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Thursday, July 29, 2010

Regarding the Deep Bore

Posted by Eli Sanders on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 5:04 PM

Just to be clear: The fact that at least one Seattle reporter is finding the daily drum-beat from the tunnel antagonists to be increasingly soporific is probably a good sign (for the tunnel antagonists).

Why do I say that? Because that reporter's statement today reminded me of something I learned about message repetition while writing about Barack Obama's 2008 Democratic primary campaign in Iowa:

Even when you think it's working for the good, to watch this repetition in action, from behind the curtain, is nauseating. Political consultant David Axelrod, Obama's top campaign strategist, once told a reporter: "Here is the rule we follow with our clients—when the campaign staff and the reporters become physically ill over the repetition of the message, only then have you begun to penetrate the public consciousness."

Both Councilmember Mike O'Brien and Mayor Mike McGinn (whose message-repeater Aaron Pickus was spotted outside the O'Brien press conference today) benefit from having a very simple message, which is actually a very simple question: How are we going to pay for this thing?

No one has a good answer. But now that McGinn and O'Brien have asked it enough times—and in enough different ways—the public consciousness seems to have been penetrated. The proof is not just in the polling. It's in the reporters reaching for the NoDoz.

Overheard by Dan Savage at the Airport

Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 4:49 PM

"Oh my god, there are nuns in habits on our flight—that's bad luck, isn't it? Like flying with a high school football team."

The Heck He Is (A Republican)

Posted by Unpaid Intern on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 4:39 PM

Posted by news intern Galen Weber.

Denny Heck is the Democratic front runner for the closely contested 3rd District congressional seat, but there may be some voters in his district that end up believing he's a Republican—and its not just because of his moderate leanings.

As first reported by Liz Mair, Heck was erroneously labeled as a Republican candidate in a notice about the upcoming primary that appeared recently in the Chinook Observer, a local Pacific County newspaper. The notice, which listed all the candidates in the primary races and their party affiliations, appeared in the newspaper's legal ads section and actually originated from the Pacific County Auditor's office.

The Erroneous Notice
  • lizmair.com
  • The Erroneous Notice

What happened?

Pacific County Auditor Pat Gardner, a Democrat, explains that her office simply copied a notice they received from the Secretary of State, proofread it, and then issued it to the papers as a legal notice. She says the error in Heck's party affiliation was not in the documents given to her by the Secretary of State, which means the change must have occurred while it was in the possession of her office, and escaped attention during the proofread.

The notice, with the error, was given to the only two newspapers in Pacific County: the Chinook Observer and the Pacific County Press. The mistake has since been fixed online, and, according to Gardner, does not affect the ballots now headed to Pacific County residents.

It's unlikely this mistake will have any large effect on the outcome of the Aug. 17 primary. The Chinook Observer has a small circulation (it puts it, somewhat mysteriously, at "more than 6,800") and, while the Pacific County Press refused to reveal their circulation, it can't be large considering the sorry state of their single page web site. Furthermore, the papers' combined circulation is only a fraction of the total population of the county (estimated by the U.S. Census Bureau to be about 21,200 people in 2009). In other words, the number of potential votes that could even possibly be affected by this screw-up is small, especially when compared to the total number of ballots cast in the last congressional election for the 3rd District, roughly 340,000.

But if the mistake somehow does affect the election, it would likely only hurt Heck. Pacific County tends to support Democratic candidates (retiring incumbent Democrat Brian Baird won about 70% of the county in '08), and some of the county's Democratic voters who read the notice may mistakenly believe that Democrat Cheryl Crist is their only party option. If they don't check again when filling out their ballot, Heck stands to lose... a handful of votes.

A handful because honestly there's probably only about 27 people in all of Pacific County who even read these public notices from the county auditor. And, anyone interested enough to read the notice probably already knows Heck is a Democrat. (And, anyone who doesn't know he's a Democrat probably won't vote at all.) So if this was some grand election-rigging scheme masterminded by an innocent looking county auditor, it was a bad one because: 1. If it hurts anyone it will hurt Gardner's fellow Democrat, Heck and 2. The chances of it actually affecting any votes are remarkably slim.

Still, as the image says: County auditor FAIL.

Freecreditreport.com Television Commercials

Posted by Grant Brissey on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 4:36 PM

A place to spit vitriol here.

