Someday, you'll be cool...

Burritos Make Me Feel: surprised

"50 of the worst songs ever" - You bold the songs you actually like. I'd like to say I'm surprised at the outcome, but I'm really not. ;oþ

1. We Built This City - Starship
2. Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus
3. Everybody Have Fun Tonight - Wang Chung
4. Rollin' - Limp Bizkit
5. Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
6. The Heart of Rock & Roll - Huey Lewis and the News
7. Don't Worry, Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin
8. Party All the Time - Eddie Murphy
9. American Life - Madonna
10. Ebony and Ivory - Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder
11. Invisible - Clay Aiken
12. Kokomo - The Beach Boys
13. Illegal Alien - Genesis
14. From a Distance - Bette Midler
15. I'll Be There for You - The Rembrandts
16. What's Up? - 4 Non Blondes
17. Pumps and a Bump - Hammer
18. You're the Inspiration - Chicago
19. Broken Wings - Mr. Mister
20. Dancing on the Ceiling - Lionel Richie
21. Two Princes - Spin Doctors
22. Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) - Toby Keith
23. Sunglasses at Night - Corey Hart
24. Superman - Five for Fighting
25. I'll Be Missing You - Puff Daddy featuring Faith Evans and 112
26. The End - The Doors
27. The Final Countdown - Europe
28. Your Body Is a Wonderland - John Mayer
29. Breakfast at Tiffany's - Deep Blue Something
30. Greatest Love of All - Whitney Houston (Ewww @ anything Whitney)
31. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm - Crash Test Dummies
32. Will 2K - Will Smith
33. Barbie Girl - Aqua
34. Longer - Dan Fogelberg
35. Shiny Happy People - R.E.M.
36. Make Em Say Uhh! - Master P featuring Silkk, Fiend, Mia-X and Mystikal
37. Rico Suave - Gerardo
38. Cotton Eyed Joe - Rednex
39. She Bangs - Ricky Martin
40. I Wanna Sex You Up - Color Me Badd
41. We Didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel
42. The Sound of Silence - Simon & Garfunkel
43. Follow Me - Uncle Kracker
44. I'll Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That) - Meat Loaf
45. Mesmerize - Ja Rule featuring Ashanti
46. Hangin' Tough - New Kids on the Block
47. The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me Is You - Bryan Adams
48. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da - The Beatles
49. I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred
50. My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion

Burritos Make Me Feel: refreshed

I can’t help myself… I LOVE EVERYONE! You know what makes me say that don’t you? It’s the weather. Plain and simple, the weather has left me with spring fever, BIG TIME. Today has restored my faith in the weatherman. Albeit it may only be for a couple days, but he (the weatherman) has done a fantastic job!!!

Gorgeous, simply gorgeous! Today is a day taken from the heavens and placed on this Earth to remind us that winter does not last forever. I don’t care what that little Punxatony Phil says; shadow or no shadow, today brings hope for spring!

Burritos Make Me Feel: good

Ben and I talked last night. He admitted to me he acted a little rash about the whole moving out situation. He told me that he “figured” given my current financial budget, that I would be okay. I agreed with him about the acting rashly part. I also expressed my disappointment in the lack of notice. Ben understood completely.

He’ll be giving me the other half of rent next Friday and he will for certain be out of the apartment by March 1^st. No apologies were given, but none were needed. I told him ultimately it was his decision on when to move out and what to do. He thought about it for a few seconds (felt like minutes upon minutes) and said he would stay the rest of the month. Thank God.

Second job, here I come! Hopefully it’s something brainless and easy. Honestly, I really do not need another brain pusher job. Especially for 20 hours a week. I want to work in a happy, fun, friendly environment and go home when my shift is done with nothing left over for the next day. I know, I know, Jean, you cannot be so picky. I understand that. But at the very least, something stress-free is good for me.

