| [ |
mood |
| |
I don't know |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Sparta - Vacant Skies |
] |
So I just returned from my weekday excursion to Long Island with my lady friend and it was fuuuuuuuuun. We went to go see Sparta, Dashboard and Weezer at Jones Beach. Technically, Tommy Hilfiger at Jones Beach Ampitheatre. Sparta rocked it really hard and I was kinda pissed to see tons of people sitting closer than I that were just talking or not paying attention or just not there period when a really good show was happening. No wonder the singer had to keep saying "Thanks for being nice". Anyways that was pretty good, then Dashboard almost reversed the good that came our way by bringing his arsenal of ear splitting noise to the stage. I seriously made jokes the whole time. I mean yes the guy has a very above average voice and he did one amazing long note that was impressive, but still I think his career has gone downhill since he started Dashboard, now his stuff is so poppy its puke-a-licious. The highlight of the night was when the man in question tried to swing his guitar around his neck in a crafty attempt at looking cool, only to have his ax's strap come flying off and the guitar go flying to the ground. So much for a last hurrah, huh? Anyways, after the Big Cute Dork finished, Weezer played and surprised me. After the Rolling Stone article, I've gained a lot of respect for Rivers Cuomo as a musician and he's a pretty funny guy onstage. The set was surprisingly really good and overall the show was a blast. Plus I got to see it with my deer and that was the best.
LA Nav 8 4 (12:08 AM): so hah, looks like we're windin down ur life in da 'cuse...how many weeks left?
CoRInosBlondxPAC (12:08 AM): i dont know, counting would scare me
^This is how I feel right now
I'm in such a weird mood right now. I had such a fun time on the trip with the princess and Bones and Ewen and at the same time I couldn't help realizing that my days here are numbered. I wish I could relive this summer forever so I could spend more time with my real friends because for once I learned to see through the layers upon layers of mist. I went into CBA with 0 friends at school and I can't say I've left with many more, but at least I learned the lessons about friends. That being, some people are only there to be temporary friends and then they'll ditch you later, some people are only situational friends who are nice to you at some place (work/school) but are gone once you leave the sphere of influence, some are recurring, who pop up every once in a while and your closeness weaves in and out, some are real friends who you could actually count on. There are prolly more classifications, but I've seen people cross over so many times it's sick. I could've sworn some would be in the 4th category but most have failed me and I'm that much more thankful for those that are left. And I'd also like to relive the summer over and over for the vast number of special moments that shall remain nameless and unknown to all but one. Well, two counting me. I've learned so so so much in that regard in the time spent and I dunno, I've grown to be so accustomed to everything that I can't even imagine what it would be like without that in my life. It'd be like ripping a hammer through my chest right now, I'm sure I'd cry but that just wouldn't do justice. It's like... you strive all your young life to define your ideals and then compromise when you realize that idealism is impossible unless you compromise it. But there are still the ideals there that have always remained so, and for once in your life you've hit something rock hard that's so eerily reminiscent of the untouchable expectations that you're just awestruck by it's presence. And now it's almost time that I have to leave, in some capacity, through some path of time or space. I'm so frickin happy and at the same time I know it could come crashing down in a matter of days. I'd rather just replay the days I've got rather than lose it and crumble.
But on the other hand I have no idea what's in the future. None of my worst fears are certain to go through yet. There's a 50/50 chance maybe, but all I can do is hope for the best. A couple movies have shed some light on this subject lately and I guess with all the aforementioned in mind, I just want to keep moving because if it all goes my way it could only get better. If we ran on repeat wouldn't it just be torture, realizing we could never do some things. I sure as hell don't know where this life will lead me all I know is where my passion, my love, and my friendships are right now at this very moment in time and they're all very vivid in my mind. By the time you read this things will inevitably have changed, but I have such strong feelings right now I feel I might explode. Youth brings passion and virility, but the uncertainty and instability can be damn hard sometimes.
On an unrelated note I got into a good conversation tonight about what it's like in the interim period between finishing high school and college. It's not always the "party all summer" scene that's painted for you...
"we're all having a ton of problems right now figuring out why life has gone to hell since school ended cause we all miss the connections, no matter how small, that we had with everyone, it made us feel good. we're all moving away in some capacity, and we've lost so many small connections that we didn't think we'd miss, and it feels like you've lost a lot and you're alone. but the thing is, we're all having the same problems, and we're all too afraid to call each other, so it's not gonna change, no matter how much we complain, no matter how many threats we have. cba's history, and so is a lot of our lives, it's not gonna be the same, this is the scary interim and theres no reason for drama, its just gonna hurt for a while but when school starts we'll all settle and be fine. ive just seen it before, ive had the bottom drop out, ive seen worse days, i know things are not bad at all right now, were just all getting ready."
Anyways thanks again to all my friends and my girl for being there. I'm off for my 3rd trip in 2 weeks, I've been busy but happy. The time flies but at least I've smiled a lot. I'll remember every breath, every joke, every laugh, every tickle, etc. If you're reading this far it's probably time to click off?
|
tired
annoyed
content
blah
dorky
accomplished