Maybe it's because I know I'm going to start my period in a few hours, or maybe because I know I'll probably get yelled at tomorrow, or maybe because today has been rather awful, but I just want to dissapear. Or cry.
The everclear and hormones are making my stomach a mess, and I'm not intoxicated.
I need a phone so I can call people.

I'm getting a new phone this weekend...hopefully...if I have enough money...we'll see.
I still owe John lots of money for bills. Debt debt debt. So much fun...

I want to stop worrying about internships and jobs and my major and what the hell I'm going to do with the rest of my life and just spend one weekend lying in bed and reading. Doing research for my next play. Making a dent in Atlas Shrugged. Gay reading. Lots of gay reading. Oh yeah, I have a new idea for a play. It's gonna take a while. I have lots of research and searching to do if I want to get this how I'm imagining.

I haven't talked to my dad in over two weeks, and I'm starting to get worried that something's happened to him. My mom can't get ahold of him either. I don't know what to do... I don't have a phone. I don't have any free time. Bah. I just want Sarah to come up here and give me a hug and tell me everything's going to be alright so we can snuggle up in my bed and watch a movie and be happy.

So...f'ing...amazing.

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-video/Media/video/2005/01/27/golfgti.mov

Thank you, Rachel!

"No. I could totally imagine cumming on your breasts."

Oh, and check this out. I defitely got a little excited.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/corpse_bride/large.html

Bah. Judging by my rash of posting the racheLJemo theory isn't so sound.
I'm in love with my long underwear even though Ryan mentioned something about me looking like a ballerina this morning. I also want to put up the hood on my sweat shirt, but I'm afraid I'll look like a terrorist. Scratch that. 19-year-old white girls with rainbow bead necklaces generally aren't very theatening.
I'm in the computer lab...bored...and wasting time before I have to start rehersal at 6:30.

I feel kind of bad as a theatre major because I'm not seeing as much theatre as I should be. I spent the last hour or so looking up information on internships at a couple theatres in Chicago that I'm interested in. Only problem...I haven't seen anything at one of the theatres. I could say I don't have any time, things are too busy, blah blah blah, but excuses really don't cut it at this point considering I should be putting nearly all of my focus into my school work and preparation for life after graduation. Instead I'm just lollying about in my bed or at the computer all day. Now that my life is at what looks to be the busiest part of the year, I'm looking for shows that I can see so I don't look like a complete fool during internship interviews.
Ideally I want to work at Northwestern's summer theatre program, but every way I look at it, it doesn't seem reasonable. I'd work teaching or assisting classes and as an RA. They'll pay $1200 for six weeks, plus my room and board. Sounds great, but I already have a place to stay that I need to find some way to pay for. So, working ALL DAY for six weeks for twelve-hundred bucks and commuting to Evanston every day does not sound like so much fun to me. I dunno. I should contact the director and see what could be worked out. Key word there is should.
I also feel like a slacker because I'm taking the three quarter long playwriting course, yet I haven't even started writing anything for Wrights of Spring. I have an idea in my head, but no time to put it down on paper or get it to a point where I wouldn't be embarrassed to exhibit it to my peers. Of course I'll submit something next year, but I kind of feel like a big bum that hasn't made any advancements in her budding theatre career.
Rehersal gets out at 10:15. All I want to do right now is curl up in a ball and sleep. And a tub of cheese. I could go for some cheese right now.

The icon's for you, Beth.

I put on my pants today, and I discover this:

(insert sad face here)
So I need to go shopping next weekend (Friday after 2:10 or Saturday) for new pants and underwear, because both have holes in them.
Boo. The check from DePaul helps, though.

Oh. Yeah. Ryan, too. Plus something for Chas since he keeps taking pictures of kitties (though this isn't as nice).

Shit DAMN, motha fucka! It's snowin!

(Oh, and Kelly sent me the DVDs. HOLLA!)

So...um...someone sent me the entire Cowboy Bebop collection on DVD.
It's like a small piece of heaven from the US Postal Service.
Yet...who sent this to me, and when can I show you my appreciation with sexual favors?

Things that may actually mean something:
I begin stage managing Sunday at noon. Our last performance is March 3. Goodbye February. 6 weeks swallowed up by rehersals. This is why I need to stick with writing. Though, I can't complain too much. I could be doing worse things. Like running sets and props for the kids show. My director seems cool. Well. He's cool in that "the only thing I know about you is that your email address ends with @davidbowie.com" kind of way. My ASM is fun, so maybe I won't die. I'm done complaining.
Life is really really good right now. Skipped out on class and spent a lazy morning with Ryan. Still managed to catch up on my work, so the day is going to end well.
I'm going to be extremely satisfied when I put all the crap from my past behind me. Almost there. Almost there. Nothing from before matters. I feel like I'm going through my computer and deleting all my files dating from before the beginning of the 2004/2005 school year. It'll all be done soon, but it's a slow-going process.

