Date:	2005-02-04 04:29
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	stressed

and once again insomnia strikes.

i have many things to do before i go on my trip.

many friends to catch up with.

much planning to be done.

there are so many things, and i am not the best at organising things, i am just getting confused and even more disorganised.

i am freaking out, and i cant stop thinking about all of the things i have to do.

its 4:30 am and still i cant sleep.

i really hope i can stop thinking about this stuff soon, if this insomnia continues, this trip will drive me insane.

Date:	2005-01-20 05:48
Subject:	Avoidant?
Security:	Public
Mood:	pensive

a web site that describes lots about me for anybody that is interested

Date:	2005-01-20 05:22
Subject:	Quote of the day
Security:	Public
Mood:	pensive

"The worst lonliness is not to be comfortable with yourself."

~Mark Twain

Date:	2005-01-19 11:51
Subject:	Guess What i bought today????
Security:	Public
Mood:	excited

A Plane ticket!!!!!



- Brisbane to Fiji, 23 feb
- Fiji to Tokyo, 26 feb
- Tokyo to Sri Lanka 10 march (with a stopover in the Maldives for an hour)
- Sri Lanka to London 16 march

- nearly 4 months for me to make my way around europ. i was thinking of paris, barcelona (visit rellies), rome, berlin (to go to the love parade on the 10th of july) and amsterdam.

- Amsterdam to Buenos Aires 14 August
- Buenos Aires to Santiago 23 August (i have lots of rellies near santiago)
- Santiago to Aukland 31st August
- Aukland to brisbane 7 September


the shiny electronic type version of the above


im not sure about it, i think i might make some changes. im not sure i can afford to stay in tokyo that long, and i dont actully know anythink about Sri Lanka or Buenos Aires, as they were just added to my trip as i had to stop over in those places anyway.

oh well, i would love to hear feed back from you guys let me know what you think.

Date:	2004-12-24 20:58
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	complacent

live journal hey. i think i forgot about it for a while.

things have been both hectic and lazy for me these holidays.

no uni. no work.

but i need to organise lots of things.
my trip overseas.
moving out of my house.
that will take lots of organising it's self. bills to be changed over, bond to be collected, etc.

i really have to start dooing some of these things.


i seem to have big problems getting myself motivated, (you may remember from my lj posts around assignment time)


i know i have all these things to do, and yet i dont do them. i need to get off my ass. maybe tomorrow

Date:	2004-11-15 12:42
Subject:	Exams
Security:	Public
Mood:	stressed

ok. one exam down, two to go.

abnormal psychology. (this one is really fun to study)

and organisation and community change (not so fun to study, and i HATE essay exams)



i had better get my ass in gear and start focusing on this essay exam.

oh well my last exam is on the 18th. so not long to go. and then i can stop being all antisocial.




i think i will need to do some sort of celeberatory thing. any ideas people?

Date:	2004-11-11 14:05
Subject:	Thinking
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative

I have been doing lots of thinking about my life recently.

over the past few months I have been kind of depressed. for a few reasons. the break up with Lani, for one thing. but also most of my close friends have been away overseas. Chris is travelling around the world, so was Allan, Alex went to china to teach English, Helen chiboleth is in japan teaching English. also I have been having trouble getting motivated to do my university work this semester, and my marks are suffering because of it.

my living situation hasn't been all that great either, I'm not too sure why. I think some of the others in the house are messier than I am, and it has sort of caused me to avoid the place or any mess, I clean up everything I mess up, and see everything else as somebody els's problem, I think because of this, (and uni stress) that I have not been pulling my weight around the house with the chores. ( sorry guys, I promise I will do a big clean when exams are over ) this combined with my antisocial reaction to uni stress has made my household living space a bit weird, I hardly ever socialize with the others, as I am freaking out with uni, so am always trying to work while they are chilling. (notice that is TRYING to work, my motivation problems extend to huge amounts of procrastination) I feel out of place in my own home now, I don't talk to the guys much, and one of them in particular I don't seem to be clicking with. not exactly sure what that is about, but I think I have a few ideas. well we will see how things go after I finish exams, no more uni stress should fix a few of my problems. hopefully I will have heaps more time.

friends. as most of my close friends have been away most of this semester, I have been feeling like I have had no support, nobody to share my problems with. (although I probably do) so I have been trying to make some new friends, mostly the raver crowd. and that's cool, raving has been really good for me, its helped me to overcome some of my shyness and taught me how to meet people. so now I have heaps of friends. but it is heaps of friends that I don't really know very well. I am an introvert by nature, and while it is fun doing the extravert thing for a while, it is not me. I make friends slowly, I like to take ages to get to know people, get to know people really really well. but this semester my close friends have gone. my relationships with my friends over the past few months has been shallow. I don't know anybody very well anymore, I am busy with uni and work and there are too many of you to get to know, I haven't had years to get to know people, the people I have known for years have all been away, so I hang around the new people. and you are all very cool, and there are a few of you that I would love to get to know heaps better, but I feel very insecure around people that I don't know very well, as I'm sure many of you have noticed. (have you noticed?) so most of my social life recently has been spent feeling unsure of myself, insecure, worried what others will think of me etc.. that's my shy thing (I am so much better than I was 2 years ago) I expect that a lot of the time, its ok its just that recently there has been pretty much nobody that I could hang with that I felt truly comfortable with. so this has not helped me with my uni stress and depression.


there is more thoughts but i am distracted with uni. will have to do more thinking.

I am writing a decent post for once, but I am half way through and its nearly 3am. I think I will have to post it another day.

damn my mind, it just keeps thinking and thinking...... thinking is not good for insomnia.

went out drinkin last night
had heaps of fun.
drank too much.
spent a lovely morning playing every old arcade game under the sun with aylas

am hung over now.

and i have to work untill 1am.


it is going to be a VERY long night.


but it was well worth it!!!

Date:	2004-10-28 00:03
Subject:	games i want to download but cant find.
Security:	Public
Mood:	drunk

here is a list of games i want to download, but i cant find the origional version. i can find similar versions, but that's not good enough damnit!!!

bubble boble
bolder dash
ally cat


if anybody knows where i can download the ORIGIONAL version of these games, i will be eternaly greatfull.

thank you in advance.

i finished all of my assignment's for the year!!!!

HURRAH!!!

You are Dennis the Repressed! A political activist
way ahead of your time. Everyone is always out
to get you...but you'll fight the dirty
bastards to the death!


Which Monty Python & the Holy Grail Character are you REALLY?
brought to you by Quizilla

Date:	2004-10-21 23:12
Subject:	Assignment
Security:	Public
Mood:	annoyed
Music:	Morphine - I Had My Chance

my computer just lost an hour's worth of my assignment.

i hate you computer.

i hate you.

Date:	2004-10-21 12:17
Subject:	assignments.
Security:	Public
Mood:	productive
Music:	Dj Neophyte - Masters of hardcore

Hardcore is good for writing assignments to

Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.

-- Harriet Braiker


"If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning."
-- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi


"It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live."
-- Marcus Aelius Aurelius

i just rang in sick for work.

insomnia counts as sickness dosent it?

Could Spider-man take Wolverine?

I AM 34% INTERNET ADDICT! I could go either way. Deep into the madness of nights filled with coding CGI-Scripts and online role playing games, or I could become a normal user. Good luck! Take the INTERNET ADDICT test at Fuali.com

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