Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Justine Grey's LiveJournal:

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Monday, May 27th, 2002
4:41 pm	humpf its a day off and what do i do? well, not enough but that's not new. i have been looking around and seeing what some others are up to...since i dont have most of their numbers, strange really. seeing some movies that i wasn't too impressed with. one last night gave me a headache with all the white light/70's rough cut feel to it. all my friends are gone... i hate grad school. "in the midst of life we are in debt etc...etc...etc..." the smiths Current Mood: pensive Current Music: travis (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 4th, 2002
1:26 am	if if and when where what...o h my if it's late will you call or leave me here alone if it's an if all right but what does it mean? 2--- walking and talking wandering through the spaces inbetween was i just an inbetweener? (Comment on this)
1:09 am	? it's been awhile since i've written anything in this journal. it seemed like i should add something. i must remember this... "it takes strength to be gentle and kind..." (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 9th, 2001
11:10 pm	parklifewasonce... it's been awhile...i've been in a haze. i've returned to the general mood of depressed. nothing new there. so much for the new boyfriend, apparently i am too much yet again. i guess, i'm too clingy. perhaps i should just end it before it gets worse. so much for almost being together a month, wow that was short. yes, i'm a miserable bastard tonight. i think that i finally figured out what to do next but it seems like i'm just doing it to do it. it seems to obvious, and that's dull. Current Mood: worried Current Music: Blur--"the Universal" (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 1st, 2001
11:58 pm	it'sbeenawhilebutihavegoodreasons.... i haven't felt the need to write let alone look at a computer. things have changed (yet again) some for the better but some well...you know the drill it was odd today. having my last ex email me and asking about me. telling him about my boyfriend was funny and i did get a quick response about that! the last ex doesn't have a new girlfriend yet, and i find that amusing and very apt. i can't believe my luck in finding my boyfriend. i haven't said "my boyfriend" in so long and it's very nice to be able to say happily. he's really wonderful--considerate, stable, reliable, silly, sweet, and a good cuddler. i don't know howlong it will last or anything but i'm simply enjoying being cared for and appreciated. it's too bad that i had to go through all that crap to finally find a nice one. the horses are good. it's too hot to ride during the day. it's EVIL hot! trying to keep a whitehorse clean is an impossible task. going to see radiohead in toronto on friday witht he beta band!!! Brilliant!! can't wait! sorry, too many exclamation marks but it's RADIOHEAD and the Beta Band. goodnight and thank you... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
11:50 pm	it'sbeenawhilebutihavegoodreasons.... i haven't felt the need to write let alone look at a computer. things have changed (yet again) some for the better but some well...you know the drill it was odd today. having my last ex email me and asking about me. telling him about my boyfriend was funny and i did get a quick response about that! the last ex doesn't have a new girlfriend yet, and i find that amusing and very apt. i can't believe my luck in finding my boyfriend. i haven't said "my boyfriend" in so long and it's very nice to be able to say happily. he's really wonderful--considerate, stable, reliable, silly, sweet, and a good cuddler. i don't know howlong it will last or anything but i'm simply enjoying being cared for and appreciated. it's too bad that i had to go through all that crap to finally find a nice one. the horses are good. it's too hot to ride during the day. it's EVIL hot! trying to keep a whitehorse clean is an impossible task. going to see radiohead in toronto on friday witht he beta band!!! Brilliant!! can't wait! sorry, too many exclamation marks but it's RADIOHEAD and the Beta Band. goodnight and thank you... (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 26th, 2001
3:35 pm	anotherday looking for a new job stinks... i can't seem to find anything too promising and i don't know what i should really do... graduate school? for what anyway? looked into IT and find it rather silly. i don't think i could stand working exculsively with computers. would i even care? perhaps i should just give that idea up i'm so frusrated and upset Current Mood: frustrated Current Music: Faithless...for reviewing (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 20th, 2001
