Holy Survivor gets Pitch-slapped

The Pitch Weekly is not the most reliable source of information. I know this from personal experience, as someone to whom I am close was somewhat involved in one of their hit pieces. So anytime I read it, I give it the credibility it deserves... a bit better than the World Weekly News... a bit worse than the National Enquirer. So it's tough to know what to make of the recent article calling into question the accounts given by flash flood survivor Robert Rogers.

To be certain, Rogers' calm demeanor and lack of open grieving looked a bit peculiar. Unfortunately, we've gotten used to TV camera crews pushing their lenses in the face of distraught victims of tragedy within minutes of their misfortune. Then we castigate anyone who doesn't react the way we want or expect them to. This was certainly the case with Rogers.

There can be no doubt that Rogers has taken his tragedy and turned it into a semi-successful ministry. There is also no doubt that Rogers did not shy away from his 15-minutes of fame. The Pitch does it's best to make all aspects of this look sinister through subtle or not-so-subtle suggestions.... e.g., he's "overdressed" when meeting with a group (gosh, he must be making lotsa cash then, huh?) and the description of the investigating officer crying at night while Rogers is singing and praising God. The Pitch fails miserably in finding anything that actually calls into question what happened that night, but again does it's best to suggest something awful is afoot.

I suppose it's great fun for some to try to tear apart this guy. Maybe there's something there, maybe not. What I do believe with great certainty is that the main reason the Pitch was so interested in belching forth this slam-piece is that the guy ended up dealing with his tragic circumstances by becoming devout and placing his fate in the hands of God. The folks at the Pitch, avowed secularists, just hate this.

If Rogers had become a devotee of Wicca, or if he claimed to channel his dead wife and kids, or if he had an out-of-body experience and learned that the creator was a giant space lizard, the Pitch would likely be singing his praises. Hell, they might even hire him to write for them.

Clinton eyes head... of UN Post

Bill Clinton's desire (errr...so to speak) to run the UN has reared it's ugly head (a poor choice of words on my part) again. Thank goodness for Bill Clinton. Recently, the Democrats have not been able to provide anyone with the ability to amuse like big Bill in his heyday (instant poll question... who's more wooden, Al Gore or John Kerry?) I'm just glad that Clinton has been able, by floating this rumor again, to find a way to steal away some of the attention that his party's candidate for president has been getting. It must be tough for Bill to be in the background while Kerry lumbers around making a mess of things. In fact, I just don't think it's possible for William J. Clinton to resist trying to get a little of the spotlight. A Kerry presidency might well drive him to distraction.

The UN head position (so to speak) would solve a lot of problems for our amorous ex-chief exec. It would provide Bill with a great opportunity to set up a diverse, world-wide internship program (hubba hubba, Bubba). It would certainly get him out of the sight of Hillary so that he can pursue those things that he does best. I'll bet he'd have to make plenty of "fact finding" trips to Amsterdam to consult with scantilly-clad blond opinion-makers in the saunas. Yes... what the world needs now is love, sweet love... as can only be provided by the Arkansas love machine himself.
I can just see Bill hopping onto a UN jet singing a variation of the Beach Boys classic "California Girls"... "The MiddleEast chicks are hip, I really dig those burkas they wear..."

Actually, if JF Kerry wins the Presidency, Clinton would be an amusing and potentially helpful choice to run the UN. Given that Kerry wants a "global test" to occur before we defend ourselves, perhaps Bill Clinton could be the proctor for this examination. And if we are lucky enough to have another Clinton sexcapade occurring at the time of a threat to our nation, at least Clinton will not hestitate to urge the world act militarily to divert attention from his inappropriate amorous exploits. This may, in fact, be the only manner in which military force would be used in a Kerry administration.

The Joy of Negative Political Ads

It's once more down to the most enlightening part of the political season - the final weeks during which negative ads seem to multiply faster than bacteria. We find out a lot during this period. Not usually much about the issues. But a great deal about how the finest minds in the persuasion business think we'll best be swayed.

I just returned from visiting Florida. The Sunshine State has now become one very large negative advertisement. I'm not surprised that the presidential race is tightening in Florida (Realclearpolitics.com just moved it from "leaning Bush" to "toss-up"). The Kerry and DNC ads are everywhere on TV, all the time, and last week clearly outnumbered the Bush ads. The Kerry ads are surprisingly lacking in creativity - the same old thing really... ominous music, unflattering photos of Bush, and hyperbolic messages seeking to scare pensioners. The less numerous Bush ads were interesting; the one that got the most play was clearly targeted at women (the "security moms" are big in Florida?) It was also sneaky in that it flies a bit under the radar. It starts out with a lady driving her car with her kids in the backseat and doesn't have the feel of a political ad at all. Before you can garner your defenses, you're listening along with the woman to an announcer talking on the radio about how Kerry has and will raise your taxes. You hear the woman's thoughts as she's driving, such as "A tax on married people, I don't need that!" Well, for Gawd's sake, who does? Bush's ad was better, but Kerry is outspending the Prez in Florida by my very informal assessment, and the race is beginning to look as disturbingly close as it was in 2000.

