| View: | User Info. |
| View: | Friends. |
| View: | Calendar. |
| View: | Memories. |
| You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries. | |
|
|
LiveJournal for Sarah.
|
||||||||||
| Monday, July 8th, 2002 |
|
||||||
|
for a week it was how it always was...friends, things to do, drunken nights and silly days...but now it is back to square one adjusting to all that shit other than fun, i am not giving up on life Dad i am just being young i am not wasting my talent i am savoring my youth can you understand? can you understand? |
||||||
|
|
| Sunday, June 16th, 2002 |
|
||||
| make me the happiest person, a once a week meeting with my significant other at a venue that provides my favorite pastime, and him. A kiss can say a thousand words, and maybe this one only said a few, much better than nothing, nothing is better then that. | ||||
|
|
| Wednesday, May 29th, 2002 |
|
||||||
|
anyone know where i can get a new body cause this one is achin' and breakin' all over the place. My face keeps growing hot like a woman in menopause, as I grow closer to that everyday. Ouch is all I can say. P.S. Now I know the difference between infatuation and love. Which one are you in?? |
||||||
|
|
| Tuesday, April 23rd, 2002 |
|
||||
| i write this for myself. i have never been such a taurus, never been so close to being 21 without being 21. never been so afraid to lose. never been so haunted by abandonment of the past. never been this happy with myself and matters of the heart. | ||||
|
|
| Wednesday, February 27th, 2002 |
|
||||
| I was so close to the mountains I could touch them, then on the plane ride home the clouds looked like cotton candy where trampoline actions should be made. Fever in and fever out, I am home again, as if i never parted. Now I am back to where I always started. | ||||
|
|
| Monday, February 18th, 2002 |
|
||||
| today I feel close to the shore, low tide, consumed by all the waste that washes up upon me, like failed attempts, empty packs of cigarettes, broken bottles and hope. today I will shower more than normal just to see if I can be abnormal for once. Once in this lifetime of mine I will look at the sky and smile because I won't be able to do anything but help it. | ||||
|
|
| Saturday, February 16th, 2002 |
|
||||
| youdosomethingtomethaticannotexplain | ||||
|
|
| Friday, February 15th, 2002 |
|
||||||||
|
I will miss my mom?s hands on my fresh, warm laundry But I am excited to do my own. I will miss day trips to NYC But I am excited to see something new. I will miss the people who know me But I am excited for someone to know me more. I will miss the comfort of a family But I am excited to build my own nest. I will miss the good times and the bad But I am excited to create new memories. I will miss late night diner runs But I am excited to run to a new shelter. I will miss my place here, my family, my few and far between friends But I am excited to pursue that dream which when I wake never ends. |
||||||||
|
|
| Tuesday, February 12th, 2002 |
|
||||
| I never want to be as drunk as I was last night. Today I lost a whole day to my bed, and spinning rooms, and a lapse of memory of how I got home. How can you not remember going to Dunkin Donuts, paying for a coffee, spilling it all over your carpet, and trying to compose yourself for your worried mom. I feel gross, I feel ashamed. | ||||
|
|
| Saturday, February 9th, 2002 |
|
||||
|
in addition to everything else, my new ring (which if only liked by me is fine by me) is shiny and big and i have taken a liking to shiny big things that stand out, stand up and shout things like, shimmer and glitter and bold and plain, and have no theory on what it is like to truly feel pain, whether from the heart, or the skin, or any place with a welcome sign to sin, and i say to myself that i remember those times, when i cried over what another could not provide, you know those hard topics like a helping hand, loyalty, diversity, warmth. I have the deepest remorse today on the two year anniversery of a wonderful young woman's death. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
| my ear hurts. i did it to myself though. metal rod straight through and it hurt but i toughed it out, it bled but i cleaned it up, it throbbed so i slept on my other side. i enjoyed yesterday. being with my bestest friend who knows my buttons (almost too well) as if he sewed them on, as if he invented them. we laughed. we talked. we did best friend stuff. i am greatful to have had a day just like that. | ||||
|
|
| Friday, February 1st, 2002 |
|
||||
| I dyed my hair red to match my heart, I guess that is my dirty little secret. I'm holding the key, to my heart, to my emotions that burn my stomach like a volcano about to explode, that catch butterflies better than any net, any cage. Light as air, and free as a bird I ride the wind into the moments of my life. | ||||
|
|
| Thursday, January 31st, 2002 |
|
||||
|
Something clicked into place today and I know that time is short and I am going to pursue that outrageous dream I once had Because I know I can have it |
||||
|
|
| Monday, January 28th, 2002 |
|
||||||||
| I try not to where a watch anymore, or atleast constantly be reminded of time, because there simply is never enough. I am reminded that I am leaving, a good idea when it was a zygote of an idea, and now the thought weighs down my heart like the titanic. I will go, no matter what happenes between now and then. I will go and try not to cry over what I am missing or what I have missed. | ||||||||
|
|
| Friday, January 25th, 2002 |
|
||||||||
|
Tonight I am going to get a psychic reading. Tonight I will discover things about myself or be reminded of what's already there, living deep within me. Tonight is a crystal ball with images of a future I cannot see, that someone else can, possibly. Tonight the stars will beam with insight and my body will fall slave to a forecast unknown. |
||||||||
|
|
| Monday, January 21st, 2002 |
|
||||||||
| A spiritual wheelchair can put more restrictions then one may think, and it is not the physical pain that we remember, in fact it is not humanly possible. It is the emotional/mental agony that sticks like a piece of lint, or worse, a terminal disease. The climate inside me is arid and hazy. Outside is snowy and damp, like winter should be. Seasons are always so on time, how do they do it. Why does my heart feel so bad? | ||||||||
|
|
| Tuesday, January 15th, 2002 |
|
||||||||
|
So last night we tried to do something out of our normal routine, and it became a wake up call (to me atleast) that some routines just cannot be broken, that I cannot be broken. The lady behind the counter at the bowling alley hated us for being customers, or maybe she wanted to bowl and couldn't on company time, regardless, without regard, I left without paying that shit faced establishment based on my own standards of how someone should be treated, and how I was not treated that way. Anyone who really knows me, must know, that I am stubborn, I didn't ask to be born a Taurus, but here I am, I don't back down, just like that woman who hated her place in this world so much that she couldn't even put a size 9 on the counter with some decency. |
||||||||
|
|
| Monday, December 31st, 2001 |
|
||||
|
a night, an eve of a new year,a new day. I envision it to be dreadful, because I haven't had to many good ones. When your friends are split in two, what's a girl to do? I miss it when i was a little girl, when things were quaint and uninvolved, and now, now everything is so much of everything. |
||||
|
|
| Sunday, November 4th, 2001 |
|
||||||||
|
All work and no play made Sarah a dull girl, but isn't this my training for what's to come? According to Fatima, in Salem, who jipped me out of all I had and gave me nothing in return, I am going to move, not going to marry jerk from last year, and will never be close with my sister. My life laid out in cards on a cheap silk scarf and my throat closes up in unicine with my heart. Operation never ending routine, 9 to 5, shattered dream, what ever this mission is is not making a statement, is not projecting far enough for me to ever grasp, solemn and sweet all day I eat the grapes of wrath. |
||||||||
|
|
| Sunday, September 30th, 2001 |
|
||||||||
|
we came together, to constelate, and there are constant constellations in our eyes- after all this time, endless days and billions of words, i still want more to be with you all as if for the very 1st time. |
||||||||
|
|
|
|
LiveJournal for Sarah.
|
||||||||||
complacent.
sick.
awake.
pensive.
excited.
exhausted.
cynical.
hopeful.