An open letter

Dear Mary and Fred,

Look, I'm sure you're lovely people and all that, but really—fuck off. I'm fed up hearing about you. I'm fed up with the kowtowing and toadying of my spineless country towards you, and all the rubbish about the fairytale romance and the magic of the monarchy and the phlegm and the bile and the puke and the bullshit etc etc. You are shitting me to tears and boring me to death.

So fuck off, now, please. Get out of my newspapers. Get off my TV. Go back to Denmark before I hit you both over your heads with a rolled-up Woman's Day.

Love,
James R.

Well, everyone else is doing it

The first fifteen songs to randomly appear in Winamp:

1. Archers of Loaf, "Fashion Bleeds"
2. Black Flag, "Louie Louie"
3. The White Stripes, "Jimmy The Exploder"
4. Killing Joke, "Tomorrow's World" (Peel session)
5. Short Cross, "Marching Off To War"
6. Killing Joke, "Wardance (Naval Mix)"
7. The Motorcycle Boy, "Trying To Be Kind"
8. The Electric Eels, "Agitated"
9. The Drifters, "Under The Boardwalk"
10. GBVG/Mitsuame, "I Want More"
11. The Beatles, "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" (take 5)
12. Ryan Adams, "Don't Even Know Her Name"
13. John Cale, "Caravan"
14. McAlmont & Butler, "Yes"
15. Lloyd Cole & The Commotions, "Perfect Skin"

Interesting experiment. Rob was saying that some people have said these lists should really be called "Painstakingly Selected To Make Me Look Cutting Edge"... all I can say is, these actually were the first 15 songs that came out, and it's up to you to (dis)believe me as you see fit... but really, there's three songs in there that are older than me, so I don't think they count as "cutting edge" any more. And I can't stand The White Stripes, so I don't know what that one's doing in there; if I was going to fake cutting edge, I'd at least put in something I actually liked...

The eternal student

Student graduates after 20 years

A law student from La Plata in Argentina has finally graduated after spending 20 years on a course.
According to UOL the unnamed student had also failed one subject 39 consecutive times before passing.
Spokesperson for La Plata University said: "We have never had anything like this before and we are going to change some laws in the university to prevent this from happening again."

Fucking hell. When I was at UNSW they gave you two goes at a subject before they called you in to ask you why you thought you deserved a third chance. Even at TAFE I don't think you got too many chances either. I can't help but feel something should've been done long before he got his 39th go at the subject...

And l'affaire Jacko gets funnier and funnier

Jackson: Bashir may go to jail

The British TV journalist whose documentary was the catalyst that led to the singer's child molestation charges, on Tuesday refused to answer a string of questions from Jackson's attorney Thomas Mesereau.
This is London reports that Judge Rodney S Melville will on Wednesday decide if Bashir was in contempt of court - and whether he should be jailed or fined.
Bashir was said by his lawyers to be protected by California's "shield law", which prevents reporters from being charged with contempt if they refuse to answer questions on the witness stand about their sources or the way they gather news.
But if the judge rules against him, not only could Bashir be put in a county jail until he answers the questions, but the prosecution case against Jackson could be badly undermined.
Bashir's testimony could be thrown out, along with the prosecution's use of the Living With Michael Jackson documentary - a central plank of the case against the singer.

Be like the thing, eh. Jacko will get off and the witnesses will do time instead...

On our way home...

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This one was taken out the window of the passenger seat of the cab I went home in after the show. We're going up Cleveland St here, although I'm not sure exactly which cross-street this is.

Flowers in the dustbin... well, near enough

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I have no idea why, but this slightly withered erstwhile floral display was sitting next to the rubbish bin by the lifts outside 2SER. I found the juxtaposition of objects amusing, hence the photo.

A Yasujiro Ozu moment

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I saw my first Yasujiro Ozu film the other day. Among other things, Ozu is renowned for the low positioning of his camera in his films, which are shot entirely from this perspective—usually about three feet off the floor, or about the eye level of an adult sitting on the floor. Which is a slightly roundabout way of noting that this is the foyer of 2SER, looking towards the window of Studio 1 (if you look through that you can see the window that looks into Studio 2), photographed from a height of about three feet off the ground. To the left you can observe a guitar case which presumably belonged to whoever was playing in Studio 2 at that time; to the right you may notice a TV set sitting atop the ComRadSat recorder. It all looks very flashy and high-tech, doesn't it.

