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Diamanda

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[29 Jan 2005|06:22pm]
So I've lost 68lbs so far. On the door to 70. Holy fucking shit right? All this time I've still been wearing the clothes that I've had since surgery. They are all loose but nothing falls off. Not even my jeans. So I'm like what the hell maybe I look like I'm losing but I'm not?
I keep meaning to go to stores and try on jeans and stuff just to see where I'm at but I never have time and especially no money to buy something I know I'm going to end up trying to get if I like it and it fits.
So today I finally decide maybe I should try on some of my moms clothes now. Luckily she isn't the size 0 she used to be. So her current size is more like a halfway point to my goal. So I come over to my parents and raid her closet. I try on her pants and they FUCKING FIT. I can't tell you how absolutely happy that made me. My mom thought I was like a little giddy school girl. I was running around in her little shoes and dress pants going look at me look at me! Even went to my dad and was like, dude look, I'm wearing moms clothes and I look GOOD! :P
So I've officially dropped 10 mother fucking dress sizes! WOOHOO! :) I'm on a roll.
13 lovers| give me sex!

[17 Jan 2005|09:22pm]
Well, here for some updating. I had a doctors appt. today for the WLS. We ended up putting in more salene in the band because I'm eating too much. It went much better this time and he hit the port in one shot although I'm still all bruised up. At least this time I wasn't laying there poked and prodded for nearly two hours in tears. Now I can start losing way more weight again. It had started slowing down pretty badly the last three months.

School starts this week. I'm so excited. My last classes and all. I can finally move on with my career. Living with Jason is still nice. No fights so far.

And for some TMI...

I had to clean sperm off my couch today. Unfortunately no I didn't have any sort of good loving and Jason had no happy accidents. It was disgusting and it was doggy sperm. I swear to god Jason's dog is the most horny nasty ass dog I have ever encountered. It's worse than a drunken hillbilly. Today was the worst though. Do dogs get blue balls? All night long he kept panting really hard and WOULD NOT leave my dog(male) alone and kept crying and whining trying to hump him. I'm neutering that damn thing I swear to god. He is like always humping my dog. My dog is neutered though so maybe no balls mistakes him for a girl? Oddly Jasons dog doesn't hump from the back he always grabs hold of my dogs head and tries to hump his mouth. WEll I was on the couch and they were biting/playing around and i guess i hadn't noticed he was trying to hump my dog again and I turned around and I saw him going away at my dogs face and I was reaching over to push him off and this stuff started squirting out onto my couch. I about died. I was just mortified that he violated my dog and my couch like that. I'm soooooo cutting that suckers balls off before the end of the month. I just ain't having that.
5 lovers| give me sex!

[09 Jan 2005|03:22pm]
So tired. Jason is at work so I have some time to sit around. He helped me fix and install the ceiling fan that's been sitting in the ceiling with rod that was too long so I finally got a hacksaw and a drill with metal bits to fix it. Next Sunday we should be able to work on the storm door and help with insulation a little. The door knobs were freezing and locking us out or not able to lock it when we left so I bought new ones. He liked the dish so much we opened a new account and had a guy come out to put up a new box after having the other one closed out last week. He likes that instead of waiting for commercials with the DVR he can just pause the movie and go do something and come back. Then he doesn't have a cell phone and i'm not always around for him to use my phone I went ahead and opened up a new phone line and added the net to it since dialup is only 10 dollars so I'm back around here.
I don't know what my dogs deal is. He was doing great when it was just me and him. Granted he got meaner and more possessive which isn't good, but he NEVER went to the bathroom on the floor anymore and always whined at me when he needed to go out. Now that Jason and his dog are here, he is constantly trying to crap on the floor like he did when my roomates and the cats were here. I dunno what his deal is but I'm gonna have to go back to putting him in his cage all the time.
I have my WLS docotor appointment tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to this one. While I've lost weight it isn't as much as he would probably like. I went a little haywire over the holidays, but who can blame me? Hopefully he doesn't feel the need to inject any salene into me. I dread that so much.
I have my last classes coming up so I'm so happy about that. I was offered an internship working with movies(shooting and stuff) and editing and picking out soundtracks. So awesome but as an internship with no pay, I need a job that does pay and they needed me 8-5 like my current job, so I had to decline. They kept my stuff and gave me their number and told me to please call back when I graduate because I'm exactly the kind of person they were looking for. That totally made my dad to be told that. So I'm exciting about the career ahead of me. :)

I guess that's it for now.
1 lover| give me sex!

