Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
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2:21 pm - Friends only
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I do believe, that as of now, my journal will be friends only...
so if you actually care..let me know and i will add you
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, October 3rd, 2004
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11:06 am
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bleh
went to the bunker (woohoo) with jessica last night to see some band named sonic voodoo...some guy that she works with is in it
they were alright...more tolerable with drinks in me
the first band though, left out, was pretty cool..it was a guy, with his 12 year old son and 13 year old daughter
and man could she sing...pretty impressive
then we ate dennys..which was a bad idea...my stomach was not so happy later on
i also went to buy xmas presents at kohls and jones store because of sales...and i only ended buying myself things..on credit cards too
bad me
today i have to finish the essay i have put off for too long...
funfun...
essay time
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Friday, October 1st, 2004
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4:59 am
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meh..today is another fun 5:30-4 shift
then i have to get my essay done since i didn't do it yesterday
and then i will do a whole bunch of nothing
maybe clean
maybe not
james is in st. louis till sunday with thor
jessica has to help her grandma this weekend
meghan will die if she is separated from her girlfriend
and uhm..
laura is far away (i consider you my friend if you like it or not)
that is about the extent of it
bob is snoring on the couch
off to work now
damn i'm exciting
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Thursday, September 30th, 2004
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4:40 pm - ticketmaster can eat my ass
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yeah..2 skinny puppy tickets....$50
fine
$14 convenience charge AND $4 processing charge
what the fucking hell???
i hate you ticketmaster
go straight to hell
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, September 29th, 2004
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10:11 pm
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i'm a moron
i base my entire life around stupid things that are so simple but they make me happy or a time that won't suck so much
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, September 28th, 2004
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11:55 pm
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i skipped math class again
then today i didn't get the homework done
then i think i might have a test tomorrow that i'm worried about
i haven't started writing my essay that is due this week, and i don't even have the book i need yet
my knees have been bothering more lately and now my hips too
i've been silently freaking out lately and getting all worried and panicky
i'm not handling anything, even small shit too well, and i'm waiting for people to realize it
i'm gonna fuck stuff up
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, September 23rd, 2004
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1:32 pm
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blah..i got a 73 on my accounting test...that kinda sucks...but i think the class didn't do so well in general so that makes me feel a little better.
i think i may have done part of my online english class too late and i don't know if i will get credit for it
i also ran into my old photo teacher from pv..i'm really surprised he remembered me...i'm not a memorable person..and it made me realize just how bad i am at talking to people..i've got to get over the whole being shy and not knowing how to make conversation thing...i suck...
they gave me a different bc since mine was so old..and it is suppose to have lower stuffs in it and help me lose weight and hopefully clear up my skin a bit
i'm just scared that instead my body will be all confused and i'll gain weight
yup..doing laundry is fun..better get on that
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Sunday, September 19th, 2004
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11:25 am
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haven't been updating because i never have anything to say..and i still don't
went and saw shaun of the dead on friday
pretty good/funny movie
and i am not normally scared by movies, and i wasn't by this one, but i had zombie nightmares all night that kept waking me up along with the hail/thunderstorm
i'm getting ready to leave for work here in a second, and i think i may just "accidentally" fall asleep..meh
work, is followed by homework, sleep, then tomorrow i get to go to my yearly exam!!! woohoo..i can't contain myself
who needs $50? not me...cheaper than a baby
anyhow..off to work
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, September 14th, 2004
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6:16 pm - skinny puppy!!!!!
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skinny puppy is in fact coming to kansas city
and i'm excited
but i don't know of anyone that will go with me
jessica said she might, but i know she'd hate it
james said he would, but i know he'd hate it too
meghan might go, but she will not part from her girlfriend for 2 seconds
i will go alone if i have to
damn my friends and their crappy musical tastes
i'm always tired...always..too little sleep? too much sleep? no, no matter what amount of time i sleep i am tired
i think my body just hates me
my math test was not as bad as i thought it would be..i got done, and then had to wait for him to hand back my homework for about 15 minutes, and i was still the first one done..i'm hoping it wasn't because i did something wrong
i have an accounting test on thursday that i'm not so sure about
i got an A on every single test in my last class and this time, i'm a little worried
i need to start my essay too...but again, i have no energy
so i think i'll just do my math homework, study for awhile, and then go to bed...cause i'm exciting like that
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, September 12th, 2004
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5:45 am
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so yeah...i feel crappy today as well
i think though, sleep would have helped, but i always find myself not going to bed when i say i will to do other things...
i wish i could even go to bed when i got home, but i put off homework again, and i have a test tomorrow that i do not understand the material for
but whatever
i'm not too sure why i go to school
today is my mom's birthday
they are out of town and i'm not sure when they will be back, so when i let their dog out this morning i will leave her present
i've never been close to my parents at all and the thought of calling her on her birthday and telling her i love her is just something i would never do
i talk about nothing again
off to work
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Saturday, September 11th, 2004
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10:39 pm
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today was odd
i felt strange all day...and i have no idea why
nothing that a little crying won't take care of...yup, that was a whole lot of fun for me
i'm just dumb
i need to stop be so over-sensitive about everything i think..well, i know
i feel emotionally drained...and it sucks because i'm never going to have anything because of my inability to open up to anyone...last time i did, i get it thrown back in my face, or i got made fun of later...
