Thursday, March 14th, 2002

Subject: Back "home" Time: 12:10 pm. Mood: content. Music: Robbie Williams - Straighten Up and Fly Right.

Well, I didn't get to do everything I wanted during my trip home, plus I got sick. I did get my hair cut, see some folks and take home a lot of good stuff, so I realy can't complain. I'm convinced that airplanes are germ factories, however...almost every time I've flown I have developed some terrible, flu-like illness afterwards. I guess stale air + unwashed masses = disease. Maybe I should wear a surgical mask a'la Michael Jackson next time I fly...then again, it probably wouldn't look as good on me since he wears FAR more eye makeup than I do. My hair doesn't look dramatically different: I had an inch taken off the back and some short layers added next to my face - it's like having bangs that are in the growing-out stage. At least it looks healthy now that the dead, scraggly ends have been cut off. It's all black for now, but I'm considering some blue highlights. I'll try to post a picture soon. I've decided to keep the cat - we named her Gaz and she's so cute ! She plays fetch with me (I have NEVER seen a cat do that before) and likes to sleep in my lap when I'm sitting on the couch. I'm not telling the landlord, either, because with all the shit my neighbors are getting away with, all the thefts that have occured here (clothes from the laundry room and a car from the lot)and the STABBING that took place this weekend she should NOT be concerned with a tiny, well-behaved cat ! Besides, I really didn't have much choice since she showed up on my doorstep, starving. More later, I just wanted to let everyone know I'm still alive :)

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Subject: Back "home" Time: 11:51 am. Mood: content. Music: Robbie Williams - Straighten Up and Fly Right.

Well, I didn't get to do everything I wanted during my trip home, plus I got sick. I did get my hair cut, see some folks and take home a lot of good stuff, so I realy can't complain. I'm convinced that airplanes are germ factories, however...almost every time I've flown I have developed some terrible, flu-like illness afterwards. I guess stale air + unwashed masses = equals disease. Maybe I should wear a surgical mask a'la Michael Jackson next time I fly...then again, it probably wouldn't look as good on me since he wears FAR more eye makeup than I do. My hair doesn't look dramatically different: I had an inch taken off the back and some short layers added next to my face - it's like having bangs that are in the growing-out stage. At least it looks healthy now that the dead, scraggly ends have been cut off. It's all black for now, but I'm considering some blue highlights. I'll try to post a picture soon. I've decided to keep the cat - we named her Gaz and she's so cute ! She plays fetch with me (I have NEVER seen a cat do that before) and likes to sleep in my lap when I'm sitting on the couch. I'm not telling the landlord, either, because with all the shit my neighbors are getting away with, all the thefts that have occured here (clothes from the laundry room and a car from the lot)and the STABBING that took place this weekend she should NOT be concerned with a tiny, well-behaved cat ! Besides, I really didn't have much choice since she showed up on my doorstep, starving. More later, I just wanted to let everyone know I'm still alive :)

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Subject: I'm a mom (sort of) ! Time: 2:59 am. Mood: sleepy. Music: Some Hitler crap on the History Channel.

I am sitting here at 2:15 a.m. with a cat in my lap...no, I didn't go out and get one, one found ME. Sky is pulling 24 hour guard duty tonight, so I settled in for an evening alone. Around 7:00 I hear this really loud meowing outside - I know it's not Stripes (the neighbor's cat) because it sounds different. I look outside and see a small black cat at the bottom of the steps. I bring it inside and call Cassandra to borrow some cat food. While I'm on the phone the cat starts eating what's left of my Lean Cuisine (cheese ravioli w/ vegetables) - the poor thing is so hungry he's sucking down zuccini like there's no tomorrow. Anyhoo, I got some food and Cassandra even had a spare litterbox, so the cat is all set. It's a female, about 4 months or so...other than being skinny, a bit dirty and having a slightly chewed-up ear she seems fine. In fact, she's super affectionate - she follows me everywhere and will not leave me alone ! When I'm siting she's in my lap, when I lay down she's rubbing her face on mine, hell, she even follows me to the bathroom. Now comes the tricky part... I don't know if I can keep her. The landlord wouldn't take kindly to an illegal pet. Cats require a non-refundable $200 deposit and an additional pet rent of $15 every month. Plus, they must be spayed/neutered (which I'm all for) and declawed (which I don't really believe in except as a last resort). To complicate things further, I'm going back home for a few days and I'm leaving this thursday - I don't think leaving a kitten alone all day is a good idea, plus Sky is going to have a hard enough time fending for himself let alone take care of a cat. And did I mention Sky doesn't know yet ? He called just before I found the cat - talk about bad timing ! He won't be mad or anything (I'm sure he would have done the same if he had been in my shoes) but he certainly will be surprised when he comes home this morning :) I guess I can take the kitty to the shelter (it's no-kill, thank goodness)if all else fails. Cassandra and Phillip have been there and know the people who run it and they said it was a nice, reputable place. This cat is so sweet and she'd make a fantastic pet for someone. Still, I'm wondering if it's meant to be that I should keep the cat...it's just so odd that she shows up practically at my door and bonds with me instantly. I just don't know... Anyway, I am taking a short trip home - I'm getting my hair cut, doing some family stuff and squeezing in whatever else I can in a few days. I won't have time for everyone, so I hope they all understand. I'm not looking forward to flying - I already feel the butterflies in my stomach. Me and Sky were so wrapped up in watching Olympic hockey that I think we're both going to suffer withdrawl now that it's over. Back to watching whatever suck-ass Pens game we can get down here, I guess. And may I congratulate my team TEAM CANADA on the asskicking they gave the US on sunday - yay ! Look, I'm as patriotic as the next person, but I generaly hate American athletes as I find them arrogant and obnoxious and the US hockey team was the worst example of this. Wonder if they trashed their hotel rooms like they did in '98 when they lost ? Idiots. Anyway, it's nice to see Canadians get patriotic for a change - they should do it more often. And it was VERY nice to see Mario Lemieux win a gold medal :) Well, I think that's everything...let's see: stray cat, trip home, hockey rants...yep, I think that's it. More tomorrow once this whole surreal day has come to an end.

