Thursday, October 21st, 2010

17

My Former Best Friend's Wedding

by Eryn Loeb October 21st, 2010

I came late to Facebook, after going through all the predictable phases: the disdain, the excuses, the stalking via “borrowed” log-in, the particular form of procrastination known as “what-would-I-put-in-my-hypothetical-profile?,” followed eventually by an ambivalent, job-search related realization that I had to bite the bullet. But before I did—before I opened the floodgates of reconnection—I knew I had to pick up the phone and call my childhood best friend. We hadn’t talked in years, but I couldn’t stand the thought of putting our past on the same level as everyone else’s, basically ensuring that our long history would be reduced to smiley, yearbook-style platitudes. Read More

0

"Deathdream"

by Sean McTiernan October 21st, 2010

There's nothing funny about Deathdream. Most horror films, when given the right context, can be made fun of in some way. Show The Exorcist to a room full of drunk people in daylight and it's the funniest movie ever made. And as for torture porn? Well, there's a difference between undeniable dread and undeniable nausea. But Deathdream—because of what it's topic, the quality of performances and the subtle way it creates unease—is an unshakably grave movie. It also happens to be one of the best movies about the after-effects of the Vietnam War. Read More

40

"I disagree with spending / borrowing / printing — damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead! I disagree with the 'we won' attitude, which is the cowardly way of saying fuck you. I disagree with an administration that for twenty months blames Bush. If the president and his minions are so damn smart, why didn't they know the severity of the situation? The president has actually said (and I saw it on video) that they didn't know!… I have voted Democrat all my life, until I started listening to what Obama was promising and started wondering how the hell will this utopian dream land be paid for? For those who actually believe that their taxes won't go up in order to pay for all this insanity: good luck."
—Man, former Velvet Underground drummer Moe Tucker is NOT A FAN of the president. @4:12 pm

3

We all have our opinions about Virigina Thomas and her bizarre call to Anita Hill, but is she really as bad as Betty Draper? Movieline runs the numbers. @4:00 pm

27

Sarah Palin Disapproves Of Certain Positions

by Alex Balk October 21st, 2010

"Please consider the case of China bending us over a barrel as it develops rare earth minerals while we ban mining. Please consider Venezuela and Russia and Saudi Arabia and Brazil (as we subsidize their off-shore drilling) and all other energy-producing countries as the Left locks up ANWR, NPR-A, and other American lands that are teeming with our own needed energy supplies."
—Sarah Palin, stressing the importance of "drill, baby, drill," notes that we are being assfucked by China.

0

Three New Poems By Robin Beth Schaer

by Mark Bibbins, Editor October 21st, 2010

Flight Distance

Sugar was grit all through my feral year.
The sleepless alarm of instinct strung
every nerve on a trigger of quills. Read More

17

According to people who are actually listening to NPR (okay, it's Abe Sauer), bereaved listeners are phoning in to their ombudsperson, and sobbing about the contract termination of Juan Williams. @3:00 pm

23

“Everybody is offended by something. I’m offended by a lot of those little girls running around with their thong panties showing, but I can’t make that go away."
—Hamilton County (Tennessee) Board of Education member Rhonda Thurman responds to complaints from students who feel that religious messages broadcast over the PA at school are a violation of the First Amendment. Thurman suggests that if the students are offended they can simply "put their fingers in their ears." [Via] @2:50 pm

9

'Virginia Quarterly' Gets Clean Bill of Health, Will Resume Publishing

by Choire Sicha October 21st, 2010

The Virginia Quarterly, which has been on hold following the suicide of its managing editor, has had its review completed. The University of Virginia was looking into whether the magazine, and specifically, its editor, Ted Genoways, had played a role in the suicide. "After reviewing 23,000 emails and interviewing 25 current and former staff members, the report found that there were 'no specific allegations of bullying or harassment.'" The report did claim there were incidents where Genoways was "not being courteous or respectful," which, welcome to offices and magazines and the real world.

12

MOON CRATER SECRETLY FULL OF WATER. @2:13 pm

5

Bears Attack Japan

by Alex Balk October 21st, 2010


As if rampaging monkey assaults weren't bad enough, the poor citizenry of Japan is suffering through a wave of bear attacks.. Read More

5

“Spent day practising. Worthwhile, I hope!”
—Janet Maslin interviews Keith Richards, memoirist. It's a pretty standard piece, but these two lines from the 19-year-old Keith's diary gave me the biggest smile I've had thus far today. The nervousness and restrained exuberance from a kid who would grow up to be a 20th century legend are really just heartwarming. @1:40 pm

20

Guess We Won't Be Running An Interview with Kat Stacks

by Choire Sicha October 21st, 2010

E-mailed trying to get a Kat Stacks interview for @Awl. The reply: "1,500 for interviews,thanks." Better than any interview!less than a minute ago via webCord
cordjefferson

For those not in the know, Kat Stacks has spent most of the year "taking the rap-centric Internet by storm with her spicy tales of sexual conquests" with rappers.

20

Hipsters, the 90s and the Fragmentation of the Mainstream

by Choire Sicha October 21st, 2010

"In the ’90s, when we were afraid of ‘selling out,’ we hated the gatekeepers, the mainstream corporate culture that assimilated and corrupted the underground. Now that the mainstream has fragmented, we see it as just another tool to get our message across, and our animosity has been forced to move on to another bugbear that is, like mass culture, ultimately a version of ourselves: the fake hipster."

27

Women Are Always Living Longer, Am I Right?

by Alex Balk October 21st, 2010

Once again we confront the question of why women live longer than men do. While the conventional wisdom holds that after so many years of dealing with female craziness men are happy to die, Science has an alternative theory: Women are less disposable than men, i.e. we need them to stick around longer if we're going to survive as a species. Read More

11

Julian Cope Is 53

by Alex Balk October 21st, 2010


Happy 53rd birthday to the amazing Julian Cope.

