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LiveJournal for Hannah.
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| Friday, June 28th, 2002 |
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you know you are officially a dork when something funny/cool/sad/mean/annoying happens and you rehearse in your head what you are going to write in your live journal. i notice i do that a lot. wow. dorky hannah. absolutely nobody is online. except jessica shipley and shes away at work. i am officially bored. i thought it would be cool not having basketball right after drivers ed but it ended up just being boring. sitting around thinking about all the fun things people are probably doing at the momment. i need to get a job. but i dont have any time whatsoever. my mom said that in order for me to get my license i have to have the 500 dollar deductible for the insurance in case i get in a crash. ive got like 200 max. maybe ill call a temp agency or something. park cars for a weekend or some stupid thing like that. well have i bored you enough allready? dont worry, im just getting started. i had drivers ed today which wasnt so bad i guess. i gotta drive on the freeway (brendan if you tell me you have your license i will personally punch you. hard.) and i did resonably well. the only thing was that i totally cut off this guy and he got really mad. thank god my car said student driver all over it, or else i think things couldve gotten ugly. i got in a fight with my mom when i was driving home from jessicas. i slowed, looked both ways, but didnt stop at a little intersection in a residential area (there was NO stop sign) and she accused me of doing something illegal. now i know thats not true because while i was driving with my instructor i DID stop at an intersection and he said that if theres no traffic coming and no sign then you SHOULDNT stop because it could hold up traffic behind you. he said if i stopped during a test they would dock me points. i calmly explained all this to my mom and she told me that she "didnt appreciate my tone of voice" and at any minute she could "pull the car over and drive the rest of the way home herself." god parents i swear. first she forces me to go to this stupid long driving class and then when i acctually learn something she STILL gets mad. geeez louise. ive got two more games later. it would be cool but i dunno they are kinda far away. maybe i can drive! haha. i was gonna get my hair highlighted today but my MOM NEVER called the stylist so i didnt get an appointment. and i was gonna do stuff with murphy today but i guess that didnt workout. tomorrow maybe? wow its raining really hard. i dont understand how it can be beautiful one day and like crappy the next. stupid weather people. ive been feeling really weired lately. its like everything is sort of sad, but not really in a crying way, but in a way that you have that little sinking feeling in your stomach. i just need something really really really good and happy to happen and then maybe it will snap me out of the shit. |
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| Thursday, June 27th, 2002 |
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hey ya know what? i am actually in a very good mood right now! and its not because of friends or boys or whatever, its because of BASKETBALL!!! ahhhh i love it! basketball is soo cool. seriously i dont know if yall can understand. i have always loved basketball, but basically it usually added stress not taken it away. but yeah we had a game tonight and played clackamas. now last time we played them we only won by like 1. but tonight, now that was another story. everybody played so well, all of our outside shots were calling and i was posting up super well. and i got 3 blocks!! whooo hooo! and one of them was on a three and i capped that girls ass!!! hahaha we ended up winning by like 10 or so. then afterwards the team went to TCBY and got ice cream. and it was funny cuz natalie and i were in her car and all of a sudden her cone just broke and her ice cream went everywhere. she like had it all in her hands and was screaming because her hands where going numb and the ice cream was dripping all over her. meanwhile her dad refused to give her napkins! hahaha i dont think ive laughed that hard in a LONG time. i was at the point where i was laughing so hard that it was like a silent laugh. it was great. good times good times THE PIL BETTER WATCH OUT NEXT SEASON CUZ LINCOLNS HOOOOMMMMEEE!!!! |
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| Tuesday, June 25th, 2002 |
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there are so many things i want to say, so many things i think, but can never tell anybody. i dont even know why im writing in this because too many people read this for it to be any way shape or form private. i just wish i could talk to something, something that i wouldnt even have to explain very much and they'd just know what i was talking about. i wish I knew what i was talking about. i just cant figure anything out. because everybody i could talk to has their own opinion. i just need something or somebody to talk to. love sucks. lets just put that one out there. everything about it is complicated, confusing, and it never works out. (and im not just talking about one guy here, im talking about MULTIPLE things that are going on right now) i just dont understand why everything has to be so confusing. why i cant trust myself, why i let myself trust others, or why i have such high standards. why isnt he there when i need him most? |
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| Monday, June 24th, 2002 |