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Magic Fingers Will Lie to You

Posted by Cienna Madrid on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 4:35 PM

Doesn't a vibrating bed sound like a relaxing good time?

It quickly carries you into the land of tingling relaxation and ease!
  • It quickly carries you into the land of tingling relaxation and ease!

Especially a vibrating bed that promises Magic Fingers For Your Comfort that will Carry You Into the Land of Tingling Relaxation and Ease???

It's not. Despite it's 25-cent promises, you won't feel great. You'll feel like you're traveling down a gravel road on a high-speed bed bound for Hell. And when your journey's over and you're waiting for your ass to awaken, you'll realize that the only thing that could've made it more uncomfortable is if a stripper clown joined you for the ride.

Science Cannot Save Your Brain

Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 4:05 PM

As a response to the popular idea of the Singularity—the nerd-Rapture-like idea that at some point in the future, science will be able to upload our consciousness to computers—Dvice has composed a list explaining why that will never happen:

This may seem like a cheap shot, but "uptime" is something our most advanced computer scientists still struggle with. Hell, our super-sophisticated algorithms can't even keep a text-based microblogging service from crashing during the World Cup — what happens when there's a Fail Whale for your mind? Will it be like getting a hangover, having a stroke, or dying? You'd have to assume we'll all be "backed up," but that raises troubling questions too: when the server running You goes kaplooie, is your "backup" really you, or just a clone of you that takes your place now that the "real" you is lost? The Singularitarians don't have reassuring answers, and I don't want to find out the hard way.

(Also, if a Swedish kid torrents your brain, will that copy of you talk like a pirate?) In any case, I love that we are at the point where someone feels the need to pooh-pooh the idea that we'll all be digitally immortal someday soon.

That Bitch Is Still Alive?

Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 4:00 PM

Yep.

Today in Nerd Juice: Joss Whedon's "Big Fan"

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 3:47 PM

In this video from the Joss Whedon panel at Comic-Con, a "big fan" asks Whedon whether he has any "favorite actors." Hold on a second... that "big fan" sounds strangely familiar... and when he removes the hat and the fake mustache, OH MY GOD. Does the nerd juice squirt!

Is the Future of News on Your Phone?

Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 3:30 PM

Google CEO Eric Schmidt thinks it might be:

According to CEO Eric Schmidt, Google has positioned itself to make $10 billion dollars or more per year in the mobile business, from things like subscription news. "If we have a billion people using Android, you think we can't make money from that?" He went on to say that it would only take 10 dollars per person, per year, and among other things, Google might earn that money from selling access to digital content from newspapers.

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The New Project Runway Promo Completely Rips Off the Dexter Intro

Posted by Megan Seling on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 3:25 PM

Watch Dexter's intro and then watch this:

Does this mean a serial killer's going to be a designer in the new season of PR? Or maybe they'll have to sew a dress made of human skin? Or maybe the Project Runway people just couldn't come up with an idea of their own...

Family Research Council's Tony Perkins: We Can't Repeal DADT Because Soldiers Spoon to Conserve Warmth...

Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 3:23 PM

The Onion got there first. (Tony Perkin sexual fantasies via Americablog.)

Memories of the Space Age

Posted by Charles Mudede on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 3:15 PM

memoriesofspace_1.png

SL Letter of the Day: Can He Keep His Fingers Erect? His Tongue? How About His Forearms?

Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 3:09 PM

So my best friend who is 21 has been dating her 31 year old boyfriend for over a year. The problem? They have not had sex yet! Now, she certainly wants to, however he has some health issues and has some problems gaining and keeping an erection. Not only does he have diabetes that he does nothing to keep in check, he is also on methadone which is said to cause lower libido. They have looked into pharmaceutical fixes but they are too costly. Any advice on what they can do so they can finally have a real relationship? And if he isn't willing to try I've suggested that she ask him to allow her to get it elsewhere. Does that seem reasonable?

Girls Got Needs Too

Sent from the Savage Love App for iPhone

My response after the jump...

