What would Jesus say????

We thought you had to be at least 17 to release a memoir.

We thought wrong!

HarperCollins has acquired the rights to the future NY Times Best-Seller Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story, which will provide readers with an illustrated account of his rise to super-stardom. Here’s what the Biebs had to say about the book:

"Every day I wake up and count my blessings. My fans have played such a large part in all of this and they help me live my dreams every day. I'm excited to share just a little bit more of my world with them through this book."

Here’s some more from Bieber:

"Between the behind-the-scenes pictures and the story I think this is going to be something they can all enjoy. This is just another way for me to say thank you to my fans."

Very impressive, Justin. We’re sure your book will make its way onto many, many welcoming Tweenage bookshelves when it’s released in October.

[Image via WENN.]

LOLs!

He certainly has quite a lot of vigor!

Check out this AMAZEBALLS compilation of Mark Dacascos announcing every secret ingredient ever on Iron Chef America!

Watch! With each one, the glint of crazy in his eye just gets bigger and bigger!

Officially obsessed!

Thoughts??

We applaud them for doing this for a good cause - but can these ladies act outside of their scripted reality show?!

Sources have exclusively told PerezHilton.com that the ladies of Real Housewives of New Jersey will be joining the cast of the off-Broadway comedy My Big Gay Italian Wedding for a select number of performances in September 1st!

Housewives Teresa Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, and Caroline Manzo will portray the Wedding Officiater, Toniann Naso, and Angela Pinnunziato!

Jacqueline's infuriatingly dense daughter, Ashley Holmes, will portray Connie Scuccifuffio, and Caroline's daughter Lauren will play Maria Pinnunziato!

Former castmember Dina Manzo, who produces the play, will be making a special introduction before each of the four perfomances, and says:

“Just when you thought the hair couldn’t get any higher and the yelling couldn’t get any louder, here come the housewives. Everyone has a so much fun at this show. Audiences laugh out loud, it’s got an important message for everyone and the money raised from the ticket sales for these four performances will benefit such a terrific cause. So when I asked the ladies to be a part of it, they were thrilled to come on board. This is one wedding party you are not going to want to miss!”

A portion of the proceeds will be going to Marriage Equality New York organization, which supports gay marriage!

We actually think this is pretty cool! And if they suck, it will probably still be the kind of bad that you have to see for yourself - AKA just like every episode of their reality show!

And we're glad to see that Prostitution Whore Coke Fucking Whore Jafar from Aladdin Danielle Staub will not be terrorizing gracing the stage with her sociopathic presence!

Your talents are better suited for the sex tapes, bb!

[Image via (c) 2010 Moises De Pena.]

Four score and seven years, Liam Neeson was attached to Steven Spielberg’s Lincoln biopic.

After 5 years, Neeson decided it was time to leave Spielberg’s project. Here’s what he had to say on the subject:

"I'm not actually playing Lincoln now. I was attached to it for a while, but now I'm past my sell-by date.”

Neeson may no longer be wearing the beard, but it looks like we’ll still be able to get our President Liam fix with his role as Lyndon B. Johnson in Lee Daniels’ upcoming civil rights drama Selma.

Who will be the new Abraham Lincoln? Here are some ideas to play around with:

-Brolinham Lincoln - Josh Brolin may be morally ambiguous, but he could probably pull off the look. Imagine him with the massive beard.

-Bridgesham Lincoln - After Crazy Heart and the upcoming Tron: Legacy, Jeff Bridges seems to be a hot commodity. Plus, how cool would it be to see “The Dude” as our 16th president? The Big Lincolnbowski anyone?

-Bieberham Lincoln - Okay, maybe not for the WHOLE movie, but Justin Bieber could be a totally awesome choice for flashback scenes.

Who would you cast to replace Abraham Neeson?

[Image via WENN.]

Daniel Day Lewis! (Sorry Brad! We know you were up for this, but he's going to MAKE this movie!)

In a brilliant casting move, sources are suggesting that Guy Ritchie has chosen Daniel to play Sherlock Holmes' nemesis Professor Moriarty in the upcoming sequel to the flick.

We love when good decisions are made and this is definitely a good decision. Danny boy doesn't just do any old movie. He's the picky kind, so for him to sign on to this means it's worth our his time.

Thoughts?

[Image via WENN.]