"If you're gay, lesbian, or bisexual, would you sacrifice for your trans neighbors and siblings? If you're trans, would you sacrifice for your gay, lesbian, or bisexual neighbors and siblings? It's something worth knowing about yourself and those around you." --Autumn Sandeen, 4/19/2010, the night before GetEQUAL's DADT repeal protest at the White House
Public Calendar
Press/media, organizations, and individuals send your time-based event info to: calendar@phblend.net
The Christian Civic League of Maine's Mike Hein calls Pam's House Blend: "a leading source of radical homosexual propaganda, anti-Christian bigotry, and radical transgender advocacy."
He is "praying that Pam Spaulding will "turn away from her wicked and sinful promotion of homosexual behavior."
(CCLM's web site, 10/15/07)
Ex-gay "Christian" activist James Hartline on Pam:
"I have been mocked over and over again by ungodly and unprincipled anti-christian lesbians."
(from "Six Years In Sodom: From The Journal Of James Hartline," 9/4/2006, written from the "homosexual stronghold" of Hillcrest in San Diego).
"Pam is a 'twisted lesbian sister' and an 'embittered lesbian' of the 'self-imposed gutteral experiences of the gay ghetto.'" -- 9/5/2008
Peter LaBarbera of Americans for Truth Against Homosexuality heartily endorses the Blend, calling Pam:
A "vicious anti-Christian lesbian activist." (Concerned Women for America's radio show [9:15], 1/25/07)
"A nutty lesbian blogger." (MassResistance radio show [16:25], 2/3/07)
Pam's House Blend always seems to find these sick f*cks. The area of the country she is in? The home state of her wife? I know, they are everywhere. Pam just does such a great job of bringing them out into the light.
--Impeach Bush
who monitors yours Bevis ?? Just thought I would drop you a line,so the rest of your life is not wasted.
Feel free to share news, notes, or just gab about what's been in the headlines today...
***
In light of the fact that Porno Pete and Ken Hutcherson said I needed God the other day, I thought I'd repost this fun video from NC Pride a couple of years ago.
I was accosted by one young woman who wanted to save me from eternal damnation as I marched, so naturally I had to go over and film her. It was hilarious - her schtick was that Obama wasn't going to save us from the hellfire. I asked her why she wasn't out there protesting divorce. This got her briefly off message, then the cops told me to move along. Here's the video of her and the rest of the fundies.
Republican U.S. Senate incumbent Richard Burr and Democratic challenger Elaine Marshall faced off in a debate on PBS broadcast from UNC-TV studios in Research Triangle Park.
Democratic challenger Elaine Marshall accused Republican incumbent Richard Burr in their last television debate Thursday night of having views on homosexuality that are "wrongheaded and discriminatory." But Burr said she wasn't listening to him and that she was trying to inject race into a discussion of gay rights.
Marshall said that being gay or lesbian is a genetic matter and not a matter of choice. Burr said he didn't believe the science was conclusive on the issue.
Well one thing is clear -- Burr's another one hung up on the soap dropping in the shower as you will see below. The DADT question starts at 36:43. Judy Woodruff starts off with a side question of whether being gay is a choice. Watch it --
Moderator: We've talked about the military. Right now there's a battle underway in the courts of this country, the federal courts, and in Washington, over what to do about the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy against gays in the military. I'd like you to comment on that but I also have a very straightforward question, and that is: do you believe that being gay is--or lesbian--is it a matter of genetics, of biology or is it a matter of choice?
Marshall: Well Judy, it's a... your last question is the most important. I don't believe it is a matter of choice. I believe that it is a biological occurrence, specifically beyond that I don't have the scientific knowledge to say, but I don't really believe its choice. I do think that if there are people that want to stand up for me and stand up for every American and defend us around the world they should be able to do that. I believe the government policy on Don't Ask Don't Tell needs to be repealed. As to the judge and the courts - this is a law that Congress made, it is something that Congress needs to fix. The president has recommended it, the highest of brass has recommended it, and it is time that that takes place. It should have taken place but it hasn't taken place, and now we've gotten judges from the Ninth Circuit who, a judge, who has jumped in on this, probably because Congress didn't act, but it really needs to be decided by Congress and not the judiciary.
Moderator: And Mr. Burr, respond on the Don't Ask Don't Tell, and also the question on whether being gay and lesbian is a matter of genetics, biology or a matter of choice.