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Subject: I'm a mom (sort of) ! Time: 2:59 am. Mood: sleepy. Music: Some Hitler crap on the History Channel.

I am sitting here at 2:15 a.m. with a cat in my lap...no, I didn't go out and get one, one found ME. Sky is pulling 24 hour guard duty tonight, so I settled in for an evening alone. Around 7:00 I hear this really loud meowing outside - I know it's not Stripes (the neighbor's cat) because it sounds different. I look outside and see a small black cat at the bottom of the steps. I bring it inside and call Cassandra to borrow some cat food. While I'm on the phone the cat starts eating what's left of my Lean Cuisine (cheese ravioli w/ vegetables) - the poor thing is so hungry he's sucking down zuccini like there's no tomorrow. Anyhoo, I got some food and Cassandra even had a spare litterbox, so the cat is all set. It's a female, about 4 months or so...other than being skinny, a bit dirty and having a slightly chewed-up ear she seems fine. In fact, she's super affectionate - she follows me everywhere and will not leave me alone ! When I'm siting she's in my lap, when I lay down she's rubbing her face on mine, hell, she even follows me to the bathroom. Now comes the tricky part... I don't know if I can keep her. The landlord wouldn't take kindly to an illegal pet. Cats require a non-refundable $200 deposit and an additional pet rent of $15 every month. Plus, they must be spayed/neutered (which I'm all for) and declawed (which I don't really believe in except as a last resort). To complicate things further, I'm going back home for a few days and I'm leaving this thursday - I don't think leaving a kitten alone all day is a good idea, plus Sky is going to have a hard enough time fending for himself let alone take care of a cat. And did I mention Sky doesn't know yet ? He called just before I found the cat - talk about bad timing ! He won't be mad or anything (I'm sure he would have done the same if he had been in my shoes) but he certainly will be surprised when he comes home this morning :) I guess I can take the kitty to the shelter (it's no-kill, thank goodness)if all else fails. Cassandra and Phillip have been there and know the people who run it and they said it was a nice, reputable place. This cat is so sweet and she'd make a fantastic pet for someone. Still, I'm wondering if it's meant to be that I should keep the cat...it's just so odd that she shows up practically at my door and bonds with me instantly. I just don't know... Anyway, I am taking a short trip home - I'm getting my hair cut, doing some family stuff and squeezing in whatever else I can in a few days. I won't have time for everyone, so I hope they all understand. I'm not looking forward to flying - I already feel the butterflies in my stomach. Me and Sky were so wrapped up in watching Olympic hockey that I think we're both going to suffer withdrawl now that it's over. Back to watching whatever suck-ass Pens game we can get down here, I guess. And may I congratulate my team TEAM CANADA on the asskicking they gave the US on sunday - yay ! Look, I'm as patriotic as the next person, but I generaly hate American athletes as I find them arrogant and obnoxious and the US hockey team was the worst example of this. Wonder if they trashed their hotel rooms like they did in '98 when they lost ? Idiots. Anyway, it's nice to see Canadians get patriotic for a change - they should do it more often. And it was VERY nice to see Mario Lemieux win a gold medal :) Well, I think that's everything...let's see: stray cat, trip home, hockey rants...yep, I think that's it. More tomorrow once this whole surreal day has come to an end.

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Subject: Yeah, yeah, sure...I'll update more ...*sarcasm* Time: 1:19 am. Mood: awake. Music: The Sisterhood - Finland Red, Egypt White.

