(Another in a series of posts from Netroots Nation, 2010, in Las Vegas. Part 2 of 2)
We are gathered here in Las Vegas today to discuss the one place in America where prostitution is 100% legal, unregulated, and can be broadcast on national television. I am of course speaking of the United States Senate, where every senator can act as his own pimp, can perform outrageous acts of gratification towards his patrons, and where the money flows freely.
We have only one senator "known" to frequent actual prostitutes. His name is David Vitter, and he benefits greatly from the bigotry of low expectations. The behavior of some of our senators is so bad that merely visiting with hookers hardly rates. After all, it's what Jesus would have done, except for the paying money for sex part, and Vitter feels comfortable enough in the role of martyr. Despite twenty years of preaching, and being horribly outraged, and asking what we were going to tell the children, and generally getting the vapors over all things sexual, the GOP decided that this particular outrage did not quite rise that historic level. I would make here a comment about how things might be different if a Democrat was caught frequenting prostitutes -- but now I have lost interest in this whole train of thought, because nobody wants to think about U.S. senators having sex.
The more usual form of gratification-for-cash goes in the other direction. A particular business interest will pay for a particular senator: the prices are remarkably cheap these days, no doubt because of the economy, but more perhaps because the Senate is always a buyer's market. In exchange, that senator will coincidentally, and I say coincidentally out of utmost respect for the fine, fine process the Senate has laid out, become a reliable and unwavering vote for that industry.
We call this process of prostitution conservativism. Don't believe me? Take a look at the charts. I have no idea what the GOP considers to be conservatism these days (if any of them can come up with a consistent definition that remains true from one day to the next, we should erect a monument in their honor), but among Democrats, conservative means a very big industry (insurance, banking, oil) has cut you a very big check. Conservative is what they call a senator who will reliably stay bought.
Personally, I would rather have every senator visiting actual prostitutes. No contest: if that's what it takes to keep them satisfied, we should simply put a high-class brothel somewhere within the bowels of Congress and be done with it. A man who pays cash for sex can still be an otherwise honest man; a man who is a prostitute, and wraps himself in the flag while giving every oil company or other corporate cash giant that come-hither look, and who does it all under the pretext of serving his country, is among the worst of scum America has to offer.
I have genuine sympathy and respect for Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. No joke: he has the unenviable job of attempting to prod the Senate into functioning when half the Senate has absolutely no interest in functioning in any capacity, on any issue. The Republican Party has declared Sitting On Your Ass to be an act of actual political sainthood: those members of the GOP that do actually work to pass legislation, no matter how obviously it is needed or how much in exchange they can wrangle for their vote, are chastised, ostracized, and primaried. Couple that with the ample number of true whores holding office, in both parties, and you have a situation in which you are trying to squeeze sixty honest votes from a group that has not, at any point in the last half century, held sixty honest senators.
The end result is, currently, a dysfunctional government. That is a rather profound thought: here we are, still mired in war, in a time of social and class-based upheaval (caused largely by having the audacity to elect a black man as our leader, as well as general shock among the right that their policies, once implemented, turned out to be a bungle on top of a fiasco and wrapped within a boondoggle) and -- most critically to the Senate -- the worst economic conditions to hit the country since the Depression, that Depression, that big one that everyone always talks about as being the worst of all possible worsts -- and we have a Senate that is not capable of governing. Trying to claw our way out of the previous Great Depression involved acts of remarkable boldness: we have no such options. America at present simply has no such government capabilities. We will not have it at any point before the next elections; we will not get it afterwards.
No matter how long or how deep our economic disaster, there will be no jobs programs. There will be no push to invest in a new American future, whether it be new infrastructure, or new energy, or new manufacturing. There will be little or no help to state governments so strapped for cash that even some of the most basic services are being shuttered. We could have saved a literal fortune by crafting genuinely competent healthcare legislation: thanks to the most loyal set of whores an industry could possibly ask to hire, such an action was off the table from the very beginning. We still could institute a truly miniscule transaction tax in order to put the brakes on the worst of market-crashing speculation (and gain a few bucks back in return for saving the banker's hides at our nation's expense), but it seems you might as well propose putting a colony of talking dogs on the moon, for all the good it will do.
If our recession worsens, there is no recourse, for the Senate will not do it. For all the Americans who already cannot tell the difference between this "recession" and a "depression" -- losing your home and living in your car, or losing your car and living in a box, makes the subtleties of economic theory seem rather more pedantic than usual -- it has been known that the unemployment "extensions" finally squeezed out of the petulant Senate like blood from a stone, in a time of record numbers of jobless, is the last our government wants to hear of the matter, and future unemployed Americans can suck borrowed eggs.
Think of it: nearly half our Senate is dedicated to not governing. As an open policy. In a time of national crisis.
In comparison, that makes let them eat cake look like a case study in good government.
Bread and Circuses is a pertinent phrase here. It was coined two millennia ago, but it still serves as shorthand for the most crass and familiar form of cheap populism. Give the people of a country enough food to eat and enough ostentation and sport, and they will be satiated, and their other demands will be minimal, and their politicians will have an easy time of it. The other implication is that even the stupidest or most corrupt politician knows not to mess with the nation's daily bread, for that is the single best way to get an otherwise complacent population to rise up and hang your sorry ass.
Well, America is very good at circuses. Brilliant at them, in fact. Entertainment is our national core competence: we may no longer be a nation of manufacturing or of technological prowess, but circuses we can do. Now that our movies are in 3-D, every exploding robot counts for at least a dollar more than it once did. Now that HDTV has finally arrived in force we can finally see all the latest reality shows in their full, high-definition glory. Ironically, even our "reality" shows are faked, overproduced hokum. We can't even do reality. No, America, in "reality" people stranded on islands, or shuffled off to rented mansions, or marrying Olympians or ice skating with tigers or whatever the hell the latest variations are -- in "reality" people do not spend their days this way, much less while participating in game-show shenanigans designed to humiliate everyone involved in ever-more-inventive ways. That does not count as reality. That counts as circus.
But the kicker, of course, is that our politics is a perfect mirror of all of this. Even among the most serious of institutions, political coverage exists primarily under the reality, i.e. game show format. There are winners and losers, there are gaffes and blunders and insults and the like, but policy discussion is scattered at best. And hell, even the policy discussion is conducted as a circus unto itself. Why consult experts, when ideological bickering will do?
And the other kicker here, the real one, is that the political circuses within our government have become so ornate that there is little room left for providing the bread.
For a country that has already been dealt such a heavy blow from the greed of its most enfranchised, no good can come from that. It is a dangerous place to be.