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JesterXL

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Strike [Jul. 31st, 2004|03:00 pm]
[Current Mood |stressed]
[Current Music |Blue Fear - Armin - Northern Exposure]

The potential strike of some union at BellSouth has got me mad stressed. My manager and other 2 co-workers might not stand for such a thing, and rather than go on their assigned duties of 12 hour days for 13 days straight doing pole climbing in Lousiana, or tech support in Miami, they might walk.

Now, I and my other co-worker are immune cause we're contractors, but still... I have such a good thing here and I don't want to lose it. I can get another job no problem, but I don't want another job, I love this one.

My Director (boss' boss) doesn't seem much concerned, though, so I'm not sure what the heck to think. One the one hand, I'd probably become in charge, but I am not technically capable to take the project to fruition... bleh.

I screwed up with an unamed company too. I accidentally spouted to the wrong email list confidential information. It was Friday, so I was tired and stressed, and didn't think about what I was saying, or who I was saying it too.

....school adds +2 stressness to the whole she-bang.

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Bent Over Twice? [Jul. 13th, 2004|05:54 pm]
Dude, so fuggin' livid. My contracting firm has sent me a receipt for every direct deposit it makes every 2 weeks that I work at BellSouth. The problem is, it's the same amount... every single time. I have worked 20 hour weeks, but generally been working 50 hour weeks, so I'm missing a lot of money in the extra hours I've been working.

If it's not resolved by tomorrow, I'm giving them the ultimatum that I have a check, in my hand by next Friday for the difference they owe me, or I give my manager my 2 weeks notice that Friday. This isn't 2002, I have a job offer a month, I don't need this shit. This is, maybe, the 2nd time I've been bent over by a recruiting firm. If it is confirmed tomorrow, this is the last time I ever deal with them, period. I either talk to the company directly, or no deal.

...>GOOISUFILSDJF GOD I could break something...
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Testing [Apr. 22nd, 2004|11:50 pm]
Once again...
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Mic Check, v2, v2.1, v2.2... [Apr. 22nd, 2004|02:18 pm]
Testing posting from LJ Pal v2. Coding is neato, cheato, my labido, pulled up in my new tuxedo...
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I Quit [Apr. 15th, 2004|01:40 am]
I gave my 2 weeks notice today. It sucked. My manager was very positive, had nothing but good things to say. There was one minor miscommunication about me not mentioning I wanted to work upstairs, but I'd never tell my boss I don't want to work for him and risk getting fired...

Anyway, the place is full of role-models, mentors, and all around great people; all of the companies. That's why I've turned down 3 job offers in the past 18 months; none of those places appear to offer the great community this place has. It's just a suck situation... I mean, I'm not leaving anything negative at all. It's so sad, I'll miss everyone... If only they actually had work for me!

I'm grateful for all of the positives of my new job, all the neat stuff I'll be working on, the money, the new people I get to meet... but, this change of change wasn't expected. I just assumed things would get bad and I'd leave, but they didn't get bad. So, it's tough. I'm so depressed over it. Maybe when I get paid for all of this contract work and frikin' get out of this fuggin' diversity class in school, things will be more on the up and up.
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Job #3 [Apr. 13th, 2004|11:02 am]
[Current Music |Animist Orchestra -- 4/7/01 -- lowercase - sound2002 (2002) (Sleepbot Environmental Broadcast --- -- - copious aural basking - -- ---)]

Technically my 8th job, but really the 3rd that applies to my career. Just got the offer letter and am signing and returning tonight. There goes my current job as her majesty put it.

Tis sad, but good. Change is full of that stuff.

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F$)(%*$ing Recruiters [Apr. 12th, 2004|08:24 pm]
[Current Mood |angry, frustrated]
[Current Music |Solar Quest - Trisine]

So, been battling to get a new job; my current one sux; time to move on.

There are a lot of positives; more money, meeting new people, company I'll work for embraces my type of technology...

...but I have to go through a recruiter. This is the 2nd time I've had to do this, and I thought it would be better this time. This time, I didn't mention how I much I make, nor did I NEED the job. ...didn't matter; there is no such thing as an offer from these people, and it's all bs. I'm not saying I'm Mr. Negotiator, but I was taught EVERYTHING is negotiable, so I'm just, once again, flabbergasted I'm getting dicked over.

