this is me

this is me

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February 3rd, 2005

Current Music:	-
Time:	12:21 pm
Current Mood:	apathetic

so. another day...

i am completely addicted to TNT from about 8am until 10pm. this is good, in that i'm compelled to stay on the treadmill longer so that i won't miss anything, but it's terrible in that i end up stuck in the house almost all day long. i'm going with karen to a shindig at one of her law school friend's apartment...i don't particularly want to go, but i told her i would and i'd hate to back out now. i also promised my aunt i'd go clothes shopping with her this afternoon which i am DREADING since i HATE clothes shopping. or rather, clothes hate me.

i rented two harry potter movies last night and watched them so that i can finally be one of the thousands who have seen them. i'm going to get the third one tonight, if i don't get back from the shindig too late. i have to go to ithaca tomorrow, which i'm also not looking forward to. i've grown to hate the three hour drive. it's boring now that i've done it so many times. plus i have to move out of the apartment (which will take forever), attend a meeting with the TAs for HD436 and show them how to use the website, and hopefully hook up with someone in APO who is willing to take the fucking sound system out of my office. i don't mean to offend anyone, but i knew i would end up stuck with it if i let it go home with me after the semiformal. oh well. all in the name of leadership, friendship and service, and it certainly isn't bugging anyone except my office-mates!

now to shower!!! sudsy goodness.

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February 2nd, 2005

January 28th, 2005

January 27th, 2005

Current Music:	law & order: SVU
Time:	08:51 pm
Current Mood:	restless

let's see. a lot has happened this week. tomorrow i'm going to ithaca for the day to finish up CLAL shit and clean out the rest of my apartment. hopefully i won't get snowed in like i did last weekend.

yeah. so this past weekend i was in ithaca. i lived in the comfort inn because my apartment is a hell hole and i was too stressed out to deal with it. monday i got a phone call that made me ecstatically happy, and then ten minutes later i got a phone call that made me cry. i'm still in a pretty crappy mood from that second phone call (a reality call from my advisor), but it's pretty much blown over by now. tuesday i got more wonderful emails (in the form of an acceptance to my top choice grad school...and full funding plus a hefty yearly stiped) but then had a shitty 3-hour, $250 experience at the dentist's office. the rest of the night was novicaine-overdose-induced puking punctuated by moments of watching "Alien vs. Predator." (such a terrible movie, but my dad and i HAD to rent it because of an inside joke -- surprisingly, when i went to blockbuster to rent it, they were sold out! so was the blockbuster in amherst! craziness. people in buffalo have terrible taste.) wednesday was a bit rough, but i owe my life to karen...she's so upbeat, and she even came to my mom's memorial service. even though i'm sure she has plenty of stress in her life, she always takes time to be a friend. it means a lot. the rest of wednesday was spent at brunch and doing work. today i ran a few miles, ate a lot of salsa, and worked some more. i met up with karen at UB and i whooped her ass at rummy. we looked at hot guys that were roaming around campus and rated them on a 1-10 scale.

and tomorrow, it's up at the ass-crack of dawn to drive three hours to drop off some freakin' printouts. whoopdedoooooo...

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January 25th, 2005

Current Music:	Doobie Brothers - Jesus Is Just Alright
Time:	09:28 pm
Current Mood:	nauseated

yeah. my teeth hurt. quite badly. and the drugs made me puke for the past three hours. not to mention that my wallet took a hit of $250...

and to think, i have to do this three more times over the next four months. gah.

well, my dad and i had a hilarious evening involving the movie "Alien vs. Predator." it's an incredible tale and i'd love to recount it here, however i'm feeling another wave of nausia and i'll leave it til tomorrow to explain the hilarity.

anyway, tomorrow is gonna suck some big balls, but that's okay. i got over my anxieties this afternoon before the dentist appointment from hell. karen's going to come to church with me tomorrow afternoon, and then i'm going to lunch with some family (if i'll be able to chew by then...) i know i'll find the strength to get through it somehow. i always do :o)

back to the bathroom floor. wish me luck.

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January 22nd, 2005

Current Music:	"Arabian Nights" - Aladdin (Disney)
Subject:	yay for snowstorms and disney!
Time:	10:29 pm
Current Mood:	ecstatic

i'm at the Comfort Inn in ithaca. i'm completely snowed in. i nearly killed myself driving from ithaca to freeville and back to ithaca. it took me an hour to drive almost 20 miles. but ya know what?! this room is SO worth the $59.99 i'm paying for it. and guess what?! no matt puking in the toilet, no nastiness, no dishes in the sink, no bugs, no guys drinking beer and playing video games, no need to wash my hands after i touch the furniture, a CLEAN shower without man-spit in it, FREE HIGH SPEED INTERNET, FREE UNLIMITED COFFEE, and free TV...and Aladdin is on network television!!!!! where is josh savrin when i need him??? ALADDIN! ON NETWORK TELEVISION!!! woohoo!!!!!!

