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Back June 2005
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BDSM Meta-Discussion & Community
known_pleasures
[info]bdsm
[info]known_pleasures
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Hi, we've recently joined this community and thought we should provide a small introduction to who we are and the nature of our relationship. I have been a subbie to my Master since summer 2003 and my relationship with Master G has gone from strength to strength.

I've always been a sub. When I was 12 I used to fantasise about my Humanities teacher keeping me back for detention then raping me over his desk. The thought of being pinned down and violated really did it for me. I became more and more perverted and before I was 16 I was dreaming of being tortured, raped and humiliated.

The story continued )
We've discovered a mutual love of watersports, enemas, scat, fisting, blood, and loads of other stuff. We STILL haven't found any limits! We're both dying for me to fuck a dog but it's very hard to meet people into this who have their own dog!

My job is to serve my Master whenever I'm told to, to be perverted at all times and to look out for women for my Master to fuck. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life, feel totally fulfilled and am deeply in love.

So that's us.

sub_l
wanderlust03
[info]bdsm
[info]wanderlust03
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Apologies
Made an somewhat off topic posts here earlier. Was going to be a proper gent and delete it, but gone already. So sorry. Even Dominants can apoligize. Have an excellent evening.

Current Mood: contrite

sunrising86
[info]bdsm
[info]sunrising86
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Gone for the summer
For various reasons, Master and I will not be able to see each other over the summer. He wants me to tell him how I can continue to submit to him over the summer. And frankly, I don't know how. Help! How can I still submit to him over the summer? Pictures? Stories?

x-posted.
lil_d456
[info]bdsm
[info]lil_d456
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Power Exchange?
I have a question about "Power Exchange". I must admit to having difficulty understanding this approach to D/s or M/s relationships. The words Power Exchange seem to imply that each person exchanges some degree of personal power to the other person.

In my situation, I give power(I prefer the words control or accountability) over to my Owner, but I don't view our situation as one in which I receive any power back from her. Am I misinterpreting the meaning of this turn of phrase, or do people actually consider this situation to be an "exchange"?

Curious minds would like to know :)

X-Posted
jimbo4927
[info]bdsm
[info]jimbo4927
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a question
Ok so my sub and I aren't 24/7 soI accept that. ok so this weekend she went out of townand again I am ok with that. but she got with this guy and she let him fist her again im ok with it but,he hurt her and scrape her up a little and caused her a great deal of pain. and when w eplay she asks that we be careful( we are both new) and baby steps are important. so this guy hurts her. and im upset now being a new dom should I punish her or just let it go? and if you think htis question is notimportant just dont reply but im losing sleep over it , part of me is angry and the other part doesn't know if i should be? can someone help me sort this out?
twilightfalls13
[info]bdsm
[info]twilightfalls13
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How do you deal with this question?
Master and I were having dinner at my college reunion when the subject of BDSM came up. The female half of the other couple at our table was talking about my college's BDSM clubs, and began talking about how while she has no problems with what people do in the privacy of their own relationships she's always been troubled by the fact that most of her friends who are in to such things were abused as children. So it bothers her that these "damaged people" (her term, not mine) would chose to express their sexuality in this way.

I talked to her a bit about empowerment and the idea that these friends might simply be trying to take something bad from their pasts and turn it around so that they now control it. I also talked about the idea that just because someone was abused does not mean they are damaged forever, and maybe her friends' interests in BDSM have nothing to do with what happened to them as children.

I feel that this comment about BDSM is something I run in to a lot, and it's something that really bothers me. I often have trouble expressing how I feel when this issue is raised because it is sort of close to me. I was wondering if anyone else has run in to such comments, and what they have said in response when they have.
rakshanda
[info]bdsm
[info]rakshanda
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Looking for rope, locks, links
Question: I am having difficulty finding a couple of items. I am looking for a source for cotton rope, about 3/4". All I can find are clothesline ropes with that plastic core. Fine for hanging clothes. Not so good for bondage.

We have an assortment of locks, all with different keys. I am looking for an collection of four to eight locks (small size) that all use the same key.

Does anybody have a link with instructions on doing the rope harness for the lower body (male and female)

Thanks for your help.
rakshanda
[info]bdsm
[info]rakshanda
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Looking for ideas...
Hello, I just joined. You can't tell it by my current icon, but I am a bi woman who is a switch (mostly sub, tho). My issue is that my BF is a switch and I have some difficulty giving him what he needs if he is in a submissive mood (more often lately) and I am not in a dominant mood.

I have tried to get ideas from books and web sites by femmedommes (sp?) but they are not what I am looking for. They seem to go for the whole "bitch goddess" deal and that is not me. Their clients are into much heavier stuff than we are.

What he likes: teasing and denial, dirty talk, watching me modeling/posng/strutting/dancing, mild humiliation, spanking, tight bondage. He would like me to "make" him do things (things he wants to do anyway - hehe).

