Schroedinger's Kat

Time:

01:20 pm

Man, I swear... on the days I go out with the specific purpose of finding people to hang out with, I can never seem to run into anybody. But on those rare times when I actually have something to do and/or time constraints, I manage to find plenty of people. I went to Livingstone's on my lunch break and saw

gynocide and

selfamused just as I was leaving to head back to work, then I saw Malcolm and Brian as I was driving up Maroa and stopped just long enough to say hello. Gosh darn my luck sometimes.

And because I've been thinking about it lately... here's a ~~phat~~ fat poll!

Poll #90757 pudgy wudgy
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

First off, what's your gender?

View Answers

Male
24 (41.4%)

Female
34 (58.6%)

Do you believe (honestly) that you need to lose weight?

View Answers

Hell no, I need to GAIN weight!
4 (6.9%)

Nah, I love being skinny.
8 (13.8%)

I'm healthy but definitely not overweight, so no.
9 (15.5%)

I could stand to drop a few pounds, maybe 5-10.
11 (19.0%)

More like 20-30.
13 (22.4%)

Or maybe more like 40-60...
8 (13.8%)

I need to lose a whole freakin' lot, probably closer to 100 pounds.
3 (5.2%)

You could make two out of me and we'd still be fat!
2 (3.4%)

What methods have caused you to successfully lose weight before?

View Answers

Just your basic cut-down-on-food and be-more-active.
24 (47.1%)

Serious dieting.
7 (13.7%)

Going to gyms or learning martial arts.
12 (23.5%)

More sex! Woohoo!
10 (19.6%)

Going vegetarian/vegan.
10 (19.6%)

Self-starvation, purging, laxatives, or some other BAD BAD method.
8 (15.7%)

Jogging or bike riding.
5 (9.8%)

Playing DDR, of course!
3 (5.9%)

Other (leave in comments, if you please)
10 (19.6%)

comments: 9 comments or Leave a comment

Current Music:	furious angels will bring you back to me
Time:	08:35 am

I was thinking about getting a tattoo of this right on my belly:

I probably won't, though. Can't imagine still wanting it when I'm 60...

It's raining today. Makes me wish I hadn't left my umbrella in Portland. I wonder whatever happened to that thing.

Does anyone else think there's something horribly wrong with a pop-up window that advertising a pop-up eliminator?

( And I really like these lyrics... )

I think we might go check out The Dance tonight (what is currently the place that used to be The Express, wow that's some awful grammar I just used). It's been too long since I've gone dancing. And I know I look like a fool doing it: fat white girl in the hizzouse. But it makes me happy in a way that few things do.

Oh, and I *finally* saw Reservoir Dogs last night. Hard to watch, but a pretty good film nonetheless. Then again, I'm predisposed to liking movies that end like that. And I think Steve Buscemi is a demi-god. I was talking to someone about how it would be the scariest thing in the world to make an army of pissed off Steve Buscemi clones. Anyhow. Why the hell was it called Reservoir Dogs anyway?

Anyone doing anything cool this weekend?

comments: 7 comments or Leave a comment

Time:

01:53 am

Now I remember: I was going to post about the dream I had last night. It's really rare for me to remember my dreams these days, and even when I do it's usually just one moment or scene that sticks with me.

I was in this health food store, but it was also a new-age/magic sort of store. They had lots of dried fruits and candies that were free to sample. I guess this was "the place to hang out", at least in my dreamworld, so I'd been there for a while, sampling everything. Mischa came into the store and she was blind, which for some reason didn't shock me very much. She said that she'd just come in to pick up a box of lemon-flavored coconut slices (I can't help but wonder what that would taste like). Lots of other familiar people would stop by all day long, and I would help them find what they wanted (never mind the fact that I'm certain I didn't work there).

Anyway. Erm. Thanks for the jokes yesterday, everyone. My co-workers were wondering why I was giggling.

And happy doubledouble wishy wishes to

aryx and

sogi.

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January 8th, 2003

Time:

09:32 am

I sure feel braindead this morning. Buffy was disappointing last night. I discovered the joy that is Domino's Dots. Now I just feel fat. I'm wearing lipstick today. I get to go motherboard shopping for my parent's puter tonight. In the quiet moments, I still feel the resonant vibrations of psychic violence from the past. And I can't stop dwelling on Justin's death, even though I hadn't really thought about him in years. I guess that's the effect of never having someone who was actually close to me pass away. If I have any connection at all with the deceased, it stays with me. I'm too sensitive for my own good.

