Max Wilde's LiveJournal Entries [entries|friends|calendar] Max Wilde [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

AIM [11 Mar 2002|12:06pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | More cars and traffic ] For those of you who care, I have a new AIM name. It's: Wilde Axanthic Thank you, that is all. -Max 3 Hickeys| Suck My Kiss

"I'm so off the map, no one understands me." [11 Mar 2002|10:58am] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | Cars outside ] That was a quote a guest speaker said a few weeks ago in QST (Queer Studies) in reference to FTM's transitioning and how they ID. I've noticed a few people lately who seem to fall into that place as well. Some guys bitch and bitch about being born female and how the don't have certain rights and what not and b/c they're a girl they're labeled and not "allowed" to do certain things. They feel they're so far off the gender spectrum map sometimes...so what do they do? They transition and become male. Not male in the sense that they're sensitive and caring and down to earth, in touch with their feminine side, oh no...they're stereotypical, aggressive asshole men who scratch themselves and spit and jerk-off a lot. But yes, those are the ones so far off the map that no one can understand them. Ya know what. I think that is the biggest line of bullshit I've heard since they swore in Bush as President. I don't ID as Trans. I ID as male. Plain and simple. Yes, I'm an asshole, yes I'm stereotypical...I scratch myself and spit as well. But people understand that. I don't feel that, "no one has heard my story", or, "I'm so different, I don't fit in". I'm just a boy. Maybe this is me being an asshole of not understanding, but I think that I'm to a point where I've been around all of this for so long ans heard so many people talk about coming out and what not that I'm just tired of it. I'm past that part and ready to move on. On a more disturbing note I had a fucked up dream last night. I dreamt that Smith went bankrupt. It's such a hard concept for me to grasp, but that's what I dreamt and I was devastated. Yes, I know, it's an all womens college and the paragraphs above seem to be hypocritical. But I feel safe there. Yes I ID as a boy and not Trans, but to everyone else, until I fully transition, Trans is going to be something people can latch on to. And I think being Trans at Smith is a lot easier then being Trans at say Umass. Besides, I know the area, I know the people and a degree from Smith looks a million times better then Umass. So, with that said...I'm still applying. Anyways, I think I'm done bitching and ranting for now. I'm off to get something to eat and a haircut before work. -Max 7 Hickeys| Suck My Kiss

Hmm [10 Mar 2002|10:52am] [ mood | bored ] [ music | My roomie talking ] I don't exactly have much to say right now, so why I'm updating is kinda beyond me. Nothing too exciting is going on, no new developments, same ol drama and what not. Blah. My life is boring sometimes. I suppose I could bitch about how people always seem to have plans when I really really wanna go out and do something. Blah. Whatever though. Saturday night...sucked. I didn't do anything really. Ended up going home and falling asleep around midnight. How exciting. Mind you this was after hours of trying to make plans with someone to do something. Whatever...I'm done bitching. On a happier note a friend and I went to VT to take some pics. It was a good 4 hour trip or so, but we didn't get many pics taken since VT is well, a fucking ghetto. Well at least the part we were in. Heh. Ok, I'm gonna run along and find something to do. Suck My Kiss

Happy Birthday....to her. [07 Mar 2002|08:38am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | The hum of the fan and the drunken sleepy sounds of my girl ] Ok, so last night was Jen's birthday. She went to dinner with her parents who bought her her first legal drink (a glass of merlot) and came back and had some cake and whatnot. I came over after work and took her out. We went out to make her first packy run and in the process ran into some uber sketchy guys. They ended buying her two nips ("one for you and one for your friend over there") because she told them it was her birthday. So six pack and nips in hand, we then made it to City Cafe where she knew the bartender. He looked like Kevin Bacon's stunt double, it was weird. He only ended up charging us for one drink out of the four we had since it was her birthday. Then we went to Diva's where she had another 4 beers and thus declared, "I'm durnk. Drunk." I had a happy buzz going myself, but I was babysitting. Rather drunksitting. We ended up coming home after that where I had to help her up the stairs and into her room. She was then one with the cell phone proclaiming her drunkeness to various people. A little time online and then to bed. She's missing her first class right since she's still in bed. I think she's gonna have a wicked hangover today. Funny how I don't seem to get those. All in all it was a good night and I think she enjoyed herself. We'll see how she feels when she wakes up. Ok, I'm off to comtemplate a shower...or something. Have a good day kids. -Max 2 Hickeys| Suck My Kiss

