Opuscula de vita cujusdam Geekus librarius

9:53am: What if...
Livejournal had a moderation system like Slashdot...

I've got mod points, and I'm gunning for you.

(Score:-1, Troll)

1:30pm: So, yeah, I'm a dork
I was in a car accident this morning. I rear ended a guy on Aurora taking Jasmine to school. Nobody in either car was hurt, since I dont think I was going any faster than 10 mph. There's only a little damage to Leah's car, but quite a bit to the other guy's truck. Luckily, it was a company truck, so he wasn't too worried about it. We stood around making jokes and smoking cigars until the cops arrived about an hour later. The officer was apologetic when he wrote me the ticket for "Unsafe lane changing" (of which I was admittedly guilty). He told me that, since I havent had a ticket in 13 years, I could probably get a mitigation hearing and have the fine on this one reduced and maybe even not put on my driving record. Still, it's Leah's car, and it was my fault and I feel like a bit of a twit over the whole thing. But it *is* just stuff, right? No worries, right?

9:39am: Eight years in the making
I'm a total space freak, for those who dont know, and this morning, I'm absolutely biting my nails in anticipation of the incoming data from the Huygens space probe which is, as we speak right now, sitting on the surface of Titan. We've heard its carrier wave, so we know that it survived to land, and now we have to wait for the information to come in. For the first time, we will see the surface of an outer solar system body, of a moon other than our own, of a planet with an atmosphere thicker than our own. For the first time ever, we will hear the sounds of another world. We might even hear the sounds of an alien ocean made of cryogenic organic chemicals. Needless to say, Im terribly excited ;-)

I'm following the news here if anybody else is interested.

6:33pm: I know...
I've not been around on livejournal much lately. I haven't been posting, and I've only been reading a bit here and there. I'm actually quite happy with my break from LJ, though, so Im not likely to come back in force any time soon. But seeing this picture made me think immediately of pixxelpuss, and so I had to post it.



So how do you say "Ninjas killed my family, I now seek blood-spattered revenge" in Japanese?

;-)

11:51am: Fest-ivities
This weekend was the best Ive had in quite a long time. Karaoke Fest friday night has already been spoken of. Saturday was Vegan Tamale Fest with Real All-Natural Vegans(tm), courtesy of gloriajn. And beeeeer, provided by l2g, of course. The signature dish was a red chili and potato tamale which was quite well received, though I didnt get the opportunity to try it. My favorite were the (non vegan) green chili and cheese tamales. There was also a (decidedly non vegan) spicy pork offering which was wonderful, as well. Sunday was Coffee Fest at the convention center with seattlejo and carminerose, which was actually a lot of fun. Today is workworkwork, and tomorrow afternoon is Buffy and/or Firefly Fest with solcita and pixxelpuss. The fun just keeps on rolling.

In other news, Im trying to apply to a few jobs at the UW. Still dont have that much self confidance as far as that goes, but its incredibly easy to do now that the entire submission process is online. Its where I belong.

Please excuse extremly poor quality of the preceding announcement, as it comes courtesy of cat induced sleep deprivation and a glut of coffee and eggs and bacon for breakfast this morning :-\ That is all.

8:55am: One night in Bangkok
Karaoke party for seattlejo last night to celebrate her new job. It was wonderful. Karaoke still causes me a bit of anxiety, since Im still not very good at being up in front of people, but thanks to vettybird's encouragement, I did get up and sing "Under the Bridge" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Apparently I did a passable job, as there were no complaints ;-) carminerose and l2g developed a following over the course of the evening, and srallen kicked ass on any song with a number in the title. Hearing him do "One Week" was truly awesome. Next time, maybe I'll try "One Night in Bangkok" myself. Also, the duet of seattlejo and vettybird singing "I Got You Babe" with their doting fangirls (read, us guys) swaying to the music in the wings was an excellent way to close the bar down at the end of the show.

So pixxelpuss, take heart! I should be able to sing for your birthday, thought I might not be able to sing for my supper just yet ;-)

9:53am: META title="Same old crap" content=0
After a whirlwind discussion with solcita and pixxelpuss last night at the poly meetup which ranged from fund raising for the SLGC to Buffy to musical theater to paganism to Cicero, I find myself listening to an odd combonation of Puccini and Avenue Q while I work this morning. I tend to find the meetups pretty stressful, but these two certinally helped. More to say, but not time to say it. Maybe later.