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wow i just went through an amazing emotional roller coaster. so i go downstairs, looking incredibly forward to eating a piece of delicious chocolate cake. i run down the stairs happily when all of a sudden i come across the empty cake pan. THE HORROR!! i start screaming wildly, completely and utterly distraught. this point i am on the verge of tears and i turn on some country and start sadly doing the dishes. well low and behold when putting away a dish i see ONE SQUARE OF CAKE LEFT ON THE COUNTER!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHH WHOOOOO HOOOO OHHH YEAH! i move in for the kill and devour the amazing chocolaty goodness. and thats my story. |
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| Sunday, June 23rd, 2002 |
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ahh it seems like i've got so much to write but i dont know how or how to organize my thoughts or whatever. ill start with the most important things first. i made a chocolate sheet cake and it was damn good. i ate so much my stomach kills. haha. the smiths came over for a barbeque tonight and that was fun. bbq's always make me feel like its really summer. i love that feeling. summer. ahhh today i spent about 4 hours starting to clean out my room. i've got so much junk in it. seriously i've like never really given anything away. i have all the crap since i was little. i already have a HUGE cardboard box full of stuff to give away. its kinda sad though because i worked for so long and my room still looks like a whirlwind hit it. i eventually want to have everything clean (like my closet, and NO more piles of magazines n crap) and then get rid of a bunch of shelf things and my vanity table and get a cool chair in it. and im redoing my canopy bed and making the thing over the top white and making it so you can pull the little curtains shut! cool!! ugh i have been on the computer ALL day long and now jake comes up and is saying i need to get off. ive got drivers ed tomorrow. can i shoot myself now please?? god and cardinal camp. and games. fuck. |
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| Thursday, June 20th, 2002 |
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correct me if im wrong, but isnt summer suposed to be fun? its not suposed to be waking up at 7 everyday, having about 2 hours of homework daily, and no having a social life. plus with atleast one or more basketball games everynight kind of wipes out the evenings. take today for example. woke up at 7. went to wilson at 8:15 for drivers ed. got out at 1. (for those of you who arent good at math its about 5 hours solid of being absolutely bored out of your mind) ooooo wait!! yeah dan (blackman) just called. invited me to watch a movie wit him SCORE! SOCIAL CONTACT! later gator |
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| Wednesday, June 19th, 2002 |
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my mom just came up and asked me if i wanted to host a 16 year old guy from spain. and i asked her- how tall is he? har har. but seriously, how wierd would that be if you visited another country and your host daughter like towered over you. scary. but if he is tall..... hahaha wow am i superficial or WHAT?! oh god these past three mornings have been abosolute HELL! drivers ed sucks my ass. i just sit there for like 5 hours and listen to the instructor guy who is fat, ugly, annoying, and has a terrible lisp. jessica has decided that he is cyclops. i have to agree with her on that one. ugh my stomach hurts. maybe thats because i just had taco bell. im so healthy i amaze myself. atleast im cutting back!! i used to eat it ATLEAST 3 times a week!!!! hahaha imagine how much skinnier i'd be if i never ate all those burritos. damn. ok as you can see im pretty much writing about nothing. im gonna go and pick up my film from the last day of school and sunriver. |
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| Sunday, June 16th, 2002 |
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im feeling sorta guilty right now. i didnt get anything for my dad for fathers day. i mean technically the "kids" got my dad a new grill but really my mom paid for it and he knows it. i guess its another year of giving a generic hand made card and coupons (good for "one hug", "mow the lawn" etc etc) next year i will do something extremely cool. i will go and buy him flowers and candy and movies and yeah it will be awesome and he will think "wow i have the best daughter in the entire world" instead of "oh. cool. annotherr coupon book." har har im so smart sometimes i amaze myself. yay colleen just called and shes DRIVING (!!yaycoolwhoohoo!) over to my house and we are gonna hang out and watch a movie or something. social contact!! yeesss! you know what i figured out? drinking tea makes you have to go pee! (hey that rhymes!!!) i just drank a glass of tea and im about to have an accidennntttt! bbbbyyyyyyyyyyyyeee!!!! |
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well sunriver was ok i guess. we won 3 out of the 4 of our basketball games. oh yeah and shaving cream/syrup/whipped cream/water/flour fights at 4 in the morning are pretty dang fun. almost as fun as making pankakes at 5 in the morning. whats not fun is coming back and hearing all the joyous times everybody had. i mean im totally being a hypocrite because i got mad at michael a while back for saying he didnt like hearing about it, and im not that mad, its just that feeling. the feeling when you know you missed out on something really fun. i should probably get used to it. i have basketball almost every weekend. but. it. still. hurts. i think i need to expand my horizons. spend time with different people for a change. i just need that. drivers ed starts tomorrow. wow is that gonna suck or what? im not sure if im even in the same class as jessica. and i have to wake up at like 7. god. shoot me now. atleast ill be free after like noon. i feel fat, sad, ugly and lazy. i havent gone for a run in forever. ive been eating nothing but junk all weekend. im really tired and i wont even start on my hair. and (once again) i havent done anything with my friends. |