[30 Dec 2004|11:46pm]
Well it's certainly been a while. I'm doing ok. Jason called me today and he plans on moving in. I have to somehow get Raven and Chris's stuff out though so he can move in. I don't know if they are able to come down and get it or not but I can't keep Jason out when he could be helping me with my bills. Christmas was nice. My dad was sick of me kicking him off his computer here at home to print/scan stuff for my homework so he bought me my own copier/scanner/printer in one for my house. So that's pretty cool. My mom got me a bottle of the Britney Spears "Curious" perfume. It actually smells really freaking good. I'm glad she got it. I got lots of other good thinks but those were the two big ones. Oh and one that I don't really keep but I'm going to be an aunt. My brothers girlfriend is pregnant and while in a way I'm happy I'll have a little neice/nephew, my brother isn't really all that well off to be taking care of a kid. So I hope he finds a job quick and takes responsibility for once. I'd hate for my mom to have to raise another kid, especially one that isn't hers. Such hard work.

Anyways, I need to get to bed. I have to go back to my house tomorrow and meet with Jason and shoot off some fireworks at night :).
6 lovers| give me sex!

[15 Nov 2004|06:47pm]
Eh, I havn't been around this thing or my computer for a while. I've been so busy with school and work. I just finished filming for my final project in video class this weekend. It was really fun and I think I had some great actors so this should turn out really good. Other than that I've been trying to play GTA San Andreas when I have time. I've been having my teeth worked on and in two weeks my teeth should be perfect. They are pretty white now after the whole bleaching thing. And I'm down 60 lbs so yay for me. I feel so slow and like I'm undetermined or something when I see that Emily and Kay have lost so much more than me and in less time but I know they had very different surgeries and mine is just going to be slower for me but it was the right path for me to take. I'm still very happy with my progress and how far I've come and I'm always looking at myself in the mirror like a dork :P.

Anyhow, I think that takes care of everything I've been doing.
7 lovers| give me sex!

[16 Oct 2004|12:29am]
Anyone around the dallas areas...

They will be showing one of my short films at the Angelika movie theater in Dallas Sunday at 12:30 pm. It will be shown with some other short films for the Deep Ellum Film Festival, so if you around here, go! It's good stuff, I promise.

I finished editing my group movie project tonight. I think it's really good. I did a good job editing and putting it to music, so go me.

Anyhow, I'm about to pass out so adios.
4 lovers| give me sex!

[09 Oct 2004|11:27pm]
Well my birthday is officially over in 30 minutes. It was okay I. I'm guessing it's getting to that age where I just get over the fact that people forget or it's not much of a day anymore. I didn't expect gifts or anything. I don't really need anything, but the only people who remembered and said happy birthday or gave me a card were my parents of course and one of my good friends that I hadn't even talked to in like forever which made me feel good. My best friend didn't even call or anything which I'm actually kind of hurt by. The girls at work didn't do anything which did suprise me since 3 other girls had birthdays this same week and we decorated their desks and gave them cards and I come in to nothing. So I went to my parents and since we had no money to go out and do anything we ordered a pizza and a couple of movies off pay per view and had key lime pie for a birthday cake. Well that was my day and now I'm just gonna enjoy the rest of the night alone(as my roomates are in Missouri) and play with Tino.
8 lovers| give me sex!

[07 Oct 2004|06:47pm]
Well, they let me take Tino home today. He seemed to be more peppy today and up and about and they gave him food and water and he didn't vomit yet so that's a good sign. They wanted me to bring him home and get him out of the cage they had him in to see how he would do. So far he's been walking around and pottying outside and sleeping on his blanket. So I'm very pleased with how he is doing. I've got enough money to cover some of the costs for him AND buy groceries AND be able to pay my parents back the 100 I borrowed for last weeks bills when I had to take Tino in to the hospital. So I'm quite happy. I even had money to buy him a crate for here at home when I have to go to work or to the store so just in case he can potty in that and not get beaten up by the cats. Saturday is my birthday so I'm thoroughly excited about his return home and hope he doesn't have to go back. For now they left the catheter in just in case he relapses while at home. If he does good by tomorrow then I take him back in to be checked and they will take the catheter out.