12:26pm: Snippets of conversation from the Gaia Consort show

Random person in the crowd, calling out:"Raven!"

gloriajn:*chuckles* "You know, you can't just call out a name like "Raven" in a crowd of pagans. You'd have half of the men in the crowd turning around to look at you."

sarastro_us:"Yeah, unless you called something like 'Raven Starfire Moonspit', in which case, only three people would turn around to look..."

Seriously, it was wonderful to see solcita playing and singing and dancing her heart out on the big stage. Still not my thing, but Sunnie's just so darn purdy, I couldn't resist ;-) Speaking of purdy, I was glad to have carminerose and gloriajn there to keep me company. Very nice, indeed.

7:41am: Traffic
I got cut off this morning. By a bicyclist. Not a kid, but a nice, respectable looking businessman, no doubt on his way to work. I was coming around a curve preparing to turn right, and he approached me from behind, passing me on the right (which *always* irks me anyway). So I slammed on the breaks and let him blow by me, honking and giving the requisite finger gesture. And he looked insulted. Ex-cues me?!? Now, I respect people who ride their bicycles for transportation in lieu of automobiles, but if you're going to ride on the street, act like a car fer christ's sake!. It's safer for everybody, especially your sorry ass, which ain't protected by two tons of Japanese steel. I don't want to run you over. Don't try to force me to! And dont get all indignant when I point out that you have just disobeyed one of the rules of the road. You should be thankful that the rules are there in the first place.

8:47am: Random bits
Im looking at anniversary e-greetings and realizing that I like the ones "for him" better than the ones "for her". What does that say about me and my relationships, I wonder?

In relation to the last random bit, my 13th anniversary with carminerose is coming up next week. That feels *really* good to say :-D

Other than that... these damn cards are just plain no good for poly people. "You're the only one for me" has never cut it in my book.

There's talk of me going to Vancouver (the cool one in B.C.) with seattlejo next month for her stamping convention. I'd definitly like to spend more time there. It might convince me that it would be feasable to go to grad school at the UBC.

This weekend, I'm off to Eugene to spend some time with my friend Frater A. A. and his crew, in celebration of the autumnal equinox. We are to be opening bottles of fine wine in celebration of the year's harvest, and I think I have much to celebrate this year.

My good friends cadmus and samajh are getting married in just a bit more than a week. I'm very happy for them :-) Glad that R has seen fit to put up with Al for as long as she has ;-) She's good people.

Coffee with brandywilliams last week has convinced me to look into possibly working with the local OSOGD group. Not my primary focus, these days, but it might serve me well to stretch the old group muscles a bit.

Im out to lunch with victrix later on, and must remember to pick up dumplings to go, or else I suspect that seattlejo and carminerose will lynch me.

12:07pm: Still here...
Yep, Im still alive. As requested by cadmus, here's a brief update on the Story Thus Far:

Still telecommuting for Veer.com. It's going well. I even enjoy it.

Still worried about Jasmine going back to school. She's new to the special ed program, and I need to figure out what I can best do to help her succeed this year.

Still fighting depression. Likely to continue for some time to come. Bear with me, y'all, Im doing what I have to to survive.

Still trying to be more social. Ive recently vowed to try to like more people. Or at least tolerate them. (Thanks elfric ;-))

Stilll drinking too much coffee. Nuff said.

Still craving cigarettes. And I still cant explain why :-\

Anything else?

10:00am: Amusing moment on multiply.com
http://multiply.com/ allows you to choose the description of your relationship with your contacts, and people who are not on your list are described by their relation to people who are are (the whole brother's nephew's cousin's sister's former roommate thing). Observe:

Robert
Seattle, WA USA
Robert is your girlfriend Deborah's husband

Makes perfect sense, right?

