The Mad Ramblings of a Confused Mind

NEWS FLASH

The Boyf has been in the garden picking up the doggy-doo's and now he's thinking of trimming the lawn..........

I am going to have to check for a pod when I get home (and seriously thank the aliens.........)

In other news I have been talked into going on a Stag Weekend in Liverpool with guys that I don't know!!!! And they're all straight!!!

(Okay the Stag is Justin - he is a friend of my friend Corina and she is his Best Man (!!!!!) and has had to organise the Stag Do!!! But she doesn't know anyone else going and has asked me so that she doesn't feel left out...........)

The coming weekend:

Let's see how many of these I get done...........

• Buy curtain and valance rail for dining room


• Put up curtain and valance rail in dining room


• Put curtains onto curtain and valance rail in dining room


• Drive to Parents (in Chandlers Ford) and fix brothers computer


• Catch up on Supernatural


• Catch up on Desperate Housewives


• Catch up on Grey's Anatomy


• Vacuum the house


• Tidy and sort the dining room


• Take excess books to Charity Shop


• Glue up new fire surround


• Finish painting the last tiny bit of the ceiling rose


• Finish the accounts for the other charity I am working for voluntarily


• Get the washing up to date


• Get some sleep


• Do some more knitting


• Buy buttons for Mothers Jumper


• Finish Mothers Jumper

So I explained all my issues to the doc; insomnia for about 3 months: chronic tiredness since last Thursday; migraines; sudden thirsts and weeing more.....

And his startling conclusion........

I'm overweight and tired!!!!!!

I can see why he's a qualified doctor and I'm not........

But it's not diabetes.

And he doesn't think it's anything to do with my thyroid (not that he has done any tests or even sent me for tests).

And he thinks the tiredness is just a virus (and the fact my poor body is having to lug all the excess weight around - you would have thought it would have got used to it and not suddenly started to complain last Thursday!!!).

So he has prescribed sleeping tablets for me (hmmmmmm slightly worrying as this is the same doctor who was repeat prescribing the boyf with pain killers that he got addicted to do).

So it's nothing serious apart from I am fat and tired......

Now most people are leaving now to get home - whereas I am thinking about leaving it until a bit later (maybe going to the pub first around Angel or anywhere on the way to London Bridge - any takers?).

What d'yer think?

Go now

Drink first and try later???

Arrived at London Bridge to be told 'no tube' so went and queued for bus only to be told after 15 minutes 'no buses going into central london' - okay so I walked.

But no mobile and very empty streets as I walk up through Bank to Moorgate (strangely closed off).

Anyway got in only to find out what has been going on - Oh My Goodness!!!!

My friend Corina was by the bus when it exploded - this is quote from her e-mail:

'I was next to the first bus. I mean right next to it when it exploded.
I tried to help some of the wounded but it was just horrific
I just feel so angry. I want to hit someone.'

She okay, very shock up and her hearing is buzzy?

Have checked that everyone else is okay!!!!

Any ideas for getting home this evening or just all go to a pub??

I have deadlines - very very strict deadlines! The kind of deadlines my director won't move even if England blew up (he's in America and wouldn't care). So now I am getting the excuses as to why I will not be given the information on time to get my deadlines done. And I have told them - not my problem - if this information is not with me by Friday - it is not included. I am going to have to work all weekend to process all of this anyway. But still they are arguing with me - can I give it to you Monday? What about Tuesday? So now are calling me awkward for not extending their deadlines. Sigh!! I not so much like work here it's more care in the community!

Still I have my friend Lucy coming round tonight for a Dr Who marathon (so I can catch up on the episodes that I missed), so I am not staying late tonight either!

Well life just keeps throwing it to us.

A very close friend of our was murdered on friday night!

Yes murdered. He was walking on the South Bank and was mugged - his money stolen and left so badly hurt his spleen had to be removed - he died on the operating table. He was in his early 30's (younger than me)

This was an ex-boyfriend of my other half's and a very dear friend. He has been having lots of problems lately and seemed to be clawing his way back up. He was the manager of the Admiral Duncan (the gay pub that was bombed in London a few years ago when some people died - he was also hurt badly in the blast!). And recently had to spend a couple of months in hospital due to a very bad fit and since then had voluntarily gone into rehab for his drinking! He was a lovely guy and now he is dead! Murdered!