Burr: Well, Judy, let me just say I'm not sure that any of us know whether its genetic or by choice, and I'm not sure that's even relevant. If somebody chooses that lifestyle and how it might then impact our policies. Don't Ask Don't Tell has worked. Now personally I don't see a reason to reverse it. But that's a personal opinion. I think the country should have a debate. And what we should do is we should wait until the Department of Defense has gotten back the survey of those individuals who serve. That survey's back in December. This is not too far off. I agree with Secretary Marshall. This is not an issue for the courts to decide. This is a law of the country and only Congress can in fact address it. But I'm confident of this - that this is the wrong time to change this policy. We've got hundreds of thousands of troops deployed. We don't yet know what we might have to do, from a standpoint of changing the accommodations for troops if the policy changed. Now I'm not scared to have the debate, I welcome the debate, but I'm also very confident that we should time this in a way that makes as little impact on those troops that are deployed as we possibly can.
Moderator: And so the research that has shown, that indicates that gay/lesbian is a matter of biology, you would say...
Burr: I would only say that I'm not sure there has been conclusive evidence of what the result is.
Moderator: A rebuttal.
Marshall: I would respond to that by saying there is ample evidence that it is biological and Senator Burr obviously believes its by choice. That is wrong headed and discriminatory. We shouldn't be judging people by the color of their hair, the color of their eyes, the color of their skin, or other factors that they have no control over. That's wrong in America, and what you're talking about is governmental discrimination for something that's outside of somebody's control
Burr: Secretary Marahall, I'm not sure that I referred to anybody's skin color, or to their hair color. This is a very specific group of individuals, and I made it very clear what my position was. But don't bring race into this.
Marshall: It is because of who they are by factors that they have no control over. Gender is another one of those. This country has been replete with discrimination based upon things that folks have no control over, and its time in 2010, this century, that we end that.
Let's just say it goes downhill from there -- it's hard to recover after Sen. Burr says our 'founders' wrote the 14th amendment. That comes after the above statements about DADT. FAIL-O-RAMA.
During tonight's North Carolina senate debate, Sen. Richard Burr (R-NC) said he was against changing the 14th amendment to eliminate birth right citizenship, but said "it is important for the courts to determine" if the "founders" intended to allow for the practice:
BURR ON THE 14th: But I think when you have a debate in the country and that issue is raised, then it's important for us to have that arbitrator, the courts to come in and tell us did our founders, when they wrote the 14th, did they have something else envisioned?
I enjoyed doing this video, though of course when you're doing your part, you have no way of knowing how the finished product will turn out. Dan Manatt produced it and Joe Sudbay of Americablog and Adam Bink of Open Left corralled this motley crew together in support of Patrick Murphy. Here's Kerry Eleveld's take:
Progressive LGBT advocates locked in perpetual finger-pointing over the ailing equality agenda disagree on almost everything right now - except for the exigency of saving one of the community's strongest allies in Congress, Rep. Patrick Murphy of Pennsylvania, who led the charge on passing "don't ask, don't tell" repeal in the House.
A new video, expected to be released Thursday and produced by Dan Manatt, underscores the two-term congressman's tough reelection bid with narration from queer bloggers, grassroots activists, and organizational leaders, who are usually all over the map on how to best achieve equality.
And here's the video, featuring Robin McGehee, John Aravosis, Alex Nicholson, Rick Jacobs, David Hall, Joe Solmonese and your blogmistress urging you to support Rep. Murphy.
Divisions in the LGBT movement are all over the headlines. What missing is that we know how to come together around a common purpose. That purpose is to re-elect our ally and leader who kept his promise to pass repeal of DADT in the House: Rep. Patrick Murphy.
While we all sing in our own unique way, when push comes to shove, we are always singing the same song. That song is that we support those who support us, and that's why the LGBT community and leaders are coming together to support Patrick Murphy's re-election. Contribute to Rep. Patrick Murphy's campaign to push him over the top at www.actblue.com/page/LGBTforMurphy.
After you watch the appearance of one of the members of the fierce advocacy administration, Valerie Jarrett on CNN this AM, you'll understand why Dan Choi says what he did in that headline. She parrots the usual party line that the Obama DOJ has no choice but to take the legal route it is taking. Her robotic delivery didn't help either. I watched this interview in disbelief that she could flat out say what she did with a straight face, but hey, for her it's a paycheck. For those serving in silence and the subject of witch hunts, it's their lives.
At this point the broken record of messaging that is compromising our military's effectiveness probably needs to sound like there's a key in her back to turn.