Some more photography

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Took this at 2SER this evening from the corridor round the back of UTS tower that leads to the newsroom. I'm not sure exactly what part of town we're looking down on here from this 26th floor vantage point; a squiz at the Gregory's suggests it's on Wattle St in Ultimo. Anyway, I was looking out the window and was rather struck by the appearance of this service station as this point of brightness amidst the evening gloom and all the other mostly unlit buildings; there's street lights and things, but there's no real large body of light other than this. I think I've captured a bit of that in the picture.

Ooh, there's a shock

Habib launches defamation proceedings

Former Guantanamo detainee Mamdouh Habib has filed defamation proceedings in the NSW Supreme Court against The Australian newspaper and The Daily Telegraph.
His lawyer Stephen Hopper said the claims related to several articles about his client, including a cartoon published in The Daily Telegraph in April 2002 titled "The amazing journey of a suburban terrorist".
"This afternoon I have on behalf of Mamdouh Habib filed defamation proceedings in the Supreme Court of New South Wales against Nationwide News in relation to a number of articles published in The Daily Telegraph and The Australian newspaper," Mr Hopper said yesterday.
"There were libellous comments in those articles against my client." [...]
Mr Hopper said the court action could take as little as eight months or several years.
"It depends if they want to settle or fight it out," he said.
"We'll just have to wait and see what happens."

Can't speak for the Oz's behaviour, but only an idiot would deny the Telegraph has been out to demonise him since he got home from Guantanamo, while still being too chickenshit to say anything definite. I don't know if the Tele's smear campaign was defamatory as such, but it surely had to border on it... if we take the definition of defamation as something designed to lower the reputation of one person in the eyes of another, then yes, it probably could be counted as such. This is going to be interesting, as News Ltd is going to have to defend themselves, and I'll be interested to see what proofs they offer as to Habib's being a terrorist that the American government couldn't find to use against him...

No one escapes Neighbours

Russell to appear in Neighbours?

Russell Crowe has reportedly agreed to star in a one-off special celebrating the 20th anniversary of Neighbours.
The actor appeared in an early episode of the soap in the late 1980s, playing the love interest of Kylie Minogue's character Charlene Mitchell.

No word on what script changes he's demanding before he takes part.

Oldboy

If you read this post summarising my year in film for last year, you might recall I was quite enthusiastic about a Korean film directed by Park Chan-wook called Oldboy. At that time the film hadn’t actually been given a proper release in this country—I myself actually got it on DVD from Chinatown—and I suspected it probably wouldn’t get much more than a few festival screenings at best if it did appear on our screens. Which is why I’m really excited to discover that it’s actually getting a proper release in Australia at last.

An ill-advised career change?

Pinter opts for poetry over plays

There will be no more plays from Harold Pinter, Britain's most distinguished living playwright.
In a career spanning more than 40 years, Pinter has produced such masterpieces as The Homecoming, Betrayal, The Birthday Party and The Caretaker. And, although recent work has failed to match in brilliance the glittering gems of the past, he is still the acknowledged grandee of the British stage.
But now it is all over, the 74-year-old has told BBC Radio 4. "I think I've stopped writing plays now, but I haven't stopped writing poems," he said. "I think I've written 29 plays. Isn't that enough? ... I've found other forms now."
Pinter has increasingly turned to poetry, publishing a collection, entitled War, in 2003, which expressed his passionate opposition to the Iraq conflict.
One poem, published in The Guardian in 2003, expressed his disaffection thus: "Your head rolls onto the sand/ Your head is a pool in the dirt/ Your head is a stain in the dust/ Your eyes have gone out and your nose/ Sniffs only the pong of the dead/ And all the dead air is alive/ With the smell of America's God."
Unsurprisingly, perhaps, there are those who doubt Pinter's ability as a poet will ever match his reputation as a playwright.

