Unemployed Security Guard Named World Siesta Champion

Pedro Lopez, an unemployed security guard, has won the first Spanish National Siesta Championship and its 1,000-euro prize. He slept 17 minutes in the middle of a mall, while issuing a 70 decibel snore. Our kind of contest!

Watch the Dalai Lama Edit the Toronto Star

Today's edition of the Toronto Star is actually worth reading for one reason: It was guest edited by the Dalai Lama. Here's a video of His Holiness' thought process while deciding what went into the paper's Sunday edition. More »

Kanye West's 34-Minute Music Video: The World's Most Expensive Lingerie Ad

Kanye West's 34-minute epic music video, "Runaway," will seem genius to people who think Kanye West is a genius, and stupid to people who think Kanye West is stupid. That's just how these things work. But it's definitely worth seeing! More »

Pirates Gain Momentum Off Coast of Kenya

For the second time in two days, Somali pirates have seized a commercial boat, this time boarding the German freight ship Beluga Fortune. Yesterday, pirates seized a liquefied gas tanker, also off the coast of Kenya. They're back! [AP]

Wikileaks' Iraq War Logs reveal that small amounts of WMD were found in Iraq. Comment »

#gossiproundup

Lindsay Lohan Is Finally Running Out of Money

Lindsay Lohan could only keep putting up bail for so long. Katy Perry and Russell Brand's wedding was ridiculous. Celine Dion and Matt Damon both had kids (but not together.) Sunday Gossip Roundup is a bundle of joy. More »

Pissy ABC News Staffers Allegedly Hate Christiane Amanpour

Some staffers at the DC bureau of ABC News aren't happy with the August hiring of "distant outsider" Christiane Amanpour to take over the Sunday talk show, "This Week." They really just wanted a boring DC insider. Boo hoo. More »

Smelly, Swearing Elmo Back in Times Square

Sleazy Elmo is back in Times Square, pestering tourists and creeping out parents with his awful stench and touchy-feely ways. One tourist told the Daily News, "that furry red thing was too aggressive. I think it swore at me." More »

SNL's Pitch Perfect Jimmy "Rent Is Too Damn High" McMillan Sketch

During Monday's New York Gubernatorial debate, Jimmy McMillan—of the "Rent Is Too Damn High" party—became an instant, nationwide star because of his hilarious antics (watch him here). On tonight's SNL, Kenan Thompson impersonated McMillan flawlessly. Watch inside. [Gawker.TV]
Yesterday - October 23, 2010

Huffington Post Columnist Fondly Remembers the Time She Profiled Muslims

Pundit Juan Williams got a $2 million contract from Fox News for telling the world he was scared of Muslims. Now this Huffington Post columnist wants in on the action. She's really scared of Muslims! Give her money and fame. More »
#opencaption

Halloween Costume Expert Lady Gaga Gives a Special Consultation

[Lady Gaga is interviewed by Anderson Cooper in London. Image via Splash]

Powerful Witch Community Squashes Offensive Beer Label

Wiccans flexed their muscles earlier this month by railing against the media's treatment of Christine O'Donnell's witchcraft revelations. Now, they've succeeded in getting the makers of Witch's Wit ale to change their logo from a witch burning at the stake. More »

Sony Kills The Cassette Walkman On The iPod's Birthday*

After 30 years, Sony has announced that they will stop manufacturing and selling the venerable cassette Walkman. In a poetic twist, the official death of the Walkman lands on the iPod's 9th anniversary.* [Gizmodo]

Shocked Georgetown Students on Campus Drug Lab: 'This Is Ridiculous, Even for Us'

Earlier we linked to a story about a Georgetown University freshman dorm doubling as a meth lab. Turns out students were producing the hallucinogenic drug DMT, or dimethyltryptamine in room 926 of Harbin Hall. Two students were arrested. [The Hoya]

Engineer Raymond Dekozan, inventor of the MetroCard, died last week at age 74. Comment »

Bill Maher Asks Levi Johnston: 'Are You Using Condoms Now?'