Like in 7th grade at Computech... there was this girl named Andrea who always used to pick on me. She dressed like a grunge rocker (this was, after all, 1994) and she had a high school boyfriend. Then, one Friday night, she shot herself. My best friend came to me the following Monday, right after we found out what had happened, and told me that Andrea had gone to her during the day on Friday and told her to give me her apologies for being such a bitch. Then again, I suppose my friend might have made this up just to be sappy. Still, I held onto her obituary for years.

And then in high school, when Julie was killed in a car accident, I went to the memorial service they held in the Little Theater at Roosevelt and bawled like a baby, even though I'd never actually had a conversation with the girl.

And there was Robert's little brother who wasn't looking where he was going while playing soccer. And that Asian girl who hung herself, I think her name was Mei, the one with the limp. And, of course, all the gang-related crap that went down in and around the high school.

Half the time I start crying if any of you talk about someone dying, even if I've never even met you. Shit, man, the person doesn't even have to be real. I had trouble sleeping after the episode of Buffy where Tara was shot. It makes me wonder what's going to happen to me when someone close to me does die. Like my grandmother, who just turned 90. Or my kitty, who has leukemia and probably not much time left.

Shit, I gotta stop dwelling on these things so early in the morning.

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January 7th, 2003

Subject:	Drugs are bad, mmkay?
Time:	02:05 pm

From News of the Weird...

In November, Jason Morris, 30, was acquitted by a jury in Greater Manchester, England, of the charge that, using ordinary pliers, he pulled out 18 of his girlfriend's teeth, leaving her covered head to toe in blood. The case turned when the girlfriend, Samantha Court, 25, took the witness stand and admitted that she pulled the teeth out herself, during an April drug binge during which she tried to get rid of a green and pink fly that had darted down her throat. Court said the couple has decided to stop doing drugs. [The Guardian, 11-23-02]

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January 6th, 2003

Time:

03:31 pm

Yet another accident just happened on Dakota outside my building. If you're bored and feel like reading about it (by no means mandatory, there will not be a quiz later):

Guy in a white pickup was driving west down Dakota. Between Fresno and Blackstone, there's a little side street called Diana. A woman in a white Saturn was driving south on Diana towards Dakota and turned right, apparently going fast enough to hit the back side of the white pickup, causing it to go into a spin and flipping onto its side. The guy wasn't hurt, and the girl sped away, although I guess the crash caused her license plate to fall off and get picked up by a cop, sealing her fate.

What was this girl's problem, anyway?

Happy birthday to

elvenwolfcub, before I forget to spread the wishies.

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Subject:	Or maybe she's just crazy...
Time:	10:05 am

You ever see a sign or name every so often and it always gets a certain song stuck in your head?

Maybe that's unclear, here's an example:

There's a sign on a door at my work that says "Home Services Clinical Clerical" and it always gets Supertramp running through my head, as in... "When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle, oh it was clinical clerical..."

Or, we once had a patient whose first name was Colita and every time I saw her name I started thinking of Hotel California.

Yeah, this really is the best shit I can come up with to talk about this morning. It's freakin' Monday. School starts in a week. Yeah.

Yay for Ambi having email at work and keeping me amused throughout the course of the day. :)

comments: 7 comments or Leave a comment

January 3rd, 2003

January 2nd, 2003

Time:

01:09 pm

I went down and paid for my classes at FCC, so I guess it's all done and official. Part 1 of my Fat-Ass List of New Year's Resolutions is slightly closer to being complete. Now to work on that smoking thing...

Eh, fuck it, here's a poll for all y'all.

Poll #88470 S.O.s and L.J.s
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

Do you have a significant other?

View Answers

Yep, and I love it.
19 (47.5%)

Yep, and I hate it. (D'oh.)
0 (0.0%)

No, but I want one.
13 (32.5%)

No, but I don't want one.
8 (20.0%)

If you answered yes, does that person have a LiveJournal?

View Answers

Yep, we share one.
1 (4.0%)

Yep, he/she has their own.
17 (68.0%)

No, but he/she knows that I have one and it's all cool.
3 (12.0%)

No, and he/she doesn't know I have one. (Shhhh!)
4 (16.0%)

Have you ever had problems caused by people reading posts they weren't supposed to see?

View Answers

Yeah, I gots in big trouble. *hides*
4 (10.0%)

Yeah, it's their fault for invading my space.
12 (30.0%)

No, I don't post too much about my personal life.
5 (12.5%)

No, I've lucked out so far.
6 (15.0%)

I am an open book! *rips off clothes*
13 (32.5%)

I've been re-watching The Maxx lately. God, that series is such genius. I always want to give Sara a hug (not that it would help anything) and Julie is just so frickin' sexy, especially as the Leopard Queen.