I don't know how else to respond to this except by quoting TMFTML's post on this topic in its entirety:

FUCK. [DRAMATIC PAUSE] FUCK.

The big prick is out
Of the playwriting game
We're still stuck with the poems, though.

Cunt.

Oscars redux

Personally I only care about the results of the Academy Awards. The ceremony itself holds no interest for me whatsoever, so I don't bother tuning in once I know what the results are. Seems I wasn't the only one not watching, though...

Nine's Oscars telecast loses golden touch

If Channel Nine wasn't trying so hard to be stoic, it would have its rival's flagship drama rebadged Smug Housewives.
That Desperate Housewives won its Monday timeslot for Channel Seven - with more than 2 million viewers for the fifth week running - was no surprise in normal circumstances. What was a shock was that one of Nine's perennial powerhouses, the Oscars telecast, turned in its worst performance in years, despite the success of local heroine Cate Blanchett.
The Academy Awards were swamped by the Housewives, coming in a lowly 15th in the national rankings - their worst performance since 1994. It was the first time in at least 15 years the Oscars did not win the night. [...]
The ABC was also gleeful with the success of Andrew Denton's interview with Crown Prince Frederik and Crown Princess Mary on Enough Rope.
Executive producer Anita Jacoby said it was the best rating ever for the show, based on the ABC's figures, which are averaged over the 40-minute interview, rather than the entire hour.
On those figures, Enough Rope won with 1.53 million viewers, compared to 1.4 million for Crossing Jordan and 886,000 for the Academy Awards. For the hour, the ABC scored 1.17 million viewers.

Now those are some ugly numbers. Mind you, I don't think I missed much by watching something else that night...

Who's really being Victorian here?

Change to film sex rules

The burgeoning sexuality of 16 and 17-year-olds - a fruitful subject for makers of arthouse films including Somersault, The Year My Voice Broke and Kids - is set to become a no-go zone for Victorian filmmakers.
A bill introduced by the State Government expands the definition of "objectionable films" that cannot be made in Victoria.
At present there is a ban on films in which teenagers under 16 engage in sex acts or are depicted in an "indecent sexual manner".
Under the change, the threshold age will be increased to 18.
Film groups say the broad wording will put a stop to tackling late teenage sexuality as a legitimate subject for filmmakers. [...]
Mr Harris warned that films with plotlines similar to the acclaimed Somersault could be stopped by the Government's new legislation.
Somersault, the tale of a 16-year-old girl who turns to fleeting sexual encounters in her search for affection, won a record 13 Australian Film Industry awards last year. [...]
The age of sexual consent in Victoria is 16.

In other words, it's OK for 16-year-old kids to actually have sex. It's just not OK to show those kids on a screen doing something they have a legal right to do. No word, though, on the status of exhibiting in Victoria of films showing consenting 16 y.o's gettin' it on but produced in, for example, NSW or SA...

Michael Jackson: killer?

Family: Heart Attack Victim Moved for Jackson

A woman who had suffered a massive heart attack died after hospital personnel moved her out of a trauma room to accommodate a flu-stricken Michael Jackson, the patient's family said.
Jury selection in Jackson's child molestation child had to be temporarily postponed Feb. 15 when the pop star was taken to Marian Medical Center in Santa Maria, Calif., complaining of flu-like symptoms. Manuela Gomez Ruiz, a 74-year-old grandmother, was moved from the primary trauma room and taken off the machine ventilator, with her breathing instead assisted manually by hand pump, until she was relocated to a smaller room nearby, her family told ABC News.
The larger room was kept for Jackson, the family says. Hospital records show Jackson, 46, told emergency room staff he had severe abdominal pain. His body temperature, 96.9 degrees, was below normal and he had tears in his eyes. The initial emergency room report said he could go home anytime.
There was no doubt Jackson was sick -- as a doctor assured the judge presiding over his trial -- but how sick? Ruiz's daughter-in-law says she watched as Jackson entered the emergency room.
"He walked in," Anna Ruiz said. "When I saw him, he was walking unassisted."
Anna Ruiz was in the emergency room with her mother-in-law who was in the primary trauma room, attached to IVs and a ventilator.
"It's a large family and the mom is the heart of the family, " she said. Manuela Ruiz was a mother of eight, grandmother of 24 and great-grandmother of 26.
But Ruiz's heart was failing rapidly. She would have two more heart attacks before she died that day.
The family has hired an attorney to sue both the hospital and Jackson. [...]
Jackson's publicist, Raymone K. Bain, issued the following statement: "Michael Jackson sends his condolences to the family of the deceased. However, it is outrageous that Michael Jackson's name would be invoked into a situation of which he had no authority or control. It appears that ABC is deliberate in its attempt to circumvent Michael Jackson from receiving a fair trial."