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| Thursday, June 13th, 2002 |
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i could've slept in. i should've slept in. but did the heat ask me what i wanted? nooooo. it just decided to swoop right in and make my night miserable. seriously i had no blankets or sheets on my bed, my window was open, and i was still like sweating just lying there! it was so bad! im really mad because i needed the sleep and now im just hot and tired. that aside yesterday was pretty fun. it was awesome surprising colleen for her birthday and eating that delicious food. plus just lying around on the grass for like 4 hours was the best. my basketball game was ok but (heat again) the gym was about 150 degrees and i almost died. then last night i talked with daniel on the phone until almost 2, and that was sweet cuz i hadnt talked to him in a while! yay! anywho im out. lllaaaaterrrrr |
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| Wednesday, June 12th, 2002 |
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yeah i had a pretty fun evening. the whole group thing was fun but i must admit i had an excellent time with just kiera and jackie. i mean sometimes you need just a break to hang out with your close friends and gossip and stuff. it was so relaxing and awesome. we spent like 3 hours making this gorgeous cake for colleen made out of like dove and other types of excellent chocolate. it was like chocolate with a fudge layer in the middle and mint chocolate glaze on the top. then we brought it over to colleens and surprised her with it! i think she liked it yay! and oooooo was it TASTY!! we talked a lot and it made me think. all im saying is that last night i found out how important good friends are. have an awesome summer yall. ahhhhh im so happy i could cry! |
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| Monday, June 10th, 2002 |
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i just went out driving. and get this, jake took me. (dont worry its legal, hes over 21 haha) it was really neat that he went with me. he swore he'd never take me driving, but then he did!! it was sooo super sweet of him and he was really nice. also jake and i went outside and he taught me how to throw a frisbee well. i can throw it forehand and backhand now. haha so there tom! jakes been really nice lately. i think its maybe because he isnt all stressed n shit from school and lack of sleep. well whatever it is, i hope this new jake sticks around!! lalala ok i have nothing to write about. ive pretty much studied all i can for my math final tomorrow, i called daniel but he wasnt there, so i called michael and he couldnt talk or something. i would call jessica but i dont know how annoyed she is with me, also im afraid we will start bickering again. plus like i said earlier, seems like i always call her. oh well. all i can say is that school is over real soon and then i will be able to relax, see daniel, hang out with my friends, play basketball, and basically everything will be great! yay! |
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i was listening to speechwriters llc last night again and i just thought those were kinda cool lyrics. anyway so today sucked my ass. i have never taken a harder final in my life. i HATE my spanish teacher. with a passion. ok first of all, the test was 260 questions. it took up 3 friggen scan tron sheets. if that wasnt bad enough, it wasnt even his test! he used mr walkers test. so atleast half of it was stuff that we'd never even studied and vocab we've never seen before. i guessed on almost all of it. i was so mad i thought i was going to punch him. as i left i said "well thanks mr aerts, because of that test i dont have an A anymore." he just laughed and said that he was sure i did fine. whatever. bulllllll shiiiiiizzzzziiiiiittttt. besides that i guess the day was ok. everybody went downtown afterschool but it was kinda a thing where they organized it and when i came up to them they were like- oh yeah, you can come to. it feels like im not friends with anybody anymore. nobody calls me anymore, i do the calling. most of the time, the only reason i get included is because I call people and ask them what they are doing, not because they ever call me. to top that off jessica and i got into a kinda fight yesterday and then today she kinda just ignored me slighty. but whatever everythings falling to hell anyway, so why not my social life now too? |
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| Sunday, June 9th, 2002 |
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hahaha i just took some stupid quiz on "how good of a flirt" you were, and one of the questions was- what would make you stop flirting with a guy? and one of the options was- you touch the guy on the arm and he flinches. har har funny stuff |