And now watch Dan Choi's response to seeing that interview. Priceless. He says he doesn't need to be lectured to by Jarrett. Slam dunk - he calls all these legal moves by the President for what they are - political cover for the midterms, and Dan's tired of service members who put their lives on the line being used as a political football.
UPDATE: Jarrett went back on CNN to respond to Dan, and it's another FAIL. Joe Sudbay:
Valerie Jarrett was just on CNN to respond to Dan Choi, who earlier today excoriated her and the President over DADT. The clip, below, includes an excerpt from Dan's interview on CNN. She stuck to the same Obama administration's talking points -- the incorrect ones -- she used earlier today. It's stunning. Does the Obama administration understand how badly they've handled this issue?
Jarrett stated that DOJ "has no choice but to defend the laws that are on the books." That's just not true. She should know better by now, especially since the Obama DOJ has refused to enforce a number of laws. Even Ted Olson says they don't have to appeal. But she keeps saying it.
Then, when Wolf Blitzer asked her why the President doesn't say the law is unconstitutional, she claims he's done just that. That question HAS NOT been answered. It's simply not true.
We continue our series of conversations with selected pro-equality candidates in competitive races, and today we will have a liveblog with Iraq veteran and ally Congressman Patrick Murphy (D-PA).
Event: Live Chat with Rep. Patrick Murphy
Date: Thursday October 21, 2010
Time: 1:30PM ET
One of the more interesting races to watch has been that of Rep. Patrick Murphy, Democrat of Pennsylvania. The Hill poll out today has him up 46-43 over former Republican Rep. Mike Fitzpatrick, a remarkable swing from a poll that had him down double-digits just a few weeks ago. Murphy has always been of interest to me because he was the original co-sponsor and leader on the successful effort to pass repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell in the House- something stand-up for this straight veteran to do from a challenging district with a strong challenger lining up (despite the numbers on DADT, everyone was telling him to focus solely on jobs, jobs, jobs and stay away from those gay issues. Needless to say, he ignored them). He counted the votes and worked hard on the inside.
Murphy received the endorsement of the Philadelphia Inquirer and the final two debates are today. OpenLeft will host this chat simultaneously with the Blend, AMERICABlog, The Bilerico Project, and Good As You, so join us.
In the meantime, watch Rep. Murphy take on the doyenne of DADT discrimination, Elaine Donnelly of the Center for Military Readiness, during her EPIC FAIL appearance at a 2008 hearing regarding the Military Readiness Enhancement Act of 2007. Included in her submitted statement:
"Inappropriate passive/aggressive actions common in the homosexual community, short of physical touching and assault, will be permitted in all military communities, to include Army 6 and Marine infantry battalions, Special Operations Forces. Navy SEALS, and cramped submarines that patrol the seas for months at a time.
The ensuing sexual tension will hurt discipline and morale, but commanders will not have the power to improve the situation. Individuals whose beliefs and feelings about sexuality are violated by the new policy will have no recourse. The only option will be to avoid or leave the service. Forced cohabitation with homosexuals in the military, 24/7, would be unfair, demoralizing, and harmful to the culture of the volunteer force, on which our national security depends."
Via Americablog, I saw this illuminating AP piece, "Pentagon's task: Change culture to allow gays," that takes a crack at understanding the unit cohesion and disruption arguments made to justify the slow-go repeal process that has been traveled.
Will straight and gay troops have to shower next to one another? Will the military have to provide benefits to gay partners, and can it afford to? And the biggest question of all: Will gays be harassed or intimidated?
It comes down to changing the culture, and top brass say they need more time. The military has been long resistant and, at times, hostile to gays, and it draws much of its 2.4 million members from socially conservative parts of the country.
We are still stuck on shower stall. And by extension, I assume the irrational fears about male service members -- and we all know that women aren't the focus here -- being groped, the recipients of amorous unwanted passes and, naturally, sexual assault. By the same men they are already showering with -- if they are showering with them at all (open bay showers are not the norm these days).
Plus, I thought this was about following orders. All of the above are criminal acts, so what's the issue -- those committing crimes should be punished. Oh wait, perhaps the real problem is the lack of accountability in the system for crimes when they are committed against female service members by their male colleagues. That's not the fault of law-abiding, patriotic gays and lesbians who want to serve.
Advocates acknowledge that harassment will likely happen, just as it continues today with those groups. They say another aspect of military culture - following orders - will override any temptation to intimidate gays.
"If your commander-in-chief says this is the new law, then that's the way we follow it and we make it work," said David Hall, a former Air Force staff sergeant who was discharged under the 1993 Clinton-era policy.
