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mood |
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nostalgic |
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music |
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dashboard confessional - the best deceptions |
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for about six years of my life, i obsessively chronicled my daily angst in paper journals. sometime at the end of senior year, i stopped. i don't really have a reason why, and i regret stopping, but i think that i was too busy and i had zillions of thoughts i wasn't ready to really put down in print. i have about ten of these journals, all filled completely with small writing and pictures cut from magazines. they range from the embarrassing (sixth and seventh grade... i mean, i was eleven and twelve!) to the heartbreaking (junior year, for instance). i've spent most of last night and today reliving the formative high school years (soph thru senior). it's interesting to read about the stupid crushes i'd forgotten about, the thousands of minidramas that were so important, and just the everyday events that had just completely slipped my mind. what is the most interesting about these journals, though, is comparing my self-edited view of my history with these, which are the hard facts. things i conveniently forgot, or remembered differently, have been made clear - and i've actually realized a lot about myself and my friends. i have enough distance on everything now to really understand things, these days. and so i have one more resolution. to start a journal on paper again. it'll be hard to force myself to do, but after a while i'll start to rely on it again... and it'll be the best record i'll have of college.
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