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Emotions of the moment....

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curious

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So today 1_woman_army made a post that was cool and kept me busy almost all day.

Tonight into today, I want to do the same thing.

Ask me a question of any kind. I will answer it honestly and then as you a question. We can just keep going if you want too.

Come and play.

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Emotions of the moment....

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loved

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I love you.

I love the feel of your body next time as I sleep and wake.

The chatting in the potty. No shower or potty break is sacred.

The fact we can talk everything out.

For loving me, even when you feel like my room mate and not my lover.

For being true to yourself and always willing to struggle to reach that.

Supporting me in all I do and feel I want to do.

Opening your life to me.

Letting me love you.

Butt Wiggles

Snuggle Bugs

Pushing me to achieve a better me. One you see even when I don't.

Thank you for being you. The one I love and want to spend my time and life with you.

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Emotions of the moment....

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calm

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Saturday Kel and I got the please sure the company of hauntedskipper, diamond_j and the lovely Wolfie. We went from breakfast into a whole day hang out which was awesome!!! We meet with Deek and Wendy later on that night for mini golf. That was fun. However, bad tempers and a 12 year old are a bad mix. I love Deek, but for a man who has 3 kids of his own, I thought he would check the temper a bit more with someone elses son with us. UGH!!!

Sunday....Kel did not wake up feeling well and we had a lazy day. However, before she came to bed last night she rearranged the whole livingroom for me. Just like I wanted. =) One of the many reasons I love her so much. She got up and headed to bed for a few hours. *sigh* I hope she feels better soon.

HOWEVER.....while she was sleeping the lovely and charming law_witch called me to chat. That was an awesome hour conversation! LOVED EVERY minute of it. Thanks for calling love. =)

Our 27" TV had the cable ready piece snap off the back of the TV today. So we now have a 2 year old TV that works just fine, but can't have cable hooked to it. Now we thought long and hard about going out and buying a new TV. As you know we are in the middle of a bid process for the condo we live in. So instead of wasting money we do not have, we are instead using the 20" from the bedroom in the livingroom. Again, we are thankful to have that one to replace the large one with. Kel now has a very large TV for PS2. Live if teaching us how to save. You never realize how materialistic you are till you are trying for something far out of your price range of petty cash.

OK. I am off. I just ate and my tummy is full and once Kel is done with the Star Wars movie she is watching I will watch some TV and then go read.

::hugs::

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Emotions of the moment....

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drained

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An original true story, written by a Battalion Fire Chief in a
Mississippi
town.

EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH
( Story inside.... )

[	Emotions of the moment....	|	intimidated	]
[	Theme Music	|	Snakes and Ladders by joss Stone	]

It is a post and a real one at that.

Well, we were approved for our Mortgage. Both conventional and interest only. The choice will be ours. Before we hear all the horror stories on the interest only, keep in mind we work for a bank and we have researched all the things that are bad. This would be a way to get our foot in the door with a comfortable start. Not a 30yr fix. Shit, I am just happy we have gotten this far. You have no idea.

Family keeps getting more and more interesting it seems. My mother has made it clear she feels I am a child and I am being difficult over the condo being sold and had resorted to being short and curt with me. This is week 3 of this treatment. Mother's Day was cheap for me this year. I wish I understood, but I am being told I am the issue and I need to grow up. Funny things is, last time I checked, Kel and I pay our bills. Not them.

My brother and sister-in-law. Well that is getting settled vis email over time. I really need to see the kids. I miss them so much and I feel like piece of me would die if I could never see them again. So, I can forget and move on for the kids. I will not and do not trust Jay and Paula, but who knows what will happen over time. I have no family left anymore. If knowing my brother and his wife can't be trusted then I can work with that. Atleast I know going in that nothing has changed. *sigh* No fix is ever easy. I need to give and this is where I will do that.

Work is going to get interesting soon. We have several people leaving our Dept. 2 were promoted to another department. 1 is leaving the company. 1 is going to another Dept. for a temp position. Then the new temps we hired. Some will make it and a few are one foot out and one foot in. I get to listen and see if we need to release that foot hanging on. I used to be labled the Hatchett. I hated that label, but when it comes to work I will not pick up anothers slack if they can't do the job. We have enough stress as it is.

Hmmm.....what else of value can I share? Kel and I are leaving for camping tomorrow afternoon or late morning. We are gone for the weekend. I have to admit that this is long needed. I could care if we freeze our ass off or not. I want to get away for awhile and not deal with life. That is what we are doing.

Finally. The deleting of my journal. I have not decided on that yet to be honest. I feel like I have met some wonderful people via this damn thing. People I would not have ever met other wise and I am SO very thankful for you all. Yet, I feel like I do not share the time or effort I used to with you all. I feel like I don't know my friends as well as I used too and I don't like that feeling at all. I never wanted to be a stranger looking in on peoples lives and not being connected wtih them. I want to be connected, I want to be an active friend and I miss not being able to do that. If that makes sense to anyone other than me, great.

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Emotions of the moment....

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creative

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( Why I love you all...... )

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Emotions of the moment....

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accomplished

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Today is a better day by far. I realized late yesterday afternoon that I have been off my meds for over a week and they keep my moods level. I am not on depression meds, it is the meds for PCOS. Metformin. For PCOS is levels so much other then sugar levels. It keeps my energy good and even and also keeps me from having mood swings. So, I called this morning to get the meds refilled and I will be all better in a day or so. The fact I know what it is, also helps me control it all that much better.

So, today is a new day with new thoughts and perspectives.

I took my Level III reiki class on Saturday. I am not sure what else to say other than WOW. I have learned so much from Libbe and find her to be a wonderful inspiration to me. The things I learned, I had no idea you could do with Reiki. I always thought it was healing only. The ways it can be used is endless. I am hoping this has also helped me with the boost I need to get into the Level 2 lessons for the White Moon School. I am having a hard time getting started and I am not sure why. I think my hesitation to the Mother Peace deck is what is holding me back. We will see. I am going to try it again.

Other than that, I have wonder friends on LJ and I thank you all for being who you are. I am thinking it maybe time to update what I love about everyone of my friends on LJ.

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Emotions of the moment....

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listless

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Right this moment, I don't feel any better. I feel like no matter what I am doing to be wrong in this. I feel like my family would rather spit in your face then deal with you. I don't like being told I need to grow up when I had plans and would not cancel those for them. I feel like my feelings in all this mean shit. I feel like I am trapped in a life that shines only once in awhile. I feel like I hurt more than I smile lately. I feel like we are backed in a corner and if we do not flee then we will be forced to do so. I feel tired, scared and hurt.

I want to feel nothing since feeling consume you. I no longer want to be consumed and I can't stop it.