bit too much free time without anything to do. So I decided to cheer Maeve up because school can suck sometimes. And I was going to post this because I was amused at how it all turned out, then my computer did something funny and I lost the IM. Then Maeve, miraculously, posted it herself. So I snatched it. So...some of you have read this already. The rest of you, however...

this is why you should all be thankful if i don't talk to you on AIM )

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[Mar. 12th, 2004|12:23 pm]
[Current Mood | bored]

Alright, so.


New email address: sheisnina@netscape.net


Use it, love it, etc.


Because in a few weeks, my mac.com one will no longer work. So if you need to email me, please use my netscape one and not the other she_is_nina one. Yeah.


Not that I ever really get email. But ya know. Just thought I'd let you all know. :D

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if you weren't allowed to talk of yourself....you would have nothing to say. [Mar. 10th, 2004|01:04 am]
[Current Mood | amused]

Ah, Photobucket...I foresee us becoming good friends over the next few weeks.

and here's a souvenir to all of you who weren't around when i went on my latest sugar trip.. )


We can't all be witty when high on ssssuuuuuggggarrrrrr.


On that note...I'm going to attempt to go to bed. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


Shiiit, I amuse myself way too much.

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[Feb. 27th, 2004|11:05 pm]
[Current Music |Khaha.com radio.]

So...yeah.



Yesterday was the tenth anniversary of Bill Hicks' death.



Harumph.



I often wonder what he'd think of the current goings-on in the world. If he had any feelings on the matter, he'd be very vocal about it.


If you haven't heard any of his comedy, listen to it. A very smart man. And chances are, if you can't find any enjoyment in what he says, you're part of the group he's making fun of.

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[Feb. 27th, 2004|09:35 pm]
[Current Mood | amused]

It isn't a poem
Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema.
"I don't care. If it doesn't rhyme, it isn't
a poem."
You are a type A personality. You like bright
things, you don't call in sick to work, and you
have devastating opinions about art.


Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


*snicker*


It's trueeeee. 'Cept for the rhyme thing. At this point, I tend to abhor rhyming poems. But that's just me.

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[Feb. 27th, 2004|03:27 pm]
anyone want to do something this weekend?
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[Feb. 25th, 2004|11:59 pm]
[Current Mood | amused]

PENGUINS OMGWTFBBQ(tm) )

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[Feb. 25th, 2004|08:39 pm]
[Current Mood | accomplished]





Seriously.

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[Feb. 24th, 2004|09:24 pm]
[Current Mood | horny]
[Current Music |'guinevere' - edwin mccain]

So yeah. I've been reading The Mists of Avalon lately and Maeve's been talking about her Arthurian Lit class a lot, so this song has been on my mind lately. Really pretty. One of my all-time favorites. And I'm gonna share it. Because I am a whore.

Guinevere by Edwin McCain

After all the corridors are darkened
When the royal crown is off your head
To your chambers I will creep not a word we will speak
Just love me while the fire light dances 'round the bed

Well there is danger in this passion
Because the king can never never know
And on my blood I've sworn my allegiance
So I'll leave you when the sunlight comes and beckons me to go

And the silver shine is tarnished from my armor
And in battle I am paralyzed with fear
And this poison in my soul is the love we'll never know
And it finds me playing Lancelot to your Guinevere

Well and Guinevere is sly enough to steal a little taste
And her laughter it peals into the night
Oh but forbidden fruit always stays sticky on your face
And without virtue I'm worthless in a fight

Stealing little glances at the table
I feel that this is theatre in the round
But far away chasing vixens in the meadow
Your love like wind, blows right by and sweeps me off the ground
Your love sweeps me off the ground
Well now it sweeps me off the the ground

And the silver shine is tarnished from my armor
And in battle I am paralyzed with fear
And this poison in my soul is the love we'll never know
And it finds me playing Lancelot to your Guinevere



That is all. It's been five days since my last update. Next update will most likely be a comic, since I'm supposed to be making one right now but I'm not because I suck. Oh well. It'll get done. By tomorrow at the latest. Oops. :D

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[Feb. 19th, 2004|12:57 am]
AHAHAHAHAHA...god, this makes me seem so fucked up... )



it's true. it does.
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[Feb. 18th, 2004|08:03 pm]
[Current Mood | angry]

I was watching Law and Order again tonight during dinner and the case maddened me because it was one of those ones that was vague and not exactly taken care of by the end of the show.

The original case was taken care of in the first fifteen minutes of the show. Two parents come back from a weekend in England to find a bunch of hungover teens sleeping in their living room and their daughter shot on her bed. After a bit of research, it is determined that around 11:30 the night before, she went into her bedroom hysterical. Her boyfriend and a friend of his were looking at a gun they had found (one of the other guys at the party had brought it). The girl tells them that she received a letter and found out she had AIDS -- and in the confusion, she is shot. It was an accident, one that the friend of the boyfriend confirms.

