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Awwww. Don't make him start crying again! (Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

Many people look at elections results and ask, "Is this good for the country?" We ask, "Is this good for gossip?" Who from the class of 2010 will shine on these pages -- and who represents a tragic loss for our cause?

Consider Speaker-designate John Boehner. You knew about the chain-smoking, the perma-tan, those sparkling green eyes, the awesome late-night parties at the Republican convention. But it wasn't until Tuesday night's victory address that we fully grasped his potential: He's a crier! "I spent my life chasing the American dream ..... " he said, then paused, choked up, fought back the tears -- only to start blubbering again about how he "put my heart and soul into running a small business." Not even Glenn Beck cries this well. After four years of reserved, precise (okay, boring) Nancy Pelosi speeches, it's about time.

Which of Tuesday's races were good for the gossip biz, and which were bad?...

Whoo-hoo!

Election night parties: Everyone's just a little too drunk, a little too drowsy. Sloshing chardonnay, deflating balloons, mobs of political dorks but no one on the dance floor. During Rand Paul's victory speech in Kentucky, "a supporter shouts 'Capitalism!' as one might shout 'Free Bird!'" More in Dan Zak's amusing nationwide roundup of the dissolute scene.

Of course if you were at home, then you saw the same thing Hank Stuever did on the teevee: Sarah Palin in "an elegant, soft Slanket clipped at the collar with a microphone"; Bill Hemmer totally kicking John King's butt in the dark art of electronic map touching; CNN's set, "a crowded and expensive steak house where they serve nothing but gristle" and everyone glares at Spitzer; and "the Muppet Babies band of young pontificators" all over cable.

T.I. and his bride Tiny, in happier times. (Kevork Djansezian/AP)

Hard time: It's no longer a good time for rappers. Used to be incarceration could boost a man's hip-hop career -- we think the kids call it "street cred" -- but these days, going inside costs you big, writes Chris Richards. You can't tour or promote your new CD, your endorsement deals with Remy Martin and Axe Body Spray dry up. That's the plight right now for Gucci Mane, Lil Wayne, Lil Boosie -- and now, of course, T.I., who just went back to federal prison this week.

(Getty Images)

George W. Bush writes in his new memoir that in his younger, wilder days, he once boozily turned to a lady at one of his parents' dinner parties with an impertinent question: "So what is sex like after 50?" She got back at him years later. When he was turning 50, she sent him this note: "Well, George, how is it?"

Also: He mulled dumping Cheney from the 2004 ticket. And Kanye really really hurt his feelings.

Michelle Rhee and Kevin Johnson. (James Brantley)

So it's official: Michelle Rhee and Kevin Johnson have denied us the East Coast-West Coast wonk royal wedding we'd all craved.

Oh, sure, they're still planning to get married. But she did not walk down the aisle as the D.C. schools chancellor, we can now say with some confidence -- so when it does eventually happen, it just won't be the same. At least for us.

Whether she had already married the Sacramento mayor -- before she left the superintendent's office Friday -- was actually a fair question. The lavish nuptials they originally planned seemed out of character for a couple that has mostly tried to keep their relationship under the radar: It was months before the longtime friends acknowledged in early 2009 they were an item, when we caught them holding hands at a pre-inaugural party. And instead of announcing their engagement last November, they just kind of waited until someone noticed the rock on her left hand.

Then they abruptly pulled the plug on the big California wedding they'd planned for Labor Day weekend, saying they were overwhelmed by the attention it had drawn and that they wanted something smaller and more personal -- but wouldn't tell reporters where or when.
So can you blame us for wondering if they'd secretly eloped already?

Johnson was by Rhee's side this week as the curtain fell on her tenure: They were spotted lunching together at Georgia Brown's on Monday, and he escorted her to her last official appearance, the Excellence in Teaching Awards at the Standing Ovation for D.C. Teachers event at the Kennedy Center that night, where she was jointly heralded (onstage together, one night only!) by the outgoing mayor who hired her, Adrian Fenty, and the incoming mayor who hastened her departure, Vince Gray.

We caught up with her via e-mail the next morning to figure out once and for all: Not asking when you'll get married .... but if you were already married, would we know about it?
Rhee responded: "You'd know."

Chaz Bono, 2010. (Gregg DeGuire/PictureGroup)

"I still don't remember to call her 'him.'."

-- Cher on daughter Chastity Bono, now Chaz, after a sex-change operation last year. The singer tells Vanity Fair that she's proud but still gets confused: "She's a very smart girl -- boy! This is where I get into trouble. My pronouns are [screwed up.]"

(Jonathan Alcorn for The Washignton Post)

The worst people to interview are journalists. Because they know what you're up to -- and they know how to do it better. Witness Manuel Roig-Franzia's dance with soon-to-be-former California first lady Maria Shriver.

"Asking a question that Shriver doesn't want to answer can almost be interpreted as an act of aggression... [She] suggests some questions that would be proper to ask her... So I play along and ask all the questions that Shriver suggests."