Part of the problem is that I have depression and low self-esteem and I am always second-guessing myself. If I try something that doesn’t work out, I kick myself over it and lose any confidence I had. Also, we have been together for 15 years and it’s really tough to find something novel. Any recommendations for web sites that can help me with scene ideas?
forgotten0men
[info]bdsm
[info]forgotten0men
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New around here
Hello,

I just joined. I am also a bit new to lj in general. I have been interested in BDSM for a good amount of my life and have acted out some. Having looked at some of the posts and read the rules of the community, I like this place already. I have been wanting to find a place to have serious discussions about the lifestyle. Now, to tell you a bit more about myself. I started looking a bit more into BDSM about four years ago. It started (in my opinion) the wrong way; I started chatting on IRC. My wife started chatting too. In the chat rooms I was a sub. I had always thought myself a sub until my wife and I started exploring and playing out fantasies more. It was then that I became more dominant. Before I talk more on this, I will say that my wife and I are separated, and I don't want this to sound like a sob story. I am coming to terms with the high certainty that we will probably get divorced. I will stop there on that subject. I went back to school and my interest in BDSM was put aside. Although it was something I thought I could share with my wife to strengthen our relationship, I find myself unable to ignore it anymore. I had been a bit ashamed of my interest, thinking that it was unnatural or too deviant. Now I am embracing it. I want to explore it more, but I am not sure where to begin. I would like this community to be a starting place and like I said before, I think it will be.

Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: The Doors - The End

[info]bdsm
[info]subservient_lez
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I have known for a long time that I am submissive, the problem is that in my relationships, I tend to end up taking a dominant role because I tend to end up with other submissive people. It is difficult to find compatible people because I am a lesbian, and submissive. I have been very unhappy in relationships because of this. The other problem is that I am not sure where my limits are because I have not had a an experienced relationship with someone dominant. I am wondering if there is anyone out there who has been in this situation and perhaps has a resource on how I could find more dominant lesbians who would be interested in taking on someone who is inexperienced, but easily trainable. Thank you for reading...:-)

Current Mood: nervous

ladyliberal
[info]bdsm
[info]ladyliberal
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flagging?
Does anyone know any good sites to find flagging/hanky code charts?
sarah9380
[info]bdsm
[info]sarah9380
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Dominant Masochist?
I've been kind of struggling with this idea. I am definitly a masochist...absolutely love it. But I'm also definitly not a submissive. I haven't done much with it, but I believe I enjoy being a Dom...I know I especially like to tell a partner to hurt me...especially knowing it's not necessarily in his nature to want to do so (as in he's not necessarily a sadist but just doing it because he knows I like it and wants to please me). I've been dabbling with this for years, but I've just kind of looked at the BDSM community from the outside, wondering if I fit in...

Has anyone ever known a Dom masochist or have any ideas on the subject?

Thanks
vampyric_lyric
[info]bdsm
[info]vampyric_lyric
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New in the community
Hello everyone. I've just joined the community, so I figured I'd start out like most other people and give a little bit of background.
I'm a female bisexual Domme/pseudo-Switch. I've been in a couple D/s relationships and had a fairly wide variety of experiences. For the past two and a half years, I've been in a relationship with a boy I love very much.
Alright, enough background. My dilema is this:
At the start our relationship, I started slowly introducing my partner to D/s play, and training him to be a sub. This went well for about a year; our play was never as intense as I would have liked, but I love him and would never force him to do anything he wasn't comfortable with. However, over the past year, he started encouraging me to be a switch. I gave it a shot, and I can enjoy it when I'm in the right mindset, but that doesn't happen as much as he wants it to. I find that he's submitting to me less and less and really trying to persuade me to submit to him more and more. When I'm in the right mood for it, I do enjoy our play sessions with him as the top, although never as much as I enjoyed being the Dominant one.
How do I go about telling him this, and what do I do if he won't back down? I hate that our play sessions are so often becoming a power struggle. If anyone has any suggestions, or has ever been in a similar situation, I'd love the input. Thanks!

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Music: Cradle of Filth- Bestial Lust

sunrising86
[info]bdsm
[info]sunrising86
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Introduction and question...
Hi there,
I'm new to the lifestyle. I know that it takes time to learn things properly, so I'm asking questions...but first, let me introduce myself.

Currently, I identify as a female submissive. I've had this interest for years, but only acted for it on the first time last fall. I have had two masters in the last six months, which I know is not long. The first was not safe. I unwittingly followed his every whim, without any thought of my safety. After all, I was the sub, right? I had no safeword, no way to tap out, no limits. Looking back, it scares me shitless to think of what could have happened. My current master is interested in D/s, and not a lot of pain (thank god), but we have a solid agreement on safety. I'm enjoying being his toy very, very much. But my mind often wanders. Not only to being Dominant, but to being with women also. So, I'm beginning to see myself as a switch. And helpful hints would be greatly appreciated. Books or experience? I would greatly appreciate any help Y'all/y'all can give me.

Current Mood: curious