Blah [05 Mar 2002|09:46am] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Noises outside ] I'm too lazy to write everything that's on my mind right now...so here's a brief run down: blah blah work blah blah resume blah blah apt blah blah girlfriend blah blah friends blah blah bills blah blah ex's who won't leave my ass alone blah blah tranny shit blah blah future plans blah blah money blah blah How exciting, eh? I go now. Suck My Kiss

Monday Monday Monday [04 Mar 2002|09:06am] [ mood | groggy ] [ music | Vechicles outside ] Mondays don't really seem to concern me since I don't have a typical 9-5 job, but they still suck. Everyone else seems to have a weekly routine and I have to wait until the weekend for the good stuff to happen. Blah. We had THE conversation again. I think this was like the third time or something. It goes in circles and we both get frustrated for different and also some of the same reasons. I'm really not trying to make this any harder then it is, but it was taking a toll on me the other day and I had to say something. However now I see sometimes I should just keep my mouth shut. Easier said then done. She let me sleep in this morning, so that's a plus. I have to run a few errands and do a couple of random things before work tonight. God tonight is gonna suck. This week in general I have a feeling will probaly suck and I don't have have much say over it. But we'll see, hopefully I'm wrong and something amazing happens. Yeah, ok, right. Anyways, I'm off to start my day I suppose. Have fun kids. -Max Suck My Kiss

"Asses of Fire" [03 Mar 2002|10:50am] [ mood | high ] [ music | The fan blowing ] Dood. All I have to say is last night, about 2am, I went to bed with the spins. I didn't puke or anything, but CHRIST I was fucked up. Actually I still feel fucked up, but that's beside the point. God bless those 3 glasses of Merlot, the peppermint patty shot, the 40oz. and the date that followed. Part of last night's conversation: Me: What did she just say? Jen: I don't know Jodie: It must be funny b/c I laughed *hysterical laughter from all* Jodie (after licking her fingers and wiping them on my shirt): Oh, we have to get you out of those wet clothes Jen: Is this seat taken? omg...ok, Im done... 3 Hickeys| Suck My Kiss

Damn, I never woulda guessed... [03 Mar 2002|10:49am] [ mood | high ] [ music | Cars outside ] Suck My Kiss

Om my, how interesting. [01 Mar 2002|10:00am] [ mood | amused ] [ music | The clock ticking ] What Sex Toy Are You? Jen, looks like you have two "pleasure orbs" now! =) Suck My Kiss

It's Thursday, I'm in love... [28 Feb 2002|09:09am] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | The fan humming ] She slept naked last night and me in just a pair of shorts. I slept on the inside so she wouldn't be cold by the window. My right arm extended out and her body curled up against me, face resting on my chest. We had a great day yesterday even though she was sick. I picked her up from health services after work and we chilled a bit and then went into town so she could get some RX's filled that we never got to earlier in the morning. Walked around town being lovely and clingly and shopped at a few random stores. She bought a necklace and some things for her room while I ended up getting a jacket and a random work shirt from some business I've never heard of. We hung out with a friend and did some laundry and ended the night with a little date. It was great. There was lots of talking in between all of this and it just confirms all me feelings for her. Regardless of the situation. For those of you who havn't seen the movie Splender, you should watch it. I feel like I'm in the middle of that movie right now. And maybe just maybe, I'm ok with it. I'm ok as long as she's in my life b/c honestly I can't imagine not having her around. I miss her even now when I know shes just barely across campus at a class and I won't see her until after work. In regaurds to the movie again though...I think I might be able to do this. However it doesn't solely depend on me. I suppose time will tell. I just hope there aren't any children involved. LOL. At least not yet. =) Ok, I'm done rambling. I have to head to work. Hopefully today won't be as awkward as yesterday. Damn that whole Northampton theory sometimes. "Looks like a boy, must be a dyke." How fucked up is that? I passed with the exception of one lady. Maybe she figured it out, who knows. But I know right now I don't have the balls to say anything to her...not yet...*sigh* Have a good day kids. -M.G.Wilde Suck My Kiss