Not that there's really anything to update. We haven't really done anything lately because A. Sky had the flu (he's fine now) and B. Neither of us really feel like doing anything in the first place. It seems like every time we go out to eat or to the movies it always ends badly (i.e. Fayetteville assholes ruin it with their rudeness and stupidity). I've never seen an entire city in which the people have no idea how to conduct themselves in public - common courtesy and common sense are dead here. My downstairs neighbors (AKA White Trash Potheads From Hell) are a perfect example of this local phenomenon - they think it's perfectly ok to: - Play loud rap music on weeknights after 11:00 - Have loud parties on weeknights after 11:00 - Talk on their cordless phone outside LOUDLY on weeknights after 11:00 (Beginning to see a pattern, here ?) - Smoke nasty, cheap, stanky weed EVERY NIGHT that filters into our apartment via the windows, cracks in the walls, every fucking nook and cranny, which makes it impossible for us to avoid the stench. - Invite asshole friends over who congregate outside our window and make all kinds of noise at all hours of the night. First of all, I can respect the fact that these people have irregular work schedules, but in a military town they HAVE to realize that a large percentage of their neighbors are working M-F and have to get up VERY early. I don't care if it's noisy on weekends, but for god's sake, people WORK during the week and need to SLEEP ! The thing is, they ALWAYS pull this shit during the week and it's always after 11:00 - Cassandra thinks they're vampires. Since the chick is trailer trash and the guy looks like fucking Kid Rock, I doubt it... Secondly, I don't give a shit if people smoke weed ; I've done it, Sky's done it...we're not into it, but we don't care if other people are - they're your brain cells, do what you want with them. But, goddammit, I don't want to smell that shit EVERY FUCKING NIGHT in MY apartment ! Besides, there is NO smoking of ANY kind in my apartment - Sky gave up cigarettes because I cannot stand the smell of smoke on my clothes, hair and furniture (if I'm at a club I just deal, but MY home is smoke-free). And this shit they smoke fucking REEKS ! I've never smelled crap like this in my whole life - it must be cheap as hell. They might be smoking stuff they find in the woods out back for all I know - it would explain a lot. If they're paying for this crap they are getting RIPPED OFF !!!! And don't even get me started on their friends. Loud, rude, and goddamned stupid, every last one of them. For the past few nights the same two guys have bee standing outside our window and I swear they sound just like Beavis and Butthead; same laugh and - of course - the same insightful conversation. Oh, and did I mention we've picked up quite a few of their phone conversations on the police scanner ? (Hey, it just happens) They consist of 3 things : her calling him from work which always ends up in an arguement, her calling her friend to gossip,during which she feels free to take the phone into the bathroom and take a piss (yes, you could hear it), and him calling friends and, when asked what he's doing, says "Dude, we're getting high !". Lovely. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Fayetteville's finest. This is one of many reasons why I want to take a trip home soon. I'm actually willing to fly, so you KNOW I'm desperate. There are people at home I actually WANT to spend time with ! Wow - what a concept ! Not that everyone at home is on my "Must-see" list. A certain someone is starting her shit again and shooting her mouth off to my ex-hairstylist/friend. I don't know who's been feeding her information and I don't care, but she needs to find a new hobby. The hilarious part is that she thinks she can sweet-talk my brother into giving her info about me. Well, guess what, hon - he's on to you and he's not going to fall for your crap, so you'd best get over yourself. Let it go! It's fucking embarassing, already - don't you know they all laugh at you behind your back and think you're a headcase ? Fucking psycho. Well, on a lighter note, I need some hair advice. I want a new haircut, but I'm not sure what I want. I used to have long layers and I'd like to get those again, but I don't know if I should get bangs too. And what kind of bangs - super-short ones or longer, whispy ones I can push to the side if I get tired of them ? Or maybe no bangs at all. Agh ! My streaks are fading again, so I'm going to do them blue (I'm not bleaching this time because the streaks are too damaged, so the color will be more subtle) and the rest a blue-black. What do you guys think ? I'm also re-doing my site (ok, having Jen re-do my site w/ my suggestions, new pics and more content) so maybe that will help YOU help ME address the whole hair issue. I need help, people ! Please ! I think I need some sleep...I'm starting to not make sense.

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Subject: I'm so lazy... Time: 4:45 pm. Mood: lazy. Music: God Module - Re.Start.

I haven't updated in ages, it seems. I've been bored with the internet lately: I'm tired of people arguing about the same stupid shit over and over again. It never ceases to amaze me how complete strangers feel the need to rag on someone else's opinions - what joy do these people get from telling someone (anonymously, of course) "You're wrong, you're an asshole, don't you have anything better to do...blah, blah, blah". This hasn't happened to me, personally, but in several sites that I frequent. Shit like this is the rason why I don't bother to post in any of said sites - I mean, what's the point if it's only going to result in a flame war or piss off some random troll ? The whole fucking concept of trolling mystifies me - what sane person drops into some random site and leaves incoherent, profanity-laced messages, anyway ? What possible amusement can come of that ? I'm sorry if I'm babbling, but I can't even enjoy my regular sites anymore without some asshole fucking it up for everybody. So, basically I'm just irritated and tremendously bored whith the net lately...who else out there is with me ? Not much going on here lately. Sky has the flu - he's been sick since saturday. He went to sick call and got sent home two days in a row, but he's back at work today. I think he's the only man I've ever met who doesn't act like a big baby when he's sick. He's the complete opposite, actually. At least I try to make sure he takes care of himself, because if it were up to him he'd work till he dropped dead - he never even went home early when he had cancer ! IF he's feeling better this weekend we're going to try to see Lord Of The Rings. Hopefully, the crowds have died down...I can't stand sitting in a packed theatre. I just hope it's still playing at the nice theatre with the stadium seating and not at the old one that smells like mildew. We only have 3 theatres close by and one plays older movies, so my choices are somewhat limited (and that is the Story Of My Life here in Fayettevile - blech). Jason drove down last weekend and brought me a shitload of stuff from home: bagels from Panera, Christmas gifts from mom and my brother, lottery tickets for Sky (NC doesn't have a lottery - fuckers), tons of old magazines with good recipes in them, Betsy Ann chocolates (good stuff - if you're ever in Pittsburgh,pick some up)and a dozen of my mom's famous homemade Polish nut cookies. My brother's gifts were pretty freakin' incredible: a silver cross necklace inlaid w/ colored stones and Mario Lemieux - Over Time, a huge book with tons of big, glossy photos of my fave hockey player. I was going a little nuts over the book because it was a COMPLETE surprise, and I think I detected a wee bit of jealousy from Sky :) As if Mario Lemieux, multi-millionare, hall-of-famer, player and Owner/CEO of the Pittsburgh Penguins is going to leave his wife and 4 kids and wisk me away ! HA ! Well, ...a girl can dream... I promised myself I'd do something constructive today (besides usual household chores) so I'm off to pop in a French CD and brush up on all the stuff I haven't used in years...I'm pretty rusty. And besides, you never know when Monsieur Lemieux might come knocking (hee, hee !).

