Below are the 2 most recent journal entries recorded in SilverTigris' LiveJournal:

Thursday, February 14th, 2002
9:55 am	Living With Parents After you're married I think some people have had to do this until they could save enough money up to get a place of their own. I understand that if you are living in their house you have to play by their rules, but when do the rules get taken too far. Right now my husband is going through a very tough time. He is going to doctor after doctor after doctor trying to figure out why he is having so many problems with his back. Just to give you a clue as to what his problems consist of he has severe muscle spasms that make it impossible for him to move, his legs give out on him at any moment and he can't walk around for long periods of time and when he tries to he ends up on a bench somewhere until the weakness in his legs goes away. He also has severe shooting pain that runs from about the middle of the back down both legs as well as burning sensation. He as well has lost the touch feeling from just above the waist down. With all of this he is still holding a job working on heavy equipment(bulldozers,track-hoes, excavators). Now to get to the matter at hand. My mother is now getting on my case about how I need to call the doctor and have the doctor do something about my husbands problems. Now, mind you he has been seeing doctors left and right and has another appointment March 1st and another appointment that is yet to be scheduled do to technical problems on the physicians part. I'm at a loss as to what to do. I can only do so much he needs the job so that he can pay his bills as well as a vehicle payment, and if he loses his job then he loses his medical insurance that he needs so that he can go to these doctors. But yet she still insists that something needs to be done. I'm not saying that shes wrong on that part what I'm saying is that she has no right to be getting on my case for things that don't pertain to her. I don't get on her case about her medical problems nor do I get on her case about my fathers problems either. My husband and I have enough stress dealing with this situation and don't need added stress from her. It's bad enough we have to deal with the fact that my husband may very possibly end up as I am in a wheelchair. I don't know what we're going to do. We don't have any money to get our own place, even though we have been trying to save money for months. Every time we end up with a little money saved something happens. Whether it be a vehicle needing something, the dog having to go to the vet or my wheelchair needing a new part that otherwise I wouldn't be able to it or be able to go anywhere. With what he makes and me being on social security there is just no money in the end. My mother-in-law said that we could move in with them but I don't want to be a burden to them. It would alleviate some of the stress, but it wouldn't take care of it all. Plus, I would need to find a place to board my horses so that they won't get sold due to my parents getting tired of taking care of them. Sometimes I think that she hates the fact that I'm married to someone that will do anything for me and the fact that since I'm married she can no longer boss me around(for the most part anyway). My father on the other hand really hasn't said a word about my husbands problems. In fact if he feels something needs to be said about how my husband is doing he does it a joking manner. My mother on the other hand degrades and gets pissy. She had my husband so upset one night he almost told her where to go and how to get there, but didn't because of his love for me. Instead he came inside and broke down and cried in my arms. Then we went down to his parents house to talk everything out with them. I tell you what even I am getting too stressed out. I'm getting to the point that I just get very agitated and end up yelling at my husband or the dog for stupid insignificant things that normally don't bug me. All I can say is that I don't know what to do. Blessings To All, SilverTigris (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, November 5th, 2001
5:34 pm	Hi Everyone This is just a little note to let everyone know that I am open for discussions and willing to express my opinion to whoever cares. My life is wonderful and wouldn't change it for the world. I am also open for questions about people with disabilities( like parapelegics) and in some way we all have a disability weather we know it or not. Judgements should not be past on people based on what they look like physically and judgement shouldn't be past on people who have mental disabilities as well. People like myself can't help being the way we are or what happens to us( what are bodies do to us, wether it be muscle spasms or if we pee ourselves). I have found many people that like to poke fun at people in my position and have found many elderly people who give me pissed off looks(because I'm 23 years old and they figure that I stole my mothers or grandmothers car) when I park in a handicap parking space, and then when I get my wheelchair out of the car and then get out myself they then go run and hide like the cowards and bigots they are for doing what they did when passing by me. I don't like pitty and don't like people to feel sorry for me. I just recently got married to a wonderful man that loves me for me and doesn't care about what my physical condition is. We met at a friends house last Feb. and got married Oct. of this year. At that point when we met I had been paralized for almost 3 years and figured that I was destined for a life alone, but after my husband and I met I found myself to be wrong about my first judgement about finding someone that would accept me for me. I love life and don't let anything get in my way. So if there is anything that someone wants to talk/ask me about please feel free to do so, I don't get offended/embarressed easily and if something offends/embarresses me I will let you know. One thing I do believe in is that if there is a question about my disability there are no stupid questions and the only way to learn about it is to ask. I will say this, not every person that is in my situation has the same problems and in some cases do the same things I do. But I will try to do the best I can in answering any and all questions. Blessings to all and I hope to have some intresting and fun discussions with everyone here. (14 Comments |Comment on this)