What's most distressing are these ridiculous assertions that somehow, the bigots from flyover country are to be feared. That they will, en masse, cause disruption because of their rank homophobia and the Pentagon will look weak and helpless to do anything about it.
The men and women serving in the armed forces today represent less than 1 percent of the country's total population, and come heavily from rural, conservative areas in the South and the mountain West.
Among their concerns was how to effectively implement new policies for sharing close quarters and living facilities.
Military officials say privately that the service chiefs worry most about a cultural backlash and displays of intolerance that would make the military look as if it had lost control of its troops.
So America is unique in that its armed forces come from a demo so bigoted and ignorant that it cannot follow orders and our brass is so impotent that it cannot enforce discipline.
That is a serious argument? Wow. So all our allies around the world that have moved to open service without incident have superior critical thinking skills and discipline? Is that what they want the American people to believe rather than say "we'll make it work - it's about following orders"? We have a bigger problem than I thought with this WH and Pentagon.
The Blend's Lurleen will be on-site today to cover this rally:
GetEQUAL and Washington Activists to Protest President Obama and Sen. Murray
UPDATE from Lurleen: I've moved the press release to below the fold to make room for this rally update.
The GOTV rally for Senator Patty Murray was so heavily attended that the basketball arena was full to capacity and the overflow crowd (me included) were seated next door in the end zone of Husky Stadium. President Obama is still hugely popular in Washington state, and he's using that popularity to help us reelect LGBT-ally Senator Patty Murray.
Senator Murray is in a tight race with an opponent who is an anti-choice, anti-LGBT a**hole (pardon my teabaggery) who coyly refuses to say whether he'd vote for DADT repeal. Translation: "I'll never vote for DADT repeal but saying so in fair-minded Washington state would lose me votes so I'll just play dumb." Senator Murray, meanwhile, is committed to DADT repeal and has already cast a repeal vote.
The Get Equal protest today was small by recent standards but organizer Ben Crowther did a great job getting the story to local media. It is clear that with the combined work of SLDN, SU, Get Equal and so many others, President Obama is getting the message. I say this because while I don't recall him making mention of any other specific pending legislation, he chose to say this near the close of his speech (emphasis added):
The only reason we are here today is because past generations, they didn't listen to the cynics. They aren't afraid to push forward even in the face of difficulty, even in the face of uncertainty. That's why we've come so far through war and depression, that's why we have civil rights and workers rights and women's rights. That's why we will end Don't Ask Don't Tell. ...That's what Patty Murray believes. That's what I believe, and if that's what you believe I need you to knock on doors and make phone calls and talk to your friends and talk to your neighbors.
No timetable mentioned, but it is clear that at this point he knows he at least has to mention DADT repeal now. In Husky Stadium where I was sitting the crowd didn't respond particularly to anything earlier in that "rights" list until he mentioned DADT repeal, and then there was rousing applause. There just aren't that many queers in the world, so this tells me that DADT repeal isn't just on the gays' minds, it's the general Obama supporter who want DADT gone.
Call the Waaaambulance for the NOM-ster. Actually, Maggie, I haven't been thinking about you much at all, since that summer NOM bus tour was such a raging failure that I dropped you and perpetual flop-sweating Brian Brown down onto my third-tier list of homophobes along with The Peter and Ken Hutcherson. But if you want me to point some fingers at bigots who have helped create a climate of discrimination that reinforces young LGBTs that they are not equal in the eyes of the law, I'll be happy to do so. (NYP):
Do I have blood on my hands?
Major gay-rights groups are saying so. Each of us who opposes gay marriage, they say, is responsible for the terrible and tragic suicides of gay teens that recently hit the news.
San Francisco just filed a brief in the Prop 8 case, saying 7 million Californians who voted to protect marriage as the union of one man and one woman are responsible for high rates of suicide among gay people.
Evan Wolfson, one of the leading architects of the gay marriage movement, calls me out personally: "National Organization for Marriage Chairman Maggie Gallagher is among those who, with reckless disregard, attacks LGBT youth."
Former Clinton adviser Richard Socarides told the AP these suicides demonstrate why gays should be allowed to marry: "When you speak out for full equality now, as opposed to partial equality, or incremental equality, you send a message to everybody, including the bullies, that everyone is equal."
Apparently, either we all agree that gay marriage is good or gay children will die.
It's a horrific charge to levy in response to some pretty horrifying stories. Will gay marriage really reduce or prevent gay teen suicide? I felt a moral obligation to find out.
