After GlennBeckPalooza: Will DC Ever Be the Same Again?

Will DC ever recover from the onslaught of thousands (or was it billions?) of wide-bottomed, America-loving teabaggers that trampled the Mall at GlennBeckPalooza? Beck’s “Take Grandma Out To the Mall Day” has left DC in ruins, RUINS: GW students have been scarred for life, the grass on the Mall is dead thanks to all those motorized scooters, and who knows if there are any Hostess Donuts left in the northwest quadrant. (Not to mention, all the Chinese kids in the sweatshops now have to work overtime to sew more American flags in time for Labor Day.) Hooray! America’s honor has been restored, but will DC ever recover?

This is when we pat ourselves on the back for living in a great, ethnically diverse, welcoming city that can thankfully survive even GlennBeckPaloooza. Or, at the very least, for having so many different ethnic food options to chose from.

If you want to bond with DC’s …

• Asians: Try Pho 14 for pho, or Sticky Rice for moderately authentic sushi, Sei or Oya for upscale sushi, one of DC’s many other raw fish establishments for affordable sushi and other Asian food.
• Jews: There’s Star and Shamrock if you like your Jew to come with a side of Irish, Eli’s Restaurant, if you prefer your Jew be Kosher, or the soon-to-be-open Uptown Deli in Bethesda, if you like your Jew to be delivered fresh from New York every morning.
• Latinos: You can go for DC’s Latin fusion side by trying an (expensive and tiny) empanada at Panas Gourmet Empanadas, enjoy authentic Spanish food at Estadio, or just indulge in some good Mexican food at Mixtec or El Salvadorian food at El Tamarindo.
• Germans: Try the Biergarten Garden where the beer is served by the liter and the Tuesday trivia night tests your knowledge of such important German subjects as Disney Movie classics and limericks, or Cafe Mozart, a German deli on H Street that offers an off the hook wurst selection.
• Ethiopians: These days, the best place to bond with DC’s Ethiopians is at Ethiopic in the Atlas District. Plus, any trip to H street provides the opportunity bond with just about every ethnic group in the District.

They’re plenty of other ethnic Restaurants in DC worth trying and it’s wise it eat up: It’s only a matter of time before the Birthers descend to fuck up the grass around the Capitol and make a mockery of our cosmopolitan District.