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Subject: A Whole Lotta NOTHING Time: 6:20 pm. Mood: hungry. Music: The Nephilim - Shiva.

That's what I feel like doing right now - nothing. I don't want to go out and I don't want anyone over here. I just want to eat a pizza, watch t.v. and fall asleep on the couch - THAT'S IT. There's nothing to do here, anyway and I sure as fuck don't feel like running all over Fayetteville looking for something to do. The last thing I want around me are more idiot people who piss me off (and Fay-ette-nam is full of 'em). Blah. I miss home, ok ? There, I said it. Does that make me a big pussy ? Frankly, I don't care anymore. I miss the hell out of my friends and I'm sick of hanging around people I don't have much in common with only because they're Army and they're not completely stupid. It's not that I don't like the "kids" across the way, it's just that they're a poor substitute for my real friends. Cass is only 19 and she's a LOT more needy than I am - I can go without human contact for days and it doesn't bother me, but she's always bored, restless and lonely. I feel sorry for her, but she has to learn to get used to being alone - what the hell is she going to do if Phillip goes on deployment ? I get 3 or 4 calls a day from her as it is ! Fuck ! I feel like I'm in an artifically created enviornment down here: I have a place to live, but it's not "home". I have friends, but they're not the friends I want to be with. I have places to go, but they're not places I like. It's like the friggin' Truman Show or something...I swear I'm keeping my eyes peeled for hidden cameras. If it weren't for Sky, I'd be totally insane. As it stands now, I'm only partially insane (which he's used to, anyway) so I haven't gone over the edge yet. I think I need some quality time with just the two of us (and maybe some chocolate). Anyone out there have any other ideas ?

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Subject: Stop the planet...I want to get off ! Time: 6:29 pm. Mood: irate. Music: Death In June - Black Radio.