;-)

7:33am: Birthday!
Yes, my birthday is tomorrow. Not a terribly big deal to me, really. Maybe my 30th next year will be different. but to be honest, I already feel it. I've noticed my hairline starting to recede in the last few months, which is a welcome change, if I do say so myself. It means that maybe one day, I won't have to shave my head anymore. I finally feel like an adult. I know that sounds weird coming from someone of my age, but I'll try to explain...

For those of you who don't know, carminerose was my high school girlfriend. We got together in our respective junior years. And she got pregnant while we were still in high school. By the time I graduated, I had a 'wife' and a three month old baby (I've always considered her my wife, even though we didn't get married until 2000). So one might observe that my teenage years were significantly cut short. On one level, this never bothered me. I started college early, and found my niche. I never looked back to that missing time, at least not consciously. But I have felt occasionally like I missed something; some event that would have felt like a rite of passage into adulthood, to fill the gap between teenager and parent into which I leapt so long ago. Well, that event never happened. But in the last couple of years, perhaps with my attempts to learn dating in a poly context, I've felt more able to call myself an adult.

So 30 doenst mean much to me. I've been 30 for a long time. It is nice on occasion to see the body catching up, though.

I feel like I have more to say about this, but work calls, so maybe another post at some future date. Or maybe not.

See you, Space Cowboy!

2:53pm: Another busy week
Last week was pretty full. Party on Sunday for the folks who helped us move back in May. Tuesday was the Poly Meetup with seattlejo. I'm glad I went, as I met some interesting new people, and got to see some of my old favorites :-) Wednesday was They Might Be Giants at the zoo, which I enjoyed, even if it was crowded and the kids were... *ahem* difficult. Thursday was Deb's Stamping Up party, which carminerose and I ducked out on, mostly. Friday was volunteering at the library and karaoke with apestyle.

The weekend was quite, as is today, but the rest of the week consists of coffee with solcita tomorrow, followed later on in the evening by dinner with rubylou, drakemonger and jeliza. Wednseday and Thursday are Portland with Deb (staying overnight at my parents' house, which will probably be a post in and of itself) Friday will probably consist of me regretfully cancelling my volunteering for this week so I can catch up on work. Jasmine will be at my parents house after Wednesday for a week, so maybe I'll have some quite in anticipation of her return to school, which is, also, another post.

More later...

3:00pm: Food porn
Deb and I have found the nummiest variation of the PB&J; ever to stalk the wilds of the grocery store. Blackberry jam and almond butter.

*heaven on bread*

1:27pm: I forgot, I should post...
Yesterday was the first day of my new job at Veer.com. I was a little nervious about it because I've never worked from home before, and I didnt know how much supervisor feedback Id be getting; especially vital during training. Fortunately, Ive been in frequent contact with the local team leader (who actually lives in Ballard a few blocks from my old apartment) and he's proven quite helpful.

King County Library is supposed to call me for a telephone interview today. My second "first" interview (don't ask). I'm a little frustrated with the bureaucracy of it all, though. Im starting to wonder if I'd be willing to take the job after all if Preston Gates offers.

Decisions, decisions...

3:17pm: I just heard back from Veer regarding the interview last week. They've offered me a six month contract. I'll take that gladly, thank you :-) It allows me to wait comfortably for a full time position at King County Public. My interview with Preston Gates went well on Monday, but it's almost a moot point, since Veer pays more, and allows me to work from home and continue to volunteer at Third Place. But the important thing about the interview was that I didn't freak out.

Conquering anxiety a little bit at a time.

12:35pm: Job-like stuff
Yesterday, I had a first round phone interview with Veer.com for a position as a keyword tagger, and today, I got a call from Preston Gates and Ellis setting up an interview for a library assistant position with them on Monday. Last week, darkover set me up to talk with one of the librarians at Preston Gates, whom she's known from years back. It was pretty intimidating, calling this guy up out of the blue to talk to him about this job. It sounds pretty interesting; a nice hodge podge of library and clerical work. Paraprofessional work to help free up the librarians so that their expertise can be used more constructively.

The thought of the interview, though, I find terrifying. I'm intimidated enough when I have an interview with an academic or public library (which I've done a million times), but this is a magnitude beyond even that. What do I say? What do I wear? How do I keep myself from looking like a complete ass? The thought is making my brain seriously hurt. And I have to make it through the next five days with this proverbial axe hanging over my head.