She then goes off on a tangent to discuss statistics about gay youth suicide, sexual intercourse, drug abuse and yes, bullying. Then she says this:
Forced sex, childhood sexual abuse, dating violence, early unwed pregnancy, substance abuse -- could these be a more important factor in the increased suicide risk of LGBT high schoolers than anything people like me ever said?
Gallagher's blind spot is mind-boggling. It clearly does not occur to her that adults -- parents who hold views like hers send a clear message to their children about inequality -- for LGBT kids, they hear intolerance, or experience abuse from homophobic parents. For other children, their parents' homophobia gives them license to bully gay (or perceived to be gay/non-gender-conforming) kids. The bigotry trickles down. What people like Maggie Gallagher say to their children can translate into kids who seek to escape through drug abuse, casual or high-risk sex. And some of those kids see no way out -- certainly no support system at home if NOM's message is what's delivered to them.
There's something kind of sad...no...hilarious about listening to two third-tier fundies jawboning about their activities. Peter LaBarbera will soon hold one of his sadsack Americans For Truth Against Homosexuality banquets and his headliner is none other than the well-known homobigot from Lurleen's part of the woods, Ken Hutcherson (you know, the paston and former NFL player who planned to take down Microsoft for being too pro-equality).
You blogmistress's soul has apparently on The Peter's mind, and my name came up during the circle jerk podcast. I spared you from having to listen to the entire program and boiled it down to two minutes of comic gold.
The Peter: He has been labeled by at least one radical web site as a homobigot. You're a homobigot (laughter), you know that Hutch?
Hutch: The best thing in the world, Peter, is to have the right people mad at you. (laughter)
The Peter: You know, that happens to be a lesbian activist named Pam Spaulding, and she needs God in a big way; she really does.
Hutch: It's Pom's Blend, I think...
The Peter: It's Pam's House Blend, Hutch and she has extra animosity for black leaders who are opposed to homosexuality
Hutch: Well, no doubt about it...just read some of her stuff...
The Peter: Yeah, she's black herself (Pam: so which is it? I was white earlier this week, lol!), and I think she's just...you know...I was perusing the web sites and actually put your name in Google and "homobigot" comes up high on the list there, Hutch...(laughter)...at least you don't have "Porno Pete" -- that's what I've got...(laughter).
Hutch: Oh my goodness...
The Peter: Cause, you know, I've got this prurient interest in gay sex, that's what they say.
I can think of no other straight man who rather be at a gay S&M gathering, than home with his wife. Such celebrations are fine, if that is your arena. If you are not into it, however, you don't go.
But, LaBarbera returns to such venues frequently and repeatedly. Each time, he takes the same exact "naughty" pictures and shares them on his website. There is never any new information, yet he still returns, year after year. Once he has the alleged smut, he posts the pictures online under a big "WARNING" sign - drawing more attention to the very images he claims no one should see.
...Unfortunately, LaBarbera no longer does get away with pushing his unique brand of perversion in the name of God. When he started in this "business", he could justify his behavior by claiming he was promoting "social issues." But, more than a decade later, most people - including many anti-gay activists I have spoken to over the years - believe he has "personal issues." I have been in television green rooms where LaBarbera's name comes up and conservative eyes roll.
Just do a search in the Blend archives...repeat coverage of International Mr. Leather, the Folsom Street Fair, surfing man-on-man web sites...all in the name of research. You can't make it up.
Thanks, Pete. I think my soul is well taken care of.
There's nothing like a first-hand account of an event like the Courage Awards, but it's particularly wonderful that one of its honorees joins us here at the Blend to share his report. Many thanks to Steven Thrasher, staff writer at the Village Voice, for doing this, as well as sharing video, photos, and his speech (in a separate post). -- Pam
Right: Robert Pinter and AVP Executive Director Sharon Stapel present the 2010 Courage Award to StevenThrasher.
***
The New York Anti-Violence Project 2010 Courage Awards took place this week in Manhattan. It was nice, but also slightly odd, to take a momentary break from all the anti-gay violence that has been occurring in the city lately, particularly as AVP had just announced a couple of hours before the event began that there had been an attack at the historic Julius Bar (which even pre-dates Stonewall in its historical significance).
But the mood in the Prince George Ballroom was celebratory, as AVP looked back upon 30 years of combating LGBT violence and prepared to honor the 2010 Courage Award winners - the Paul Rapoport Foundation, Gay City News' Duncan Osborne, and me.
