crappiest summer of my life [entries|friends|calendar] Blister in the Sun [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[10 Dec 2003|04:35pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | Matthew Good Band - Apparitions ] I don't know what it is lately. I've been so.. I dunno. Sad. I'm sad and I can't be happy for more than a few minutes. You know those days when you just feel so hugely uncool, like you're the butt of everybody's jokes and nothing is going your way? And everything is overwhelming, and it feels like you know a lot of people but none of them is really your friend, and there's too much work, and you cry and cry. I've been thinking a lot lately about offing myself (because "killing" just seems inappropriate). I don't really feel like there's anything really worth... you know... looking forward to, or anything. You know that feeling when everybody says that they care about you, but something in how they treat you just makes it seem so false? And that feeling how nobody is alive but you? Okay, take that feeling and reverse it: where everybody is alive and you're really dead. 1 whirl | give it a whirl

[17 Nov 2003|07:50pm] [ mood | nauseated ] [ music | Radiohead - Karma Police ] god, my stomach's hurting again. i just got over a nasty week of throwing up. i can't take it anymore. what did i do?? give it a whirl

[14 Nov 2003|05:11pm] Ew, I've become one of those teenagers I hate. give it a whirl

Pleeeeease help me [09 Aug 2003|12:01am] [ mood | distressed ] [ music | Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb ] Ok, I am desperate. I have narrowed my painting options down to two, and if you've got an opinion, PLEASE help me decide, for the love of christ. 1: Light brown walls in "serengeti sand" (it's a really nice, calming brown). With this, I would match up either cream or light blue-coloured bedsheets, and probably spraypaint most of my furniture white (it's all "birch" coloured right now) OR 2: A really soft blue or blue-green that goes well with both my wood-coloured and white furniture, and stick some yellow accents around to make it kind of beachy. I NEED YOUR HELP PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE PLEASE. I have to decide tomorrow!! 9 whirls | give it a whirl

[01 Aug 2003|05:39pm] [ music | REM - Bang And Blame ] I'd like to know why every time I try to change the layout style of this livejournal, the font size doesn't change along with it. I can make changes however I want with the old style, but I can't with generator style. This is really pissing me off give it a whirl

[24 Jul 2003|08:37pm] [ music | Radiohead - Bulletproof (I Wish I Was) ] Well, at least I can say that I have learned a lot from my boyfriend. Like, don't trust boys, because they're assholes. Don't listen to anything they say, ever, because they lie. And the more you like what they tell you, the more insincere they are. As in, if a boy tells you he loves you, he is lying. If he says he likes you, he probably believes that he does, so it's true to a certain degree. And if he says he just wants you for sex, then you've got yourself a real keeper there, cuz ain't never gonna meet a boy as honest and true. Also, it is never enough to tell someone that you love and want them. That is something that you shouldn't have to be told, you should know from how they treat you. If a boy says he loves you and is sorry he hurt you and thinks about you all the time, but you don't ever hear from him, then he doesn't really love you and isn't really sorry and doesn't ever think about you. He is a liar and you are stupid. I also learned that my boyfriend and I are going to break up because he is a boy, and boys lie, and I'm turning lesbian, because girls may be bitchy and manipulative, but at least they are in touch. Yes I am stupid. I never thought that I would let a boy, a stupid, tall boy, turn me inside out like this one has. And the worst part is, he is SO much dumber than I am. But the actual worst part is, that I was honest about everything I ever said to him, and he lied about everything he ever said to me. This is hard, with him not around. And I lose my willpower when he is around. So I am writing this now: I am fully breaking up with this guy unless he can convince me, REALLY convince me, that I shouldn't. And that proof must be more than just, "we love each other." I don't know what it could possibly be, but if he can't figure it out, then he doesn't deserve me. Break up reasons: 1. Cheating. That's a biggee. 2. Forgetting about me. 3. Once a cheater, always a cheater: happened last year, happened this year, it'll happen again. 4. Lying about his suffering. 5. WRITING STUPID ASS LETTERS THAT WERE ALL FUCKING LIES. (cough) give it a whirl

[20 Jul 2003|12:17pm] WHY did I cut my hair so short?! EWW. give it a whirl

[11 Jul 2003|12:01am] Man... I am so ready to fully rage on the next person who looks at me. I'm going to bed. give it a whirl

[25 Jun 2003|11:03pm] 2 pairs of jeans 2 shirts that are cool etc. give it a whirl

Mah spoon is too big! [19 Apr 2003|08:47pm] I love Don Hertzfeldt! give it a whirl

[08 Apr 2003|04:25pm] And another one! Woop woop! give it a whirl

[07 Apr 2003|06:27pm] [ music | Sarah McLachlan - Blackbird ] New lj icon! Yeehaw! 2 whirls | give it a whirl

[05 Feb 2003|07:07pm] [ mood | surprised ] [ music | Beatles - Nowhere Man ] Oh god! It's ironic that the first song that starts playing on Winamp is Nowhere Man. WOW, how's that for coincidence. That's how I feel: a nowhere woman! give it a whirl

[02 Feb 2003|02:37pm] oh god, i hate my body T_T i HATE it. i am so unfit and i need some muscle on my thighs and tum. so monday-friday i WILL go on the treadmill for 30 minutes a day. :D isn't "tum" the cutest word? 1 whirl | give it a whirl

[24 Jan 2003|05:28pm] [ mood | pleased ] [ music | Muse - Sunburn ] Wow!! After two years (maybe more) I finally, finally, FINALLY find the song from the tripped out iMac commercial whose intro I love. It's Sunburn, by Muse. The song is a tad unsatisfying after such a long wait, but I still really like it. Maybe I should check out Muse some more... give it a whirl

[05 Jan 2003|05:20pm] [ mood | amused ] ROFLMAO Read the last three. What would you do if your name was Timmy Tinkletop? 1 whirl | give it a whirl

[29 Dec 2002|04:52pm] [ mood | angry ] Well damn, I only just found out that cdcovers.cc no longer hosts audio covers. T_T Does anyone know any sites that do? give it a whirl

[20 Dec 2002|09:59pm] I think about things too much :\ Here's New Year's resolution #4: - Stop overthinking things. Like, seriously. Stop it. I'm putting these up in my lj user info so I don't forget them. ByE give it a whirl

NURD ALURT [15 Dec 2002|09:40pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | Glenn Lewis - Don't You Forget It ] :3 Um, Two Towers fever is setting in a bit. I'm getting super pumped! Not sexually. give it a whirl

what's sexy? [12 Dec 2002|08:22pm] [ mood | flirty ] [ music | Massive Attack - Risingson ] Here is Alexa's post, that got me thinking... what do I think is sexy? I think it's really sexy when you are talking to your friends, telling a story, and a certain someone is standing nearby pretending to be engaged in another conversation but is actually secretly straining to hear what you are saying, and you know because, when you get to the punchline, he cracks a smile but tries to keep it in so that you don't think he's rude. That's sexy. Also, when a boy can admit to loving anything besides a girl (cultural things, like art, music, etc.) because it's beautiful. That's something you almost never hear: a male admitting that something is beautiful and truly believing it. It's sexy when they do that, because it shows that they are not afraid to reveal themselves and that they don't always have to be "on." give it a whirl

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