Tuesday - May 4, 2010

"'We know what it tastes like,' said Vermeulen, referring to victory." Fauxhemian kickball's back.

#disasters

Nashville Is Underwater

Here's the world famous Grand Ole Opry House, which—like the rest of Nashville—is now soaking in flood water. Sakes alive! The Tennessean has complete coverage. [Pic: AP]

Jersey Shore May Be Declared Criminal

Jersey Shore has always been guilty of being a guilty pleasure, but now the producers of the MTV show are being sued for supposedly running a "criminal enterprise," because they're "profiting" off of castmembers' fights. More »

On Wall Street, You Must Tolerate Your Boss's Cock

Yes, there are bad interns in this world. But there are also bad internships. Like the one where the boss sends you a video of himself jacking off, allegedly. More »

Which Two Actresses Are Bitter, Career-Ruining Rivals?

They play neighbors, but they couldn't hate each other more. Same goes for this married couple, who stays together for show, or how everyone in Hollywood hates this actress who succeeds on nepotism. Is there no more room for love? More »
#gossiproundup

Nobody Knows Who Ke$ha's Dad Is, But It Might Be a Guy Called 'Pat the Rat'

She knew they were related when he called himself P@t the R@t. Sienna and Jude are officially back together. Sandra's baby sells more magazines than Angelina's. Tuesday gossip is symbolic. More »

Sully Could Have Made it Back to the Airport

When US Air Flight 1549 hit some birds and lost power nigh upon 15 months ago, hero captain Sully Sullenberger heroically landed in the Hudson River, saving all aboard. One minor quibble: he could have landed safely at the airport. More »
#opencaption

She Called Him Brad and He Called Her Drew and They Both Hated It

[Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler filming their little movie in wherever they're filming it; image via Splash]
#justiceserved

Taser Takes Down Excited Teenage Baseball Fan

Philadelphia sports fans are notoriously crazy. So when a 17-year-old superfan ran onto the field during a Phillies games yesterday, one cop decided that enough was enough and fried his ass with a taser. Updated: video! More »

DC to Vote on Legalizing Weed Today

Residents of the District are getting excited about today's vote on legalizing medical marijuana. One man hopes to eventually open a café called "Wakey Bakey." To get the story, The Washington Post went looking for, and found, lots of weed. More »

Suspect in Arizona Rancher's Murder is American (Or Maybe Not. Updated)

The rallying cry for supporters of Arizona's new immigration bill has been the murder of rancher Robert Krentz at the hands of immigrants. But according to reports, the main suspect in the case is an American, not Mexican. More »

Why Did We Almost Get Blown Up? Some Possibilities.

Why would someone try to blow up New York? We're so nice! Blowhard congressman Peter King says there are a "hundred possibilities" as to why—even South Park! We run down a few likely motivations. More »
#baddecisions

Kobe Beefcake

[Kobe Bryant, here dressed as a color-by-number gentleman farmer, is likely to spend the next few weeks wondering what he was thinking when he agreed to a photo shoot with the L.A. Times Magazine.]

Police Arrest Man in Connection with Failed Times Square Bombing (Updated)

Faisal Shahzad, a 30-year-old Connecticut resident, has been taken into police custody at JFK airport. There is a Faisal Shahzad on Facebook whose profile picture shows him in Herald Square. Is it the same guy? (Update: No.) More »

Laura Bush Is a 'Secret Rastafarian'

Jenna Bush says her mom is a "secret Rastafarian" because she loves Bob Marley. "We sit around and we talk and we laugh and we do puzzles and we get in bed by 9:00," says Jenna. Sounds "Rastafarian" to us.

