| image |
[26 Apr 2003|12:47pm] |
i am looking forward to spending some time with reive and learning about make-up. i have such an *odd* face, there are things about it that i would change, if i but had the gumption and the money.
there is a woman that i work with who is on a first name basis with her plastic surgeon. he is pushing her to get botox. i shudder at the thought. the fact that her boyfriend is willing to pay for all of it makes it even scarier.
i need a good diet that i can actually stick to. and a week in nyc is not condusive to that. maybe the diet will start when i get back.
sigh.
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| nyc, here i come |
[26 Apr 2003|10:38am] |
with 2 tag-a-longs.
we shall be hitting nyc on may 5th, probably about 4 or 5 (reive, i'll call before we head for the train with an eta to grand central). after i show the boys grand central, we'll cab it over to reive's where we will finally meet megan and tsarina.
we'll be leaving in the morning of may 10th (mostly b/c we have to get back out to briarcliff).
i have one appointment that will last a few hours on the 7th, and that is it.
anyone interested?
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| photog scaryness |
[25 Apr 2003|06:48pm] |
ever hear of tina foster? she was a girl that i knew that was murdered by a man claiming to be a photographer.
so when someone wanted to schedule a shoot and i asked for referals and don't hear back, i get a little freaked, you know?
oh, and that reminds me, i'm now officially at www.onemodelplace.com, model # 31714, for those of you that have never seen me with hair.
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| we are at war |
[18 Mar 2003|12:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 scared |
] |
and i am afraid.
there are so many people who are dear to me that i fear for. al of my loved ones in large cities that could become targets (again)...
my dear friends still in the military:
k. a combat medic
m. a green beret
s. special forces
d. arabic interrogator
b. newly married and intel
a. intel
....and others that i can't even begin to be able to list.
war is fear. and i have to remember not to let is take over, not to let it control me. and when i need to i repeat:
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
i will not let my fear replace my humanity and my compassion. and i hope and pray that the fear will let go of the people that it has already overtaken, that they will wake up to their own humanity and compassion.
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| mostly for sykii |
[02 Mar 2003|01:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
but also posted for anyone that loves the dragon riders of pern and the cover art of michael welan
www.styleschecks.com
beautiful dragons on your checks...
i would buy them myself, but i recently got the universal monsters checks, so i can't indulge again quite so soon...
so enjoy
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| road trip |
[13 Feb 2003|08:45am] |
| [ |
mood |
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bouncy |
] |
road trips are so much more fun when you have a goal...
with that in mind i am headed to richmond, va w/ g. where we will meet graene & her husband and then off to see...get this...
voltaire!
i'm all excited and he's going to try and have dinner with us....
yay for road trips and wandering musicians!
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[07 Feb 2003|12:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 silly |
] |
| [ |
music |
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ani di franco - when doves cry |
] |
on the 26th of january i was a model in a bridal show here in roanoke. the dresses were fabulous and the designer amazing. she was very surprised that i fit into some of the things that were made for a manequin (yay for a little ribcage).
anyway, the time was fun, though the shoes were uncomfortable, and i got to meet a photographer. he's very cool and not too terribly bad, lot's of portrait work but is branching out. he called at the begining of the week to ask me to do some test shoots with him. 2 of the girls who also modeled for patsy (the designer) get their pictures taken by him, though they are paying for them. i made it clear that i am not interested in paying for the picyures and he was actually very cool with it.
g. went with me the last time (for the test shoot) and they got along rather well (photog boy let g. use his camera and take pics, which i found rather amazing). photog boy mentioned that there is a workshop in nyc coming up in march and wanted to know if i wanted to go.
who knows? maybe i shall see my beloved darlings in nyc earlier than may.
i'll post pics when i get them. though, he put me in heavy ice blue eyeshadow (shudder).
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[03 Feb 2003|10:12am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sad |
] |
i watching reruns of e.r and trying not to think too hard. i kept saying yesterday that the columbia might do to the program what the challenger did oh so many years ago...just about 20, now...
and i hope and pray that the program survives and recovers quicker than they did last time
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| as of yesterday |
[31 Jan 2003|09:24am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 excited |
] |
i am 27.
g. sent me beautiful roses at work.
work now has a corporate rate at a very nice gym.
and my resolution to be fitter is on it's way.
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| new york |
[08 Jan 2003|09:52am] |
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i think that g., t. and i will be in nyc the first week of may....
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| live from new york... |
[29 Dec 2002|03:05pm] |
is the name of the book that i bought w/ my christmas gift certificates from g. it's about saturday night live, from the begining, from the people that were there, including lorne michaels, bill murray and even judith belushi (john belushi's widow).
it's beautiful and manic and sweet and sad...they talk about and to everyone excpt eddie murphy (he refuses to talk to *anyone* about snl).
i very rarely read books like this but i've wanted it since i first heard about it on national public radio. if you have the time, it's an amazing read.