Mycal is at his old flat packing - and has had to spend the day phoning and telling people. We have spoken lots today and every time he has just cried and wonders 'Why?'

The poor little love - I feel for him! And so he is out drinking to hide from things (again) and I really understand why! I, myself, have downed a bottle of wine and am going to now have a long bath.

How much more is he going to have to take!!!!

Sometimes things are just not right or fair. But we keep going!!

Perhaps I should right a book of my life - nah!!! Who would believe it?

Anyway bath!!!!

How Sweet you lot are..............

Thanks

All those posts (and listerning to Depeche Mode Remixes 81...04, especially Photographic - (Rex the Dog dubb mix - it's funky and dancey and uplifting) - have let sneerpout copy) has cheered me up.

And once the beautiful sneerpout has finished her hard work, we are going to the pub to meet red_cloud for a quick pint..... so not going to Asda tonight.

Boyf seems to making an effort at home to and is missing me (but will have to wait).

So feeling a bit better. Thank you for letting me rant and get it out my system.

[engages 'coping' mode]

[feels warm and special]

Okay I have been crap recently and not updated my journal for a while - but until I do please take the following into account for tonight.......

Halloween Rules


When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.

If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house - move away immediately.

Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.

When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go it alone.

As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.

If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.

If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.

Do not take anything from the dead.

If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.

Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.

If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.

Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.

Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.

Have fun.......

This week I have been mostly having flu!

Took Monday off to watch changing rooms/Monsters Inc/Lilo and Stitch whilst curled up on the sofa with daft_bitch, drinking my Lemsip.

Tuesday I phoned in early to leave list of jobs - got 3 phone calls about urgent stuff - thought 'Sod it' and went in. Turns out the 3 'urgent' things were actually only 1 - which I did!

And then I had to get the Management accounts out for August so it was head down and on with it and finially finished them this morning [Roja does little happy dance] so I still have flu and a weeksworth of work to catch up on - sigh.

So that's me for the week really.

Greif my life is boring......

But hey I am cool with that at the minute.

I know I am a bit of a sad Bastard but I have just downloaded some Robert Palmer stuff from the interweb (I still think his 'Addicted to Love' video is a classic - I know lots view it as sexist but I thought it was great!).

Have worked quite well today and have got nearly all the things I wanted done - apart from the things I didn't (okay tired now and really not making sense).

Time to go home! And cuddle daft_bitch - I really do not spend enough time with her - poor little love - but lots of walks and quality time together this weekend.

Not allowed to the pub - flickgc has banned from going out from a drink after work - which is actually a sensible idea and I have shopoing to be getting on with. And an early night is a really good idea as I have a works party thing tomorrow (one of the guys from work is having a sort of house-warning) and he has asked me to go round and help set everything up - sigh! Still I may be able to sneak off early.

Time to go home! And have a bath and a shave.

Love this song - have you ever heard it - it's the sort of perfect 'gay' coming out song - I used to dance like crazy and cry listening to this when it first came out - many, many years ago.

Okay waffling off the point now.

Time to go home!

The Joy!

If you read back on my LJ to 1 Aug - you will find a story 'Proud of Myself' (I would do a link but I haven't worked that out yet). Anywho! In the post today I got a Thank You Card:

'Dear Mr Sier. I'm sure you remember rescuing a very 'out of order' red haired individual on July 31 at Lee Station and escorting her to a cab office. Without your kind help my situation could have been disasterous. I had been at a leaving 'do' at work and didn't think I had drunk very much but 3 of us who had the same bottle of red wine had some excessive effects and we think it may have been spiked. One girl ended up in hospital so I was very lucky. Please accept these vouchers and my sincere thanks for being so kind. With very Best Wishes.'

Isn't that lovely of her - I had forgotten all about it! And now have some WH Smith vouchers! I am happy that I have passed a little bit of feel good on and nice that it came back!

The Pain:

I have been swimming - ow! - I managed 6 lengths (stop laughing - haven't been swimming for a year and that wasn't much) and now I have parts of my body that I didn't even know I had - and they hurt. But this must be doing me good and I will try and keep this up - good excuse to look at naked men if nothing else - not that there was anyting worth staring at!

So I have been a good boy today.

And let's not even get onto the 3 hour journey to get home last night - trains not running from London Bridge etc - I have slept and moved on.....

Note: Must remember my swimming cossy as I am going swimming tomorrow with one of my colleagues!
Note: Must remember how to swim!
Note: Must not cry if someone calls out 'There She Blows' - once I am in the pool.
Note: Must keep my eyes above waist level in the showers to not get a reputation!

