| Aug. 26th, 2004 @ 01:25 pm |
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Anglophile - lover of things English: somebody who greatly admires England or the English.
But there isn't a word for someone who is greatly fascinated with Ireland or anything Celtic? If there is such a thing can someone please tell me.I'm Feeling:  curious Current Noise: Flogging Molly - The Rare Ould Times
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Old Poetry | Aug. 16th, 2004 @ 01:41 pm |
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Perversion of Truth Behind the shadows and reasons You may speak in scowl tongues if you like. Disguised by your illusions You are as real as all your truths. All that you have said were only mere words of a coward. You will see when your troops call it a day, Then who will you have to retire to? You are a champion with your words, no one can outdo you! Your sneering stare and well placed demeanor. Your literary spine will be all that you have to carry you! At the end of the day you will realize judgment was not ever yours. And you will have your deep dark tragedy after all! -K.A.Morgan 3/7/01
I have lost the anger that was my museI'm Feeling:  envious Current Noise: Crowbar - No Quarter
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| Aug. 15th, 2004 @ 01:42 pm |
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On the way to the market last night as we turned the corner from my apartment and I found two small tanish dogs ten-fifteen pounds each in the street. Even though our street is technically a highway where we are, it still follows the residential speed limit but no one obeys it. The two dogs were unaltered males probably related because of there shape, colour, breed, and size, one had a collar but no tags but that's no unusual around here. What was upsetting about this is that it must have happened within twenty minutes of me finding them. Being a Saturday night relatively early (around ten o'clock), so traffic was moderate but no one stopped to do anything about it. I had to do something! We pulled over and I check for temp and breathing but they had already perished. I would have no conscious if I had just left the dogs in the middle of the road like that. Ben ran to the car and grabbed paper towels for me to handle them with, so I carried their limp bodies to the side of the road and apologized for not finding them sooner. For many reasons such as this I have grown to seriously dislike this area/town, the ignorance is overwhelming, not to mention the lack of forethought and sensitivity all together.
Because of the events of last night I had viciously vivid dreams which brought me to searching the internet today. I found a lovely program that I want to become involved in which will allow me to get back to my art/craft after I'm better. And I get to do what I know better than anything else I've ever done in my life. I love animals and their uncomplicated communication and I get to make use of my innate biological nurturing skills. (also it's probably a tax write off). But for now that will have to go on hold...It would really require a house and a yard that someday we will hopefully be able to rent but not here and not now. As it is Ben's job might not be around for to much longer but we're hoping for the best. We had already decided that Bogalusa is not for us or Louisiana for that matter. We still want to live in a country setting preferably north-east of here.
( Paco Pictures )
Paco is coming along nicely he has days where he regresses and he hides under the bed an entire day. But he occasionally allows me to kiss him and reciprocates when asked (not too bad for a fear biter). Paco now sits for treats and plays tug-a-war and fetch. He has even brought his toys to us insisting we play with him and this was the very same dog that crawled under the bed when I would try to show/hand him a toy.
He is afraid of the tea tree pump spritzer that we only use on ourselves (he only has to hear it spray) and web cam (that's why pics are hard to get). We've bathed him twice when we first found him but it will probably be another year before we do that...He screams and cries like we're dousing him in acid, Ben's father suggested most likely that he may have been punished by a water hose.
He now wears a leash and goes outside. For the longest time he would try to hide behind something (couch, car) or in a bush when he would defecate with great shame. He must have been punished badly for relieving himself but didn't make the link with indoors/outdoors and tried very hard to hide the act. It's not the case now when he goes for walks. One day he was so eager to go that he barked just once to tell Ben to take him out instead of going behind furniture and hiding the rest of the day.
He loves the constant attention...He wants his belly rubbed all day long. And when we're sitting he stands with his front paws on our lap wanting to be pet. He sleeps with us in the bed and is a restless sleeper he even kicks us occasionally. He hasn't had nightmares for the last two weeks (he would scream cry) ::knocks on wood::.
And Paco (25lbs) plays all the time with Monsta who now has become very hefty cat (he must be a good twelve lbs...sometimes I can't believe I raised him by bottle) and a very good opponent, when they play it always ends in a stalemate.