Yeah, I'm sure Jacko and/or his people had absolutely no say in his getting a better room at the hospital than someone else there, or having someone already occupying the better room kicked out of it.

The final gong sounds for Rank

Rank sounds the final gong for its film business

It was in 1933 that J Arthur Rank, a middle-aged Yorkshire flour magnate, decided to equip various Methodist halls and churches with their own movie projectors. Little did he know it then, but Rank had set in train a business that would provide British cinema history with many of its most sublime and absurd moments.
Seven decades on, Rank's long flirtation with celluloid has come to an end. The company he founded severed its last ties with the film industry yesterday when it sold its Deluxe unit, dedicated to DVD distribution and technical support. In 1997, the group hived off its distribution arm and film library to Michael Green's Carlton. Three years later, it sold Pinewood Studios to a consortium led by Michael Grade. Odeon was next on the auction slab, also sold off in 2000.
Even though Rank's exit from the film business had long been predicted, many fans of British cinema will react to the news with dismay. Among the glories of its output is the astonishing work carried out by Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger, and David Lean in the late 40s. Rank, eager to gatecrash the US market with prestige pictures, gave these film-makers carte blanche. "We can make any subject we wish, with as much money as we think that subject should have spent on it," Lean once boasted.
Left to their own devices, the film-makers rewarded their patron with such classics as The Red Shoes, A Matter of Life and Death, Great Expectations and Oliver Twist. In the same era, Rank also financed the bodice-ripping Gainsborough melodramas (The Wicked Lady, The Man in Grey) and the Ealing comedies.
By 1946, the Rank Organisation was as big as any Hollywood studio. It had a staff of 31,000. (By comparison, the National Health Service employed 34,000 people on its inception.) Rank invested in every aspect of the film business, from labs to distribution, from meteorologists (to predict when it would be sunny enough to shoot) to its eccentric Highbury-based "charm school", where various good-looking women and statuesque men were taught diction and deportment in the hope they would turn into stars. "I declined absolutely to walk around with a book on my head," Christopher Lee recalled of his stint under the school's martinet head, Molly Terraine. [...]
Rank's growing disaffection with the film business was already apparent in 1956, when Davis struck a deal with a New York company which marketed photocopying machines, giving birth to Rank Xerox Ltd. Within a decade, film accounted for only a tiny proportion of the group's overall profits. Over the years, an outfit that had its origins in church halls began to invest in casinos, bingo, hotels, holiday camps and theme parks.

Fox apparently isn't enough

Rummy TV

The Bush administration has shown a willingness to do just about anything to manipulate public opinion. It paid pundits to say nice things about it. It spent lavishly to create bogus – and, according to the comptroller general, illegal – video news reports on the president's Medicare, education and drug policies. And it has given us Gannon/Guckert-gate.
Now the Bushies are taking things to the next level. Not content to buy their press coverage retail, they are producing and distributing their own news network. And, no, I'm not talking about Fox. It's the Pentagon Channel, a 24/7 niche network brought to you by the Department of Defense.
Started last year as an internal public relations unit within the Pentagon designed to keep U.S. soldiers and their families informed about all things military, the network is now expanding its reach to the general public. A number of cable systems, including Time Warner, already carry the Pentagon Channel – and the Dish Network will soon begin beaming the station to its more than 11 million viewers right alongside the half-dozen porn channels the satellite giant offers.
DoD television execs (there's a new phrase) say Pentagon Channel viewers can expect programming that is "a mix between CNN and C-SPAN" – combining military news and lifestyle shows with live coverage of military briefings, speeches by the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and congressional appearances by The Man himself, Secretary of Defense Don Rumsfeld.
So fire up those TiVos, disinformation fans; Rummy TV is coming soon to a flat screen near you. "If you hate the truth, you'll love DoD TV!"

