Things I’ve been thinking about

Why is it that toilets in commercial buildings and public places have horse collar shaped seats and those in residences are a solid oval?  I get the male dribble factor, but one would think that if the open seat model was so great, it would be adopted for the home.

One of the great things about having your washer in a basement that regularly has standing water is that you can run the washer with impunity and not worry about it leaking and flooding the floor.

I talked to my life insurance agent the other day.  He told me that I’m doing all the right things (life insurance, contributing mad $$ to my 401(k) and investing on the side).  So if I live long enough, I’ll be comfortable, but I’m living on a shoestring in the here and now.

Satellite TV and DVR’s are the devil. Last year at this time I was happy to get 8 stations over the air and was exceedingly happy to read book after book.  Now?  There’s 10 hours of recorded shows, the TV is on way too much and my reading has dropped enormously.

Other than the fact that I was about 20 minutes from downtown Indy, I prefer living in Bubbastan. Castleton was a faceless McSuburb anchored by a retail strip and a mall.  Bubbastan is a relative speedbump, but it’s kinda cool to be able to walk to a decent restaurant or two, a park and a public library. 

Facebook is cool, but it’s taught me to be selective. I’ve no desire to friend the Born Again Bitch, the ill-informed Tea Bagger or the brainless jock who never progressed beyond their high school ‘glory days.’ 

Nuvaring commercials.  Seriously ladies… when you gather together for a night of chick flicks and wine swilling do y’all really spend intermission time comparing birth control methods up to and including ease of insertion?

Speedy McAsshole passes you because you dare to drive the speed limit on a road with timed traffic signals. Do you (like me) enjoy waving at them whilst cruising by after they’ve had to come to a full stop at the light?

Extreme foods.  Yes, it’s true.  Americans, as a rule, are fucking pigs who will eat anything set in front of them as long as it’s not remotely healthy.  And yes, full-fat, cholesterol-laden food is tasty. Do we really need foods that celebrate their unhealthiness?  or high-fat restaurants that give free meals to folks who’s weight exceeds 350 pounds?

The Style Network is anything but.

Mike cooks:  Slow Cooker Barbeque Turkey

This turned out better than I expected, both as a pulled sandwich and sliced. If you have a large crockpot use a whole turkey breast cut along the keelbone.  If you’ve only got a 3.5 qt crock like me?  Your best bet will be to de-bone them or use breast fillets.

Ingredients

1       whole     turkey breast (or 2 boneless fillets)
  1/4   cup       dark molasses
  1/4   cup       red wine vinegar
  1/4   cup       ketchup
2       Tbs       Worchestershire sauce
2       tsp       liquid smoke
1                 small onion, chopped very fine
  1/2   tsp       salt
  1/4   tsp       pepper

Directions

if using a whole turkey breast, place it flesh side down in the crock to make sure that the meat is covered by the sauce. If using fillets, just lay them in.

Whisk remaining ingredients together in a bowl and pour over the turkey. Cover and cook on low for at least 4 hours.

Slice and serve over rice OR…

Remove turkey to a plate and cover with foil to keep warm.  Pour the stewing juices into a saucepan, add a nubbin of unsalted butter and reduce to the consistency you like.  Shred turkey before placing it on a bun and top with a nice dollop of the Q sauce. 

Mike cooks: Yogurt parmesan chicken

This smells really great when it’s baking and tastes great, even if it doesn’t look lime much. The yogurt is an awesome blank slate for whatever you want to flavor it with (mixed citrus juices and zests maybe?) and helps keep the chicken amazingly moist even if you take the skin off as I did.  It also doesn’t take much prep time.  Maybe 10-15 minutes depending on whether you have to remove the skin yourself or not.

Ingredients
    3       pounds     bone-in chicken pieces, skin removed (one cut up chicken or whatever parts yank your crank)
    2       Tbs         lemon juice
                        salt & pepper
    2       cups       plain non-fat yogurt
    2       Tbs         Worchestershire sauce
    2       Tbs         Dijon mustard
    1       tsp         thyme
1/2         tsp         cayenne
1/2         cup         grated Parmesan cheese
1/2         cup         thinly sliced green onions (for garnish)

Directions
Preheat oven to 350.