When I went to the doctor in Mississippi we took Paco with us and dropped him off at very nice vet where we found out that he's negative for heartworms (he's on a preventative) and got all his shots but will soon need his booster. I also found out that he's a year old and a border collie/blue heeler mix but I believe there is shepherd in there too.
He absolutely loves going in the car and he's not secure enough to be alone yet and it may take a year before his is. He sticks his head out the back passenger window while securing himself to the driver's seat. But leaving him in the car tends to be a gamble he is afraid of abandonment, sometimes he can handle it and sometimes he just screeches...You can hear him from a few hundred feet easy.
But his growth has been enormous...Ben and I had to learn not to punish, ignore, or use a "tone" with him. If he's done something wrong we don't acknowledge it all together. If we find him doing something he's not supposed to we change the subject. He can even handle raised voices without acquainting it with yelling.
I feel such a sense of accomplishment and warmth from having him in our lives...It was all worth it! I would hope for the sake of his old owner/s that I may never run into them since this is such a small town. The damage they've done was unacceptable and I hope that they don't have children!I'm Feeling:  calm Current Noise: Midnight Oil - The Dead Heart
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TMI | Aug. 14th, 2004 @ 12:14 pm |
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Mom had the surgery and it went well. The Doctor's believe they removed all of the growth. It seems the TB scar she had in her lung is what saved her...They found the growth feeding off of it. As far as I can tell the cancer attacked the weakness part of her body i.e. her lungs and the chances that it would set up camp at the scar area were slim if not nil. I spoke to my mother yesterday and she is home, and by the sound of it doing very well. Thanks to everyone who had her in her prayers. In other news I made it to the doctor in Mississippi and all went better than I had hoped. A doctor that finally understands what is going on with me. They had taken six tubes of blood for allergy, yeast, thyroid, and other tests...I will not get the allergy test results for three weeks. They did forgot to take an HIV test and I've been tested about every two years, it's something I know they have to do it because of all the serious symptoms that I have usually are acquainted with the later stages of AIDS. I have had most of the symptoms all my life and it has only grown sever in the last two years. So I will probably find a doc in town or wait till my next visit to take the test...I prefer the latter because I don't feel anyone in this town is competent or trustworthy enough. The doctor put me on Levothroid for hypothyroidism - they extreme weight gain and hair loss (note to self : ask him about masculine hair distribution) and he also gave me a diet plan to follow and I have had positive and negative results. Though the negative results are minor I still think they are allergy related and that will soon be solidified with the impending results. ( Diet Plan - EAT FOR HEALTH DIET )I'm Feeling:  pensive
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I've never been a New Yorker | Aug. 12th, 2004 @ 08:22 pm |
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You Know You're From New York City When... |
You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan. (true,true)
You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building. (write on the money there!)
You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map. (nope I suck with any kind of directions)
Hookers and the homeless are invisible. (Hooker yes, Homeless never!)
The subway makes sense. (not usually but I've never had a problem with it)
You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual. (n/a)
You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple". ( I don't have that much pride, now make me sit through Gigli anything is possible) The most frequently used part of your car is the horn. (I would trade it in for any quote from denis leary)
You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard. ::Smile::
You consider Westchester "upstate". (I thought everyone did?!?)
You think Central Park is "nature." ( can't say either way)
You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking. :p
You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it’s a "steal." (True but it wasn't the price it was the size Xp)
You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times. (I thought Jersey was hopeless?!?)
You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent. (didn't reach that point)
You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid. (That's why I luv the country now)
You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed. (Two-three times a week)
Your closet is filled with black clothes. (I had no room for anything else)
You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since the 80s, and when you did, it terrified you. (actually it was the black out last summer but it was very peaceful)
You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents. (yup but by the end of the night I couldn't tally where all the money went accurately)
You take fashion seriously. (very true)
Being truly alone makes you nervous. (It did)
You have 27 different menus next to your telephone. ::Big Smile::
Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip." ::that's what SUV's were designed for!)
America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you. (?)