Things that don't:
Whenever I think of Lyra's Oxford with her running over the rooftops with her friends, I always think of the DePaul library. Why? I have no idea. There's nothing extremely classical about it's architecture. Perhaps because it looks so distinctly...collegate.
I'm going to go spend an sit at Byrne hall before meeting Beth for dinner and the show. Maybe that hour will help not feel so bad about marking down ten hours on my time sheet...maybe.
I'm so broke...

Hey. Check it out. I redid the lj format. Come see my new man.

The Great LiveJournal Outage of 2005 During the outage I became bi. What did you do? Brought to you by geek-foo

( Fine, Austin. I'm bored. Here ya go. )

Went to Rocky Horror Saturday with some most wonderful girls. Lost my virgin status. Hooray! Survived the LJ Blackout of 2005 with minimal freaking out. I also created a facebook community which (some of) you can see here. It's really really really f'ing cold. Thank you for the gloves, Molly Wyse!

So, I was misinformed. I've been getting these signals that people in my old regular group of friends were getting testy with one another, but I was told wrong. I shouldn't be surprised considering who I got this from. But whatever. I never see you guys anyway...
Please don't jump all over me for this. I get enough grief already. I feel how I feel. I feel hurt, and I just don't want to be around things that hurt me.
And the name calling isn't helping.

I'm sitting here in a towel...have been for half an hour. Something tells me I should get dressed and attempt to fold my clothes.
I'm really pulling for an ice storm and no school tomorrow. Spending the day warm and snuggly in bed sounds pretty good.

In the year 2005 I resolve to: Stop being a productive member of society. Get your resolution here

http://thefifthdistrict.com/potter/

So is everyone in the (once) society. pissed off at everyone else?
Just curious. I'm not in the know.

Classes have started with a bang. Well, maybe a fizzle and possible a small popping noise. I'm totally and completely in love with my Sophomore Multiculturalism Seminar: Gay and Lesbian American 1940-Present. I feel totally Hermione-like - reading my assignments and ahead as soon as I get out of class. It's even better that Salina's in the class with me so we can write naughty notes back and forth. Aren't you glad it's legal to take it in the ass now? I am. Yes.
On that note: I'm having great sex. Not in the ass.
Theory presented to Livejournal: The intensity of the relationship a person finds themselves in is inversely proportional to the number of posts that person makes. I call this the racheLJemo theory, but only for the reason that I wanted to type out racheLJemo.
One last happy fact: The quality of my sleep is improving dramatically. I'm still not used to getting up in the single digit numbers, but the support system helps. By support system I mean the cute boy who pulls me out of the blanket pile.
OH! AND! it snowed a lot.

REPLY TO THE EVITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love love love love love love love love love love love LOVE you!

Merry Christmas, all!

I've come to the conclusion that people really aren't so bad, and Christmas is a very special time. Whether you're celebrating it for Jesus; peace, joy, and goodwill; Santa; or consumerism, it's a nice time of year. I busted my bank account, but the joy of giving gifts fills me with a nice warm fuzzy feeling inside (or maybe that was the amazing amount of champagne and beer I had last night...) I love spending time with my family, both those related and extended, and it's been great to see all of those who helped to create all the good memories I associate with growing up here.

I return to Chicago Thursday night for one last snuggle and hoorah before school begins again.

Ding! Dong! Ding! Dong!

So DePaul is mad at me because my tuition for last quarter was not fully paid, and neither is the tuition for the coming quarter. This is because my mother wasn't intelligent enough to fill out loan applications correctly. So, by now, she has to have another endorser (my father) in order for me to get the loans. The only problem with this is that there's no way to get or fill out the endorser form on the website because the site is down. I call financial aid, their lines are all busy. DePaul's really pissed, yet, can I get help? Please? Gah. Why can't I have one dealing with the school that goes successfully?

My paid account has expired, and I don't have the money to renew it. This makes me a sad panda.
I've basically stopped reading entries. I skim, I scan, and it's always the same stuff rehashed and said over and over again by different people. Sorry if that makes me a horrible person. I just don't want to deal with any more drama. I could just take all the people off my friends list with journals I don't read, but I know that would offend so many of you (that probably don't read mine anyway) that I don't want to deal with the madness that would follow. I'm really not liking people right now, which is horrible during the Christmas season.

Lymphnode ahoy!