my whole sense of trust for anyone is fucked too...
i don't want to be that girl who just goes from one relationship to another, because i am NOT afraid to be alone...regardless of what my mother thinks...
i am totally unable to make friends because social situations freak me out...i'm that girl that doesn't sit all the way in the back of the class because she doesn't want to be called on, but i sit far enough back so that there aren't a lot of people behind me staring at me
i'm afraid that everyone is looking at me and just think about how incredibly ugly or fat i am...
i'm not the smart kid..i'm not the pretty one or the talented one
i have nothing
boo fucking hoo poor me right? fuck everyone...i hate people....
i'm tired of my shit job i can't seem to get away from
i'm tired of feeling alone even when i'm with friends (all two of them)
i'm tired of being so fucking paranoid it keeps me from doing the things i want to do
i'm tired of crying over things from the past and just wondering what is so wrong with me for someone that says the care about me to do those things?
i'm fucking sick of not being able to tell someone what is wrong when i really want to tell them
mostly, i'm scared of losing what is important to me from being so scared
i'm going to bed, to wake up to my wonderful fucking reality of sonic
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, September 8th, 2004
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7:24 am
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i feel like shit
going to bed upset=headache in the morning
i have chosen to just not think about things to stay sane and then people make me think about things
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Monday, September 6th, 2004
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7:51 am
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no school today but guess what?! i get to work! lucky me
saturday i won about $220 on a dime slot and did i put that toward my credit cards like i said i would? uhm..i bought clothes....i am bad
and i am officially done christmas shopping for one person
on to the next
today i get to do five billions different thing for homework..that is pretty exciting too
and this is officially the start of my "lose 5 pounds or more in a week" week
blahblahblah
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Wednesday, September 1st, 2004
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7:42 am
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i hate shaving
and waking up early
stupid shaving
anyhow...i thought my wisdom teeth were all the way in, but one is starting to hurt again and i'm hoping it is because it is growing and not because it is irritated in some other way..my dentist told me keeping them may cause problems since they are so hard to brush...but, i don't think i can gather up enough money to get them pulled, and i don't think i can take the time away from work/school
i need my damn accounting book already
bastards...i've waiting this long and it will end up being the wrong one
bob is all curled up underneath my blankets looking so cozy and warm
i keep having these dreams that people die
the other night it was a kid i went to school with named jason jones, and then i saw him at work last night..it was kinda creepy
last night it was my dad, and then i woke up, fell back asleep and my uncle died (who just so happened to be prince, yeah, the singer)
in the one with my dad his cancer had come back and he killed himself because he was suffering too much...bah
i have issues
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, August 31st, 2004
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2:03 pm
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well..i got a new aim name
and it is dumb..i know this, but everything else was taken
so
if you care, look at my info
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Sunday, August 29th, 2004
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4:45 pm
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it was so hard not to fall asleep on the drive home from work
now i have to motivate myself to do homework...business law? yeah, that will keep me awake
i have all these bruises everywhere and i don't know where they came from
meh
my friend also thinks he broke his foot and is currently at the hospital because walking seems to be a challenge for him at times i guess
i want to skip the homework and curl up with the bob and sleep until i get up at 7 tomorrow..
poop..i am boring
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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5:59 am
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i had a bad night
got far too little sleep
and i still feel shitty
and i have homework and laundry i have to do when i get home because i put it off for too long again
i want to sleep for days
i want to forget about all the dumb shit that bothers me on a daily basis, and the little stuff that makes me cry
i want to quit my job and go take more classes
i want to never have to worry about money or my credit card bills or whether or not someone cares
i did break up with joe, though it wasn't yesterday or the day before...because i was tired of wondering when the next fight would be..and i was tired of feeling hurt by the person i love.and i want to pretend i don't miss him or care about him
but i do, and i wish i was a more hateful person because that would be easier
now i just am scared about anyone else knowing all the stupid bullshit about me that drives people away from me
just me and bob will be fine with me...bob is the only one who never stops loving me anyhow
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, August 26th, 2004
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12:20 am
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these past two days made me realize i should not have waited so long to take either math or accounting since my last math and accounting classes...cause uhm..i don't remember stuff so much
i did not finish my homework..i'm already putting stuff off till it's too late..it is going to be a long semester
poop
off to bed
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
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12:16 am
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ok..so i gave up on the old email
now i have a new one
fallenisis@hotmail.com
yay for me
time for bed...i gots work, school and homework tomorrow
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, August 24th, 2004
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3:48 pm
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so uhm yeah i'm dumb
i changed some passwords, and forgot them
and to get sent a reminder it has to be sent to my email i forgot the password to
so..poop
and, they are out of my accounting book so i tried to order it off of half.com, but the confirmation will be sent to the email address i can't get to, so i won't know if i'm gettting it or not
poop on me
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