Date:	2003-11-13 12:26
Subject:	eljay lag
Security:	Public
Mood:	anxious

I was > 40 posts behind! How does that happen? Oh yeah, MOTHERFUCKING HOMEWORK. Or something. I slept from about 9:40pm until 8:09am last night/morning, and getting out of bed was so not a pleasant experience. Somehow I spent half of my six hour shift at work yesterday walking, which although I didn't notice at the time--wore me out. I know it's good for me and all, but I feel like a total slug today--and I'm still tired. However, the hot guy from tech &the; soul got in the massive coffee line after me and we had a riveting discussion on pantsuits, and their horror. he bought coffee for his girlfriend, which momentarily bothered me, then i remembered that hot boys can have girlfriends now without my dismay. in fact, good for him, he deserves someone! i find that each time i utter "boyfriend" i both cringe and feel as though i'm doing that interject-useless-information-into-conversations-in-order-to-brag type thing. i hope that fades, and i think i'd be lying if i didn't say there's some likelihood that i am bragging a little. i like to brag, especially about things which please me. maybe i ought to get over that. one of the paralegals at work without fail refers to her boyfriend as "my boyfriend... who goes to MIT", it took me quite a while to learn that his name is Josh, not Whogoestoehmeyetee. I don't want to be that girl, even though the thought of repeatedly saying "my boyfriend... who goes to berklee" at work is quite entertaining. go stuffy lawyers!

not only has eljay been neglected, but I feel like I haven't seen Dave in over a week. sure, i see him daily... but, he's sleeping. hopefully we'll get to hang this weekend. we did watch queer eye together tuesday night, and that was quite nice. i find it terribly entertaining that he loves queer eye. "gay guys are so funny!" as though all gay men were walking boxes of hilarity just waiting for the opportunity to have a television show and impress the masses. but i'll cut him some slack for being cool enough to wholeheartedly enjoy a show like queer eye and still be as straight as they come.

i know i had more to say, and i can't help but watch the clock in fear of being late to class... the class where being late probably doesn't matter at all. how is it that time can become such a preoccupation and crippling force, even when it really doesn't matter?

i want to be philbot. and hey, how happy am i that kill's got an eljay?

other stuff... aaahhhh... sand through the hourglass!

maybe more later, if you're lucky... or cursed, you pick!

Date:	2003-11-09 14:41
Subject:	go rationalization!
Security:	Public
Mood:	pleased
Music:	Pearl Jam - Tremor Christ

My life has meaning again! I've found a way to justify the necessity of temporary moments of altered consciousness in order for the intelligent members of society to produce works of genius. Now, I will go have a beer. Okay, maybe not now... but later!

Date:	2003-11-06 11:38
Subject:	me = tempestuous
Security:	Public
Mood:	bitchy

this week is killing me, be done with it already!

my cs exam didn't go as well as I'd have liked. i'm hoping for some miraculous partial credits. seems as though i'm going to have to rock the final, which certainly can be done. but will it be?

i'm in this constant state of indecision regarding disciplines with empirical answers, and disciplines where it's all feely and crap. i disapprove of the feely shit to an extent, but it seems i do a better job of succeeding in those forums. blah, whatever. it's like evil, cynical, miserable, irrational, unpredictable girl has manifested herself in my psyche and taken over.

let me do this now: I'm sorry, [insert name]. I didn't mean to offend you, and I truly do care about you and your feelings. Please understand I'm just not Megan-Megan right now. Give me a week, or six. Thank you.

moving on. it seems as though I will be visiting home for xmas. my travel plans are yet undeclared, however sometime between december 17th and december 30th I will be home for five or more days. i'd like to see you*, we'll have to work out the details together. i will undoubtedly be penniless and likely be carless as well, if you've got any accomodations available--give a girl a hand in seeing her dearly missed friends. federal way likes to suck one in and not let go for the life of her, how have we managed our escapes? additionally, i am also certain i will require relief from the "friendly" arms of my family. i'm going to tally the fun questions, maybe that will provide some amusement. fun questions such as: "what are you studying?", "are you still vegetarian?", "you don't eat fish either?!", "well, what can you eat?" and my personal favorite, "are you seeing anyone special?" Oh the responses I'd actually enjoy giving! I'm feeling rather unpleasant, I think I'll brainstorm some now:

"are you still vegetarian?"
--are you kidding? of course not, that whole thing was infantile foolishness, and you were right all along. i'll take a steak now please. ...and by that I mean, FUCK OFF.

