[

mood

|

good

]

Well, I just got home from an awesome practice, and it seems everything is fianlly starting to fully pull together. We sound GOOD.

Jesse has one more song to learn/work with us on, and then we just have to fine tune the rest (more like h does, he has to get used to all his parts). Vocals are almost totally done, with the exception of our final song, which still has a bit of work left on it. We're starting to look at schedualing shows. It'll be either the end of Feb, or the beginning of March (unless god strikes us down - for real this time). No bullshit.

I feel damn good.

[

mood

|

good

]

[00:45] boy chases girls: LOL
[00:45] boy chases girls: ok
[00:45] boy chases girls: so kagan's over tonight
[00:45] boy chases girls: well, since 4
[00:46] boy chases girls: and he's been drinking jager since then
[00:46] boy chases girls: so it gets to be about 10 10:30 and he's loud as fuck
[00:46] apparitionbarbie: ... ahaha
[00:46] *** Auto-response sent to apparitionbarbie: Sean Muehlenweg: More Jewish than most Christians!
[00:46] boy chases girls: so austin and i devise a plan to go running so we can get out of the house
[00:46] apparitionbarbie: hahaah
[00:46] boy chases girls: so we are like
[00:47] boy chases girls: "want to go with us, kagan?"
[00:47] boy chases girls: and he's like "ok, i don't care (except slurred and all fucked up and giggly)"
[00:47] boy chases girls: so we're like jesus christ, ok
[00:48] boy chases girls: so i'm thinking "ok, we'll just og running, get tired, and drop him off. his mom will be asleep, he'll be able to get in fine and pass out"
[00:48] boy chases girls: so we're getting ready, and he can't figure out which shoes are his
[00:48] boy chases girls: there are 6 pairs, 3 of mine, 2 of austin's, and his
[00:48] boy chases girls: he finishes and i look down and he's wearing my work shoes that are like 6 sizes too big for him
[00:48] boy chases girls: LOL
[00:48] boy chases girls: and i'm like "dude, those are my work shoes"
[00:48] apparitionbarbie: hahahaha
[00:49] boy chases girls: "no they're not, these are mine. none of the other's fit"
[00:49] boy chases girls: 5 minutes go by
[00:49] boy chases girls: i get him in the right shoes
[00:49] boy chases girls: so then we get in the car somehow
[00:49] boy chases girls: and we park at my old house
[00:49] boy chases girls: we get out, walk towards the entrance of terrica harbor by the GTE building, and start running along that street (from where they're buiolding the new house)
[00:49] boy chases girls: and kagan takes off ahead of us
[00:50] boy chases girls: the kid's stumbling, and swaying back and forth, like going into the middle of the street, then back to the curb
[00:50] boy chases girls: and he's like "damn, you guys run slow"
[00:50] apparitionbarbie: hahaha
[00:50] boy chases girls: so he gets winded after like 20 seconds and slows down
[00:50] boy chases girls: and then takes off sprinting
[00:50] boy chases girls: now imagine a 2 year old who learned how to walk 4 months prior trying to run as fast as he can
[00:51] boy chases girls: it looks like he's trying to climb to jesus, while at the same time his body is spasming and going SO fast and he's going absolutely nowhere. he ran faster when he was jogging.
[00:51] boy chases girls: LOL
[00:51] boy chases girls: so austin and i are DYING
[00:51] apparitionbarbie: HAHAHA
[00:51] boy chases girls: and kagan's laughing, all out of it
[00:51] boy chases girls: and we make it around the first right (the actual entrance street)
[00:52] boy chases girls: then the second right (10 yeards up ahead of the 1st right)
[00:52] boy chases girls: and then we go about 100 yards before kagan's like "god damn i'm tired fuck this"
[00:52] boy chases girls: austin's like "just keep walking, we'll be circling around again and we'll meet up with you, just keep taking every right you can take"
[00:52] boy chases girls: so austin and i run basically a mile and a half, then hit the same poiint, and do it again
[00:53] boy chases girls: i made it almost around a full 2nd time, and austin's like "ok, i'm going 1 more time"
[00:53] apparitionbarbie: haha
[00:53] boy chases girls: so i walk really slow thinking "ok, either austin's going to meet up with kagan and he'll follow him, or i'll walk up to him and bring him with me"
[00:53] boy chases girls: no such luck
[00:53] boy chases girls: i end up going back to my house
[00:53] boy chases girls: no kagan
[00:53] boy chases girls: austin shows up
[00:53] boy chases girls: no kagan
[00:53] boy chases girls: we're both really confused
[00:53] boy chases girls: so we wait for 10, then decide to get in my car and look for him
[00:54] boy chases girls: it was like looking for a fucking lost dog
[00:54] boy chases girls: we circled terrica harbor like 5 times, went onto fowler, went around my olkd neighborhood, and then finally went towards kagan's house
[00:54] boy chases girls: after 20 minutes of searching, we see kagan up ahead of us walking, almost to his house
[00:54] boy chases girls: we pick him up
[00:54] boy chases girls: and it turns out, LOL
[00:55] boy chases girls: he made it about half way around the trail we went, got tired, and went to sleep next to a truck
[00:55] boy chases girls: LMFAO
[00:55] boy chases girls: austin and i must have both passed by him while we ran
[00:55] boy chases girls: and austin twice
[00:55] boy chases girls: LOLOL
[00:55] boy chases girls: he wakes up, has NO clue where the fuck he is, and is like "wtf, fuck this, i'm going home
[00:55] boy chases girls: and walks home
[00:55] boy chases girls: LM

[	mood	|	depressed	]
[	music	|	Shenoah - "Scent Of A Dead Rose"	]

It's been a while.