You've gotten jaywalking down to an art form. ::Nods::
You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise. (That's where the subways makes sense lol)
Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes. (that's why you were shoes with spikes!)
$50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag. (sad but true)
You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories. ( I'm two short then)
You don't notice sirens anymore. (somedays that's all I noticed)
You live in a building with a larger population than most American towns. (n/a)
Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watchseller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian.(close but no cigar)
You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you. (I still have a hard time...I don't know how to shake that habit)
You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skills.(that's sooo true!)
You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price. (I never did, I'm a cheap bitch)
Your door has more than three locks.(I still do!)
Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it.( I have to think about that one)
You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression. ( most times it is)
You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection. (They flash?)
You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.
You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available.(I'm usually too much in a rush to care)
You're willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent. (not in a million years)
There is no North and South. It's uptown or downtown. (Um...okay)
When you're away from home, you miss "real" pizza and "real" bagels. (I haven't tried pizza of bagels...I mean they can't even get coffee right here)
You know the differences between all the different Ray's Pizzas. (okay...sure)
You're not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve. (I'm as interested as I am in Mardi gras...Not at all)
Your internal clock is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are in effect. ( I never could understand that one)
You know what a bodega is. (better then my first grade teacher)
You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats.(yes)
Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.....(nope because I never kept my money there)
You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas (I'm not that pretentious)
Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you. (of course!)
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from NYC. (I guess I've never really been ny enough...I'll find my place soon)
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I'm Feeling:  blah
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» I do miss painting... |
This is the last work I've done in the months before I moved to Louisiana...It's been about nine months now. ( 8 paintings ) Poll #333542 Cafe press poll
Open to: All, results viewable to: AllWould you buy these graphics on a...? I forgot to add the option for a journal...How does that sound?
Aug. 9th, 2004 @ 09:24 pm
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» (No Subject) |
On the patch today kinda cranky...Uhg ::Pout:: I want chocolate & coffee
Must stay away from rifels and towers
Here's somthing to drive yourselves crazy over Four Buffy/Angel TV movies planned
Jul. 30th, 2004 @ 04:20 pm
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» (No Subject) |
Jul. 27th, 2004 @ 08:20 pm
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» sighning off |
Just waiting for this storm to pass
Jul. 26th, 2004 @ 02:25 pm
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» (No Subject) |
My father just called and told me that the doctor did not operate on my mother because of an irregular heart beat...Maybe stress or her heart murmur but just the same they pulled her out of the hospital to do further tests on her heart. Thanks to everyone for their best wishes and prayers.
Jul. 16th, 2004 @ 05:38 pm
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» (No Subject) |
My mother went in the hospital at 11am ny time for the operation.
Jul. 16th, 2004 @ 01:10 pm
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» (No Subject) |
I wanted all my friends to know that we have been without internet for four days (gotta love the T-storms in LA), so if anyone has sent me email in that time can you please resend it.
I forgot to tell you all about the dog (momma) that I found back in January, we found her owner a little over a month later. The good news is that she was very happy to be back home with him... Bad news is that she has heartworms and her owner breeds her.:\
I did find a new pup two weeks ago at Wal-Mart scared and dirty. I named him Paco after Frank Serpico.
Ben and I had asked the universe silently for a small dog that will get along with our kitties (Sage & Monsta),
and the universe obliged. Paco is a terrier/shepherd mix under a year and twenty-five lbs (pics soon), who is semi house broken and plays with Monsta all the time. I'm afraid that he may have heartworms (I see some of the signs) but it will take some time to save up for the treatment. As far as the heartworm is concerned I absolutely hate this state it being a swamp and all that welcomes nothing but mosquitoes and in turn causing the heartworms.
With the heat and humidity here comes fleas and not just your average fleas. I mean these fleas have a fury like no other and they breed three times as fast. We went to the vet who treated us like assholes...Like I don't know the cycle of a fkn flea! She continues to tell us that what we were doing to treat the problem wasn't doing any good (brewers yeast, vinegar, lemon/orange and tea tree and so on...) and the only way to get rid of them was through chemicals. The very same chemicals that case damage to the guys and prevents me from breathing.:(
Well everything this vet insisted on for a cost of $100 bucks and was to last us 4-6 months in reality it lasted all of a whopping two weeks! WHAT-EVER! Good news: I found a doctor that can treat my Candida. I have an appointment in a month.
