10/18/2010 12:00 am
Culture
Liz Smith: Memo to David Arquette – Want to Work It Out With Courteney? Stay the Hell Off Howard Stern!!
Also from our Gossip Girl: James Cameron desires Angelina as his 'Cleopatra' and pneumonia fells Liza Minnelli.
David Arquette and Courteney Cox-Arquette
Image: CC/Capital M/Flickr
"What scares me? I think it’s more adult scares. The biggest thing I’m scared about is where this planet is going. What are we doing to it? We’re chewing through the ecology of the planet at a breathtaking rate. We’re on a collision course with something awful. I guess that’s what I brood about – am I going to see the end?"
So opined horror moviemaker Wes Craven to USA Today. His serial-killer tale "My Soul to Take" made $6.9 million at the box office recently.
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WHEN JENNIFER ANISTON and Brad Pitt split up, entire offices came to a grinding halt as women (and even a few sensitive men) rushed into powder rooms to weep. Even hard-bitten PR people expressed their shock and dismay in the days following the famous tearing asunder.
Now, I’m not observing quite the same level of intensity over Courteney Cox and David Arquette’s separation, after 11 years of marriage. But I’ll venture that nobody really saw it coming.
You always hear that famous couples are having a bit of this or that kind of trouble. Sometimes it’s true, sometimes made up from whole cloth. So over the years there was a bit of gossip, but it was rather subdued. Maybe Courteney and David weren’t glam enough to encourage that level of chatter? (She was no longer a "Friend" and he was a wacky guy, given to odd clothing choices and with a somewhat juvenile sense of humor.)
Cox and Arquette seemed well-mated, tried hard for a baby (finally succeeding!) and, in all ways, appeared a reasonably levelheaded pair in a crazy town.
Now, it’s over, with supposed mistresses popping up and Arquette himself going on Howard Stern’s radio show to unload intimacies that have probably sealed the deal for Courteney. I guess he doesn’t want to try. Talking about your sex life (or lack thereof) to Howard Stern within 48 hours of announcing a separation can only mean the man wants a pronto divorce.
In their joint announcement, the pair called it "trial separation" and declared: "We still love each other."
Hmm … in my world, love means never saying "I don’t have sex with my wife" to Howard Stern (and his millions of listeners). What is the matter with these famous people?!
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SPEAKING OF couple gossip, this caught my eye on the cover of one of the weekly glossy mags – a picture of Tom and Katie, looking grim and in huge letters "Marriage Contract Broken," or words to that effect. The implication (as usual) being that Tom somehow "contracted" Katie to become his wife.
I hope Mr. and Mrs. Cruise stick it out. Just to stick it to the gossips.
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ALTHOUGH IT seemed a delicious fantasy at first, the idea of Angelina Jolie playing Cleopatra continues to make significant news, and inches inexorably toward a hot and sultry location shoot.
Now we hear that James Cameron, the Julius Caesar of the movie world, wants to direct Jolie in a movie version of Stacy Schiff’s excellent book about the Serpent of the Nile, Cleopatra: A Life.
Of course, Cleo was no snake, but a powerful, misunderstood, highly intelligent woman, who only killed her siblings (and others) when she absolutely had to. There was no such thing as blogging to get your frustrations out, or going on Oprah (or even Howard Stern)! Reasonable discourse about who got the kingdom hadn’t yet been invented. It was Cleo’s way or the highway – a highway studded with a lot of hemlock bushes.
Miss Jolie is such a fascinating creature herself, and with Cameron directing her, she might well succeed beyond our wildest dreams.
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Claudette Colbert did not bathe in asses’ milk for CLEOPATRA. The asses’ milk bath was a scene in THE SIGN OF THE CROSS, in which she played the Empress Poppaea. Those movies get frequently confused.
Elizabeth Taylor had a great bathtub scene in her version of CLEOPATRA.
I agree about Claudette’s Cleo - great fun indeed, very entertaining. She is incomparably stylish and witty.