*eep*

Addendum: 3:15pm I just got a call from Veer to schedule my second round interview with the team leader in Seattle. Thoughts about raining and pouring to now commence :-/

7:43am: Thanks to Seeker9 and Carminerose

11:18am: solcita and I went out to see De-Lovely yesterday. I knew nothing of Cole Porter (other than his music) before the movie, and was pleasantly surprised to find out that his was an interesting life, indeed. Apparently, he was a closet homosexual, and he and his wife had an "agreement" about it. Of course, the movie played up the couple's attempts to overcome this and fall "truly in love", but I couldn't resist leaning over to Sunnie every once in a while with comments like, "boy if he had just told the truth, I'm sure they could have negotiated something" or "if she had communicated her feelings to him..." *shrug* Sometimes I just dont get monogamy.

Anyway, the music was wonderful, as I thought it would be, and the costumes were fabulous. I need to get a nice grey suit to go with my brown one. And a new hat. My current one is looking a little worn around the edges. Rather like me at the moment, I suppose ;-)

2:20pm: On Saturday, I walked the two blocks over to the Broadview branch of SPL to find out about volunteering. I figured that getting a foot in the door was the best way to eventually get a job. My reception was lukewarm, to say the least. Well, with a bit of trepidation, I set out this morning to go to the Shoreline branch library. Apparently, I got on the wrong bus, or misentered the info in the Metro Transit trip planner, because, lo and behold, i ended up in Lake Forest Park by mistake. And a fortuitous mistake it was. I went in to talk to someone about volunteering, as I like the cute little branch, and I think the Third Place Commons is really cool. I was directed to the assistant branch manager, who positively fell over herself to get me a time to come in to volunteer (I start on Friday). And when I asked about potential page jobs in the near future, she said, "oh, those are entry level jobs, someone with your experience level wouldn't be interested in that." Lady, I'd dress up as an open book and sing "Hey, look me over" at this point if you paid me.

It's nice to have your skill set appreciated. It remains to be seen if I'll be able to make anything financially useful out of it, though. I want to be hopeful, but I dont know if I have enough faith in myself at this point.

12:43pm: More poetry?!?
waterfaery's comment to my last post reminded me of this, for some reason. I suppose Im posting 3000 years worth of poetry quotes this morning to somehow affirm my intellectual snobbery and spurn the Philistines who have so rejected me recently. Ha! Your petty insults cannot hope to touch one so elevated as I!

( The Second Coming -- W. B. Yeats )

Heh... that actually felt a little better ;-)

8:23am: Life goes on...
So, ok, my life is not over, even if it feels like it. I keep telling myself that I was truthful in my admissions letter, and that if the committee didn't like what they saw, then we wouldnt have been a good fit. But damn it, that just doenst make the rejection any easier to take. You know, its funny, I actually had a friend tell me recently that she would give me her MLIS if she could, since she wasnt using it. I wish. If I was at a crossroads in my life before, now I stand in an open field, with no path to tell me which way to go. I know what I love doing, and I know what Im good at, but I have so little self confidence that I cant seem to find the volition to do anything. Who would want me? I have no answers. The depression is deepening, but I notice it with a strange detachment, almost as if it is happening to someone else.

The only things making life worth living at the moment are carminerose, seattlejo and solcita. *kisses to you all*

Oh, and my new favorite piece of music Bartok's Sonata for Solo Violin. Particularly the third movement.

12:21pm: Shakespeare said it best...
Now my charms are all o'erthrown,
And what strength I have's mine own,
Which is most faint: now, 'tis true,
I must be here confined by you,
Or sent to Naples. Let me not,
Since I have my dukedom got
And pardon'd the deceiver, dwell
In this bare island by your spell;
But release me from my bands
With the help of your good hands:
Gentle breath of yours my sails
Must fill, or else my project fails,
Which was to please. Now I want
Spirits to enforce, art to enchant,
And my ending is despair,
Unless I be relieved by prayer,
Which pierces so that it assaults
Mercy itself and frees all faults.
As you from crimes would pardon'd be,
Let your indulgence set me free.

9:48am: I got turned down for grad school. Nothing else to say at the moment.