Place chicken pieces in rectangular baking dish.  Drizzle with lemon juice and season with salt and pepper.

Toss the next five ingredients in a bowl and whisk together, then pour over and around the chicken pieces.  Bake chicken, uncovered, for 50 minutes. Sprinkle with Parmesan and broil for 3 minutes before serving.

What I’m thinking

*Until you have to change the expensive insert in the insanely expensive dispenser, thus making you wash your hands.

Calling Dr Spookytooth

So last week I was spending time at Stately Hawkins Manor when the mom-unit looked at me and said “what the hell is wrong with your teeth?”

Now, I know my teeth fall on the bad end of the movie-star-perfect-late-50’s British dentistry spectrum, but WTF?  Turns out that she was right this time. bondings over my two front teeth, installed to patch a chip betwixt the teeth in question to avoid not one but two root canals, had chipped off at the lower edges of the teeth in question. Hopefully this patch won’t be quite as expensive as the original $400 because with the impending construction project, I really can’t afford it. This time, I’m not even gonna bother submitting it to insurance because bonding on the front for teeth is ALWAYS considered to be cosmetic, even if the alternative is a much more expensive, thousand dollar + series of root canals. 

Not that the decisions affecting this sort of crap will be any more logical under the new laws when they come into effect, but still… spending a few hundred to save a few thousand seems like a win-win. In any case, I’ll be getting a new bonding job, but I’m tempted to tell Dr Spookytooth to just do the damn root canals so that it’ll be paid for. And so that I’ll get some excellent painkillers. 

Mike cooks:  Stuffed Tilapia

I’ve seen various things labeled as ‘Salmon Roasts’ whilst wandering through my local Grocery Ranch™ locations and they look damn tasty, but not so tasty that I’m willing to spend fourteen bucks a pound. i figured that i could make something close to it that was cheaper, tastier and more attractive. One out of three isn’t bad for a first attempt ‘cos at least I know what I need to do differently next time.  This is how I made it last night.  I’ll mention the things I would do differently at the end.

Stuffed Tilapia

Ingredients:
4           Tilapia filets
2   cloves   garlic, minced
2   cups     spinach, stems removed and roughly chopped
1   Tbs     grated parmesan cheese
2   tsp     assorted herbs (I used oregano, thyme and tarragon)
3-4 Tbs     Panko
            olive oil for sauteing

Directions:

Preheat oven to 400 and spray a baking pan with cooking spray.

Heat oil in a medium sized skillet over medium heat.  Add the garlic and saute until just getting golden.  Toss in the spinach.  It looks like a buttload right now but in about 40 seconds its gonna shrink down to nothing.  Once any moisture from the spinach is cooked off, add the parmesan, cheese and panko.  toss around until it’s all well mixed.

Match your fish fillets for size.  Place one fillet from each pair flat side up on the baking pan and top with half the spinach mixture. Cover with the other fillet and toss in the oven about 8 minutes.  Use a wide spatula to transfer to plates to minimize the chance that the fillets will break up before eating.

”

Notes and things I’d change:
Yeah, I know that the eponymous they” say to bake your fish for 10 minutes per inch of thickness, but I think that this 1) results in dry and nearly inedible fish that 2) is directly responsible for why so many people don’t want to eat fish unless it’s coated in gluey batter and Fry-O-Later’ed by slacker teens at the local Captain Silver’s or served up in a diced and re-formed square abomination at McHardeeCastles.  Now, on to the things I’d change…

I originally wanted to make these as pinwheels. Tilapia fillets are way too short and thick in places to roll up.  Sole or Flounder would be better for that.  The two small Tilapia fillets did make for a perfect, if slightly largish serving each though.

If stacking the fillets, I’d hold back 1/3 of the stuffing and use it to top the fillets. I’d keep the Panko out also and sprinkle it on top of the fish before baking.

If you use a more flavorful fish use a more flavorful dry cheese like Feta, Bleu or Gorgonzola

China:  Carmella by Lenox

The day off report

So in between periods of sloth on Tuesday and Wednesday I accomplished things.

That was my weekend.  Hope yours is more interesting.