A tribute to PR-22's [23 Feb 2002|04:57pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | The fan blowing ] Ok, can I just say how fucking anal the MP's are at Bradley Airport? I almost got arrested for having a PR-22 in my truck when I went there to pick up a friend. It's a police baton, not a fucking bomb. What was I gonna do? Beat someone and hold them hostage...with what? They could shoot my ass and take me down. Morons. 3 Hickeys| Suck My Kiss

Just.... [18 Feb 2002|09:32pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | Again, conversation... ] Shoot me. Please. Make it all stop. Suck My Kiss

A tribute to "Shady Bishes" [18 Feb 2002|09:30pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | Conversation in the background ] Suck My Kiss

"It ain't easy being green" [12 Feb 2002|10:09pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Crappy song on the radio ] Green You are a very calm and contemplative person. Others are drawn to your peaceful, nurturing nature. Find out your color at Stvlive.com! 2 Hickeys| Suck My Kiss

Argh! [10 Feb 2002|09:07am] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | The fan blowing ] Can I just say how horrible it is to wake up from a nightmare? Mind you not once or twice, but three times. Two separate nightmares, one of which I just couldn't get to end the first time I woke up. It's weird though, I usually never have nightmares. I never really had them as a child, or in my late teen years, so this is totally random. Maybe I shouldn't eat chinese food before bed, eh? Now I'm gonna be restless all day because I didn't sleep well last night. This sucks. 1 Hickey| Suck My Kiss

Ahhh, finally! [09 Feb 2002|04:27pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | The fan blowing ] Well boys and girls, it seems I've finally come up with a name that I like in ALL aspects. A bit different then before, but still...well...kinda the same depending how you look at it. The initials don't spell something random, it's passed the GF test as well as the Mom test. Ok, so I'm sure you're wondering what it is eh? Alright, I won't keep you in suspense any longer. It is: Maxwell Graham Wilde Whatcha think? I was going for that sexy poetic shy boy thing. Did it work? Suck My Kiss

Inhale....Exhale....repeat [08 Feb 2002|02:01pm] [ mood | bitchy ] [ music | Silence...errie fuckin silence ] Does anyone know anything that works rather well for anger control? Something I can do or whatever no matter where I am? The urge to fly off the handle is so strong sometimes. But I don't wanna be an ass and offend anyone. Help! 2 Hickeys| Suck My Kiss

*Happy Dance!* [07 Feb 2002|12:26pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | Laughter in the background ] Ok, I'm a happy boy b/c I got new user pics. LJ pics, whatever. Jen and I agreed that after/during transition this is what I'll look like, so here's a bit of advanced hoping. Enjoy! 4 Hickeys| Suck My Kiss

I don't think I've even seen this movie... [07 Feb 2002|08:16am] [ mood | blank ] [ music | the fan and passing cars ] Which John Cusack Are You? 1 Hickey| Suck My Kiss

Dum de dum dum [05 Feb 2002|06:34pm] [ mood | awake ] [ music | The monitor sounding like it's gonna blow ] *dances and shakes my boy butt* I'm in a good mood for no particular reason, but I'm also boreed as hell....suggestions anyone? 1 Hickey| Suck My Kiss

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]