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December 31st, 2002

Current Mood:	frustrated
Time:	09:21 am

Okay, geek-type-people, I need some help here. My parents have put me in charge of fixing their computer, in an attempt to avoid the nasty prices of professional puter-fixers.

Here's the sitch:
Their computer is about 3 years old, a Pentium III 733 MHz running Windows 98. A couple of weeks ago, they started having a problem where the computer would spontaneously turn off and restart itself. The problem continued getting worse until it started doing it every time Windows starts up, making their computer basically unusable.

The funny thing is, it doesn't restart when you boot up in safe mode or off a disk. Because of this, I thought it might be a software thing and I reformatted and reinstalled Windows. And it's STILL doing it. Then we thought it might be the power supply, so we switched it out with one that works and it's STILL doing it. The next thing we're gonna try is putting XP on it and see if that helps. Also, I noticed that the restarting thing always happens after you move the mouse or hit a key on the keyboard for the first time. If you just let it sit there, it won't restart, but as soon as you try to do something.... Wham. Uggh.

Does anyone have any idea what the problem here could be??

comments: 14 comments or Leave a comment

December 30th, 2002

Time:

01:05 pm

Gather 'round, Miss Kat is going to tell a brief yet pointless short story.

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Katie who was 8 years old. She didn't have many friends at school, but she would watch the boys chase the girls and the girls chase the boys, back and forth, all through recess. One day, she noticed a boy who was chasing other little boys, but the other boys weren't playing along. The boy's name, she remembered from the class picture, was Justin. "Hmm," she thought to herself, "that boy has no friends, maybe I should chase him!"

She chased him all around the playground and he helped her build a sandcastle and Katie decided that they were meant for each other. She planned a wedding, bought a cheap candy ring, enlisted all the girls to play along, bridesmaids and maids of honor and flower girls (she even got a little girl named Trinette to play the priest). She wrote all about it in her diary. She wore her prettist pink Sunday dress to school and bit her nails in anticipation for lunch recess, when she would be forever united with this boy.

Justin, however, was not so compliant. He ran off on skinny legs, chased by a band of angry little girls wearing dresses and funny paper hats, and hid in the Boy's Bathroom. After that day, he didn't help her make sandcastles anymore.

It took her years to understand what the problem had been, until she ran into him in high school with his boyfriend. "At least he's the only one I've turned," Katie thought to herself, except at that time she was having people call her Katherine, and then remembered that she hadn't turned him anything. He had been chasing the little boys from the start.

On a cloudy December morning a few years after that, when Katherine had become Kat, she got a phone call from her father, who had caught his name in the newspaper. Justin had died on Christmas Eve, her father said, although they had not yet reported the cause of death. "Yet another puzzle piece fades to black," she thought to herself, "another thread snapped in the space between who I am and why I became that way."

RIP Justin Kissel, 1981-2002

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December 27th, 2002

Time:

03:48 pm

The world seems to stop spinning between 3:30 and 5:00pm. People stop posting, and I haven't been able to pin down why. Even my friendsfriends page has nothing new to offer. It's kind of funny to me that I spend more time doing nothing online now than I did when I was job-free, school-free, responsibility-free. More time wearily hitting F5 and looking through journals of people halfway across the world who have nothing in common with me. More time writing fragmented sentences and at the same time throwing internal fits about the poor grammar of others.

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December 26th, 2002

Current Music:	Bjork - Joga
Current Mood:	hungry
Time:	01:24 pm

This is how my New Year festivites have gone the last few years:

New Year's '99 - Spent in a hotel room here in Fresno with

levi_adams_live and my friend Joel and his girlfriend and cousin. Drank Bacardi 151, people got sick, Joel's cousin insisted on hitting on me, walked to convenience store to buy candy in the middle of the night.

New Year's '00 - Spent in the middle of downtown San Francisco, drinking wine and smoking pot as cops looked on approvingly. Got stranded around 3am until we were picked up by a miracle van.

New Year's '01 - Spent in a gay 18+ club in Portland watching my boyfriend get eyed by more men than I was. Walked home through the freeze hepped up on ephedra.

New Year's '02 - Spent at a cabin near Huntington Lake underneath 7 feet of snow. Drank champagne around a bonfire, took three quick shots of Tuaca immediately before midnight, stayed up until the next morning.

New Year's '03 - Not sure yet. No resources to leave town, no prospects for particularly fun things to do in town. I'll probably end up at Livingstone's, so anyone else who can't find anything to do should call me and maybe we can make something happen.

comments: 19 comments or Leave a comment

January 10th, 2003

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