New York Governor David Paterson, who has been involved with the group since his freshman days as a state legislator, addressed the VIP pre-reception. He started with somber words of encouragement for AVP, the Rapoport Foundation, and Osborne.
Then Governor Paterson did something I never thought I'd ever hear any governor do - he said my last story for the Voice, "White America Has Lost Its Mind," was one of the "funniest stories" he had read in years (Pam: see Steven's Blend livechat here). Given all the controversy that story has generated (as readers of the Blend might know from the liveblog Pam and I did on it last week), I was pretty shocked to hear a sitting politician publicly praise it. But if my jaw hit the floor when he personally told me the story was "the bomb," I flat fell out like one of Bishop Long's church ladies when Paterson started giving me suggestions for how I could rewrite it like an episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm."
Photo - Sharron Thrasher, BD Wong, Steven Thrasher
My sister, Dr. Sharron Thrasher, is a big fan of B.D. Wong, who was rocking it as M.C. and looked pretty stunning for being 50 years old (as he publicly acknowledged recently turning). We treated him to a Thrasher Sandwich.
B.D. infamously "stole" hosting the Courage Awards away from Sam Champion, and made a point to use his iphone during his remarks to show that he could M.C. a benefit AND report on the weather at the same time.
AVP executive director Sharon Stapel was joined by all of her predecessors, including David Wertheimer, Matthew Foreman, Richard Haymes, Clarence Patton, and New York City Council Speaker Christine Quinn.
Jessie Estrella, a speaker from the AVP Speakers Bureau, gave some awe-inspiring remarks about surviving hate violence. In 1999, Estrella shared, "I was viciously attacked by three men in Brooklyn. The reason, I am lesbian. While I was being attacked, a group of men cheered them on. I suffered five broken teeth, a broken nose and most of all a broken spirit." Despite being attacked again in 2008, Estrella miraculously shared that "Because of this I have become a stronger person, a prouder person and after all this, I still have no hatred in my heart."
Left: Nickelodeon producer Jason Pattan, architecture professor Andre Bideau, fashion designer Ericka Mays, Village Voice writer Steven Thrasher; Right: B.D. Wong and Sharon Stapel present the Courage Awards, along with Executive Directors of the past 30 years.
Delivered to the New York Anti-Violence Project, October 18, 2010
Thank you. I am so honored to be recognized with the Paul Rapoport Foundation, and I¹m especially humbled to be here alongside my colleague Duncan Osborne, whose integrity and vision demonstrate how necessary deep, original reporting still is, specifically within our community -- and I thank you for it.
Saturday night, I experienced something for the first time that made me call AVP¹s hotline. And while I was tempted to rewrite my remarks about that incident, let me simply say I am more impressed with AVP than ever. Instead, please let me share what I¹d originally intended, which are some thoughts on what I think about when I think about courage.
I think about people like Robert Pinter. Robert, after your arrest, you could have simply paid the fine and gotten on with your life. You may have saved yourself some embarrassment, and certainly saved a lot of time and maybe some money. But you thought what happened was wrong. You did not want it to happen to others. And you spoke up.
Your being falsely labeled a prostitute makes me think of my mother.
Now, if you¹d had the pleasure of meeting my mother, and I¹m very sorry that you didn¹t get to, you¹d have taken one look at her at thought she was the kind of mid-western bred mom, more known for her famous seven layer cookies, than known for turning tricks.
But when I think about courage, I think about her as, a young, 19-year-old white woman in Lincoln, Nebraska, sitting in a jail cell, accused of prostitution. Her crime? She had been on a date with my father, a black man, when the police saw them and thought, ³Why else could could they be together?² It was their first date, actually, and it ended about as poorly as any first date could.
When I think about courage, I think of her going on a second date with my father, a decision that would eventually lead to her being expelled from college. A National Merit Scholar of high intelligence, she would never finish her degree.
I think of her decision to marry my father, though interracial marriage was illegal in Nebraska, and she did this despite her own brother trying to have a cop friend arrest her before she could leave the state to legally wed in Iowa.
When I think about courage, I think about both of my parents, raising three kids on military bases around the country. I think of my dad, Air Force Sergeant William Thrasher, driving night after night to college, so that he could eventually become a U. S. history teacher. And he did this in spite of being pulled over and harassed almost every night -- by police officers who worked with him on his base and knew him -- but who wanted to humiliate this black man out of trying to get an education. (And it didn¹t work.)