I will be okay… ::constant repetition::  

Burritos Make Me Feel: nostalgic

I was just killing some time before my "phone call power-hour" looking through the lj archives when I stumbled across my very first entry. You know, I cannot believe I have been a lj member for over four years! January 7th was my anniversary date. How crazy is that? Back in the days of living with my parents and being poor, yet having all the money in the world to shop every weekend with Sarah. *Deep sigh* Now those were the days.

Back then if you had told me half the things were going to happen to me that did, I would have said you were crazy. It's funny, I look back and at those times of sadness, sorrow, heartache, and pain, I didn’t know if I would survive. I did, survive that is. And you know what? It doesn’t amaze me. Strong (mentally, not physically) isn’t only a word I use to describe other people, I would say it’s something I can use to describe myself. I never used to see myself as a strong person, never gave myself the credit. You know, I look back now and I think, you’re a much stronger person than you ever gave yourself credit for, Jean.

Live Journal has been such a release for me. Granted there were times when I slacked off, for weeks at a time even. But I always came back. It’s not like I have ever written anything very poetic in here or anything life-changing for that matter. But it’s indubitably helped me to clear my mind and get some things off my chest. Undeniably, this has been quite a trip. I certainly cannot wait for the years to come. What a great way to document life’s little (or big) happenings.

Burritos Make Me Feel: exhausted
Burrito's Tunes: I'm exhausted, but happy. That's not a song, just my mood.

A sober night and a great time!

Yesterday, a couple good friends of mine had a birthday. Ann & Addie (twin sisters) turned the big 25er. A bunch of us went out last night up to Little Falls, MN to celebrate. It’s about an hour and twenty minutes from my place. Well worth the drive though, that’s for certain. We all had such a great time while we danced our butts off. I was DD for the evening. Basically I was DD for myself when all was said and done, but that’s only because I asked our friend Jason to bring Sarah home since they were heading back to Princeton anyway. He was kind enough to make sure she made it home safely.

I had only one shot last night. And that was pretty much right when we got there. I didn’t even drink any water the rest of the night. That’s weird because whenever I am around others who are drinking and I am not, I usually suck down that water like there’s going to be a drought the next day. Our friend Tim showed up and it was so good to see him. He and I chatted it up pretty much all night. We had some really good, deep conversations as well. It was nice to see him open up to me and trust me with a lot of what he was saying. It was cool. It’s funny, out of our three Milaca buddies, I would have never pictured Tim and I having such a good connection. PURELY ON A FRIENDSHIP LEVEL. I had heard he was dating someone, but wasn’t sure so I asked him. He is and I think it’s great. He deserves a nice girl. And from what I heard from him, she is. Anyways, it was just really nice to chat with him. I don’t know that Tim and I have ever had that long of a conversation, or one that personal for that matter. Especially with both of us being sober. He had a couple beers in him, but nothing that kept him from enunciating and sitting on the stool. Good times.

Ann & Addie had a great time I think. It was so good to see them laughing, smiling, and just letting go. Especially Addie. They deserve so much happiness and they have been through so much over the past year. I’m so happy they had a fun, happy birthday. That’s what I wanted and prayed for them. It was so damn good to see everyone having a great time, dancing, having some drinks, laughing, chatting, and just being friends. There wasn’t really any drama (one moment, but it passed rather quickly) and it was just a really positive night. It felt really good to be with everyone and to laugh with my friends.

Despite the near-blizzard conditions when I was driving home, I had a fantastic night! Like I said, I drove home by myself since I was the only one going my direction, but it was a nice time to have to myself. I didn’t get nervous in that hellacious weather at all. I just kept calm and stayed patient. Oh, let’s not forget that I kept praying nearly every 10 minutes. I finally got home around 2:45am (I left the bar around 1:15am or so) and hit my pillows around 3:00am. My alarm went off this morning at 6:40am. Needless to say, I wanted to hit snooze continuously, but eventually I got up, took a shower, and came into work.

I can’t believe I was even contemplating on whether or not I was going or even staying for as long as I did. Thankfully Sarah set me straight and somewhere inside of me I knew I would have a good time.