Well it looks like the good weather has come to an end - however the weather forcast this morning said that it was going to remain really nice weather all week - with out-breaks of rain this afternoon (out-breaks?? It's a monsoon!). And of course I have left my washing out on the line and was dry this morning but Iwas late so didn't bring it in - duh!

Anyway the weekend:
Moved bedroom door to the dining room so that Liz can have some privacy.
Mowed the Lawn.
Hung some pictures up for flickgc.
Did 3 loads of washing (1 still on the line).
Changed the bedding (daft_bitch is happy to have cleam bedding and I noticed stretched herself out quite nicely over it all - Bitch!)
Watch some dvd's on flickgc's new fabby dvd player (Thank you too scarlatti) - that I had set up (ok just plugged in really)
Had a lovely Sausage Casserole - done by flickgc (you should try her baked potatoes - yummy)

So that was my weekend. But to back track quickly to Friday night:
It was lovely to see you all there, Loved chatting to (in no order): ladymoonray - lovely to see you and sorry you can't make the party, tamaranth - thanks for the Champange, humpf Gay Pirate indeed!, swisstone - again great to see you and sorry you can't make it either but we do understand!, kjersti - looking lovely after your jaunt, latexiron - thanks for the very wet kiss!, jhaelan - Happy Birthday Mate!, squiddity - was that your young lady sat on you, if so I didn't get the chance to say Hello to her!, capt_prickle - nice arse!, gummitch - nice to meet you!, d_floorlandmine - very nice bum and very nice kiss, want more! [giggle] and obviously my beautiful partner-in-crime flickgc. If I left anyone out - I apologise - but do I know your LJ? (and if I do and I did then I am just crap). But I had such a lovely evening - I feel very blessed (well I am very blessed but that's another story.........) to know you all (okay stop throwing up now). So A big thank you to Fiona for letting me attend.

I sit here at work - just about to leave for the pub - having a bottle of bear and a fag! (Hope some of you are jealous at this point), listening to Kylie loudly on my Computer (they all asked for me to turn it up!). And suddenley I thought I haven't spoken to my LJ for a while! So much to say and don't know where to start!

The Party: The Murder Mystery weekend was hysterical (I had to buy a Bow-tie and cumberband as my old one is just too small). Everyone made a real effort at dressing up. The game was fun - I can recommend it (or them) - I gather youcan hire them from you local fancy dress shop (a little plug there!). WE got smashed and I think I got to sleep about 5 in the morning and then was up at 10 in the morning and we cleared up and watched videos all day - 'Two Weeks Notice' (crap but amusing but a wasted oppertunity) - 'The Magdelene Sister' (very gritty but good) - 'Abandon' (weird mystery - watch it and see what you think - I thought a little bit obvious!)

The Week. Management Accounts all week and got them done by yesterday and therefore concentrated on payments today - knackered now!

But now I am goig to finish my bottle and then go to the pub to see the gang (how Harry Potter!).

Well what a week it's been... Fun, love and lots of laughter! Well fun and laughter anyway! My ex-flat-mate e-mailed me on wednesday to tell me that she can't stand living in Poland anymore (she loves her girlfriend very much but just does not want to be there fore the rest of her life) and rather than eek things out for a bit longer, she thought the kindest thing all round was to make a clean break and come home! So on Thursday night she is back! I am so worried about her but know she is one of those like me who will bounce back. So I have told her she is to stay as long as she wants until she gets herself back on her feet. I am sure flickgc and her will get on well, both are very lovely. But this does mean that I am losing my dining room before I even have it - sniff! But what is a dining room that I have never had compared to a friend having a safe place to sleep for a while. So this going to involve finishing the decorating and organising a bed for her and a door for the room - perhaps I will remove my bedroom door and put it on the dining room! And then there is curtains for privacey and moving the computer up to my bedroom (which I have been meaning to do!). So the home is getting full - but I am happy I love having my friends round me! So I feel a bit selfish for being happy from her misfortune - but hey every cloud blah, blah, blah. And as for daft_bitch, well she has 2 wonderful people to make a fuss of her and she is in little doggy heaven (oh yeah and occasionally she remembers who I am).

No B-Movie tonight for me - Boo Hoo - Don't forget about me and all have fun!