So... YAY! :)
1 lover| give me sex!

[05 Oct 2004|03:40pm]
Well I talked to the lady who gave me the dog and she was able to get the vet to charge me no more than 300 dollars for as long as it takes him to get well. So that's a relief. She is also paying half of that and I already put down 100 dollars. So I won't need as much help as I previously thought, but of course something else always happens that makes up for the money I save. So I went to see Tino before I went to the dentis. Then on my way home from the dentist a big ass 18wheelers wheels flung a rock at my windsheild and cracked it. So... that's about anywhere from 100-300 dollars which more than makes up for the savings that I got from the vet with Tino. So yeah, yay for the fucked up shit that always keeps you down, heh. :P
1 lover| give me sex!

[04 Oct 2004|08:57pm]
Well Tino seemed to be doing a bit better today. From when I took him in anyways. I got him to eat some of the food they put in his cage and held him a bit. Poor thing is all shakey, but at least he was up and about. He probably thinks I adandoned him right away. This treatment will probably end up costing around 500 dollars or so. I called the adoption center I got him from and while I would really love for them to pay for all of it they said that they would help out the best they could with it but don't have all that much to put in since they are a non profit organization. She said as a non profit they usually get good discounted rates for rescuing animals and the last dog she dealt with that had parvo the vet charged just a flat rate of 300 dollars for the whole week. So she is going to call them tomorrow and see what deals we can get out of them to lower the rate on the treatment. I've already put down 100 on the deposit so I hope she will consider that.

I know I've never done this before but it means a lot and if I have to pay more than I can really afford I'm probably going to ask if anyone could help donate to pay for his treatment. So when and if it comes to asking even a dollar would be very appreciative and helpful. I knew I didn't have the money when I let them take him but I couldn't put him to sleep without a fighting chance. I'll keep updating on this for anyone who is interested in helping. Thanks.
4 lovers| give me sex!

[03 Oct 2004|01:50pm]
So I've been searching for a chihuahua to adopt this past week and the girls at work and my roomate gave me the money as early birthday presents to pay for the adoption. I got a little boy names Valentino(Tino for short). I picked him up and he was just so happy and loveable and just the cutest thing you ever did see. The foster mom said he had had a cold and they had treated him for it so he was just hacking here and there. I immediately got attached and he was doing so good, playing, running, eating, and such. Then early this morning around 3-4am he started puking. I thought maybe he got into something, or was overly excited playing around and stuff. But when I woke up around 9-10 he wouldn't really move, or eat, or drink. He looked so depressed and sick so I called the foster mom to ask if he acted like that when he was sick with the cold and she said no but with the vomiting I need to go to the vet hospital because one of their dogs died the other day from parvo and they didn't think Tino had gotten it but now it was possibility. So I take him to the hospital today at 12pm and they do the tests and give him some stuff that ends up costing me 195.00 and then tell me his parvo test came out positive and that just destroyed me. They think he has a pretty good chance of living but with parvo you never know so they are keeping him for a few days and keeping him on IV and antibiotics to see how he does. This is going to cost me out of my ass and I don't even know if I can ever afford it but putting him to sleep without that chance of survival is not something I can do. My mom says with parvo she isn't very hopeful of him being able to survive and the parvo treatment is going to be WAY more expensive than even what I'm having to cough up just to bring him there and I should just let him be put to sleep but I just can't. I don't know. I told her I would go check on him after work tomorrow and if he has not improvement then I will discuss that option with them. I'm just so heartbroken. I hope he comes out of this alive.
I'm going to ask that fostering shelter to pay for all or at least help with the cost because they didn't even let me know about the exposure to parvo, otherwise I would have held off on taking him or not taken him at all just to be sure I didn't get attached to a dog who will just die.
So yeah... I guess this could be a great birthday coming up.
2 lovers| give me sex!