I was having a good day, but I'm really in "I HATE PEOPLE" mode right now. I've gotten 5 fucking phone calls for people who aren't me. Apparently, some stpid bitch named Terri Barnes had our phone # before we got it and she owed quite a few people some money. Bill collectors call constantly and ask for her and I've told them a thousand times that TERRI BARNES DOES NOT LIVE HERE !!! I got 2 calls for her today and for the past two weeks I've been getting calls for someone named Elizabeth. WTF is going on here ?! We've had this phone # for almost a year ! Im *this close* to getting my number changed - it was bothersome before, but now it's bordering on harassment. FUCK YOU Terri Barnes for not paying your goddamned bills ! I hope you get a raging yeast infection and your uterus falls out ! BAH ! And speaking of people who don't want to pay their bills, I'm getting really sick and tired of these 9/11 widows whining about money. You know which WTC victims I feel sorry for ? All the food service workers, maintenance people, janitors, police and firemen who do SHIT JOBS no one else wants to do and were GROSSLY UNDERPAID for it and probably could barely afford life insurance after paying all their billls for themselves and/or their families to live on. These yuppie assholes whose husbands (I'm sorry - MEAL TICKETS) were making big bucks and had excellent health and life insurance benefits can just go get fucked as far as I'm concerned. "Oh, but they need to 'maintain the lifestyle to which they are accustomed'"! Well, guess what ? You only maintained that lifestyle because YOUR HUSBAND WORKED WHILE YOU SAT ON YOUR ASS ! You maintained that lifestyle because you bought an ugly, overpriced McMansion, a hulking, gas-guzling SUV, expensive cookie-cutter clothes from the Gap and Bananna Republic, and a whole bunch of other shit you DID NOT NEED and amassed such considerable DEBT that even with a 6-figure salary your husband's INSURANCE is not enough and the very generous DONATIONS from your fellow Americans is not enough. Do you have SAVINGS ? Do you have INVESTMENTS ? Did your husband purchase additional LIFE INSURANCE ? NO !! You want MORE money, you want TAX CREDITS and you want THE RIGHT TO SUE (Sue, WHO exactly, Bin Laden ?! When they can't even FIND him ?!) Well, you can all PISS OFF ! Do you even MISS your husbands ? You'd never know it, considering that all they talk about is money and maintaining their precious lifestyle. How sickening. If - god forbid - anything happened to Sky I wouldn't even give a shit about money...I'd be so devestated I'd probably fucking forget to pay the bills. And you know what ? If he were gone, I'd have to get up off my ass (eventually) and GET A JOB. It's nice not working, but if something happened to him I'd just have to start supporting myself - why would I even feel entitled to never work again ? That's what kills me the most about the 9/11 widows - the sense of entitlment. What the FUCK makes you think you deserve to sit on you ass for the rest of your life just because your hubby bought the farm ? YOU created those kids, so YOU get out there and support them - if hubby didn't have the brains to buy enough life insurance why the hell is that MY problem ? My dad is a high school dropout, drove a goddamned forklift for 35 years, made so-so money and yet HE had the brains to purchase plenty of additional life insurance so me, my brother and my mom would be ok if something happened to him - plus, my mom worked for most of my childhood anyway so she would certainly have made sure we didn't go hungry. Did we have a huge house, designer clothes, expensive car - fuck, no. And we didn't CARE, either. We weren't taught to be greedy assholes who think that the world owes us a "lifestyle". How are these people any different from welfare recipients ? They both have their hands outstretched and expect our hard-earned money to fill them. If anything, they're worse - despite all the abuse that goes on in the system, most people are on welfare because they are IN NEED - the only thing the 9/11 widows are in need of is a good, healthy dose of REALITY. Listen up, yuppiescum: the country doesn't owe you ANYTHING. Millions of people reached deep into their pockets to give you a very generous gift and what do you do ? You spit on it ! "It's not enough" you say. You want more ! Well, fuck THAT, fuck YOU and fuck your LIFESTYLE ! You have NO IDEA what is truly important. Instead of honoring your husband's memories you turm this tragedy into a gimmiefest. Wherever they are, I'm sure they're ashamed of you. You're nothing but a bunch of whiny, greedy entitlement breeders who, I'm sure, will pass these fine values on to your children. They're the ones I really feel sorry for. I never used to believe that money is the root of all evil, but now I'm not so sure. Then again, perhaps it's not money, but the attitude towards money that corrupts a person. Either way, I'm sure I'll never find out. And maybe that's not such a bad thing...

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Subject: SNOW !!!! Time: 5:10 pm. Mood: accomplished. Music: Supergrass - Moving.

It's snowing, it's snowing ! Yippeeeee! I haven't seen snow in over a year now and I admit that I've missed it...yes, I know it's a bitch to drive in and all that, but I don't care. Sky may have off tomorrow since the whole Ft. Bragg/Fayetteville area usually shuts down when it snows, so I certainly wouldn't mind a day of drinking hot chocolate and watching the snow fall with my sweetie :) Well, my tree is down, all the decorations have been put away and the entire apartment has been cleaned from top to bottom. I also rearranged the living room a bit and it looks and feels MUCH bigger and roomier now - I'll take pictures so everyone can see my new dishes and the chess set I bought Sky (I have them neatly displayed where the tree once stood). Oddly enough, I'm in a baking mood...I guess the snow did it. Common sense will prevail, though, because A. I already baked a shitload of Christmas cookies and don't want to dirty up my kitchen w/ all that sugar and flour everywhere and B. I've eaten enough sweets and crap to last me through January. If I really need to satisfy the urge, I'll just bake bread (either soda bread or Guinness beer bread...not sure which). Well, I'm off to curl up with a good book and enjoy the snow. I wish I had a sled right now...we have some good hills here around our apartment :)

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Subject: Happy New Year Time: 4:45 pm. Mood: excited. Music: Noise from police scanner.

We're having a small party here w/ Phillip and Cassandra tonight - we're not even going to THINK of going out on the roads here with a million drunk-assed army and air force assholes out. I went shopping today for snacks and such: gourmet potato chips and tortilla chips, fire-roasted tomato salsa, garlic & rosemary foccacia, cocktail franks in puff pastry, potato skins w/ cheese and bacon bits, mini pizzas and - of course - all manner of booze and mixers. Besides the strawberry shortcake martinis, I've got a bottle of orange dream (add ice and blend - good and easy), sour apple Pucker (for shots) and peach sparkling wine (I don't like champagne and we can't NOT have bubbly, can we ?). I predict I'll be fast asleep on the floor sometime around 3:00 a.m. As promised, here are my martini recipes: Strawberry Shortcake : 1 oz. Stoli Strasberi, 1 oz. Stoli Vanil Creamscicle : 1 oz. Stoli Vanil, 1 oz. Stoli Ohranj Cappuchino : 1/2 oz. Stoli Zinamon, 1 oz. Stoli Kafya, 1/2 oz. Stoli Vanil. And, last but not least, Jen's Espresso Martini recipe (These helped us ring in the Milennium a few years back). 1 oz. cold espresso (or REALLY strong coffee if you don't have an espresso maker), 1 1/2 oz. vodka, 1 1/2 oz Kahlua, 1 oz. white Creme de Cacao. Pour ingredients into ice-filled shaker, shake, strain into chilled martini glasses (it should be somewhat frothy). We also like them w/ a little whipped cream on top :) Well, I have guests coming in a half hour or so...I'll check in tomorrow (and I'm sure I'll be feeling like I'v been hit by a bus).