Levi Johnston is on the campaign trail running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, and stopped by Real Time with Bill Maher. Maher asks Levi if he uses condoms. Levi laughs, then offers, "I'm a big fan of Trojan these days." More »

How Not to Ask Unemployed Journalists for Help with a School Assignment

Amazing things can happen when journalism students email strangers for help with their class assignments. But not if they start out by insulting them. Here's an email request that could be interpreted as a little insensitive! More »

Wikileaks Founder Will Walk Out of Your Interview If Asked About His Rape Case

In addition to facilitating the largest military leak in U.S. history yesterday, Wikileaks founder Julian Assange is a petulant man-child. Watch him walk out of a CNN interview when talk turned to his pending Swedish rape case. More »
#opencaption

Wake Me Up When the Election Is Over

[The excitement of Ohio's gubernatorial race was too much for Virgil Reynolds, who was pictured napping at a campaign rally for Democratic Governor Ted Strickland. Image via Getty]

How Facebook's Targeted Ads Revealed One User's Sexuality

Earlier this week, we learned of a vulnerability in Facebook's targeted advertising system that could reveal users' sexual orientation to advertisers. It's not just a theoretical concern: A Stanford researcher used targeted ads to determine a user was gay. More »

Police say a Georgetown University freshman dorm room was doubling as a meth lab. Comment »

Randy Quaid and Crazy Wife Seek Refugee Status in Canada

Actor/squatter Randy Quaid and his wife, Evi, are seeking refugee status in Canada. Evi told the CBC, "We feel our lives are in danger," and referenced "murdered" actors Heath Ledger and David Carradine, who were friends with Randy. More »

Sony has halted production and sales of the good old cassette Walkman in Japan. Comment »

#gossiproundup

Taylor Momsen Bares Her Underaged Breasts to a Shocked Nation

A zen koan: If Taylor Momsen bares her breasts to a crowd but tabloids can't publish the pictures because she's underage, is it really a celebrity scandal? Of course it is! Saturday Gossip Roundup will bring you peace and prosperity. More »

Award-winning New York Times photographer Joao Silva was badly injured after stepping on a landmine in Afghanistan today. Comment »

Friday - October 22, 2010
#picoftheday

Test Tube

[The "YouTube Biennial" took over the Guggenheim Museum last night, broadcasting videos from the site on to the building's famous white walls. Another photo—from the other direction—below.] More »

10 Things You May Have Missed On TV This Week

In this week's compilation of pop culture crap, Michaele Salahi tries to say she left the State Dinner because she didn't like the food, Kathie Lee Gifford gets sexually scary with Andy Cohen, and a scarecrow outrages a community. [Jezebel]

Penn Jillette's Masturbating Bathtub for Women

Awkwardly-coiffed magician Penn Jillette is an inventor. His greatest triumph: a "hydro-therapeutic stimulator" for women with jetstreams directed to "stimulation points (e.g., the clitoris) of the female user when the female user sits in the seat." Meet the Jill-Jet. More »

Comment of the Day: This Person Has Something to Say to All of You

Today we looked at the unfortunate case of Meg Whitman's son, and it naturally got people talking. One commenter turned the ire inward, issuing a long invective against you, his fellow commentariat. Observe the splendor of his/her rage. More »

Florida's attorney general says he will not appeal a court decision striking down the state's gay adoption ban. It's gone for good! Comment »

The tax-dodging plutocrats at Google, anticipating a change of power, donated more to Republicans than Democrats last quarter. Comment »

Woman Drove Around With Corpse For Close to a Year

A police officer ticketed an illegally parked car and peeked inside. There sat a mummified female human. Apparently the owner's friend died while sitting there and the owner "continued to dress the body and drive around with it." More »

Weather Penis Rams Through Southwest

Meteorologists at San Angelo, Texas' KLST station recently discovered a massive penis of thunderstorms preparing to barrel through west Texas and penetrate its tip into Mexico. Video of this red-hot Weather Penis forecast, below. More »
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