Now, it is somewhat easy to see the bravery in the highlights of the 45 years of marriage my parents shared. But when I think about courage, I think of the low points in their relationship, too.
I think of my dad telling his wife that he¹d had an affair an affair that had resulted in the birth of me. I think of what it must have taken for that woman to forgive my father. And I think of her courage as she welcomed me into their home when I was six years old, and decided that she would love me as one of her own.
I think of this unassuming woman¹s never ending concern for others. How she¹d pack two lunches for me everyday, so that I could give one to a friend who never had enough to eat. How she helped a friend trapped in an abusive relationship get into a safe house. How she stood by a family of friends when the husband had a sex-change operation, while other friends turned their backs.
When I think about courage, I think of my mom watching first her husband, and then her youngest daughter, battle cancer. I think of the braveness all three of them, particularly my sister Dr. Sharron Thrasher, who is here tonight, and how they displayed such courage not just in facing the disease and battling insurance companies, but how they really faced the existential dimensions of what they were going through -- which profoundly touched the spiritual lives of their family and friends.
When I think about courage, I think about my mother learning that her husband had passed away, with his boots on, in front of a U.S. history class he was teaching.
I think of the quiet strength with which she faced life without her husband, one day at a time in her final years, as she also contemplated her own mortality. I think of how accepting she always was, so that when I understood I was gay, the first person I wanted to come out to was to her.
And when I think about courage, I think of my mother squeezing my hand the last day of her life, when she could no longer speak, but still wanted to express her love.
To Sharon Stapel and everyone at AVP especially my friend Kevin Krueger, who first introduced us (at Porno Bingo in Pieces) -- thank you for the amazing work that you do. Your staff supported me just yesterday in exactly the way I needed. I cannot thank you, and everyone at the Village Voice, enough for the confidence you have placed in my writing. I will carry this night in my heart eery day of my career, alongside the love of all six of my siblings, and all three of my parents.
But I must admit in receiving this award, if I have any courage at all, it comes from the people who have shared their stories with me -- particularly Margaret Thrasher, who taught me about unconditional love.
But for her courage a courage each one of us can tap - I never would have published a word.
The Obama DOJ gets its wish. MetroWeekly's Chris Geidner's on the case:
A three-judge panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit has issued a temporary stay of U.S. District Judge Virginia Phillips's Oct. 12 order in Log Cabin Republicans v. United States halting all enforcement of the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.
After DADT had been halted from enforcement for nearly 200 hours, the Ninth Circuit order legally makes DADT enforceable again for the time being.
In a brief order, Judges O'Scannlain, Trott and W. Fletcher wrote:
This court has received appellant's emergency motion to stay the district court's October 12, 2010 order pending appeal. The order is stayed temporarily in order to provide this court with an opportunity to consider fully the issues presented.
Appellee may file an opposition to the motion for a stay pending appeal by October 25, 2010. To expedite consideration of the motion, no reply shall be filed.
What this does NOT stop is the current guidance stated by the DOD to abide by the terms of the injunction until told to not to. Wait and see...
The idea behind Spirit Day, first created by teenager Brittany McMillan earlier this month, is a simple one, not dissimilar to the idea of "Spirit Week" held in many high schools, and can be summed up in three words: Everyone Rally Together.
Spirit Day honors the teenagers who had taken their own lives in recent weeks. But just as importantly, it's also a way to show the hundreds of thousands of LGBT youth who face the same pressures and bullying, that there is a vast community of people who support them.
Purple symbolizes 'spirit' on the rainbow flag, a symbol for LGBT Pride that was created by Gilbert Baker in 1978.
As one of the event's Facebook pages says: "This event is not a seminar nor is it a rally. There is NO meeting place. All you have to do is wear purple."
Wearing purple on October 20 is a simple way to show the world that you stand by these courageous young people and a simple way to stand UP to the bullies. Remember those lives we've tragically lost, and show your solidarity with those who are still fighting. 'Go Purple' today!
Today, TransYouth Family Allies (TYFA) launches the Amethyst Ribbon Campaign, an awareness project to battle suicide among transgender youth.
The Amethyst Ribbon Campaign was established as part of the Ian Benson Project. Ian was a 16-year old affirmed male who took his own life in October 2007. Ian's mother, TYFA's secretary/treasurer, hopes to help other children and families avoid the pain and struggles that can lead to suicide among trans youth.