The police officers find the letter, from a girl named Lana, asking the dead girl to talk to her. They find Lana and ask her about the letter. She confirms the story. Says they had both shared a boyfriend, as had another girl named Grace, one after the other. The boy, 'Twist' had told her about two weeks beforehand that he had AIDS, and Lana said he laughed. That he wanted to take as many girls with him as possible. Lana thought it was a sick joke until she got tested and found out he was serious. The girl, Grace, had already died.

They wanted to prosecute him on attempted murder.


It took a while to find him, and as the officers opened the door to the room he was in, they heard him say, "No, girl, it's better bareback." He is then taken into custody.



Twist's lawyer is a friend of his parents and does everything she can to get the case thrown out, dismissed, information suppressed, etc. It does get thrown out near the end of the show but McCoy gets some information that proved intent.

The path of the investigation was obstructed by politics, gay activists, etc. People want the case dropped because it'll make someone or other look bad. Gay activists are afraid it will make the gay communitiy look bad because when people hear AIDs they think gays. Nevermind the fact that the boy was infecting women, not men.

In the end, the dismissal was overturned and a deal was made. They bumped the charge from attempted murder to attempted manslaughter and got Twist 3 to 9 in jail. However, to make things all nice and neat, Twist was admitted to the hospital the night before the dismissal was overturned with pneumonia and had, at most, two weeks to live.

People with AIDS are not criminals for being sick. But if they knowingly have sex without the use of condoms, that is no better than spreading a plague by contaminating a water supply.


When I was younger, my grandfather wanted me to become a lawyer because I was a very logical and fair child. Looking at life now as a twenty year old, I wonder how people can bring themselves to defend certain cases, especially ones similiar to the case tonight on Law and Order. How can your moral barometer not go off repeatedly in this instance? A young man, running around, infecting others because he's angry at his own misfortune. Yes, he still has the right to whatever sexual endeavors he chooses, but his partners have a right to know, not to mention a right to life. And if you know you have AIDS (which he had for a year and a half before being brought up on charges) and still have unprotected sex, then you might as well be gunning people down in the streets. Instead he's ruining people's lives slowly. One girl nearly had a breakdown because she was never going to be able to have children, and most likely never going to get married. In her mind, her life was over. Because no matter what sexual preference you lean towards, when you have AIDS you often are treated romantically as a pariah because no one wants to risk contracting the disease themselves.

I guess I'm somewhat angry about how the show played out. I'm also angry that we live in a world with diseases like AIDS. We live in a world where people will infect others knowingly out of spite. And I want one day to bring my own children into this world. We wonder sometimes why parents are so overprotective of some children. How can we wonder when there are spiteful people out there willing to treat the lives of others with such disdain?

And that is why so often I find myself unable to live with the fact that I cannot trust people. Because so many people disregard the basic principles of right and wrong just to feel better about some poor choice(s) they have made in their lifetime.

Times like this make me wonder the point in being around, if this is the world we live in. Such hopelessness.

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[Feb. 18th, 2004|02:59 pm]
[Current Mood | amused]
[Current Music |'stay together for the kids' - blink182]

So people seem to be doing this random mp3 meme thing where you pull up all of your mp3s, shuffle them and then list the top 30 (I've seen people doing anywhere from 15 to 50, so 30 is a good number) on that list, even if they're kind of embarrassing. So I finally got around to doing so (iTunes is weird and doesn't shuffle the playlists like Winamp does, but I'm using Audion so it works now).

mm, mp3s )

And I keep forgetting to type up my old journals. I've been a bit too preoccupied with my hypothetical animation venture. More on that later. Now, must walk the dog.

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[Feb. 14th, 2004|09:58 pm]
[Current Mood | frustrated]
[Current Music |'josephine' - teitur]

      
Marriage is love.




Honestly, I would never go parading around with the P-FLAG members, or demonstrate or riot or any number of things, all in the name of same-sex marriages. But I guess I believe in it.


Knowing my father and Shawn have been together for eighteen years or so but can't share life insurance (Shawn has fibromyalgia and doesn't work, so it would be nice if he could be covered under my dad's insurance plan like a spouse would), all because people are worried about the 'sanctity of marriage'.