5:01 pm	another day... oh well and I went for radio training today to learn how to work my computer replacement. how depressing i'm suppose to see alkaline trio tonight. i finally got directions since d couldn't bother to call me back. wanker. i should get going. go home and eat dinner, what an exciting life.... Current Mood: depressed Current Music: some metal crap Ian put on...i'm leaving now (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 19th, 2001
8:14 pm	shallow grave where have you gone? WELL then.... I have been ill yet again. I just love pollen and so do my allergies. Going to see Depeche Mode in Toronto was an adventure. Getting stopped at the border is always so much fun! My friends have BRIGHT red hair and it's so cute how they match each other...um yeah... wondering how i could get a job and live in toronto. perhaps i should just apply to the univ of toronto and stay there. I wouldn't mind working at CNFY and doing all the interviews, although they aren't nearly as cool as they used to be. Unfortuantely that is the state of radio these days. I spent too much money on Radiohead tickets for their toronto show. It's general admission and I'm dreading the endless line waiting... I'm getting too old for such things. I have to put in some job applications and hope for the best. Any suggestions of what I might do with my history/art history degree? i don't think that i could tolerate teaching in public school. i doubt that i have the patience... thanks. Current Mood: cold Current Music: Asteroid No. 4 (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 13th, 2001
6:25 pm	packtlikesardinesin... somewhat better today. i vented to paris last night and she vented about her crap. i miss her. it's so hot and i still feel so awful. my allergies have been messing with me. so much pollen i emailed d right back. he wrote back first thing this morning. not much is resolved and he's still not talking but i think he's just even more confused. i took it more seriously than he did, as always. he avoids responsiblity and it's unfortuante. we could have been happy together. i love this new radiohead album... i went shopping for a few new plain shirts, since many of my t-shirts are free band shirts and others have started to fade away. a new skirt and it's black and white, of course. very cute and useful for work, if i find a new job to replace my other two that are done with soon. the new Travis is great! "you have nothing to fear except fear itself" ? ? Current Mood: sick Current Music: Radiohead- _Amensiac_ (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 12th, 2001
9:40 pm	briefly: holding sway over me still wishing my blood would hum more quietly wishing... you are behind and nowhere to be found i need you you're never there never there fear wells up can't crush it overwhelming and drowing all reality you make me doubt myself i doubt all i doubt that you ever really loved me for all this pain you caused how could you i've lost you again i am sorry (Comment on this)
9:26 pm	DAVES...ugh yes, i haven't written in awhile. i haven't felt like it and i still feel horrible. my allergies are bothering me terribly. oghr was neat although they can't compare to skinny puppy. i didn't expect cevin key to look the way he did, odd really. the masks were neat and being flirted with by d.c. ahhhh it almost made me feel young again. c was a bit drunk and ever so amusing. i found out today, officially that i will be replaced by a computer at one of my jobs. so much for npr radio being locally run, it will be automation. oh the technology. i need to find a new job. i finally heard from d and he is such a WANKER!!! he sends me an email because he doesn't have the guts to talk to me on the phone or when i last saw him that he's angry with me. why? he won't tell me!? yes, well, at least he finally told me instead of sulking and i had no idea. i have no clue what i did to make him angry yet he still signs the email affectionately and ugh... then he says he'll talk to me soon... if you need to cool down then do it and get it over with... if you're angry fine but i can't read your mind, nor can i do anything about it if you don't want to talk about. he is such a dumb boy! FRUSRATION!!! I JUST WANT MY FRIEND BACK!!! where did he go? apparently this is all a delayed reaction from something on his behalf. i should never have dated him because he is being so immature.... i needed to vent it makes me so angry, disappointed, hurt, and i want to cry but i can't since i'm at work. wanker!!! Current Mood: angry Current Music: Mira and it's not calming me down either (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 7th, 2001