All right for some

Reading the newspapers over the last few days, as I have done, has led me to these conclusions.

When a Danish prince marries his Australian lover and they come to pay us a visit, it's a fairytale romance for all us to fall in love with.
When a British prince marries his lover and he comes to pay us a visit, it's a million-dollar drain on the taxpayer and a salutory warning about the need for Australia to become a republic.

When fights lasting days break out at Macquarie Fields, it's the fault of a few troublemakers besmirching the reputation of the general population of the suburb.
When trouble breaks out during a march protesting the war in the Middle East, it's the fault of the entire peace movement.

I don't get it.
Still, where would our media be without rank hypocrisy and double standards? Just think, they might have to report the news objectively.

Oh, and some other awards were handed out

Cate wings it, Clint's a knockout

Million Dollar Baby, a gut-wrenching boxing drama that entered the Oscar race at the last minute, scored a knockout victory at the Academy Awards in Los Angeles.
It grounded its chief rival The Aviator, and won best film, best director for Clint Eastwood, best actress for Hilary Swank and best supporting actor for Morgan Freeman.
The best Martin Scorsese's epic tale of the eccentric life of billionaire Howard Hughes could manage was best supporting actress for Cate Blanchett, who played screen great Katharine Hepburn, plus awards for film editing, cinematography, costume design and art direction. [...]
In the other major acting award, Jamie Foxx as soul singing legend Ray Charles Ray was named best actor. [...]
Spain's The Sea Inside (Mar Adentro) was named best foreign language film for its tale of a paralysed man, portrayed by Javier Bardem, who fights his country's legal system for the right to take his own life. [...]
Among other awards, The Incredibles was named best animated feature, beating rival Shrek 2, 2004's No 1 box office movie.
Writer-director Alexander Payne and co-writer Jim Taylor of comedy Sideways won the Oscar for best adapted screenplay and Charlie Kaufman earned the award for best original screenplay for quirky romance, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Best documentary was a hotly contested category, and the Oscar went to Born Into Brothels, which tells of the plight of children of prostitutes growing up in Calcutta, India.
In one surprise, Spanish language song Al Otro Lado Del Rio took home the Oscar for original song. It is from the movie, The Motorcycle Diaries, which was based on the diaries of young revolutionary Che Guevara.

And the winner is...

Every year the world holds its breath around this time as the winners of the world's most important film industry awards night are announced.

I speak, obviously, of the Razzies.

This year's winners, courtesy of The Movie Blog:

Who the hell?

Via the Flash one, a quite extraordinary case of mistaken identity. We begin with this article from the current installment of the SMH's Icon supplement:

iParty, weParty
By Taya Fabijanic

It's becoming all the rage. Take your iPod to a club or hastily organised party, plug it into the sound system and dance to your favourite songs. However, when Hugh Waters, the owner of the Hecho en Mexico blog invited his readers to dance around an iPod at his R U Gonna B My DJ gig on a Thursday night he didn't expect to be gatecrashed by a bunch of Melburnian bloggers who found his offer irresistable.
At Waters's gigs everyone has the opportunity to be a DJ: take a ticket, choose a few tracks from a choice of more than 15,000, wait your turn to step up on the podium, plug your iPod into the sound system and press play.
To the readers of Hecho en Mexico it seemed a perfect venue to display their usually reticent real-life personas. In Sydney and Melbourne, dance parties have sprung up with people spinning tracks on their iPods. Called iParties, these gatherings close the gap between audience member and DJ.

Got the (Way and the) Life

Korn Guitarist Finds God, Leaves Band

Korn guitarist Brian "Head" Welch has parted ways with the hard rock act, citing a recent religious awakening.
Welch broke the news Sunday on Bakersfield, Calif., station KRAB-FM.
"I had it in my heart to come here and explain to you," Welch said. "I'm good friends with Korn. I love those guys, and they love me, and they're very happy for me."
Addressing the aggressive tone of the music he made with Korn, Welch said, "Anger is a good thing, and if kids want to listen to Korn, good, but there's happiness after the anger. I'm going to show it through my actions how much I love my fans."
Welch added that he would be appearing at a local church on Feb. 27, during which time he would "speak (about) how I got to this place in my life, and I'll answer all your questions."