"you don't eat fish either?!"
--i recognize that you're likely unaware of this, but recent studies show that fish are actually not vegetables anymore.

"well, what can you eat?"
--most certainly nothing which could be purchased at a grocery store or restaurant, now go grow me something or i'll probably starve, and they'll blame you.

"are you seeing anyone special?"
--you're not special, are you? wait, you're not anyone... guess the special part doesn't even apply.

Ooh, that was therapy!

That will be all for this post.

*you = just about anyone within the radii created by vancouver, bc and portland, or and centered in... seatac! (liklihood here: this means you!)

Cowie and Osborn present...

Jeopardy!
The Musical

how great are my roommates? so great.

User: groovebot
Date: 2003-10-29 11:50
Subject:
Security: Public

It's Official!

Mark the date, I can't change it this time: Monday 11/03 @ 7pm.

Our House West (the cool one). Food, games, booze, trivia and YOU.

Tell your friends, the more people we have there, the longer we can keep the place to ourselves.

1 comment | post a comment

It's fucking cold outside. Okay, not so much cold as it is rainy--and I've just spent 45 minutes running around foolishly looking for the Social Law Library which I incidentally never found. What do I want? I want some damned hot chocolate. Enter the kitchen. A one, Allen Holland, or Jah as I like to call him is maniacally tinkering with the hot water spigot on the water cooler. (It's still called a water cooler even if it dispenses hot too, right?) So after I prepare my cup o' hot chocolate powder, and dawdle a bit... I begin to just observe. At last, he turns to me and inquires, "Do you know why this thing isn't working?" Surely enough, I do. Now, let me preface a bit... I work with lawyers... the kind of lawyers who don't like to be wrong, and especially don't like to seem unintelligent to people with nowhere near their education and/or experience. So what do I say to Mr. J. Allen Holland, Esq.? "The bottle is empty." Hah. Yeah, he is one of the nicer people in my office. Yeah, I could have been more tactful with my delivery... but c'mon. If the water bottle is empty, you're just not going to get anything. Forest for the trees much? Nothing like being a cheeky 23 year old without so much as a bachelors! Take that world!

In other news, it seems as though coming home for xmas is in the cards... likely in the period between December 19th and 29th. Michigan is giving back Dave tomorrow, I believe... and honestly, I'm trying sooo hard to not whine too much. I'm not doing so well though. I just don't want to be one of those girls who has nothing to talk about but said guy... and yet, am I entitled to some of that for at least a little while? Yeah, no, not really. Wednesday night I'm going to party it up with Nathan Lane! Well, maybe. I'm going to see Butley, in which Mr. Lane stars, at the good ol' Huntington Theater. Shortly afterwards, I'll be joining my long-time Huntington mates at the opening night party. Will Mr. Lane actually be both in attendance and accessible? Yet to be seen. However, I do know I'll be getting some free food and drink--and that's enough for me! Oh yeah, and multiple people I love with be there! Could it be any better? Not so much.