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| reflections |
[29 Dec 2002|10:19am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
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jill sobule - good person inside |
] |
my house is reflecting my mood right now. i'm a mess. but i don't mind it. sometimes it's *good* to be a mess, to let it all come out and then to later put it away, carefully and precisely. this way i can look at them closely and decide which parts of me need to change, which need to stay, which need to go.
these are the times that i enjoy, when my life is quiet enough that i have these moments.
it is almost the new year, and though i rarely make new year resolutions, i think that i will this year:
learn to quilt
learn to bake
learn to keep my bills at bay
i have no idea what g. will be resoluting, but that is something we will talk about this week.
happy new years...
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| things |
[28 Dec 2002|09:44am] |
| [ |
music |
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killing me softly with his song -- roberta flack |
] |
even though i know that this whole deal is not supposed to be about things, it is.
in that note, gary and i got:
***from his parents and grandparents)
a dvd player
a bread machine
a fondue set (electric, no less)
a really nifty dominoe set (can i just say that we won't play
it until the cats are no longer kittens?)
from mine? nothing that really says anything. i know that they helped me get my car and this place, but i'm not asking for them to buy something incredibly expensive, just something that is little and nifty, not a kitchen mat or a welsome mat. and maybe be a little more pleased about the things that we got them, things that we really thought about...but this is nver going to happen and i have to live with it.
i got a lovely little purfume bottle from reive and have hidden it from the little monsters.
i hope that the gifts i chose were actually wanted and will be used.
anyway...belated merry x-mas and a happy new year.
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| family |
[24 Dec 2002|09:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 drained |
] |
sometimes i hate the word.
my mother was here last friday and proceeded to tell me how good my growing up was compared to other people. and how much my parents supported me.
joke.
anyone who knows me knows that this is a blatant lie. the days that i wished that i would die in my sleep...or that she would...
and she wraps this up in a big bow and presents it like a prize that i have won from a carnival game.
how do i react?
with a lie, since i consider glossing over it a lie. but i choose not to fight in my own home, on my day off, with someone i do not respect and who does not deserve enough of me to try to make her see the truth.
we did begin to fight as she, for no real reason, brought up my father's cousin who is gay. she and her partner have a child and are happy. this is a good thing in my eyes. my mother, and i hate to associate a word that i one hope to be called with her, think that it's a crime, on par with murder. and then had the gall to accuse me or sub-coming to propiganda...
and now i have to see her at 2pm tomorrow.
sometimes i hate the holidays.
*as a note, mostly i'm actually verbalizing b/c i had a couple or so glasses of a very nice wine that has loosened my tongue and fingers a little more than they should
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| even though it's 6:00 am |
[12 Dec 2002|06:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 chipper |
] |
i am in a fairly good mood.
i got the promotion at work and will be starting on sunday night.
i've been asked to model at a huge bridal show. the designer (who is amazing) wants to do a dress to show the tattoos on my back.
and the shao-lin monks are coming to roanoke.
right now life is good.
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[01 Dec 2002|12:05pm] |
i am feeling pensive and blah at the same time.
trying to pay my bills and do christmas to some degree is draining. g. and i both are working 2 jobs and it's starting to be hard on us, but the extra money is good.
i currently am working part time (seasonally) in a fabric store. which is nice. i bought 2 yards each of a deep green and a grey fleece with wich to make loungy pants for me and g. this is my present to myself this year. i also picked up 3 yards of a cream fleece to use as a blanket since it doesn't need to be hemmed.
i am already thinking of the new year and resolutions. i think that one that i will make it that i want to learn how to quilt. i will more than likely be getting a sewing machine for my birthday in january, so i am very excited.
the babies are doing well. they are rambunctios and sometimes destructive, but what else can you expect from a pair of 5 month old kittens?
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| late |
[17 Nov 2002|01:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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excited |
] |
i should have posted this a while back, but the tests came back negative, so that's good in a way. i think that i'm going to have to have some more done to keep narrowing the field, you know?
i get to start my allergy shots again (not really looking forward to this).
the bug big news for the week is that we (the boy, t. and 2 other friends) are going snowboarding this coming weekend...so excited...
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| for those of you that have been tuning in |
[29 Oct 2002|07:39am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hungry |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the ball w/ the bell cat toy |
] |
the scopes went well. they stretched my esophagus. they did some biopsies to be safe (though the doc said everything looked fine).
thanks for all the well wishes. i'll post the results when i get them.
now i need to eat something.
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| today |
[28 Oct 2002|09:32am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 indescribable |
] |
at 12 noon i have to go to the hospital and get prepped for major unpleasantness. i'm having an endoscopy and a colonoscopy this afternoon starting at 1:30. it is at my old hated job and i am not pleased, though the hospital is a really good one.
i have not had solid food since 9:00pm saturday night.
and i must go and have 2 enemas in an hour.
sigh
at least i have tomorrow off.
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[26 Oct 2002|07:16am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sore |
] |
i think that i threw out my back in august and once in a while since then it twinges up and hurts like hell. so i finally went to a chiropractor yesterday and he took a lot of xrays and i have another appointment on tuesday for an adjustment.
then perhaps i will go get a massasge from my friend who is a massage therapist and knows my back problems.
it's early and i'm awake only b/c finn decided that everyone needed to be up at 6am to play with him.
sigh
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