Taylor’s bath scene was very daring for its day but, yes, I liked the "other" bath scene (in the scarf) better. I remain fond of Taylor’s film for its scenery, its epic scope, its wonderful score and the performances. It may not be a "great" movie, but it’s kept me entertained for half a century.
Interesting factoid of the times, Cleopatra was not a particularly beautiful (by the era’s standards) or shapely woman. What she had was energy, wit and charisma…and an eternally scheming mind, and a willingness to use her sexuallity to get exactly what she wanted…which was not always what she expected. Her sister was also written about, and said to be extremely intelligent, but far more attractive.
Claudette’s was the most entertaining Cleopatra. A lot of people though that Elizabeth Taylor looked spectacular…but I always thought she appeared a bit over-stuffed and far too tame to play the conniving Egyptian queen.
As for Ms. Jolie…scheming and conniving she has down to a science. And she certainly is not the sex goddess women seem to think that she is (curious aside…in polls asking if Angelina Joile is sexy, beautiful, etc., far more women than men say "yes". I don’t think that this is simply because she is an independent, single mother…the latter of which she certainly isn’t, as her partner certainly shares in full responsibility for their children. No, I think certain women yearn to be a walking boneyard with inflated lips who really has the ability to conceive of a plan to lure a man away from his wife, then execute it perfectly. I don’t get it at all).
Also, Cleopatra was, in modern parlance, thick. Not curvy, or voluptuous, but given to excesses of food and drink, and somehwat dumpy and shapeless. Her glamor was all about the mind and soul (or lack of such). Let’s see Ms. Jolie eat a cheeseburger or two to actually fit the role perfectly.
Dear Briana…I have read that Cleo was not attractive, but rather than "thick" somewhat thin, and long-nosed. In any case—-not a raving beauty. More power to her mind and ambition, I say!
Taylor was dull, tho she had some good scenes bitching it out with Antony (Burton)—a prelude to their marriage.
Miss Jolie will eat no cheeseburgers. The problem (as it was with Taylor) is convincing audiences she is a mere teenager when she rolls out of that rug at Ceasar’s feet.
Claudette was no teen, but she was vivacious enough to bypass historical fact.
In fact, Cleopatra was down right ugly, with a weak chin and large nose. Given that she was the product of several generations of sibling incest it should not come as a surprise that she was no beauty.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Rapunzel. Old Cleo may not have measured up to the Anglo standard of beauty, but when it came to the African standard, as an Egyptian, she was probably right up there with the best. From what I’ve seen of ancient Egyptian sculpture and paintings in the tombs, the people then tended to be rather slim. They were also portrayed mostly in profile. I don’t know why.
Beauty standards vary according to ethnicity, geography, culture, and (surprise!) plastic surgeons. :o) :o)
Just a few days ago the "Cleopatra" item was mentioned on KRTH-FM (Los Angeles) by DJ,Christina Kelley. Ms. Kelley has a special feature called Juicy News whereby shementions tabloid-style stories. It was said that the remake of Cleopatra might be in 3-D,LOL!!
Although a lack of sex in a marriage can lead to conflict within the relationship, it is (IMO) NEVER the reason for a divorce. I heard David’s excuse as to the fracture in his relationship and it was annoying to listen to. If they weren’t having sex on a regular basis the answer wasn’t for him to step outside his marriage to have his needs satisfied.
I personally didn’t think their marriage would be a long and happy one because although I recognize the double standard, I don’t think a woman who is older than her guy is destined to go the distance. Unlike men that are older than their lady usually does. It seems to me women who date younger guys inevitably end up feeling like the mother in the situation and resent it. While a guy that is older than the woman takes on the role of "daddy" and the provider, which a lot of women are open to and on some level, prefer.
Belinda…by Hollywood standards, 11 years is epic. Perhaps Courtney wouldn’t have felt so "motherly" had she and David gone the rumored route of Demi and Ashton—threesomes. Yeah, maybe she would have simply felt degraded.
Threesomes are a bad idea for supposedly committed couples. It will inevitably lead to disaster. And for once, I don’t speak from experience. I knew better than to ever go that route with B. Or even wander nearby.
I actually hope these two patch it up. What? I’m a big softie. I like happy endings.