A bit about the 'Cab. They played for hours, seriously the longest set I've seen... and beautiful, it was. It's rare I'm fully satisfied for the entirety of a long show these days, but this was it. I had a great time. I felt intensely by myself, while overwhelmingly appreciative of my friends around me--and simultaneously connected to a band whom although I don't know personally, I know have been to my beloved home more recently than I. There's just this intangible connection when it comes to amazing music, and nothing seals that like the band saying, "We love rain, and we love mountains," and feeling every bit of those words. I needed those moments so much, especially last week. I am so terribly homesick. They played The Cure's Lovesong, and that was fucking hot. They played almost the entirety of Transatlanticism, and so many other beautiful-wonderful-I'm-going-to-cry-again-now songs. I wish you had been there. Except maybe I don't. I know if you know, you know... and if you don't, you don't... but I hope someday you will, because I know it means so much to those of us who do know.

Go sense making!

i ought to post about the death cab show. but we're out of heating oil, and i'm fucking cold. damn you, michigan! *shakes fist* maybe later. i can't believe how painfully i'm missing seattle, and a time long since passed. maybe i should go to bed now.

oh, and thank you, josh beckett!

o blissful precipitation, how much do I love you? little competes with the feeling of waking up to a window filled with brightly colored leaves and softly falling snowflakes. dear snow, thank you for coming today and letting me share the moment instead of my usual solitary adulation. love, megan.

dear coughing-sighing-chick-next-to-me-in-the-lab, STOP FUCKING POUNDING ON THE BACKSPACE KEY. it works just as well, if not better for longer, if you just tap it. regards, megan.

I <3 school. I whine about homework, and don't do nearly as much of it as I ought to... but truthfully, I looooove it. I want to jump my CS prof, except that would be bad. The papers I've written have merited fine grades, and one professor actually thanked me in her comments for my intellectual showing-off. again, thanked me for my intellectual showing-off. hot. i'm afraid of my next CS exam, but really that's about it.

home goes well. my roommates make me happy, and in very different ways. the only problem i've been facing is making myself do my schoolwork, and finding a place in which i can actually do this uninterrupted. not that i dislike interruption.

of course, the most omnipresent new thing is Dave. i could probably fill your screen with gushing, but then you'd hate me. and i'd hate me. that's what actual journals are for.

a few more letters:

dear nicole,
i <3 "fat stoner" even if you meant "eat scones".
love, megan.

dear heather,
yay asparagus, yay ricotta, yay you.
love, megan.

dear steven,
"an omnibus is a bus for everyone!"
"we need to find a victimless car... like a zipcar!"
thank you for endlessly keeping me rollin'
love, megan.

i wish i had words for elliott, and i thank the stars daily that we have his words. i'm just incapable of expressing how grievous I am. i am so sorry.

everything i've ever lost is burning anew.

He took me to dinner, and then we went and saw Pirates of the Caribbean at Harvard. Harvard kids suck. Pirates rock. He kissed me goodnight outside my door. I invited him upstairs. He's so dreamy. Hah.

So yesterday at work was a total bitch. I felt like ass from this cold I've got, and they had me running around insanely. Granted, my job is mostly to run around insanely--but you know how it goes. After five hours of constant running, I finally got to chill for a moment. Even though lawyers are rather dedicated, most bolt like everyone else at 5pm on a Friday. At around 5:30, one of the senior partners comes rushing into our area and looks at me and says, "How the hell do you get the lead out of this thing!!??" He proceeded to hand me a mechanical pencil with the lead advancer near the tip, and with a few clicks and a shake I had lead. I gave it back to him and he proclaimed, "YOU GOT IT!!" I do like credit where credit is due and all... but I think it's absolutely hilarious how so many smart adults in my life shout my praises for things of this nature. Ooh, I have a Missouri quarter! I hadn't seen one before!

UMB Academic Calendar

Date:	2003-09-30 11:31
Subject:	Subject: (required)
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah
Music:	the din of the purple lab

Clint and Brine are los heros.

Life is not nearly as fun through sneezes.

I think my roommate Dave is the absolute coolest for getting a cake for Heather and me, even if we've yet to eat it. (he's known us for 3 weeks, and he got us a cake!!! how cool is that?)

Our party went well. Few actually showed, but we had a good time. Seriously though, I live with four other people--we're a party by ourselves! Anyone else is icing!