David Letterman: "If You Can't Say Anything Nice About Jay, Let's Hear It"

18 years after Jay Leno was chosen over him to host The Tonight Show, and months after Leno took the title back from Conan O'Brien, David Letterman is still bitter. Inside, video of Letterman's anti-Leno statements on tonight's Late Show. [Gawker.TV]
Monday - May 3, 2010
#appendages

Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See

[An energy-spewing pulsar takes on a form resembling a giant space hand. In a couple weeks, your aunt will email this to you with a Bible verse and claim it's proof that God exists. Pic via Chandra]

Jon Stewart Satirizes the Gulf Coast Oil Spill Issue

Tonight, Jon Stewart opined on the Gulf Coast oil spill and delivered three consecutive punches: the first, to the media for their predictable coverage; the second, to hypocritical, pro-drilling politicians; and the third, to BP for skirting blame. Video inside. [Gawker.TV]

Tom Colicchio Is Named Top Chef, Literally

The Beard Awards, a.k.a. the "food Oscars," were awarded tonight, and most went to big NYC food names like Tom Colicchio and Shake Shack's Danny Meyer. KFC, despite the revolutionary Double Down, was shut out. Click through for the list. More »

Teenager Sold SUV from Attempted NYC Attack over Craigslist for Cash

Where can a terrorist find a car for cash? Craigslist, of course! Nineteen-year-old Peggy Colas sold her Nissan Pathfinder to a "'Middle Eastern' or 'Hispanic' looking man" she met on Craigslist. Turns out, he wanted to blow up Times Square. More »

Sniper Sets Record with Kill at 1.5 Miles

British soldier Craig Harrison killed two Taliban machine gunners in Afghanistan at a distance of 8,120 feet, setting a vaguely depressing record. The previous vaguely depressing record, set by a Canadian sniper, was 7,972 feet. [Sky News]

Leno Recycled His Bad Jokes for the White House Correspondents' Dinner

What's worse than bombing in front of the president? Bombing in front of the president with hacky material you've already used. Politico caught Leno recycling material from his monologues in his White House Correspondents' Dinner speech, and edited them together. More »
#twitterati

Joy Behar Cuddles Up to 'Lover' Roger Ailes

Joy Behar smoothed things over with her Fox News nemesis; Ashton Kutcher fixed his drinking problem; and Facebook indulged in drinking and rehab at the same time. The Twitterati patched things up. More »

Did This Startup Founder Con Her Way Into a $750 Million Valuation?

Gina Bianchini's abrupt March departure from Ning was a surprise; in two years she'd taken the social networking company to an "eye-popping" $750 million valuation from just $170 million. Did she do it honestly? More »
#picoftheday

Smoke and Signals

[A woman flees the fumes from a flaming manhole at 40th Street and Seventh Ave today. This is the last thing Times Square needs right now. Image via AP]

Charlie Crist Cocaine Pics, Cheap!

Available on Ebay: "PICS of FL GOV CHARLIE CRIST snorting lines of COCAINE!" Somewhere "between 2 and 6 readily identifiable pictures" of ol' independent Charlie doing blow in the 80s. Starting bid $600,000. [And a nice Charlie Crist painting!]
#realestateporn

Spicy Lady Penelope Cruz Has a Very Bland House

For one of the sultriest actresses in Hollywood, Penelope Cruz doesn't much flair for interior design, as evidenced by her Hollywood crash pad which is currently on the market for $3.7 million. More »

Your 2010 Media Intern Price List

The only way to "make it" in the media now is to pay a huge bribe to secure a coveted "intern" slot at a failing media outlet, where you can begin sleeping your way to the top. The going rates? More »

These Do-Gooder Moguls Let Their Foreign Servants Take Beatings

When the founders of AOL and eBay retired, they planned a life of philanthropy. They were so busy saving the world they apparently didn't notice their own workers were being brutalized. More »
#opencaption

Olivia Palermo & Friend Stand Next to Mirror

["The City" socialite and an innocent bystander on Great Jones in New York; image via Bauer-Griffin]
#clipjob

Gawker.TV: The Five Best Videos Ever of the Day

Today at Gawker.TV, The Simpsons begin their episode with Ke$ha, inside Paul Rudd's computer, Bret Michaels plays it dirty on Celebrity Apprentice, Aqua Teen's Master Shake reveals his true identity, and a look at Billy Joel's Last Play at Shea. More »