14

Breaststroke is the Best Stroke

by Amy Jean Porter October 21st, 2010

Read More

17

The Democratic party is angering voters will all its sneering elitism, says Ben Smith. They'd do better to acknowledge the innate wisdom of common folk. Say, for example, Indiana's Norman Dennison, who feels this way about climate change: "It’s a flat-out lie. I read my Bible. He made this earth for us to utilize." Or small-business owner Lisa Deaton, who says, "They’re trying to use global warming against the people. It takes way our liberty. Being a strong Christian, I cannot help but believe the Lord placed a lot of minerals in our country and it’s not there to destroy us." I mean, how can you argue with Jesus? @12:10 pm

4

Have You Applied to be Editor of 'Newsweek' Yet?

by Choire Sicha October 21st, 2010


The video explains all. Apply within: nwktumblr@gmail.com. Or just mail it to 395 Hudson Street, NY NY 10014, ATTN: I WILL EDIT YOUR MAGAZINE THE BEST I PROMISE.

12

World's Longest Cat Lengthy, Feline

by Alex Balk October 21st, 2010


You're on the Internet, right? Clearly you want to see the world's longest domestic cat. Who am I to tell you no? Enjoy, freaks.

8

A Comprehensive Guide to Brooklyn's Street Art

by Choire Sicha October 21st, 2010

Photographer Garrett Ziegler is amassing the best collection of documentation of Williamsburg street art. My three faves. Read More

10

"A textbook distributed to Virginia fourth-graders says that thousands of African Americans fought for the South during the Civil War — a claim rejected by most historians but often made by groups seeking to play down slavery's role as a cause of the conflict. The passage appears in 'Our Virginia: Past and Present,' which was distributed in the state's public elementary schools for the first time last month. The author, Joy Masoff, who is not a trained historian but has written several books, said she found the information about black Confederate soldiers primarily through Internet research…" The last line of this article is pretty killer. @11:05 am

69

11 Famous People We Just Realized We Don't Really Know Who They Are

by Choire Sicha October 21st, 2010

Hoda Kotb

Sheldon Adelson

Taylor Swift

Larry Burstein Read More

10

The six steps of the escape theory, or the stages a person goes through leading up to suicide. You might want to keep this one handy for future reference. @10:30 am

49

That Guy NPR Fired Should Totally Go Back to France

by Choire Sicha October 21st, 2010

NPR fired one of their news analysts, Panama-born (just like John McCain!) Juan Williams, author of Thurgood Marshall: American Revolutionary, for comments earlier this week on Fox News. He said that he gets "nervous" when he gets on a plane and sees "people who are in Muslim garb" and he thinks "they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims." The second part of this statement is what we imagine constituted the firing, because that's stupid. And dumb. And strangely French! That land of nationalism through conformity! In America? We don't do that. The first part, though… well? Heck. Juan just doesn't fly enough. Here are some things that make me nervous when I get on planes. Read More

6

Ari Up, 1962-2010

by Alex Balk October 21st, 2010


Arianna Forster, who started the punk band The Slits at the age of 14, has passed away after "a serious illness." Lead singer Foster, better known as Ari Up, was 48.

6

Meet Iran Ghavami, Australia's Six-Year-Old Dacking Hero

by Choire Sicha October 21st, 2010

A six-year-old Australian girl has been banned from her school bus for five days, after facing bullying over her hijab. In response to being teased by a boy on the bus, she pulled down his pants. Her school is 40 miles from her house, so she'll have a nice week to sit at home and think about how life isn't fair while her bully goes to school. In other news, Australia has a word for pulling down people's pants in retribution: it is "dacking." Now you know.

35

Bob Guccione, 1930-2010

by Alex Balk October 21st, 2010

It's a sad day for sleazy Italians and lovers of beaver shots everywhere: Penthouse founder Robert Charles Joseph Edward Sabatini Guccione has passed away at the age of 79. Guccione, who forever changed the way we look at nude women—I mean, he really got up in there—is the first in the triumvirate our nation's naked lady picture pushers to die. Despite a glamorous, incredibly tacky life that featured forays into film, science ("He once hired 82 scientists to develop a small nuclear reactor as a low-cost energy source, but it came to nothing and cost $17 million.") and gambling, Guccione lived long enough to see his fortune melt away, and finally suffered the ultimate indignity that any person can, dying in Plano, Texas. It is a tragic American tale.

116

Being a Hipster Is an Excellent and Wonderful Thing!

by Maria Bustillos October 20th, 2010


"It took me a little while to understand how much nastiness people generally intended when they used the word hipster. It just sounds sort of attractive to me, a hipster. I thought yeah, I guess that is sort of my culture. Those are my people and I was just about able to go on thinking that it was a perfectly nice thing to be until someone pointed out to me or it finally sank in that it was meant contemptuously and I really I'm not sure I accept the premise that I think it's a self-loathing term and I've come to be very alert to this self-loathing propensity that surrounds certain kinds of cultures of what are essentially connoisseurship, generational affiliation."
—Jonathan Lethem, in answer to the question "Are hipsters ruining Brooklyn?"

The things that hipsters such as Jonathan Lethem value and embody are worthy things—surprisingly so, in view of all the mockery the hipsters come in for. I agree with him that a hipster is "a perfectly nice thing to be." It is a pity that anyone should be made to suffer so much, and so needlessly. Read More

3

Why won't President Obama quote the part of the Declaration of Independence that mentions our "Creator"? Maybe he DOESN'T BELIEVE IN HIM! I've got to say, for a secret Muslim who worshiped at a racist Christian church, this guy is the worst elitist atheist ever. @4:45 pm

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