I'm still a little heartbroken about not going to BTS last night. I know I made the right choice, and as unpleasant as it may be from time to time, school is just far more important. I hope Heathe and Steve had a good time, I crashed before they got home--so hopefully I can extract details tonight. There's just no way I would have done well on my CS exam if I'd gone. I didn't know this when I made the decision, but studying in the evening vs. post midnight was definitely key. I'm so glad to be in school. So glad. In fact, so glad I'll give up some of the most important things in my life. That's just how it is, isn't it?

I really, really want to go home for xmas. I just don't know if that's going to happen, but I so want to go home.

Occasionally my parents try and converse with me via IM. My dad doesn't type well, so it's usually pretty cryptic and strange--but I believe it pleases him, and that's the important part. He IMed me last night and said the brother of a good friend of his jumped off the Narrows Bridge last week. I searched it up, but I couldn't find anything at all about any recent jumps. I tried to get my dad to tell me if he was joking or not, but I couldn't figure it out from what he said. Plus, if it's true--it's pretty damn tragic, and you don't want the first thing you say to be, "Hahaha, good one, Dad!" I've definitely considered jumping off the Narrows while driving over it. Much the same way I get the impulse to cut myself when I pick up sharp knives. I don't do it, but the thought crosses my mind for a second. Jumping off the Narrows would just so not be fun, and seriously, logistically--how do you do that? Do you stop your car on the bridge, get out and jump? Do you stop your car elsewhere and walk to the bridge and jump? Wouldn't someone notice? Would they incarcerate you if they caught you attempting that? How quickly would you die? Wouldn't the fall kill you long before you hit the water? Can bodies be found like this? I have many more questions than answers. As soon as I know the answers, I'll go jump! Who's with me?

I'm not sure I've yet to make mention, and I'm feeling a little too lazy to go read my recent posts, but some shout outs are in order. (aside from the three I made at the beginning)

Aisling- you rock for sending me a postcard. you rock for sending me anything. i love you to death, and i miss you all the time.

Anthony- i <3 the cd. i <3ed the chips. i <3 you. thank you so much.

Heather- you brought me cannoli out of the goodness of your heart, and i SO thank you. mmm... cannoli

Dave(non-roommate)- you came to my party, and you've done so much for me lately. without you i'd feel a ton more lost. thank you for everything.

With that, adieu.

Does everyone aspire to greatness?

I motherfucking didn't watch the WW. Grrrrr. But I did hang out with Adam and Dave! At the Burren! At first I was annoyed by the comments regarding the attractive female personnel at the Burren, but then I realized something key: Hot female personnel brings in hot clientele, and I'm on the right side of the bar. So great to hang with those guys, some of my favorite people... seriously. If only Adam were easier to chill with, or maybe if only I were... either way, more!

I'm intensely psyched for BTS on Monday. I'm worried about my schoolwork and such, since I've got two exams next week--and we're having a party on Sunday. But damn. If I have idols, then Doug is top-tiered. I despise how after continuous outside influence I harbor guilt for really, really liking a popular (at least among my peers) band. I adore BTS. I remember hearing So & So on KGRG with Aisling, and I think that's as close as I've come to religious experience. Did Modest Mouse, SeBADoh and BTS score the changes in my life, or did I change as a result of these influences? I often eschew influences of import to my early teenage self, but some ought never be ignored. Aisling and Anthony, I wish you could be with me Monday night.

In other news, how much do I love CS? So much. How much do I not love hw2 being due Sunday, and the first exam Tuesday? So much. I also love Mr. Rogers and Mr. Mumaw. Why the hell didn't you tell me about the wonders of CS before? I have a bit of a crush on my professor too... I'd probably have a crush on you too if you were the first to introduce programming to me. And you were funny, and wore vans and carpenter jeans to class. Nothing is quite as attractive as excitement. Misery may love company, but so does passion. On that note, go see American Splendor right now. I don't care what time it is, force a theater to open and screen it just for you. I'm certain if they've seen it, they'll do this for you. Seriously, now.