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Subject: Official XMas Gift List Time: 10:39 am. Mood: content. Music: Robbie Williams - I Will Talk and Hollywood Will Listen.

well, I guess Sky thought I was a good girl this year (even if no one else does !). I was really spoiled this year...here's the rundown... CD's: Robbie Williams "Swing While You're Winning", Fields Of The Nephilim, Supergrass (I love the song "Moving"), Songs From Ireland, and Songs from Hungary & Romania. Books: Bard - The Odyssey Of The Irish, The Great Shame and The Triumph Of The Irish In The English-Speaking World, and Eleanor Of Aquitane. Three pieces (bowl, plate and candle holder) of handpainted earthenware from Poland (Pricey, collectable-type stuff...too nice to use) and a ceramic Christmas tree candle holder from the same store. A sheer, black shirt embroidered w/ black beads. A stocking filled with european teas, chocolates, candies and a jar of real Scottish marmalade (must make scones soon). A stuffed Scabbers the rat (character from the Harry Potter books). I got Sky several shirts and sweaters from Structure, a handmade wooden chess set from Poland (we both like stuff from Eastern Europe)and a police scanner. The scanner is by far his favorite gift - we've picked up so many phone conversations it's unbelievable. I got other gifts from friends and family, but I'll list those later (some haven't arrived in the mail yet). I also got myself a little present: vanilla and strawbery Stoli's so I can have strawberry shortcake martinis on New Year's Eve. I also hit the day-after-Christmas sales and got lights for next year (I want to do a blue and silver tree next time instead of red). On Christmas day we had dinner at Phillip and Cassandra's place. My mashed potatoes and pie were enjoyed by all (I think) and we all got a kick out of their cat trying to attack the tree. All in all, it was a good holiday :) Well, hope everyone had a great Christmas...now that we're all back to reality I have to do laundry and clean this place up...

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Subject: Site update Time: 9:14 am. Mood: relaxed. Music: Vince Guaraldi - A Charlie Brown Christmas.

Jen revamped my site for me, so go to my main journal page and have a look ! She did a fine job, if I do say so :) Shopping is done, presents wrapped, packages sent to friends back home, cookies baked, and now I can RELAX and ENJOY ! Me and Sky won't be able to go home for the holidays, but Phillip and Cassandra invited us over for Christmas dinner (I'm bringing mashed potatoes and an apple-cranberry pie) so at least we won't be all by ourselves. Not that I'd mind having Sky all to myself, but I need to learn that social interaction won't kill me. Jen was joking with me last week that we both probably have Social Anxiety Disorder because Christmas parties and work gatherings just make us nervous and awkward. Of course, we're two of the rare members of our generation who choose not to go to the doctor and beg for happy pills (I doubt they would work, anyway). I guess we'll just be socially anxious until we're in a nursing home, sitting in our weelchairs in a corner not talking to anyone and refusing all invitations to play bingo or do crafts :) We'll have yet another guest on Christmas - we're watching Stripes again. His "mommy" hasn't had off on both Thanksgiving and Christmas for 18 years...until now. She's flying back to San Antonio for 2 weeks, so we'll be watching the crabby little bastard until she gets back. She stopped by a minute ago and gave us a Christmas gift and left one for Stripes so we can give it to him when we open our gifts (presumably, so he won't feel left out). It's so funny she treats her cat like a child: I guess it's because she misses her sons. I love cats and all, but Stripes is more of a big baby than a pet: she actualy warms his food and carries him everywhere so he doesn't have to walk. Now, the reason I like cats so much is that they're indepenent and largely self-sufficient, but she's spoiled him so much that those qualities are pretty much gone (this is EXACTLY why I don't believe in spoiling kids !) BTW, I'm still considering getting a cat - I want a tiny little kitten, though since I've never had one. He/she MUST be grey or black, though, because light hair and dark couch & bedspread don't mix. Sky does, fortunately, have time off from work over Christmas (he's on 2 hour recall and can't leave Fayetteville). We're supposed to see Lord Of The Rings over the break, and we'll probably go on a weekday afternoon to avoid the crowds. I've been carefully avoiding any and all previews/specials because I want to be surprised (I know what happens, I mean surprised by how it looks). It seems well-cast, so that's a positive sign. I'm bored with my hair right now: the burgundy red was pretty, but it faded fast. I may just dye it all black again and use clip-on colored hair if I want to spruce it up (I ordered 3 different colors of clip-on hair from Ragdolly and I'll probably order more). Keeping up with dying is hard enough, but keeping up 2 colors is a royal pain in the ass. It's a bitch to pick out clothes that don't clash with my hair, too. I'll probably dye it black today because I'm sick to death of looking at this mess of faded black/red-faded-to-pink/light brown roots. Blah. Well, it's early and I'm of to make a pot of coffee...

