Indecision Forever | Political Humor, 2010 Election, and Satire Blog

Looking for a fun vacation spot this season? If you're a journalist, consider a trip to exotic non-Cuba, the Guantanamo Bay Detention Center!

Several times a month, the military parades groups of journalists through the detention camps at the naval station here in an effort to clear up what it says are "common misrepresentations" about the way the camps’ 176 detainees are treated.

The tours — part of a package deal complete with lodging, ground transportation and three meals a day from the Navy mess hall — offer what the Pentagon promotes as a behind-the-scenes peek into one of the government’s most secretive missions in the campaign against terror.

Well, that sounds like fun! A "package deal" with a bed for the night, a Personal Driver, and Navy mess hall haute cuisine? Better than a trip to South of the Border, that's for damn sure.

Unfortunately, journalists who actually want to "report" a "story" will likely find their attempts stymied by the military's famous Gitmo brand of hospitality…

During their visits, journalists must agree to limits on what they can report and document. Among the biggest sources of disagreement between the media and the public affairs officers on the base have been rules that restrict what kinds of photos can be taken. Every photo in a camera brought by a journalist to the naval base is reviewed — regardless of whether it was taken there or not.

This has led to some awkward moments between military censors and the reporters and photographers who have come to Guantánamo with personal pictures on their cameras.

So to recap: Bring your sunscreen and your penchant for fun, but not your cameraphone full of photos of you banging the office factchecker. Got it? Good!

The idea of morality in America may seem kind of amoral, but that's only because immorality keeps morale up. And that's the moral of this story. (Somebody should print that on a mural.)

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

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This guy has no right redefining a coconut as something that can be divided into four parts anyway…

Read the whole thing.

Cal Thomas — who, according to Cal Thomas, is "America's #1 nationally syndicated columnist" — is very sad that Federal Judge Vaughn Walker found California's Prop 8 to be unconstitutional. He's also really sad that women are allowed to have legal rights over their own bodies. Not to mention how inconsolably sad he is that the Bible (or at least his own personal interpretation of it) is not observed as federal law.

Oh, there are just so many things that he's terribly terribly sad about — as evidenced by the ululating lamentations in his column new article charmingly titled "Vigilante Law" — such as: Supreme Court justices getting to make decisions, God not smiting us down fast enough, people having sex, gay people getting to have important jobs, and overt bigotry falling out of fashion…

"No less a theological thinker than Abraham Lincoln concluded that our Civil War might have been God's judgment for America’s toleration of slavery. If that were so, why should 'the Almighty,' as Lincoln frequently referred to God, stay His hand in the face of our celebration of same-sex marriage?

"There is more than one way to experience bankruptcy. America under the Obama administration is on the verge of economic insolvency, and now Judge Vaughn Walker has joined a conga line of similarly activist judges who are accelerating us down the path to destruction.

"We have been spiraling downward for some time, beginning in the '50s with the Playboy philosophy that gave men permission to avoid the bonds of marriage if they wanted to have sex. In rapid succession came the birth control pill (sex without biological consequences), 'no-fault divorce' (nullifying 'until death us do part'), cohabitation, easily available pornography, and a tolerance for just about anything except those who deem something intolerable. Such persons are now labeled 'bigots' when once they were thought to be pillars of society."

Oh, yeah! "Pillars of society"! Whatever happened to those them? Remember those "pillars of society" who screamed racial epithets at children, used the National Guard to block the entrance of schools or simply closed schools down rather than sit quietly and watch as black children and white children co-mingled while learning their times tables? Or, how about those "pillars of society" who took it upon themselves to mete out moral justice by beating homosexuals to death for the crime of being homosexuals? And what about those "pillars of society" who stonewalled legislation that would have given women the same rights as regular people? They sure were some "pillars of society," weren't they?

You know, though, Thomas shouldn't get too sad about the state of the modern world. They might not be as prominent, but we still have a few "pillars of society" floating around. God bless 'em.

(via Dan Savage)

On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart talked about the movement by Republicans to extend the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy. And while allowing the cuts to expire would cut our deficit by up to 30%, it's important to remember that taking money out of the pockets of the richest Americans could in turn have a detrimental effect on the things the wealthy buy most. Like solid-diamond guest-yachts, unicorn sex-slaves, and GOP Congresspeople.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.