Continue reading »

Shelving Sarah Palin

Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 3:09 PM

Slate says that Sarah Palin's biography for young adults has been shelved indefinitely by Christian publisher Zondervan. Whatever the reason, it's certainly not because the bio paints a negative picture of Palin:

In Washburn's telling, Palin's sore subjects are either not mentioned by name or avoided completely. Katie Couric is called only a "well-known journalist" who "came up with a broadcast that emphasized one viewpoint, and it wasn't a good one." Vanity Fair, which published a critical post-mortem on the McCain campaign, is called a "widely read gossip magazine." Palin's 2002 loss in the race for Alaska lieutenant governor is chalked up to the fact that "during this run for office, her passion was surprisingly thin"—in other words, she never wanted to win that stupid election anyway. Bristol's unexpected pregnancy is not mentioned at all; a Zondervan acquisitions editor told the AP that,"We tried to stay away from the super-heavy stuff."

If I had to guess—and this is just wild speculation—I'd say that Palin's people could be working on their own Going Rogue...for Kids! autobiography, in which case Zondervan, which is owned by Palin's publisher HarperCollins, would pull the plug on the biography to avoid cannibalizing their own bestselling author's sales.

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Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis RETURNS!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 2:59 PM

...and this time Steve Carell is on board, and he's not about to put up with any of Zach's horseshit! Prepare for a juggernaut of hilarious fat and big nose jokes!

"Where can I get Eggs Sardou in Seattle?"

Posted by Megan Seling on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 2:56 PM

I don't even know what Eggs Sardou is, let alone where to get it.

Do you know where to find it? Share your wealth of knowledge in Questionland!

The Conscience of a Bus Driver

Posted by Anthony Hecht on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 2:56 PM

Poor, poor right-wing nutjobs. It seems that everywhere they go these days, they're being forced to tolerate other people who think or look different than them. It's just not fair, I tells ya.

A Texas bus driver has filed a lawsuit against his former employer, claiming he was fired for his religious beliefs after refusing to transport a client to a Planned Parenthood office, court documents showed Wednesday.

Edwin A. Graning worked for the Capital Area Rural Transportation System (CARTS) near Austin, Texas, for less than a year before he was let go in January. At the time, he told his supervisor that, "in good conscience, he could not take someone to have an abortion," according to the lawsuit. Graning is an ordained Christian minister.

Level-headed business owners who live near this guy (if any) should just start refusing to serve him. "Sorry, Mr. Graning, but I can't in good conscience allow you to see this movie/order that burger/buy that shirt. It's against my religion." Blacklist him. Let's all start arbitrarily refusing to do our jobs for certain people, see how that works out.

The O'Brien Amendments (Or, Five Things He Wants the Council to Consider Before Pushing Ahead With Seattle's Big Dig)

Posted by Eli Sanders on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 2:50 PM

Councilmember Mike OBrien, rockin' out with his amendments out.
  • E.S.
  • Councilmember Mike OBrien, rockin' out with his amendments out.
You half expected Councilmember Mike O'Brien to grab one of the TV reporter mics in his fist and belt out his new tunnel amendments in song, what with the sounds of a rock band performing in the City Hall courtyard filling the second floor conference room to which he'd summoned reporters earlier this afternoon. (And at least one of those summoned reporters would have found that a far more entertaining way to receive the latest news on the deep bore tunnel debate.)

You can hear the drum track the band added to the press conference here. But anyway, the news!

O'Brien has five amendments he wants the council to add to its resolution next Monday on how to move ahead on the tunnel.

1. The state should follow through on its stalled efforts to get $205 million made available to the City of Seattle to pay for downtown transit improvements that would help mitigate the impact of the tunnel project. Last year, state, county, and city leaders gave a lot of lip-service to this idea, but didn't make it happen. “This should be a critical component [of the agreement] before we proceed on a path we can’t back out of," O'Brien said.

2. The state legislature has to remove its requirement that Seattle property owners pay for any tunnel cost overruns, otherwise the project does not move forward.

3. The state needs to fully study the impacts of a tolled tunnel on traffic movement through downtown, and particularly along First Avenue.

4. The Port of Seattle, which has pledged $300 million to the tunnel project, needs to outline this year how it plans to raise that $300 million. A bake sale? New property taxes? What? “I don’t want to be committed to this project before we realize that they’re going to be on board,” O'Brien said, implying that he's worried the port might plead poverty down the road and force the city to come up with that $300 million instead.

5. The state needs to do an assessment of the risks in the final contract (which is bound to be somewhat different than the current hypothetical plans being floated).