Now, some would argue that the offer is great, and it's a win-win in every scenario.

I disagree. I'm making the same mistake twice, and that to me is a sin. There must be another way... 'course, I don't know anyone in the company I'm hopefully gonna work for, so I don't see how their HR dept. would know to hire me.

....muther-fuggin-BLEH!

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test11 [Apr. 2nd, 2004|08:06 am]
test11
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flashanywhere [Apr. 2nd, 2004|12:42 am]
http://www.flashanywhere.net/
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test11 [Apr. 2nd, 2004|12:31 am]
test11
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Hosting Woes & Talking Hamster [Mar. 12th, 2004|10:41 pm]
[Current Music |Solar House - Angel]

You know your a geek when you have hosting drama. I had to switch back to Mediatemple since they gots da Perl, da Perl, dah, dah... da Perl.

Managed to increase my space by a multiple of 5, + 50 megs because of the new plan, and lower my monthly payments by $5. JesterXL.score++;

This blog is great because I can bitch and rant about everything and nothing... but for technical jargon, GAWD, it's hurting not having my blog. I NEED TO WRITE about anything and everything. Soo much stuff going on and stuff working on.

BTW, look at this craziness... you can make pictures say weird shiot!

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Sick all-ova [Mar. 11th, 2004|08:36 pm]
[Current Mood |sick]
[Current Music |Paul Oakenfold - Paul Oakenfold - Live @ Gatecrasher]

I took a sick day. I know, shocking. I took the advice of a co-worker yesterday, and took advantage of a work benefit that I would of never thought of, except in cases like these. I think wearing my meat-head shirt in the cold of Tuesday was not a good. It was sunny, man!

Anyway, been home all day, sluggish, sore throat, and just feel bleh. My email and website's been on the frits, so I can't even blog, and now that my email server is down, I have no idea if I'm even getting email, let alone know if the ones I sent even got there.

Hopefully, I'll feel better tomorrow, and I'll be able to clean the house in preparation for my first day back at school Saturday, I'll get my website back up, email squared away, and enough sleep. Geez, gotta aim high... bleh, I wish drinking brrrr made you feel better, I could go for a Coronoa about now...

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Dream Last Night [Mar. 10th, 2004|09:38 am]
[Current Mood |sick]

*** warning: slightly gory ***

I had a dream last night I died. I was watching a real live movie of a war hero, played by Clint Eastwood. He got shot in the stomach in WW1, and was ok, and fought on. However, in the dessert in WW2, he got shot in the stomach again. This time, though, the wound was bleeding pretty heavily. It hurt, but not excruciatingly so, probably missed the stomach.

Anyway, I suddenly was in his spot because I empathized with him, and then I was him. I placed my hand to my stomach; it had to be the size of a half-dollar, the wound. I couldn't stem the flow. I quickly collapsed to lay down. I tried to stem the flow by bunching my shirt, but no dice. Things started getting really hazy right when the medic came to me. The shots of the Germans were distant. I didn't know where my fox hole buddy was, I guess to get the medic. I tried to formulate thoughts to make sure I didn't forget anything. I wanted to make sure my fiancee was ok, the kids were in the will ( I don't have kids) , but I knew I was out of time even as I was thinking about them as my consciousness quickly started to fall away. All I could feel was the warm blood on my stomach coming out of the wound too fast for me to survive such a loss. All I knew to physically do was hold my hand there as best I could, somehow my last grasp on life. Surprisingly, I wasn't as mad as I thought I'd be. I've always been akin to Robert Frost's poem to his father, telling him to not go silently into that dark night. I think all the willpower I could muster was the only thing keeping me alive; holding my right hand to my stomach instead of my rifle, and the last thing I saw was the medic's face, calm, sad, but determined. I think either I expended all the energy to hold onto those last physical sensations, or maybe it was there wasn't enough brain synapse time to be angry.

'Course, now that I think about it, I don't want to be angry when I die. The whole point if living the way I do is that I can die with dignity, knowing that I didn't waste any day that was given to me, and each day rocked. Even with all the things I hadn't done, I felt content. I was a little saddened, but I felt death was inevitable at this point, and my family would do ok. Things started getting really fuzzy, cloudy, and whitish blue as I visualized words of tasks since my real sight had failed.

