Having worked on Internet stuff since 1995, I consider myself somewhat an expert. And I've got to tell you, far too many people can't write an email for the life of them. Perhaps this isn't surprising, since many Americans don't write too well offline either. But still, I have to deal with 100s of emails a day running this blog, my own business, and for many of my clients, and I've gotta tell you, far too many people do not realize that their emails are simply NOT getting read by me or anyone else out there.
Having said all of that, you guys are surprisingly good. The quality of email I get via this blog FAR surpasses the crap I have to wade through for my clients on their sites. I don't know how they handle it without killing baby bunnies.
Anyway, here are my suggestions to really tick people off.
John's Top Tips for Insuring Your Email Does NOT Get Read
1. Don't include any subject line at all - that ALWAYS gets my attention.
2. Make the subject something catchy, like: "Read this"
3. Just send me a URL with nothing else in the content of the message.
4. Send me some article, from God knows where, and don't include the URL of the article so I can link to it, or even confirm if it's for real.
5. Send me WORD documents as attachments, I never read those because of viruses.
6. Tell me to post an article that's already on the blog.
7. Ramble for a long time and don't get to the point until, oh, the 7th paragraph.
8. Ask me a question that you could answer quite easily with Google.
9. Send me an email about a typo I've made (which is fine) and then get really bitchy and holier-than-thou about it (not so fine).
10. Complain incessantly about me not posting some article or link you've sent as if I'm doing it on person just to spite you.
11. Don't update the clock on your computer so your email automatically flies to the bottom of the heap since my computer thinks it's hours old.
12. Send me that email about "Dear Dr. Laura" that quotes Leviticus and talks about selling Mexicans as slaves. That's as funny now as it was FOUR YEARS AGO WHEN IT WAS WRITTEN.
Ok, now that I've vented, let me say this more nicely. I do read all the emails I can, but in a world where many people have hundreds of emails to scroll through every day you need to do what you can to get yours read beyond the first sentence. I try to read them anyway, not everyone is as nice :-)
And now back to our regularly scheduled blogging experience.
PS Feel free to chime in with your worst email crime.
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