"...it starts on a dark night...where a dark man waits with a dark purpose..."

wheee aladdin!!! ::sings along::

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January 20th, 2005

January 19th, 2005

Current Music:	Nine Inch Nails - Closer
Subject:	bored as bloody hell
Time:	11:01 pm
Current Mood:	bored

i finally checked my email today. i got an email from josh that made me smile. i'm snowed in, and i just watched "Dodgeball." it was an okay day, all things considered.
with your ass and my chest, we're gonna make millions! ~me, in reference to my new business partnership with karen

and because i'm bored senseless:
1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (Name of first pet + Street you live on): Lizzy LaNoche
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (Name of your favorite snack food + Grandfather's first name): Apple Lewis
3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (First word you see on your left + Favorite restaurant): Boob Subway (don't ask)
4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice + Last Vacation Spot): Basil Ithaca
5. SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname + Town Where You First Partied): Snuffy Ithaca (Basil and Snuffy...they're sisters, apparently)
6. FLY GIRL ALIAS: (aka J.Lo) - (First Initial + First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name): P. Ree (stupido...too much like Pee Wee)
7. ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight + Any Liquid in Kitchen): Peppermint Mountain Dew (...ewwww)
8. DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal + Where You Went to High School): Kitty South
9. BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate + Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink): Almond Amaretto Sour
10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name + Street Where You First Lived): Anne Jordan
11. ROCK STAR ALIAS: (Favorite Candy + Last Name Of Favorite Musician): Snickers Muse
12. GREASE ALIAS: (Favorite Swear Word + Last Word of Favorite Movie): Bloody Rouge (ick)

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Current Music:	Modest Mouse - Float On
Subject:	IRA stupidity, insurance issues, and the damn dentist
Time:	01:20 pm
Current Mood:	snowed in

i got into a heated debate about the IRA and Sinn Fein after a friend mentioned the Belfast bank raid that happened recently. i felt awful about said debate, because i feel so detached from the point of view i argued for, concerning the IRA and the peace process (my mom had very very strong views and they rubbed off onto me). but i don't really know how i feel about it. however, i do feel like a fraud when i get myself into a debate where i'm not completely passionate about the side i'm arguing. on the debate team at Willyville South, amy and i always managed to put aside our personal views in order to debate a point of view, even if we didn't agree entirely... but there was a purpose to that process (uh, winning). but there's no real point in me pretending that i'm passionate about a viewpoint if i really don't care or if i'm not entirely educated about it. blah.

well, i still don't have health insurance. i called independent health and bitched and moaned for an hour last night, all to no avail. it's really annoying, since i didn't really want it in the first place...argh. by the time all of this is sorted out, i will be back in school and won't need the damn insurance anyway.

speaking of frustration...this morning, my dentist called and said i need to make two more follow-up appointments to fill in "cavities." i asked him when he discovered these cavities, since when i went in to get my teeth cleaned last week they didn't find anything out of the ordinary, and all they had to do involved "reconstructing" one of my teeth and replacing a silver filling. he didn't directly answer my question but i set up two more appointments. i know i don't have any cavities, and this dentist is notorious for performing unnecessary work. i'm just worried i'm getting conned into paying an arm and a leg for work that doesn't need to be done. i'm relatively happy with my teeth, all thiings considered. the last thing i want is to shell out hundreds of dollars for something purely asthetic. stupid dentists. i rank them alongside used car salesmen and lawyers.

regarding my mental health, i recently started watching ER. this is bad. i'm completely caught up with the storyline now. stupid TNT and their addicting programming. other than running, showering, and eating, i've managed to spend all morning in satin PJs doing NOTHING but watching ER. my slothful side loves it, but it's stressing out the hyperactive side of my personality...i'm definitely going to grab the laptop and venture out in the blizzard so i can do work at starbucks or clarence center coffee. mmmmmmm...coffee....