Bad news: It's a 12-14 hour drive round trip.
That will be a ton of bucks in gas not to mention what will I do with Paco in the meantime (he can't stay home alone yet).
Good news:
I found a Dentist that can give me dental implants pro bono (but with donations) and they're considering my case. I had to fill out an application for eligibility and two reference letters, I'm waiting for a reply.
Bad news: If accepted we would have to drive to Philadelphia.
Once again money? Gas, lodging, and the pup.
Good news: I found Kava to control my general and social anxiety, depression, mood swings, and insomnia, even though it has been pulled off the shelves.
Bad news: Only three weeks after taking it no longer works except in the case of insomnia in conjunction with chamomile. I have compulsive negative thoughts about money which lead to anxiety. So I'm sorry if I go back into my shell for a while it's nothing personal.
Good news: Ben passed his Level 2 test and is waiting for a position to open up...I think a pay raise is included. ::crosses fingers::
Good news: I lost three pounds since last month! I've been living on viggie juices, hormone free grill cheese Ezekiel sandwiches and homemade carob bars. I did created my own dessert recipe it's called carrot pudding, now I know you all must think that sounds bad but it's really not...It tastes like a combination between pumpkin pie and rice pudding it rocks! It seems that I'm supposed to eat more often because I may be hypoglycemic, so I haven't had headaches/migraines for three weeks since the change. ::knocks wood::
Good news: I just got Jenn's letter and I can't wait to read it! :D She always has such awesome stationary!
Good/Bad news: I haven't heard from my mother so I have no idea what is going on with her.
I haven't been sewing lately because my fabric of choice (corduroy) isn't readily available.
I've instead taken up scrap booking I didn't realize how many photos I've collected in just nine years.
Jul. 12th, 2004 @ 03:48 pm
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» Sci-fi 4th of July! |
Which do you prefer?
A.
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B.
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Suggestions if any would be appreciated :D
Jul. 4th, 2004 @ 03:45 pm
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» (No Subject) |
My mother called yesterday and told me that the doctors are going to go in and remove the mass in her chest...They think that's cancer and they want to catch it before any considerable growth happens.
Jul. 3rd, 2004 @ 01:26 pm
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» Like Clockwork |
I can set my watch to the rain storms here in Louisiana
But one like this I haven't seen in nearly a month...I can barely see the fire hydrant but our front lawn is no where to be seen. What use is our gutter/ditches? I hope this doesn't mean we have to evacuate? I have to check the radio because the cable is out. I wonder how Ben is doing... Monster is being extra wacky
Jun. 28th, 2004 @ 04:10 pm
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» (No Subject) |
Sometimes I feel like Mike Monroe (Anthony Edwards) from Northern Exposure...
Multiple Chemical Sensitivity - Modern day malady suffered by Mike Monroe (Anthony Edwards) a hyper-allergic attorney introduced on the episode "Blowing Bubbles" (11-2-92) on the drama NORTHERN EXPOSURE/CBS/1990-96. Mike (a.k.a. "The Bubbleman") suffered from a condition called Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. Consequently, he lived in virtual isolation in an antiseptic Buckminster Fuller-like geodesic dome outside the town of Cicely. If anyone visited his home they were asked to dress in germ free gowns and gloves. When Mike first met pilot Maggie O'Connell (Janine Turner) he asked "Are you wearing makeup...eyeliner, perfume, shampoo, conditioner...baby shampoo? How about synthetic clothing?" Maggie says "I think this shell has some nylon in it." Mike responds "Just leave it on the hook, please."
Jun. 28th, 2004 @ 02:18 pm
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» (No Subject) |
What kind of disease are you?
induetime: | induetime is caused by Satan.
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induetime will, upon infection, turn the infected into a hippie. To cure induetime, crossdress badly. | |
Jun. 18th, 2004 @ 02:23 am
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» (No Subject) |
I'm one year older and a little bit wiser.
Jun. 10th, 2004 @ 01:32 pm
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