My stepfather mentioned something about how San Francisco had numerous thousand gay marriages in a two-day period in case a law was passed prohibitting it. He didn't get the big deal, why people were so up-in-arms about something as simple as two people wanting to get married in the eyes of the state. I mentioned the 'sanctity of marriage' bit, and so many Christians look at the Bible saying marriage is a bond between a man and woman before God, and therefore our gay brothers and sisters shouldn't even be gay, to say nothing of wanting to get married. My mother's response to that was that there were some heterosexual couples who ruined the sanctity of marriage.

People who marry for money, people who beat or otherwise torment their spouses, people who disregard the vows they made the day they became a couple in the eyes of the state/Church. And, I don't know if anyone has noticed, but this is rather prevalent in our society. So which is worse, two gay men/women in love who will stay faithful to each other (though there will be hardships like any other couple has), or a man and woman who get married and slowly decline into a spiral of drugs, alcohol, and child abuse?

Just because someone might not want to marry someone of the same sex doesn't mean they should bar the way for anyone else. This is how I feel about the abortion issue as well. Don't like abortion? Don't have one. But let other people make that choice for themselves.


Regardless of what anyone says, marriage is love. Or, at least, it's supposed to be. And I know one thing about my dad and Shawn, and many people like them. They wear the rings anyway. Might as well let them get married. Maybe the slew of receptions and bridal showers will help jump-start the economy. And, given the fact that we have that whole 'separation of Church and State' thing, it shouldn't matter what the Bible says about it. Just let them get married. Let them raise families together, let them be themselves and love each other.

And maybe if people get off their moral high horses about the sexuality issue, so many gays wouldn't feel it necessary to shove it in everyone's face. So we could all win. It shouldn't matter who you sleep with or fall in love with, as long as you're a good person.



..and there is my two cents about the matter.
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[Feb. 14th, 2004|10:16 am]
[Current Mood | amused]

http://www.fathersloveletter.com/fllnarration.html


Um. Yeah.

"An Intimate Love Letter from Father God to You"?



That kind of sounds like incest. Sorry, but it does.


Also, I think the video and the audio were out of sync because by the end, it said "Love, your Dad, the Almighty God" but had a footnote to Corinthians in the corner. But it was funny.


I also think it was somewhat misguided and...well..I dunno. I mean, it seems to have this highly idealistic idea of God. But me, I don't have the same view as others, I guess. So..


Um.



There's your Valentine's gift from me. An intimate love letter from your dad. Er, your god. Your almighty dad. Yeah. Good stuff.

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[Feb. 4th, 2004|12:03 am]
[Current Mood | indescribable]
[Current Music |'sad house daddy' - hawksley workman]

This has been a crazy night. I've spent a good portion of it messing around with Livejournal, but I'm somewhat getting ahead of myself.


Again, the idea to type up my old journals came to me earlier and I finally decided to sit down and begin typing up the hundreds of pages of journal writing I have lying around. It hit me that I have about three and a half years worth of writing to type up, all from the journals I was required to write in high school for Mrs Tocci, Ms Parker, and Mrs McGrath (I don't know where my freshman-year-Mrs-Sheridan one is). And there is some writing here and there after that. It'll be interesting and some of it jarring and upsetting and angering and amusing...all in rotation. I began realizing that there were some times when I was really fucked up and whatnot, or so blinded with rage that I couldn't help spout some of the shit that I did.

Obviously, considering how much writing I have, this will be a very long project. But I'm making it an open journal that anyone could read if they so desired (which is why this entry itself is unlocked). Comment, discuss, etc, but please understand one thing before commenting:


What I will be posting is all between two and four years old. I'm only changing grammar or tense mistakes, but everything else is staying exactly as-is. And, as far as I'm concerned, if something pisses you off, then don't read it. I can't do anything about what I wrote, but I'm worried about losing the writing (half of the journal entries were written in pencil), and am taking the time to type it all up. I know there are some people who would be interested in understanding some of what was going on in my head during certain times (mainly because I would go through random points of not expressing myself to people), and they are partially who I am writing this for.

So feel free to read it at your leisure. Please, as I said, remember that the writing is up to four years old, and I'm not terribly proud of a good amount of it. I'm doing this more out of posterity and as a backup in case the paper copies are destroyed. I have a lot of interesting writing to preserve, even if a lot of it is fucked up beyond recognition. But if it was alright to share with teachers, it must not've been too incredibly out of my mind, you know?


Anyway. The journal is [info]dreamsofperugia.

I offer no apologies for what I'll type up. An explanation, yes ('writer's notes' and all that), but otherwise...we'll just have to see.

And it's all backlogged, so I don't think it'll show up on your friends pages. So if anyone would like me to post in this journal to let you know when it was updated (most likely many entries at once, so maybe a 'notification' once every day or two), leave a comment or instant message me (luvlyluvlydream on AIM) and I'll make sure to make un-locked entries about the other journal.

-n.

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