“We’re about to head down a path that’s going to be really hard to back out of," O'Brien said, again drawing people's attention to the potential for a kind of one-way-ticket-to-financial-hell that's embedded in a project of this size and uncertainty (and, in a rhetorical two-fer, also evoking the warnings about the future tunnel boring machine—which will only be able to travel in one direction, forward—getting stuck beneath downtown with no way for it, or us, to back out of the suddenly very problematic hole).

"I just want to get firm commitments—to make sure the city has firm commitments from all the players in this project before we get beyond the point of no return,” he added.

The question is whether O'Brien has support from his council colleagues for any of these amendments. And the answer, so far, is no. “I cannot tell you that I have five votes on any single one," he said.

Asked by a TV reporter whether he wasn't just trying to insert a "poison pill" into the tunnel planning process, O'Brien replied: “These aren’t nefarious moves to trick someone into doing something they don’t want." Rather, he described his efforts as "prudent management."

Oh, and I said I would ask O'Brien for his feelings about SCAT, but someone else beat me to it (without using the acronym).

O'Brien's answer: “In general, I think the opportunity for citizens to vote on this type of commitment is really important.”

Get Your Ass Off the Couch

Posted by Unpaid Intern on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 2:39 PM

Posted by news intern Galen Weber.

Thursday:

Transit planning expert Jarrett Walker will be presenting "A Field Guide to Transit Quarrels," which examines common confusions and disagreements that come with launching transit projects. While that might sound boring as shit, Walker's talk is timely and probably essential to understanding the scope of the Alaskan Way Viaduct and the tunnel project, so go educate yourself. (GGLO Space At The Steps, 1301 First Avenue, Level A, 5:00 to 7:30 p.m.)

JOE FITZGIBBON JOE FITZGIBBON JOE FITZGIBBON: Tonight presents another opportunity to toast the dreamy 34th District challenger (he's even hotter with whiskey breath). Go see him, maybe even listen to what he's saying, but definitely see him. (Moe Bar, 925 E Pike Street, 6:00 to 8:00 p.m., 21+)

Streets for All Seattle is hosting a kickoff party for its campaign to make transportation in Seattle more efficient and friendly for pedestrians and bikers. The event will feature Mayor McGinn and members of the City Council, who will play some rounds of "Streets for All Jeopardy". Three bands will also be featured. (Nectar Lounge, 412 North 36th Street, 7:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m.)

Friday:

Spend a quiet evening at home recovering from this, IF YOU CAN:

JOE FITZGIBBON
  • JOE FITZGIBBON


Saturday:

The 43rd District Democrats are hosting their Summer BBQ and Silent Auction. The guest list includes names like McDermott, DelBene, Chopp, McGinn, and Conlin—a veritable who's who of local Democratic politicians, if you're into that sort of thing. For everyone else, there's pork. (Ravenna Park, 2000 NE 58th Street, 11:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.)

Who Would Reject Such an Adorable Baby Meerkat?

Posted by Megan Seling on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 2:27 PM

Charlie's meerkat family rejected him. Well who's laughing now, fuckers!? Charlie gets all the food he could ever want, a cozy stuffed duck, and a video on YouTube.

(Thanks for the cute animal tip, Alithea.)

Picasso Tickets Go On Sale Sunday

Posted by Jen Graves on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 2:24 PM

The show comes to Seattle Art Museum in October, and you can get your tickets here.

More Vulva'd Cupcakes

Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 2:18 PM

Now with piercings!

Hate Registration: Faith 102

Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 2:13 PM

BeckUniversitybyAaronHuffman.jpg
There was a problem when I went to the Glenn Beck Insider Extreme website last night to watch Faith 102: The class had been delayed for one hour to make room for a Beck-produced documentary titled Fundamental Transformation, about progressives and how they have a hundred-year-long plan to destroy America (damn you, Woodrow Wilson!). Because I made post-class plans based on Beck U's normal hours, I couldn't watch the class in real time—I had to watch it on demand this morning at 8:30. I learned two things from watching this class after the fact: 1. Glenn Beck is a bitter pill to swallow in the morning. 2. I didn't have access to the post-lecture chat room. Those dullards chiming in on what they've just "learned" has fast become one of my favorite parts of attending Beck University.