I moved into my new place, as I said, and I'm really liking it here. A lot. It feels like home to me, or it will quite soon atleast. I'm still not official, so I have to kind of keep myself on the DL, but hopefully this week I will finally be residing here perminantly. Atleast, I hope so, cuz if I get denied for some reason, I'm going to have a bitch of a time moving all my shit back. lol

I've been hanging out with some cool people lately. A lot of people from my past, back when I used to be much more social. I spent last night and the night before with Carrie, and the night before that with Lainie. It was cool to catch up with them both. I've also been spending a lot of my evenings with Kagan, and Austin of course. I feel like I'm finally getting a small clique of people again, and that's how I feel most comfortable.

I've been drinking more than normal lately. The past 4 nights, in fact. I'm taking a break now, until this weekend probably. I can't be going into work feeling like shit everyday. It's also starting to fuck with my mood now. Today I've been slower and more down than up (which has now become extremely rare for me).

I want to spend more time with Carrie, she's cool as fuck and for some reason I think we are a lot alike. I don't get that feeling with too many people.

Sympathies to Lainie, Dawn, and everyone else who just broke up with current lovers. Life has a tendency to suck sometimes, but we all bounce back eveentually.

[	mood	|	happy	]
[	music	|	A Static Lullaby - "Shotgun"	]

i moved into my new place. it is awesometastic!

[	mood	|	sick	]
[	music	|	family guy	]

i'm sick. i hate being sick so much. it makes me weird, moody, achy, pissy, and tired. and i fucking hate sitting around doing nothing all alone. it's the worst feeling ever. it's like a taste of what my death bed will be like if i were to be a total asshole for the rest of my life.

my body aches, my head is stuffy, i'm constantly freezing cold, my throat hurts, i can't stop coughing, and i have to take the day off tomorrow now. gay.

i'm a guy. i like to be pampered when i feel like ass.

So within the past few days, I've been thinking hardcore about music, what it means to me, whether or not I want it to be a permanent part of my life, and if I truly see myself going anywhere with this. My conclusion? I don't know. However, here is what I do know.... I do know that I would love nothing more than to be on point enough to blast through an entire set, soaked in sweat, throat still raw and working, with a crowd in awe and a band that destroys. I would love to at least once get on the road and visit various venues and decide for myself which towns suck to play in, and which ones throw the roughest pits. I'd love to play for people who hate us only because I can, and I would not give a fuck about it because, hey, we are there and they aren't.

So yeah. Permanent or not, I know enough that the goals I currently strive for are goals I believe to be attainable with hard work and countless amounts of effort. However, success is a matter or opinion.

i am fucking full of knowledge tonight. my god.....

i just solved all the problems that have been plagueing me. let's see if i can keep this up.

[	mood	|	sore	]
[	music	|	AFI - "Bleed Black"	]

I am ready to go fuck some shit up tonight. Showering, getting dressed, and hauling ass to Kevin's to meet up with everybody. There will be music, there will be alcohol (?), and there will be..... me? Haha.... Tonight should prove interesting.

Oh, and I'm glad I came home early last night. Whore shit went down, and I didn't have to witness. Thank god.

[	mood	|	amused	]
[	music	|	dredg - "Sang Real"	]

I found a pretty cool little plugin that works with most music platforms.

http://www.audioscrobbler.com/user/aburningmemory/

That's my homepage for this thing, but off of there you can find what you need. I like it because after you get atleast 100 songsp layed, it'll find similiar artists that you may like, along with people that listen to the same type of stuff. :)

Oh how I love to end a fucking work day. Even on the good days, it feels so good to come home, kick up your feet for a few, and just tell the whole world "fuck you, I'm not doing shit." lol

I'll be headed out of here in about an hour or so to get out to Clearwater to check out a few cars at the CarMax out there. I'm meeting my uncle after he gets off work around 4:30 (he works like 2 miles away from there at Honeywell). Hopefully I'll find something I like, and at the same time can afford. We shall see....

My family is trying their best to help me out here. I hate having to be helped, though. I'd much rather do this all on my own. But, I realize that is pretty impossible. My grandpa has been planning on selling one of his cars (now that my grandmother has passed), and I think my mom is going to buy it and let me trade in her car along with mine. That should help a lot.....

I'm also making a few calls today about finding a new job. I like working mine if I can keep it around or below 20 hours a week, but $8/hr is just not going to work for me. I've got to find something for atleast $10 an hour. I have a few places lined up to call, and I think I might be able to get this one tech job (god knows I'm awesome with computers), but we'll see. Keep your fingers crossed for me?

yesterdayishistorytomorrowisamysterytodayisagift.

[	mood	|	tired	]
[	music	|	Blindside - "Shekina"	]

So I've lost like 12lbs in 4-5 weeks. I'm averaging about 1/2lb a day of weight lost, and it's all by eating healthy. Apparently my metabolim is a lot better than I thought, lol. I wonder what would happen if I worked out outside of band practice? Hmmm..... ;x

Off to practice, Brad should be here to pick me up shortly. I'm napping on the way. \m/

Taking two to walk down the New York street, bedded with the dying foliage, we find our steps to dampen with the soft crunching of leaves. There we are standing on the busy street as the sun shines it's light in the form of rays that beam through the soft haze of polluted beauty. We'll die by this very air we find so moving.