9:34 am	Late night and I'm sleepy. It was good to spend time during Cyberstorm (Wednesday nights 10pm-1am on WITR, www.modernmusicandmore.com to listen on line). we have started a pretty good banter and i got back at chris! ha! he was surprised and even admitted it. amazing really... I almost fell off my horse yesterday during my jumping lesson. It was my fault, of course. It was more upsetting that Shiner was worried that I would hit her for not jumping. She has been mishandled by someone in her past and it's cruel. Otherwise, she was fine but excited to be JUMPING! YEAH...run...RUN! I should just stick to riding and that will keep me happy. I am embarrassed to say that i can't get off my second pair of earrings. i need to take them out since it's been a few months since I got them pierced but i'm unable to get them to budge. Calling Dave didn't help since he can't be bothered to answer his phone. Are there any tricks? Have I lost it yet again? Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: "Sing me to sleep...I'm tired and I want to go to bed..." (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 5th, 2001
9:24 am	another day, another workday... only two jobs today. i missed one of the gigs that i wanted to see this weekend. i couldn't find anyone to drag to the show. grr... and i hate going alone because inevitably, i get some odd and creepy bloke following me. i can only hope that won't happen at the next show i attend alone. i'm missing too many people again. all i want to do is sleep. last night it didn't seem like i slept at all, so fitfully. i have been running into even more people of the past. i was pleased to see c but not n. i didn't care if i ever saw him again. i should stop complaining. Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: Radiohead- Amnesiac (it's brilliant) (Comment on this)
Friday, June 1st, 2001
11:54 am	it's friday. i should be happy but i can't seem to be... i'm confused and tired and there's just more questions. i should know something and should be aware of what i need to do next yet i can't seem to find it. i wish for a kind and sweet bloke to share it, no be lost with but that is not an choice. seeing d last weekend only makes me numb. having to dj in the dark only puts me to sleep even more... i feel like i'm missing something important. i don't know what... Current Mood: pensive Current Music: the smiths (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 29th, 2001
7:23 pm	it was a mixed weekend...some fun but plenty of...sadness, regret, misunderstanding, and pain. seeing D again was hard. being drawn to him and not having any outline... standing next to him and yet i could feel the distance. he is afraid but of what i can't say or explain. i wished only to be held and feel that safety again, if only for a few moments. how could loving someone hurt so much goodnight and thank you Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: joy division (Comment on this)
Friday, May 25th, 2001
3:39 pm	i'm so thankful for this long weekend. i need a break from work. some friends are graduating and i'm feeling old. what have i really done this past school year?! wasting time.... what is my purpose anyway... as glenn would say..."thinking about nachos...." oh his accent slips Current Mood: nostalgic Current Music: Suede (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 22nd, 2001
7:35 pm	Happily, I didn't get called in to work today. Sleeping in was very nice and it was very much needed. I'm worried about D's upcoming visit. This is silly because I'm only going to see him briefly but.. that doesn't seem to matter. this school year went so fast. i can't wait to go back to school and get out of the work world. i'd rather write papers and do reading than do work. all the extra jobs is just so draining. more strange allergy induced dreams Current Mood: groggy Current Music: PS I love you (Comment on this)
Monday, May 21st, 2001
11:29 am	This weekend was better. I got to see friends who I haven't seen in awhile. I am at peace when I am with him. You should check out their band it's called Locked in a Vacancy. They keep getting better... Seeing old radio station members drunk was highly amusing. Being the only sober person has its benefits. then again... i wonder why i spend time with certain people since i am sick of having to constantly reassure them. i can't even reassure myself most of the time. i will miss those who are going home for the summer. Current Mood: lost Current Music: The Smiths-"Asleep" (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 19th, 2001
12:21 am	what Changes and more changes... constant how pain intwines and merges...when does it transcend? turns... spending time with an amazing person who has no idea how wonderful they are is rather sad. i would like to tell him but i doubt he would listen. i have all the best intentions but they fall away... oh... Current Mood: depressed Current Music: "dream on"-Depeche Mode (Comment on this)