[24 Sep 2004|05:29pm]
So. Busy, busy, busy. Work is work, school is going fine. I got the idea for my film. It will just be a comedic domestic arguement we all usually end up having. Hopefully it will turn out okay.

I went to the dentist yesterday. I hadn't been in over 10 years. So they checked my teeth and stuff. They were actually rather impressed with how well my teeth had been doing despite not going to a dentist for over 10 years. I do have a few cavities starting up but she said they are like pen dot sized. I am going back in 2 weeks to have them filled to keep them from getting bigger. Other than that I'm great. I swear they must have said it like 50 times that my mouth was so incredibly small and they couldn't believe it. They could hardly work on my teeth and the instrument they stick in your mouth to take x-rays nearly choked me to death. When I had braces they removed four of my teeth because my mouth was so small and they wanted to make sure there was room for the wisdom teeth. Well this lady says there isn't even room for them either so I need to go ahead and get them removed before they impact my other teeth. Great. A mouth so small I have to have 8 teeth total removed hehe. It's amazing how much food I can fit in there though.

Hmmm... I guess there is nothing else. I've lost a little over 50 lbs now and I have my doctors appointment next month to check my progress and stuff.

Well class should start here in a second so I guess I better get off.
1 lover| give me sex!

[14 Sep 2004|05:39pm]
I'm in the process of generating new ideas for my short film. Some things have come up with it and the story and I would still love to shoot it but I don't think it's going to happen. So I'm working on just finding SOME sort of story I can do.
Perhaps comedy? I was always better at making people laugh anyways.

Going off the same actors and sort of story I had before I could possibly have the two get into an arguement over like the toilet paper roll constantly being put on wrong by the guy or the toilet seat is always left up and she falls in and get so fed up she like packs her bags and leaves and then while each in their own place they do one those really cool singing the same song in different location things like in Magnolia. Then somehow they work things out, whatever.

Sounds goofy enough for me :P. Who said I had to be brilliant to make a movie anyways. Oh well. There will be other opportunities.

I have to cook baked cabbage tonight for my work lunch spread tomorrow. Gonna be some good ass food. :)

Then I have school tomorrow too. Man, this class isn't all that fun. I finished my homework but I keep looking at it and thinking it's just not good enough for me.

Anyhow, I'm gonna go eat and stuff.
2 lovers| give me sex!

[09 Sep 2004|05:25pm]
I'm toying around with titles now. I totally forgot about even needing a title until today.

So....

I've a got a few I'm thinking of like

Joy and Sorrow
Pictures of You
Memoir

Something like that. I'm not sure about Joy and Sorrow because it will lead people to believe something is bad is going to happen before they even see it and I want it to be a total shocker.

I'm kind of leaning towards pictures of you because the memories in her dream are all really just pictures of her life with him and then at the end it pans to the picture of them and fades out so "pictures" are present throughout the film.

I dunno, opinions? Better ideas for a title?
5 lovers| give me sex!

[08 Sep 2004|09:47pm]
Well I think I have come up with my short film.

If I go with it, it will be something I've never done before for a school project and that is to be serious on a serious subject.

I'll have a scene with a couple. It will be silent and in black and white and they will have different scenes of them being a couple and all. Happy, feeding each other, cuddling, running in a field or something and stuff like that. Then they will be in the front yard and she is in a dress and he is taking pictures and she poses so he takes some of her while she is prancing around and he backs up more and more towards the street. She glances over and sees a car coming down the road at full speed and she immediately yells at him and he glances over and gets this terrified look on his face and is too late to move and gets hit. Right as he gets hit it will cut to her sitting up in bed (video is now in color) and she is sweating and breathing heavily from the dream she just had. She puts her head in her hands and starts crying and looks over at the empty side of the bed and lays back down and hugs on to the pillow on the empty side and the camera will pan over to the nightstand next to the bed with a picture of them two together so that you will realize it wasn't a dream at all but a glimpse of her life with this guy she loved.