But Murder Mystery Weekend - Friends birthday and that's the plan - so I am playing the Right Honerable Someone-or-other! Have bought a false mustache! More post party!

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Well I am not feeling so good today - tummy feels funny and I am acting like I am speeding (whatever that is like) - all hyper!! And I feel a bit light-headed. Big news (for me anyway) - my old boss (another Evil Bitch) has resigned from my old job - hooray - I think! My ex-flat-mate (the one who moved to Poland to be with her girlfriend) has split from her girlfriend - very complicated to go into but very sad as they do love each other - and is flying back tomorrow. So flickgc, daft_bitch and me will be having a house guest! Am very worried about her but I am sure she will be soon back on her feet. Other news - the cheque I sent off for my back-owing of the Council Tax came back to work (they sent a whole stack of mail out with no stamps on) so I had to phone and apologise and pay for that off my switch card (plus all the other cheques that went out in the post that have come back - work stuff!).

Have just been out for a fag and watched a major punch-up on the street - some guy hitting a woman another hitting the first guy and then smashing his car up and glass going all over the place - honestly don't know what was really going on as so many people stopping and staring - but made for entertainment (even though a stipper/streaker/juggler would have been preferable as I really don't like violence).

Hopefully will get home at a reasonable time tonight (last train home last night the doors wouldn't work and it was cancelled and waited 40mins ish for a replacement).

Think that is me done for the day - apart from - what's a 'blog'?

Well it's been one of those days - was given the job of tidying my desk and doing the expenses - hmmm!! Oh Good I like to feel like a 5 year old! So all day I have been tidying my desk and fixing various computer problems and trying to actually keep up to date with my work, get the payments done that I had promised people (even though one of my managers decided not to turn up at all today - and I only found that out when I phoned to find out what time he was due in - and he was needed to sign off on some things that I had to pay) - Mega sigh. So now it's 10 to 10 and I am knackered and think I am going to go home and collapse into bed and really try and get into work early tomorrow, ladymoonray let's see if I make with my clothes on if at all.

Night night.......

Well that sums up my day quite well. It's not been a bad day - just one spent in front of the computer the entire day getting the management accounts finished off (not quite there just some final chacking to do and of course to wait for feed-back from the Evil Boss on the new layout - totally designed by me so she is bound to hate it - sigh!). And now I am going home to see flickgc and daft_bitch (who did not want to get out of bed this morning - I tucked the duvet round her as I left and she sort of weakly wagged her tail from under it - pathetic bitch!). Mindyou flickgc and myself are seeming to be going down with some throat thing - please no comments of the rude kind.

Not slept well last night - one dream involving spiders that I managed to fall back to sleep and get straight back into (oh goody - it never happens with really nice dreams) and the other was about my ex....... Let's not even go there apart from I thought he was still in bed with me this morning and rolled over to cuddle him and the bed was empty - sigh! Talked to him on Friday night and I still miss him so much - but I must be strong and not weak and pathetic. We split up and it's over unless...... unless so many things...... Honestly why am I such an idiot? This guy accused me of cheating for 18 months and made me feel worthless and yet there he still is in my heart whilst my head is screaming NO!!!! If only things had been different.... Opps moping now - time to go home and cheer myself up. Have done a grovey new hair-cut and dyed my beard (to get rid of the grey and make it all one colour). Have been told 6 times today (yes I counted) that I looked really good and asked if I had lost weight. Wish that was how I felt....

[SLAP] Right getting a move on and going home.....

So why so tired - well popped for a quick drink with sneerpout and David (who should be on LJ but isn't) and after a few little pints went home (rest of story on puppies daft_bitch's LJ).

Therefore overslept this morning and zoomed into work (only slighty late - don't think anyone noticed!).

Been reasonably busy but have faffed on LJ and have set up my icq and started putting my friends contacts onto Trillian - quite fun but not very work orientated. Quick gossip with lproven. Couple of fags and went make up shopping with one of the girls from work - she is going through the same cancer I had so I am encouraging her.

Now it's late and I am trying to prepare some work for my lovely assistant when she comes in at some stupid hour in the morning (9:00) so that my the time I crawl in she has not sat and had nothing to do for an hour - Mental note: No point setting the alarm for 7:05 if you don't get out of bed until 8:50 and then panic. I will be up early tomorrow.

Must finish what I am doing and get on as I think the lovely flickgc is doing dinner for us and I don't want to be late.