Like I said yesterday, good times. :o) *OH, I almost completely forgot. I received a drunken phone call at approximately 5:12am this morning... It was from none other than "The Canadian Stud."* Hee hee... even better times. ;o)

Burritos Make Me Feel: happy

YIPPEE for good moods on Fridays! Even though I work tomorrow morning, I feel as though today and tonight will be good times.

What's everyone doing this weekend?

Burritos Make Me Feel: optimistic

Do you ever have one of those days, or weeks even when there seems to be one common theme going on in your brain? For some reason, I’ve been having a string of those weeks all tied together. In everything I’ve been doing lately or even in things I’ve been thinking about, the word “Positive” keeps popping up in my head. It’s funny because the trip out to Colorado (last June/July 2004) I purchased this sticker for my car and it simply reads: Positive. It’s something that Bob Marley always used to say and it’s pretty much what he stood for, well – that and peace of course. I see it every day in my rearview mirror as I have placed it on the direct center of my back window. I wonder, is it becoming a form of osmosis? Is that even possible? I look at it every day, I read that word and concentrate on that word every day. Is it finally sinking into my brain that I need to be a more positive person?

Don’t get me wrong; I have a bit of optimism flowing in my bloodstream. Sometimes I’m full of it, optimism that is. However, there lies a little pessimist inside of me who likes to play good vs. evil with my optimistic side. I’m just wondering if looking at that sticker every day is doing something inside of my brain. I know in my heart that God has everything to do with it, but I always wonder about those “signs.” You know?

Lately, God and I have been getting along beautifully. I’m focusing my mind, body, soul, and spirit on Him. I know that my life only holds control when I allow Him to control it. I’ve had this light bulb go off inside of my head. We’ll call it a blessing of clarity. There is a sense of calm to my inner being and I’m able to turn my life over to God. I know He holds the answers, the questions, the problems, and the solutions. I know that as long as I trust in Him, I will be okay. My life will be okay. Better than okay, great! I know there is crap going on all around me, in my life and in the lives of others. I have to keep on praying and trusting in God. Not only do I have to, but also I want to.

I was talking to Sarah the other day about how since I got these new glasses I haven’t had any problems with headaches, none at all. Then just a couple days later I had a pretty bad headache. I thought it was back to the old ways, headaches almost daily, but then I realized something. Those days I had gotten those headaches, I had allowed some crap to slither it’s way inside of my brain and I began to worry. And worry, we all know leads to stress. Alas, a headache was born. You know what I just realized today? I wasn’t trusting in God those days; I didn’t keep telling myself that things were happening for a reason. I was trying to control every aspect of my life. Wow, if you think about it, trying to take responsibility for controlling your own life, that’s liable to give anyone a headache. Why not just turn it over to your Higher Power and let Him take care of you? **Sorry, preaching. Please don’t be offended. This is all stuff my brain is processing and it really helps for me to right it down. **

Stay with me, please. Anyway, I think I’m going to China. How’s that for a subject change, eh? Really I’m not changing the subject though. It’s all connected. God has really been tugging at my heart and “speaking” to me about being involved with our Missions group at church. So last Saturday I attended our 2005 Missions banquet to attain some information about it. I spoke to a woman named Sandy (I think that’s her name, my memory fails me sometimes…) and she is going to send me some information regarding the Missions trip and being on the committee. She said there is a spot open and she was really receptive to my curiosity. I told her what I just told you guys and she was really excited to hear what I had to say. I then spoke to Mark (the gentleman who first introduced me to the church three years ago) and he said he and his wife Cindy would help sponsor me. How wonderful is that?! I am so blessed for having Mark and Cindy come into my life. Not to mention having that church in my life. What a saving grace it has been. As for raising the money to get to China, I plan on typing up a letter and mailing it out to my family and friends. I’m also going to check with work to see about what they would do, if anything.

Many things to think about, but one thing is for certain. I will be going. I want to go and I will be going. How’s that for positive?