Anyway: As with Faith 101 (my notes on that class are here), our professor is David Barton, a smarmy man who has made it his life's work to prove that America is a Christian nation. This week, his lecture addresses the liberal myth that the Founding Fathers were secular-minded people.

Screen_shot_2010-07-29_at_1.18.54_PM.png

Not true, says Barton! And he will address these lies by looking at the two Founding Fathers who are perceived as the most godless: Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin. Barton says that this is a classic example of Deconstructionism:

Screen_shot_2010-07-29_at_1.23.25_PM.png

Barton says that Deconstructionism is “why people go all over the world apologizing for America.” Anyway, you know how Jefferson is a godless heathen? Wrong! He totally went to church. They had Sunday church all over Washington D.C. those days—in the House chambers, in the Treasury, in the War Department. Barton goes to great lengths to prove that Jefferson went to church. Why, when the Louisiana Purchase took place, Jefferson even allowed government funding to go to formerly French-operated Christian schools in New Orleans! He signed papers "In the year of our lord Christ," too! Of course, Barton doesn't once mention the Jefferson Bible, which suggests that he had some fairly huge problems with Christianity, but whatever.

Benjamin Franklin, though, he was totally a Satan-worshipper, right? Turns out, no! Did you know that in our original national seal, which was Benjamin Franklin's idea, you can see Moses destroying his enemies in the Red Sea? And that when the writing of the Constitution wasn't going well, it was Franklin who suggested that the Founders took three days off, to pray and stuff? And that when Thomas Paine was going to publish On Reason, Franklin discouraged him from writing a negative treatise on religion? Barton showed a heavily censored version of Franklin's letter, making it sound like Franklin was offended in a religious sense; instead, the letter sounds more like Franklin doesn't trust the masses without religion to keep them in line, and fears for his friend's life if the religious get a hold of it. I'm going to include Franklin's whole letter to Paine after the jump. I will mark the parts that Barton cut out, for the sake of perspective. In conclusion, Benjamin Franklin was a godly person. Um. Er.

Finally, Barton concludes: "Were America’s founders secular? No. I could take you through all the others, but just Jefferson and Franklin prove my point." Jesus fuck, I hate this smarmy fucking man. he's the worst professor at Beck University and I'm glad I only have one more class with him.

Continue reading »

SPD Agrees that Police Have No Authority Over Public Art

Posted by Cienna Madrid on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 2:12 PM

"This whole thing is an unfortunate misunderstanding," says Sgt. Sean Whitcomb, spokesman for the Seattle Police Department. "We have absolutely no authority to influence what art stays or goes—especially private art on private property." The unfortunate misunderstanding Whitcomb is referring to involves a year-old art project called "The Corner" located on the vacant corner of 23rd Avenue and Union Street. The Corner, which features portraits of residents, was removed after an officer contacted the project's creator and the property owner on behalf of residents about removing one particular portrait. Instead, the whole art project was dismantled.

Whitcomb says that certain residents were offended by the portrait of "Savior Knowledge" aka Anthony Knowles, a convicted felon who was arrested for allegedly selling crack across the street from his portrait just last month.

"They contacted a [Community Police Team] officer about that particular portrait," explains Whitcomb. "He was simply relaying their concerns. We shared information. We talked to both the property owner and the artist, through none of that correspondence was there the request that the entire thing be removed."

But "that's not the role of the police," says ACLU Communications Director Doug Honig. "It's improper of them to relay such concerns. If laws aren’t being broken, if people are complaining about public art or stories in the news, what the police should do is tell people who have issues to communicate with each other. They shouldn’t insert themselves in the situation."

Honig, who has seen the email exchange between SPD and the property owner and art project creator, says that the inclusion of the SPD logo on the emails, along with the officer's rank and signature, make it uncomfortable for citizens to assert their rights. "The typical person hearing from a police officer acting officially are going to feel a bit of pressure to do what they say," explains Honig.

Whitcomb disagrees. "It’s definitely not our place to judge art but if someone has a concern or information that they want passed on, we would hope they’d contact us. That's part of our job."

The Sex Ed Butt Puppet

Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 2:03 PM

Um... the sight of this thing makes me want to abstain from anal sex—at least with Muppets—for the rest of my unnatural life. (Thanks to Slog tipper Leo.)

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