"Mr Head, sir? Do you think God can ever forgive you for helping invent nu-metal and thereby making possible the careers of Limp Bizkit and Crazy Town and loads of other even shittier bands?"

Well that was suspiciously quick

Jackson jury picked: eight women and no blacks

A jury of four men and eight women was chosen today in the Michael Jackson child molestation case, including one woman whose sister was raped and another whose grandson is a registered sex offender.
At least three of the jurors are Hispanics but no blacks were selected. All potential jurors were asked if race would be a consideration in their deliberations and all said no.
Jackson, 46, is an African-American.
The panel, which was selected faster than legal experts had expected, includes a widowed 79-year-old great grandmother whose grandson has registered with police as a sex offender, and a 42-year-old school aide whose sister was raped at age 12. The second woman also said she had two nieces who had been sexually molested.
The jury, aged from 20 to 79, also includes a civil engineer, a horse trainer, a physical therapy aide, a wheelchair-bound student and a student nurse whose aunt visited Jackson's Neverland Valley ranch, where a boy, now 15, claims the pop star molested him two years ago.
Most of the panel said they had read or watched a little news about the case. They all said they could be fair in their deliberations.

Of course they will. The background circumstances of sexual abuse and visiting Neverland (let's assume for now the two aren't the same thing) will have no effect on the case whatsoever. Is it just me, or does anyone else think the judge knew the jury selection process on this case could take forever and just picked the first 12 people who said they could be fair in their decision-making? That's the impression I get, anyway, cos I was expecting the jury selection to take weeks and weeks...

The Corrections

I've spent the past few days reading The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen, partly at the instigation of that Lefty guy who gushed thusly about it:

Anyway, this isn't a Book Club and I'm not going to spoil it for you, but you really should take these fine bloggers' recommendations and find a copy for yourself. Don't worry about the first chapter which, whilst beautiful, does make it seem like it's going to be a bit of a hard slog. It isn't at all. It's the most [CLICHE MODE]powerfully evocative and intelligent[/CLICHE MODE] (and funny) novel I've read for ages, with [CLICHE MODE]a hell of a lot to tell us about the human condition[/CLICHE MODE].
I was sitting there in the car at lunch today, just wondering how anyone could fit so much cleverness on each of so many pages, whilst creating something so eminently readable. Genius.
Also, there are no wizards or spaceships in it.

So, threatening that I would demand a refund if I didn't like it, and bearing in mind that many books contain no wizards or spaceships and still aren't any good, I decided to act upon the recommendation.

It's OK.

Look, it's good. I couldn't honestly say I disliked it. I would give it a thumbs up instead of a thumbs down if someone asked me to recommend it to them. There are things worth reading in it. But 568 pages of it (in the smallish-print large-size paperback I got from the library, bearing on its cover the "Oprah's Book Club" symbol—yes, I've actually read something recommended by Oprah Winfrey and no, I don't know how I can live with myself any more either—that was the cause of so much apparent grief to Franzen a few years back) was too much in my opinion. It struck me that quite a lot of unnecessary writing and waffle could've been cut out. And there were numerous other small things to annoy me.

It hasn't blown me away after five days with it.

It's OK.

I won't ask for that refund, though.

Eucalyptus "script problems" revealed

Russell says no to showing his willy

Russell Crowe says his film Eucalyptus was cancelled because he didn't want to show off his willy.
The film, due to star Nicole Kidman, was ditched last week three days before filming was due to start.
Russell said: "I was taken aback at the addition of a scene requiring me to expose my penis to the young Queen Elizabeth."
He said he was told he could use a prosthetic one and was given a range to choose from.

Maybe Russell was less bothered by the script asking him to do a bit of full-frontal than by the implication present in the offer of the stunt cock that his manhood was inadequate to the task somehow.