"Transgender" (or the abbreviation "trans") describes people whose gender identity or expression differs from expectations for their physical sex characteristics or sex assigned at birth. Recent estimates conclude approximately 1 in 500 people seek surgical reassignment during their lives, with many more expressing their gender in other ways. Studies suggest that among gay, lesbian, bisexual, and trans youth, 50% end up ideating or attempting suicide before adulthood.
TYFA President Shannon Garcia described the symbolism of the Amethyst Ribbon Campaign. "The brilliant violet color of amethyst is also a blend of the pink and blue traditionally used to designate the male/female binary. Amethyst is a precious gem, chosen to represent how precious trans children are to their families and friends."
TYFA Executive Director Kim Pearson said, "Ian was our friend, he was the friend of our children, he was part of our hearts and the hearts of his family. To keep Ian's memory alive, we will help other families and children by telling the stories of our children and families, to reach out to the other Ian's of the world. We can help them and their families find the answers. In honor of Ian and all transgender people, we ask that you share this message and vision."
TransYouth Family Advocates is a coalition of parents, friends and caring adults dedicated to educating and raising public awareness about the medical and cultural challenges faced by children with gender variant and gender questioning identities and the families who love them.
To learn more about the Amethyst Ribbon Campaign, please visit the TYFA website at www.imatyfa.org or call 1-888-IMA-TYFA. The site includes information and resources for trans youth and their families.
All of our community's children deserve our love and concern. So, I won't just be thinking about how wearing purple sends a message today on bullying and lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans (LGBT) youth suicide prevention, but I'll also be thinking about amethyst ribbons today, and the specific message of those ribbons regarding transyouth suicide prevention.
Last night Anderson Cooper spoke with friends of the Blend Lt. Dan Choi & Alexander Nicholson of Servicemembers United about the developments on the DADT front, including Dan's re-enlistment. They did a fantastic job. Jeffrey Toobin, CNN's legal analyst, is also on hand.
Obama requests emergency stay of 'don't ask, don't tell' order
Finding itself in a strange legal position, the Obama administration filed an emergency request Wednesday with the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals to stop the military from allowing openly gay troops from serving.
In effect, the administration wants to continue barring gays from the military even though it ultimately favors repealing the policy known as "don't ask, don't tell."
"They are in a very bizarre position, frankly of their own making," said CNN senior legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin.
In court documents filed in San Francisco, California, the administration argued that don't ask, don't tell should remain intact for now.
The administration argued that changing it abruptly "risks causing significant immediate harm to the military and its efforts to be prepared to implement an orderly repeal of the statute."
...The Log Cabin Republicans, plaintiffs in the case that Phillips ruled on, said Wednesday that the group remained fully committed to defending this worldwide injunction because it is what is best for all service members.
"It respects their fundamental constitutional rights," said Christian Berle, deputy executive director of the group. "We'll continue to defend this ruling all the way to the United States Supreme Court if necessary."
Who can forget New York gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino's recent homophobic screed delivered to an Orthodox Jewish congregation:
"I just think my children and your children would be much better off and much more successful getting married and raising a family, and I don't want them brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is an equally valid and successful option -- it isn't."
Paladino was not only invited to speak by the congregation's leader, Rabbi Yehuda Levin, but the rabbi also claims to have written Paladino's lovely speech. Then after Paladino's weak "apology", Rabbi Levin withdrew support for Paladino, who he accused of 'pandering to "left-wing militant gay agenda"'.
Behind the scenes some of my Jewish colleagues were saying the same thing I hear from so many gay-friendly Christian clergy: "He doesn't represent us! Why are the anti-gay clergy getting all the press?!". The answer seems pretty obvious to me: those who seek to make public statements get the press. Too frequently gay-friendly clergy seem to hang back and let their anti-gay counterparts step forward and do all the public speaking. (There are some highly notable exceptions.) So it was with great pleasure that I read this moving Op-Ed "There's no place for bullying in God's world" written by the Orthodox Jewish Rabbi Steven Burg.
Congressman Patrick Murphy
The Get Equal protest today was small by recent standards but organizer Ben Crowther did a great job getting the story to 
Do I have blood on my hands?
Right: Robert Pinter and AVP Executive Director Sharon Stapel present the 2010 Courage Award to StevenThrasher.
Then Governor Paterson did something I never thought I'd ever hear any governor do - he said my last story for the Voice, "
My sister, Dr. Sharron Thrasher, is a big fan of B.D. Wong, who was rocking it as M.C. and looked pretty stunning for being 50 years old (as he publicly acknowledged recently turning). We treated him to a Thrasher Sandwich.