This "ventriloquist-doll" interview works quite well -- in Shriver's opinion: "We're having a mind-meld," she tells Roig-Franzia, no hint of irony. The Kennedy scion bristles when her own official event photographer tries to, you know, do his job. ("'That's enough,' she snaps... [and] affects the demeanor of the besieged starlet ambushed outside a Los Angeles nightclub.") And the question she really doesn't want to answer: What's next for her?

Maria Shriver readies for life after California governor's mansion

Morgan Freeman, 2010. (David Livingston/Getty)

Morgan Freeman has one of those instantly-recognizable voices: deep, wise, trustworthy. Which is why a L.A. political firm thought the Oscar-winning actor -- who's portrayed God, the president, and the smartest guy in the room -- was the perfect choice to narrate an ad for B.J. Lawson, a Republican running for Congress in North Carolina.

One small problem: Freeman's a Democrat and unlikely to work for a GOP candidate. So MEI Political hired a "voice double" to do the ad, which debuted Friday. "The audience never notices the difference," wrote a company consultant in an e-mail to Lawson. "It's one of those little secrets of Hollywood. We've used them with great success in political ads. We of course never say that they are the actual celebrity, but voters recogniz[e] their voice and trust it." (Don't want Freeman? They also offer voice doubles for William Shatner, Donald Sutherland, Sam Elliott, Queen Latifah, John Goodman, and Ray Romano.)

You know what happened next: Freeman was furious when he heard the ad and denied doing it. "These people are lying," he said in a statement. "I have never recorded any campaign ads for B. J. Lawson and I do not support his candidacy. And, no one who represents me has ever authorized the use of my name, voice or any other likeness in support of Mr. Lawson or his candidacy."

Lawson's campaign, which originally bragged about Freeman doing the voiceover, apologized Monday, reports the Associated Press, and claimed it genuinely believed he had done the work. MEI released a statement saying it disclosed, verbally and in writing, that it was using a voice double.

Nancy Pelosi and president Obama enjoying the speaker's cushy digs, 2009. (Gerald Martineau/TWP)

If all those polls and pundits are right, House Minority Leader John Boehner is not only measuring the drapes in the speaker's office, but picking out new furniture, paint and carpet.

Not officially, of course. "Right now, our entire team is 100.percent focused on getting people out to vote tomorrow," Boehner press secretary Michael Steel told us Monday. "What comes after that, we'll figure out after."

But all signs point to Boehner inheriting the Hill's sweetest piece of real estate, a sweeping second-floor office suite on the west side of the Capitol with a private balcony, fireplace and a spectacular view of the Mall. Like her predecessors, Nancy Pelosi put her own stamp on the rooms (fresh flowers, bowls of chocolate) when she moved in four years ago. "Before it was a very dark place," she told CBS last month. "Looked like a men's club. I guess there was a reason for that."

Newt Gingrich and John R. Kasich taking in the view, 1995. (Eric Pianin/TWP)

Pelosi did not, as some claimed, paint the red walls in the outer hallway into a Democratic-friendly blue. But she was the first speaker to post a quirky tour of the office -- "Capitol Cat Cam" -- on YouTube in 2009.

Boehner probably has his own ideas for the space, but can't move in right away. First, the GOP has to win the House, then on or about Nov. 17 (Boehner's 61st birthday), his party has to vote him "speaker-elect." The full vote doesn't happen until January.

It's not the only office up for grabs. If all goes according to GOP strategists, the unofficial musical chairs start Wednesday. Boehner would move to the office currently occupied by Pelosi, House Minority Whip Eric Cantor would get Majority Leader Steny Hoyer's office, and a Democrat would move into Boehner's second-floor office.

The architect of the Capitol and others move at least 100 offices every two years (and probably more this time): Freshman get offices through a lottery system, members trading up, and the new leadership shifts into the prime digs. "It's like dominos," said AOC communication officer Eva Malecki. Thanksgiving to Christmas is "controlled chaos. But we've been doing it for years." Most members are assigned standard-issue furniture but get to select drapes, artwork and paint color; movers, painters and electricians begin the process getting everything ready for the new term.

Where would Pelosi land? Depends on whether the Dems elect her as House minority leader. In the '40s and '50s, the House leadership went back and forth so often that Sam Rayburn (speaker three times) and Joseph Martin (who held the office twice) stopped moving offices and just stayed put where they were.

If she doesn't end up leading her party, Pelosi will have her office in the Cannon Building and probably a small office suite somewhere in the Capitol building itself. That's what happened to Dennis Hastert in 2007 -- he was given a first-floor office until he resigned his seat a few months later.

Then again, Pelosi might not be going anywhere.
"It ain't over 'til it's over," wrote Fox News congressional correspondent Chad Pergram. On Wednesday, "Republicans will know if they can really put their stockpiles of paint color chips and fabric remnants to use."