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Subject: Getting ready for Christmas Time: 4:40 pm. Mood: horny. Music: CocteauTwins - Blue bell knoll.

My tree is up, my cards are sent and I'm almost finished shopping for gifts. The baking starts next week - I'm making 9 different cookies and candies to give as gifts, so I'd better start soon if I expect to finish them all in time. I don't know if Sky is geting time off for Christmas, so I may have to mail my gifts this year. My tree is real and it smells amazing - nothing is more Christmasy than the scent of pine. It goes well with the spice candles I've been burning lately, too. I did my tree entirely in red and silver - everything from the ornaments to the garland to the lights match. Got most of the stuff from Target - they have great decorations...Sky even got me a Harry Potter ornament that's currently hanging from my stocking (It's a Slytherin house ornament with the official colors and crest. Anyone who read the books knows Slytherin produces the most Dark Arts wizards...our kind of place). Speaking of HP we fially saw the movie last sunday - good stuff. Let me just say that Professor Snape rules (I find Alan Rickhtman irresistable - it must be the voice). We went to dinner with Phillip and Cassandra on saturday. I'd never been to Bennigan's before, so I just had to have an Irish coffee. The fish and chips weren't bad, either. I know it's not REAL Irish food, but if you know what the Irish really eat I think that's actually a good thing. Speaking of which, Sky gets to play terrorist this week. Some finance unit is out in the field and they need to fight real people, so since Sky isn't doing anything important right now he got the job. He's just having fun with it - since he's the "enemy" he not being watched and graded by a CO (these sorry-ass finance people have SUCKED so far), plus he gets to go home to a hot bath and warm bed at the end of the day (while the Banking Brigade has to sleep out in the rain). Sucks to be them, but hey - they only do this once a year, so they shouldn't bitch about it. Infantry does it all the time. Sky has basically been the guy in charge at the holdover unit because, apparently, he's the only one with any brains. So, what is his reward for having the highest IQ ? HE GETS TO KEEP AFTER IDIOT GROWN MEN TO BATHE AND CLEAN UP AFTER THEMSELVES LIKE THEY'RE CHILDREN !!!!! I'm serious. Here's a few examples (no names, of course) : Idiot #1 has neglected to shower for so long that not only do his fellow soldiers loudly complain about his permeating stench, but he has a VISIBLE RING of some UNSPEAKABLE FILTH around his neck ! Sky tells, no...ORDERS him to wash and instead of complying, he lays down (in sweaty PT clothes, no less) and takes a nap. Sky has no choice but to summon the seargent in charge who STORMS into Stinky Man's room, SCREAMS "Get up you nasty, filthy motherfucker !" and literally FORCES him into the shower. This same idiot also lives in absolute, utter filth. His dirty linens are wadded up and stuffed into his locker, which is NOT locked (a BIG deal in the military - watch Full Metal Jacket sometime and you'll see what I mean). A half-eaten bagel is laying on the floor, dirty clothes are everywhere and - the piece de resistance - his mud-caked running shoes are on his pillow. Sky tells him to clean it the fuck up, even offers to help him. Tells Idiot to meet him after PT at 3:00. Sky waits 5 minutes, no Idiot. Waits another 5 minutes, still no Idiot. Goes looking ALL OVER THE BARRACKS for Idiot - no one has seen him. Sky starts panicking, thinking the bastard's gone AWOL (bad, since Sky will be responsible) then - a grand total of 20 minutes later - Idiot show up and asks Sky "Duuuu...where did you go ?". Sky remains calm and orders Idiot to take a head count of all the guys in the unit and not to come back until he finds everyone on the list. Idiot returns 30 minutes later, sweating and says "I found everyone but one guy...I can't help it...no one knows where he is...WHY isn't he here ?" Sky looks at him and says: NOW YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW I FEEL !!!!!!!! When I tell you to be on time BE ON TIME !!!!!! Idiot's excuse for being late ? He was taking a shit. Defenders of our nation. Be afraid...be VERY afraid. More stories tomorrow. Sky has loads of 'em. I'm sure he'll be late tonight - probably won't get home till 9:00. This sucks. I'm sitting here having wicked thoughts I can't do anything about...it's not fair. Damn raging period hormones.

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Subject: My poor, neglected journal. Time: 6:20 pm. Mood: amused. Music: Evening news.