Would you cry or feel sad watching something like this? I want to try and evoke some kind of emotion in people instead of just laughing. I personally think this will be a pretty good short film if I can get it all together correctly the way I want it.

So what do ya'll think?
4 lovers| give me sex!

[07 Sep 2004|08:25pm]
I'm serious people!!!!

I need more ideas for this 5-8 minute short film.

Something easy and not complicated. I don't have sets and tons of extras and special effects and crap. I was thinking of a dream sequence still but not sure what I should or could have going on in the dream.
4 lovers| give me sex!

[03 Sep 2004|10:48pm]
Tonights class is great. I'm going to have sooooo much fun. My movie(final project) only needs to be between 5-8 minutes. That gives me a hard spot becuase I have to come up with an idea to do something that has a story/plot within that short a time frame.

It could be a music video, intructional video, a dream sequence of some sort, drama or action. I'm not sure what to do and how to go about doing it. I think I'm leaning more towards a short dream sequence. A person having a nightmare or some sweet little lovey dream thing going on and suddenly awakes so I can end it quickly. I just need ideas of what I could do in this sequence.

Sooo..... any ideas? I have a nice little house on an acre of land, lots of farms nearby. Beautiful sunsets out here. Roomates who can probably act, one co-worker and a boss who are dead set on wanting to take part somehow.

Anyone got anything or maybe an I idea I could shoot off from? Me and a camera.....oh how great this will be.
4 lovers| give me sex!

[02 Sep 2004|09:02pm]
Ok so for those who could be interested. So far before an afters :P. Not too much difference but you can definitely tell my facial fat is melting away. Anyhow, no body as I'm still not comfortable on that yet, but here is some face for you!

Before surgery )

After 50lbs )
15 lovers| give me sex!

[01 Sep 2004|10:18pm]
Well.... started school this week. I had my first class tonight. It's like an advanced Illustrator class. I'm so going to blow. I hate Illustrator except to take things from it and import it into other programs and I'm awfull asstastic when drawing with a damn mouse. My friday class is Digital Video in which I should be learning some editing programs and making some movies which I'm really excited to get into and hope I'm good at it.

As for all that signing up for the computer monitor and stuff. I had a VERY good and generous friend offer to buy me a new monitor and after debating back in my head whether I could accept an offer like that I decided to go ahead and do it so I am now sitting in front of a nice flat screen monitor :). Thank you! Now I don't have to worry about mine blowing up in my face at any moment.

I finished some more projects with the house. Laid down vinyl in the living room entrance way. Finished putting up wall trim and caulking in my bathroom. Hung more pictures, fixed my toilet which sprung a leak, finished the porch, and tons of other shit. My grandmother is coming up this weekend for labor day and wants to check out my new house. So I'm all trying to get it nice for her.

I took off work Tuesday because I felt a little sick to the stomache but a couple hours later that went away and I went to town on the house then today I go in and a couple hours later I feel like a train hit me so I came home, slept, woke up and felt better and went to my class. I left work in such a hurry that I even left my cell phone there. So I had to call my boss and he claims finders keepers.

Now I'm ready to go to bed again, heh. Night.
Oh and I actually installed my cam tonight. I just kind of stared at myself for a bit. I didn't think I would actually post pictures anywhere. I don't even have a site to upload them to anyways, so maybe I'll just copy the screens and save them for myself in a weight loss folder or something so I can see my progress. 50lbs so far folks. Holy shit that is a lot of fat. Slow but steady it keeps shedding. Best thing I ever did. Ok really, good night. :)
4 lovers| give me sex!

[26 Aug 2004|10:10pm]
Yeah I know I'm retarded for trying this but I must and so I'm following in Lil Ron's footsteps. I could really use a new monitor, mine goes into seizures and the screen starts shaking and then sometimes when I leave it and come back on standby the screen has gone blank and I have to reboot and I don't have 100 or so bucks to spend on a new one so please help me if you can.

Just sign up for me or something and do the ifone offer thing which is totally free and I will be very happy. I need like 8 people. Shit. Like I really know that many people who will sign up for me so I'm doing it here because like Obi Wan, you are my only hope. Or something.

DO IT

:)
2 lovers| give me sex!

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