Then that faded too, and all I could feel was the warm blood on my hand. Everything was gray around it, and the rest was black. I felt like something was coming, but I didn't know what. I was pretty calm considering, and waiting, almost like I knew I had to wait for a bit; wait to die, I guess. Score 1 for tenacity.

...and then I woke up. I could still feel the blood coming out. I grasped at my stomach, but I was fine. Blinking my eyes a few times, it was early. I guess because I'm a little sick my sleep has suffered, and naturally I have unpleasant dreams like the above. Course, I've had worse, the above wasn't so bad. I gotta stop feeling guilty for not joining the military, and find contentment in my life. Why can't I just be happy and appreciative and move on? I've already attained the American Dream. What an unappreciative, shameful, spoiled lamer.

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Pine Needles [Mar. 9th, 2004|11:01 am]
Her majesty got those yard peeps to clean our backyard yesterday. Looked a helluva lot better. I then proceeded to carry the 56 bails around to the backyard, toss over the fence, and then place all around the hill to later break apart and spread. Hill will look really nice once it's had time to settle.

However, those mofo's are sharp! I had no idea pine needles were so lethal. My forearm is covered in pokes. They don't hurt, but definitely feel sore when touched. Shoulda' worn a long sleeve shirt originally.

There was a comment made about how some tornados are so powerful, that after one such funnel, a pine needle was found driven through a 2x4 (two by four - piece of wood). In this case, I think the power is not in the wind, but rather, the tenacity of a dead pine leaf.
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Weekend [Mar. 8th, 2004|10:32 am]
Saturday morning; first week I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn to go to school for 6 hours. That's right, I could of slept in on a Saturday! Instead, greed drove me awake. There is this guy who saw me talk last week (or week before), and wanted to discuss with me a project he was working on. Saw, attempted to wake my arse up before the sun was high to travel to his "office" to discuss his project. He is a smart and personable guy, so we talked about work and non-work stuff for about 4 hours. He wasn't interested in contractors, but later offered me to help; hoping it was my passion for Flash that sold him on that. He also had the biggest lab I had ever seen.

Afterwards, came home, helped her majesty clean da hizzouse, and went out to eat with my parents. Good food at a local seafood restaurant. Afterwards, headed to Visions in Atlanta to go clubbing with one of her majesty's work friends from Israel. Fun.

Spent most of Sunday lounging around, sleeping, and doing pretty much nothing constructive. Attempted to code twice, but that didn't work out. At least I fixed my web site.

Dude, I'm so out of it... more water + coffee...
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Transfer [Mar. 3rd, 2004|09:15 pm]
[Current Mood |focused]
[Current Music |Carbon Based Lifeforms - Hydroponic Garden]

My website's been down for about 2 days now. Nice to get comments from peeps in the Flash community asking what's up. Show's theirs interest. Thousands of page views a day doesn't do squat for my self-esteem, no matter how accurate the numbers. Real people showing real interest is what makes all the difference, even if the number is just one.

Ordered hosting service from this company out in Arizona. Closer than Cali... I put all of my hosting provider posibilities on Excel spreadsheet, and rated and scored based on my priorities. However, they couldn't even send me an email even though I got confirmation last night. wtf... all of this for 2 gigs? Plan B is this company in Atlanta; a bit pricey, but cheaper than what I'm currently paying at Mediatemple and a lot more space... which is my #1 priority. I should probably just buy a static IP and host my self.

Did I mention it's frustrating going to sleep every night feeling like you didn't give enough?

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Food Fight [Mar. 1st, 2004|08:55 pm]
[Current Music |Prodigy - Narayan]

d00d, it was the worst. I accidentally inhalled deeply while eating Maruchan instant noodles, Picante, and ended up inahaling a noodle! Aw dude, my sinuses started frikin', I had to sneeze it out... that was the worst!

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test17 [Jan. 28th, 2004|12:24 pm]
test17
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test11 [Jan. 28th, 2004|08:57 am]
test11
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test6 [Jan. 27th, 2004|01:50 pm]
test6
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