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January 18th, 2005

Current Music:	Queen - Somebody to Love
Time:	11:25 pm
Current Mood:	blah

today was beyond lazy. i felt okay about it until a few hours ago. it consisted of sleeping in until 10am, jogging for 45 minutes and showering, renting "The End of the Affair" (i adore Ralph Fiennes' acting), cleaning up, running errands, cleaning out my car and getting an oil change, and making chili. i had a bit of a "runner's high" this morning, but it wore off around noon and i felt kinda down for the rest of the day. karen just called and that made me feel a bit better. we discussed the controversy surrounding my personal statements (my advisor emailed me to tell me he didn't like my cornell one because i didn't toot my own horn enough and i didn't mention my mom). after talkingw ith her, i felt much better about myself and my justification for why i wrote my personal statements the way i did. karen is like a self-confident version of me. with red hair. and way better fashion sense.

blah. i think i'm going to call it a night and tell myself that tomorrow is a new day.

"g'nite, trisha. tomorrow is a new day."

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January 17th, 2005

Current Music:	Guster - Amsterdam
Time:	11:56 pm
Current Mood:	crazy

today was exciting and stressful, all at the same time.

did i finish any of my work? hell no! did i pay my bills? of course not!!

instead: 1.) i found out that i'm invited to a posh family party, 2.) i hosted one of my cousins and his mother at afternoon tea at my house, 3.) i took karen out to coffee and played rummy, and 4.) got stuck downtown in a freak snowstorm. i also almost crashed my beautiful car, and the stress from by the near-crashing and the party invitation caused me to completely binge on chocolate all night long. and now i'm completely hyperrrrrrrrrrrrrama. i'm watching style network's fashion review of the golden globes, and i keep wishing i had tivo so i could pause it on the 5-second-long gerard butler shot :) ahhhh gerard butler. i've never been prouder to have .005% scottish blood!

ANYWHOO. here was my day and my stress. please offer words of encouragement and suggestions on ( the following little ditty: )

anywhoo. after hearing that i was going to be singing and playing piano for that party (in a month), i practised piano and sang for an hour this morning. it was AWESOME. this is gonna sound stupid, but after running religiously for the past few months i think my diaphragm has gotten stronger. i definitely think it's my breathing that has improved, and it's just making everything else better. (or maybe the increased oxygen flow has made me delusional and i sound like shit...) not only that, but i played the rachmaninoff prelude opus 23, no. 5 FLAWLESSLY! i felt so good about my musical abilities that i went and practised french horn for an hour after that, and sounded pretty damn good, in my opinion. (

kaitl: i know what you mean about playing after not practising for a long time! i'm definitely gonna be sore in the morning!)

that was a lovely way to start the day. so lovely that i didn't want to ruin it by doing work :) instead i ran on le tredmill until i got a call informing me that my cousin padraic was in town. (from wisconsin!!! yay university of wisconsin!!! PLEASE LET ME INTO YOUR SCHOOL!!!) he's never seen our house and his mom wanted to come over and see the house. bloody hell. i didn't have time to shower (i still smell), so i cleaned up the house, hid the dirty laundry, made coffee, ran to wegmas and bought pastry, ripped my sports bra while trying to pull it over my head and take off my sweats at the same time, threw my hair into something that resembled a bird's nest but hid the sweaty stringiness, put on some jazz music and kinda shoveled the porch -- all in the span of 25 minutes. i felt like quite the desperate housewife.

well, it was fun. padraic is a sweetheart, has a nice wife and really nice (beautiful) kids, and his mom (my aunt peggy) is nice too. my aunt anne came over to help out since i haven't seen padraic since my mom's funeral and didn't know aaaanything about what happened to him or his family since then. (padraic popped out another baby! way to go Murrays. karen calls us the Murray breeders.) i can't tell you how lucky i am to be a Murray. my family is the most close-knit family i've ever seen, and it's so cool how everyone loves each other sooooo much. i've never heard anyone utter one negative word about anyone else, even brothers and sisters. it's kinda weird...but so nice.

aaanywhoo. after they left i still had no motivation to work so i drove downtown, kidnapped karen, and drove aaaalll the way to Clarence to go to my favourite coffee house (clarence center coffee, of course!) my ex-boyfriend's little sister was there, but she didn't recognise me (thank god). we played rummy and drank hot cocoa and coffee until it got dark outside. then i decided it was time to go home. weeeeellll the lake effect snow disagreed and it took me ONE HOUR to get from clarence center coffee to the elmwood strip (typically 25 minutes, at most). it was awwwful. white-out conditions, people driving stupidly, and i nearly rammed right into the guy ahead of causing both me and karen to nearly shit ourselves. it sucked. but oh well. we're both still alive as is my car.

anyway. ( now i'm going to rant about stupid things you most likely don't give a damn about. )

ciao, lovelies.

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January 15th, 2005

January 11th, 2005

January 10th, 2005

this is me

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