You should no longer be reading this post. You should be digging for couch coins, just so you can offer the good moviehouse kids money to open at 4am and show you American Splendor. In the immortal words of the Godfather of Pizza, "Doooo iiiiiit!"

Huzzah!

One of the sample java thingers in CS today printed a line that said sth like "Change is inevitable, except from vending machines." I thought this was particularly appropriate due to my issues prior to CS on Tuesday... and slightly strange as well... almost as though SOMEONE ELSE IS CONTROLLING ME LIKE A HAMSTER WITH STRINGS... or not.

Things not to do: leave personal belongings in classrooms and/or computer labs.

Access at home today, folks! I'm going to do a Native American rain dance to ensure that goes smoothly. Please, please, please. I guess WCS I'll have a phone line for dial-up. But no one likes a phone-hogger, and I don't want to be one.

Dear RCN,

COME THE FUCK OVER RIGHT NOW GODDDAMNIT.

Yes, three (3) ds.

Stupid computer stupid science stupid homework stupid due stupid Sunday. I have no time for mistakes, they best set us up and set us up right. I'd really, really like to not have to use dial-up for lack of proper hardware or sth stupid like that.

P.S. Today is aggravating the crap out of me!

I left home slightly later than usual, and thusly arrived at school slightly later than I'd have liked. Although this oughtn't be a problem, it meant I didn't have time to wait in the line for coffee. I'm thinking, "Gee Megan, you probably don't necessitate coffee. Just deal with it." So I head toward class, and spy three shiny, bright soder machines. I think, "Alright, no coffee--but diet coke will do." Nope. None of the machines will take my freakin' dollar bill, and in my desperation I figure I'll try the non-soda machines as well. I'm thinking I'll give my dollar to a non-soda machine, and then back out hopefully getting my money back in coin. Machines go like this:

[snacks][icecream][cokeisit][cokeisit][cokeisit]

So after trying all three of the soda machines, I slide over the next machine. In my haste I chose the godddamn ice cream machine. Who the hell needs an ice cream machine in a building full of classrooms? I admit, it wasn't wise but what happened, but I was looking for MOTHERFUCKING CAFFEINE. So anyway, obviously the problem is not that my plan didn't work--it was that the ice cream machine doesn't give back your money once you've inserted it. Stupid machine. There is a nice non-descript button next to the coin-hole, but obviously this isn't the button I need. It's just a decoy to make me think it's the button I need. In the end the real killer was the little sticker from the company that provides the machines to my school, "If you're not satisfied with our machines, get your money back--guaranteed!" I then kicked the machine, sat down on the floor crying and threw the contents of my bag at passersby.

Okay, no. I went to CS, and I almost fell asleep. Luckily I was able to open my eyes rilly, rilly wide regularly and remained totally awake the whole time... but I'm pretty sure I heard nothing. Then I got coffee afterward, and fuck if i'm not still sleepy.

Off to class, I am!

Moral: Lack of caffeine does not a happy girl make.

sidenote: since when does eljay think "didn't" is an incorrect spelling?

Quit the Gap.
Start work with Katie at Lynch, Brewer, Hoffman and Fink tomorrow... and I'm totally unsure of that spelling.
RCN brings us cable, phone, and internet in a week.
I have a talking Alf doll.
I like school.
I need to work harder at school.
My computer feels like an abandoned husk without innernetage. ("The computer IS the network.")
I love living with Heath, Steve-o, Nicole, and Dave.
We're hosting a party on the 28th.
Confusion and change all over the walls.
Word.

Thank you:

Joey
Josh
Brian
Andrea
"Anonymous"
Erin

May your 23rd birthday go unnoticed by me:

the rest.

It's my birthday! I expect NUMEROUS posts in my honor. I'm finally the same age as Mr. Vinson! Haw.