Locally in KC, I've been amused by the Emmanuel Cleaver vs. Jeanne Patterson brawl for the KC congressional seat. Emmanuel (BTW, I've seen several of her high quality films on Cimemax) should be a shoe-in for this seat given his ability to garner an overwhelming percentage of the African-American vote. I haven't seen much in the way of negative advertising by him either, which tells me he may feel confortable with his position. Patterson, the tall solidly built (big boned?)spouse of the Cerner CEO, could obviously whup Cleaver in a fistfight. (Hmmm, don't most rich CEO's buy their spouses a little novelty shop of some kind to keep them busy as opposed to a seat in Congress?) Anyway, Big Jeanne's ads are pretty good. On TV, there's an interactive scrapbook filled with Cleaver's failures as KC Mayor. On the radio, there's lots of talk about how Cleaver misused funds and how he mismanaged his carwash business (Jeez, Emmanuel, hire a CPA for crissake!) Big back taxes owed, failing to pay worker's comp for his employees, it all looks pretty tawdry. Don't look for this to work - KC ain't sending a Republican to Congress even if Cleaver were found to be the Prospect serial killer.

The Governor's race in Missouri features Matt Blunt's ads using photos of Claire McCaskill that simply make her look unattractive and bitchy (although it may be hard to find photos of Claire that lack this quality). But McCaskill's ads are clearly better from a negative standpoint. To hear her ads, Blunt hasn't shaved yet and is still trying to figure out who he's taking to the prom. Again, one gets the impression that Claire could easily kick young Matt's arse if they met in a back-alley.

I hear many of the pundits discuss the evils of these ads. Screw them. I love these things. There's nothing more entertaining than a good fight. In a time of danger and war, I want someone in guvmint who can gouge eyes, yank a handful of hair, and pull that mysterious shiny metal thing out of his or her trunks to win their match. My hope is that we can one day see a Claire\Jeanne mud-wrestling bout... wouldn't that be fun.

Kansas City's "Think Big" Proposition

Kansas Citians will soon be voting to decide whether to pay a sales tax to support the arts and to refurbish Arrowhead and Kaufman Stadiums. There are many, surprisingly, in the sports community who seem not to be in favor of this proposition. Let me clarify, there are many in the sports radio business who seem to be arguing against the initiative.

These sports talk gurus want to defeat this proposal in favor of building a new downtown baseball park. Their opposition is naive at best. If this proposal is rejected by the voters, why in the world would one believe another proposal for a downtown stadium would be right around the corner? The truth is, it wouldn't. The defeat of this proposal will have a chilling effect on those wishing to advocate future sports-related ventures. What will happen is that we will have neither a new downtown ballpark nor renewed and improved facilities at the Truman Sports Complex.

The right thing to do is to fix the "K" and Arrowhead, bringing them up to 21st century standards. If, in 15 years, the taxpayers want to support a new downtown ballpark, great. To vote against this ammendment allows our current facilities to deteriorate further, and derails the momentum the city gained in passing the proposal for the Sprint Center.

I know it sounds good to blather on and on about a wonderful shiny new baseball park downtown, but it ain't happening. It also seems to be the idea of some in the KC sportstalk business that blind-siding and attacking an ailing Lamar Hunt makes for good radio. It most assuredly doesn't. Hunt is a visionary who has made real what you radio morons can only talk (unknowledgeably)about. Get off his back, nitwits. Here's hoping that the thinking public will indeed "think big" and vote "yes".

O'Reilly Lawyer: 'Put Up or Shut Up' - ABC News

From what I've read, Andrea Mackris isn't accusing Big Bill of much... she doesn't state that he touched her, groped her, or even that he utilized a cigar in a creative manner. She says that he suggested she use a vibrator during a dinner conversation, which caused the obviously virtuous Ms. Mackris to turn red. Is this the stuff of a $62 million claim? If so, what was the other Big Bill's (i.e., Clinton) antics worth - approximately the size of the national debt?

To be fair (as we always strive to be), Ms. Mackris also says that BOR wanted her to engage in some sort of phone sex (maybe he wanted to hear the buzzing of the vibrator?) A few questions come to mind immediately... like why continue to go to dinner with BOR, or why return to employment with FOXnews once one had extracated oneself from such an awful circumstance.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Business/story?id=181369

Vikings are this year's KC Chiefs

There is an interesting blog called Midwest Sports Rubes that I check in on every once and a while. These guys seem to be Minnesota Vikings fans, which is only slightly less frustrating than rooting for the Kansas City Chiefs (except that the Chiefs falter in the playoffs, while the Vikes generally fall apart in the second half of the season.)

BTW, here is their blog.

Anyway, there is no doubt that Minnesota is this year's KC. Great "O". No "D". If they don't fade earlier, they are ripe to be picked apart by any of the upper eschelon teams with decent defenses.

So enjoy your success now. You are long-suffering football fans who deserve some joy. But we in KC can already tell you how the season will likely end... and we speak from sorry experience.

Gore's Legacy of Lawyers

You know that regardless of the outcome (especially if the outcome is a Bush victory) hoardes of lawyers will descend upon any state that is remotely close to contest the legitimacy of the 2004 presidential election. How terribly tragic! Our system has been unalterably weakened because Al Gore was unable to accept defeat. There exists a thin line between a rational transition of power and anarchy, and the Democrats of 2000, lacking the grace of even Richard Nixon, have erroded this line to thickness of rice paper.

As a resident of Missouri, I'm continually amazed at the desperateness to hold on to or acquire political power that is evident in this state. Holding the polls in St. Louis open for hours past the proper closing time to pad the vote for Dead Mel Carnahan and Al Gore was bad enough. Now we are being told that so many people have registered in the state that the percentage nears 100% of all eligibles. One hundred percent! Does anyone honestly believe that this is occuring without all manner of fraud? Look for more shenanigans in Kansas City and St. Louis this year. It's just how the Democratic party in Missouri operates.

It may be a long time before we see another election without legal wrangling and manipulation. And it may be even longer before more than half of the electorate believes the results of the election are legitimate. Thanks Al. I hope you believe it was worth it.