I know, I know...I need to update more. I suck. Thanksgiving was nice - just me and Sky. Mom's cooking would have been ideal, but I didn't do so bad (especially for just 2 people). Only 1 day of leftovers, too - yay ! We were going to try to see Harry potter, but decided not to brave the crowds. I'm sure we'll get around to it this weekend, as some of the hype is sure to have died down. We have a couple of new acquaintences here in our apartment complex - Sky's friend Phillip and his wife Cassandra moved in here almost 2 weeks ago. They're from Huston, TX and at 24 and 19, respectively, they make me feel a little old. I have to give Cassandra credit: I know I couldn't have left home at 19 - not for ANY man. Phil left behind a VERY good machinist's job to do this crazy army thing, too. I think he's nuts (although I'm too polite to tell him so) because he was making TWICE the money, living in a nicer area and probably putting up with a lot less shit back home. At least Sky didn't have much going on in Pittsburgh and my job was so-so : for us, the army was somewhat of a step up. These two are really making some sacrifices - hope all those cynical folks out there apreciate that someone would do this for the good of the country. Then again, I'm sure they don't. *Flips bird to all LJ'ers hostile to the military* Actually, I'm a hypocrite because I'm pretty fucking hostile to the military at the moment - I just hate how the "tansitional unit" Sky is in right now sees fit to push off all the crap duties no one wants on him. He can't help it he had fucking cancer, people - don't make him suffer any more for it. He's stuck in there with a bunch of scumbags who either caused problems, can't adapt or went AWOL and got caught. One guy in his unit was AWOL for FOUR YEARS ! He had a job and was paying taxes and everything and the army never bothered to look for him - he actually ended up turning himself in ! He shouldn't have even bothered, if you ask me - the army doesn't really expend a lot of time or energy to find these people, so if you're lucky enough to get away with it I say live long and prosper...why not ? Just don't commit any crimes or go on the welfare dole. On a less rant-y note, our downstairs neighbor (a nurse and Major at Womack Med Ctr) will be on vacation til 12/8 and we've been watching her cat. He's a big, spoiled, crotchety old thing, but oddly loveable. I think he's honestly depressed at the moment from missing his "mommy". He seems to like Sky more than me for some reason, too. Maybe it's because I gave him a bath yesterday...he didn't fight me, but he didn't enjoy it, either. I guess I'm the 'mean' one(you know, the 'it's for your own good' type) while Sky is the one who spoils and indulges every whim. Thank dog we will never become parents - it would be an absolute disaster ! Oh, god...Sky just got home and he's got a million stories about the idiots he's been put in charge of...more on those later. (Names will be changed to protect the not-so-innocent, of course).

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Subject: Happy Birthday, Sky Time: 3:50 pm. Mood: productive. Music: Robbie Williams - Strong.

My better half turned 28 today. A mocha mousse cake and presents await him. Spoiled bastard... :)

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Subject: What fools these Muggles be ! Time: 12:54 pm. Mood: contemplative. Music: The Cure - Want.

I finally decided to see what all the fuss was about and read "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" yesterday. I finished it in a few hours - I couldn't put the damned thing down. I wish these had been around when I was a kid ! Well, I still enjoyed it, anyway... It's hilarious that the fundie fuckwads have their panties in a bunch over the movie. Of course, none of them have actually read any of the books (definately not on the "Homeskooling" reading list, I assume) but they're still up in arms, yelling about sorcery, sin and Satan. Yes, god forbid kids READ rather than park themselves in front of the Playstation 2 or the tv and watch nothing but senseless crap like Pokemon or Digimon or some other Happy Fun Seizure Cartoon. Then again, I think our fundie friends also consider Pokemon evil. And I also heard they have a problem with Spongebob Squarepants. It never ends with these people. I guess I should pity them: life must be endlessly frustrating and dull when you're offended by everything. I suppose I should be somewhat grateful for all the negative publicity Harry Potter has been getting - that way maybe all the Jezsus Freaks and their hellspawn will stay out of the theatres this weekend and I can enjoy the movie in peace. Fayetteville is full of them, so maybe I'll get my wish. Too bad it's all just a story...there's nothing I'd like better than to find platform 9 3/4 and jump on the old Hogwarts Express: I'll take dragons, goblins and even trolls over white trash Muggles any day ! Well, looks like we won't be here for much longer, anyway. Sky's not going to the 82nd. He'll be in a holdover battallion for the next few months: he's too out of shape from the affects of chemo to do the PT. He ran at his own pace and even THAT was a joke...he was in better shape when he went into basic after years of junk food, a sedintary job and smoking 3 packs a day ! We checked, and physical incapacity due to longstanding affects of chemotherapy is considered a disability by the army - meaning that Sky is eligable for a medical discharge. Exactly what type of medical discharge we don't know, but we'll find out after they evaluate his case (which will probably take forever). I'm pretty happy about it - I would feel like crap if Sky was depressed over it, but he's not. He realizes that he can't do anything about it if his body won't cooperate it's not his fault. We aren't exactly in love with Fayetteville, either, so it's not exactly breaking our hearts to leave. He's thinking about going to school for a pilot's license once he's out of the army - the commuter jet industry is booming because of 9/11, so he should be able to find a job flying small planes. We'll most likely work some crappy jobs while he's in school, but who cares - as long as it pays the rent and I'm back in Pittsburgh I really don't give a shit. We have a lot of time to figure out what we're going to do, so I'm not worried about it. I think that's about it for the combined rant/update. I'm going to clean my bathroom now...

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Subject: Why me ? Time: 4:09 pm. Mood: annoyed.

I don't want to be responsible for someone's mental well-being and, yet, I am. This is one of the reasons I don't want children. This person in question is an adult. I'm nobody's mother !

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Subject: I HAVE A WEBPAGE !!! Time: 2:11 pm. Mood: pleased. Music: Red Lorry Yellow Lorry - Crawling Mantra.

Thanks to Jen for creating my page - it's just pictures right now, but I plan to add more stuff later. *does happy Snoopy dance*

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