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oh my FUCKING GOD!! FUCK LIVEJOURNAL! GOD IM GOING TO FUCKING HURT SOMEBODY!!!! i just typed like THE LONGEST entry i think ive ever writen and something fucking messed up and it deleted it!! god im gonna cry ive had the worst night ever. i already fucking wrote all about it to and now im gonna have to rewrite it all. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! ok first of all. my brother is an ass. he came up at about 11 something and just kicked me off the computer. he told me that he was just gonna be quick and (i quote this) "ill be done by the time you are out of the shower" well i took my shower, got out and low and behold he was still on the computer. i didnt want to be annoying so i left and didnt yell at him. 30 minutes later i went back in and politely asked him "when he would be done". he said 15 minutes. 45 minutes later jake comes downstairs and tell me its free. ugh i was about to punch him. i was in the middle of 2 pretty important convos at the time and now nobody is online. its fucking 1 am right now. all i wanted to do was have a nice conversation with my friends because i have had zero social life this weekend. (hmmm lets guess why, ill give you one try, BASKETBALL!! ding ding ding we have a winner) but nooooo he just has to go and ruin that. tomorrows out of the questopm, i have basketball and then i have to study for finals. fuck this. i had a nice conversation with thorn tonight. that was like the highlight of my evening, honestly. how sad is that? oh yeah today i got a new skirt, top, and strapless bra (yes i know you really wanted to know that.) i cant wait to wear them to school. ugh but when its school that means its finals which means stress. god every thought has to make me think of something annoying. you know what else i hate? regular modems. they can suck it. seriously, i cant download any songs in under an hour, and when i do download one it makes everything else go slower than a snails pace. UGH. jessicas down with caleb. i officially have nobody to talk to or anything. wait maddy just imed me. haha. silly girl that maddy. maybe ill just wait up and see if jackie and brendan get back from their orgy. (im tellin you they are gonna get raped, it was a DUMB DUMB idea to go) haha im like paranoid something is going to happen again and delete this entry. i keep copying it just in case. ok id better update it before anything bad happens. |
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| Friday, June 7th, 2002 |
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yeah so i conformed. i caved into peer pressure. i took the quiz. har. har. 17 I act like I'm 17. well thats cool yo. xs2jackie: do you still like him a lot? bballhannie30: yeah har har guess the magic person! i doubt many of ya will get this. well maybe, who knows. had a basketball game tonight, won. that was cool. i played like crap but hit a couple of clutch shots toward the end. its sad because lauren, and 8th grader, basically won the game for us. ugh. i wont back down. i wont play like shit. tomorrow morning we are playing jesuit and im going to have the game of my life. so there. |
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| Thursday, June 6th, 2002 |
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i just got a call from my mom who said her aunt just died. she was there holding her hand when it happened. she said that she asked her if she was having trouble breathing, and aunty duval squeezed her hand. my mom told her- "every breath you have now is for you, everybody you love is here and you just keep breathing until you decide you want to go be with uncle leonard in heaven." and then she just died. i barely even knew her and im crying. |
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im suposed to be studying. but my mom isnt home yet. im so lazy, it drives me nuts. i have like the worst work ethic ever. i really need to be studying for my french final tomorrow, because i have a like a 91 or something. but am i studing? no. i. am. not. somebody needs to slap me so i can face reality. besides french ive got a math and spanish final that are extremely important also. rar. i dont know what reminded me of this, but in global studies we are watching a movie about brazil and mandela and they show this guy being tortured by like being shocked and beaten and it just disgusted me. i dont understand people sometimes. i just dont understand. on a happier note, i was looking through sports illustrated today and i saw a picture of this super hot baseball player. i think his name was like aaron hathaway or something. hot stuff. anyway im going to go study some. (ill probably end up just going downstairs and eating and doing useless nothings, but hey, think positive right?) |
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| Sunday, June 2nd, 2002 |
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PRAY FOR THE KINGS!! THEY NEED THE BIG WIN AGAINST LA TODAY!! im mad i only getta watch like 30 minutes of the game because im going to calebs graduation. i love him and all but i wish that it wasnt soo damn long. this will be the 5th graduation i have attended. thats gotta be atleast, what, a DAY of my life wasted? har har im so sweet. im sore everywhere. my arms are aching and i have little bruises all over them and floor burns on my knees. it looks like my parents beat me. ha. ha. ha. NOT had two more games this morning. they wouldve been pretty fun if i werent so damn sore. we had to play jesuit (like 3rd in state) beaverton (2nd in state) and glenco (6th in state) to name a few. we lost em all cept one (that was agains vernonia HAHA) but they were all pretty close so its all good. well im gonna go catch the beginning of the game. |
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LiveJournal for Hannah.
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blah.
accomplished.
ecstatic.
annoyed.
bored.
guilty.
sad.
hot.
pleased.
angry.
quixotic.