F16’s Don’t Kill People, 500 Lb. Bombs Kill People

Parents are calling the BBC to complain over a disabled woman hosting a children’s television programme. Honest to God, I couldn’t make this up. Parents are upset that it is forcing them to have conversations with their children about disabilities.

Well, isn’t that just too bad for you. I guess you could just take the standard approach and pretend disabled persons simply do not exist, and ignore them whenever possible. Can’t have people being made uneasy by the sight of the disabled, now can we?

Oh, sorry, I meant "The orchestra is intoxicated."

I’m not sure the headline has it quite right calling them human footprints, as Homo erectus is an ancestor-unless that’s changed since I was in school (which is, I suppose possible) or been explained away by a relevant bible passage.

Would you look at the size of those feet? How cool of a find is that? 

Marketing works on boys too.

Anyone shocked? Yeah, I didn’t think so.  

THIS is brilliant. It looks simple to do as well. I have the ugliest blue mini blinds in my bedroom that are about to get…uh…repourposed.

I can’t wait to try this. 

...to put up a picture of the school mascot (a cartoon huskie dog).

I suspect this has more to do with the artist’s political bent than the artwork. Still, sometimes I just want to bang my head against a wall until my brains spill on the floor.

"Art? That’s for them commie pinko libruuuls." 

Go look at THIS wonderful idea for dressing up those awful metal clips. Better yet, can probably be done in under five minutes and only costs you for the glue. I can see making these as gifts, say a package of five Marxist philosophers, or various members of The Fall (you’ll need a lot more than five) or your favourite Canadian Prime Ministers. Oh, the possibilities.

Offer good in Canada only. If you’re Canadian and would like to send me one (hint) I’d love to have it. I have this crazy idea that the kid should learn about Canada and Mexico given the proximity. Insane, I know. Quick-someone pass an English American "USAan only", language policy before we resort to Spanish or French.

 Other Freebies You May Enjoy:

"Being Girl Sample Kit From Tampax"

Free Metamucil! (You need to move quick on this offer! Sorry, couldn’t resist) 

Free Mary Kay Anti Aging Kit- It really works, she’s been dead for years, but no one even noticed because her skin looks so great.

If you can get past the reachy, overwritten site ("It reaches a crescendo in early spring. An overwhelming cacophony of sight and sound. Millions of birds on the wing—including 80 percent of the world’s population of sandhill cranes—in throngs that can darken the sky.)THIS is a nice way to track the arrival of the Sandhill cranes in in Nebraska.

My in-laws went to central Nebraska one year and sat out there in blinds before sunrise freezing their behinds off. My father-in-law just kind of shrugged when I asked him what he thought of the experience, but he’s a pretty easy going sort of person. There’s no way you’d ever get me out there*, but I wouldn’t mind watching it via a "crane-cam" on the computer.  

*"Out there* meaning rural, central Nebraska. OK, so everyone from Minden that wants to send me hate mail, you just go right ahead-but you still wouldn’t get me out there. 

No one was seriously injured, and the adults could have easily broken it up and sent the kids home-but in the new police state, they’re getting charged. I hope they’re being charged as adults so this can follow them forever.

I wonder if kids still stand around on playgrounds chanting "Fight, fight" or if they get charged too?

So there you have it kids, no fighting over girls. Move along now. 

"When I was waiting in a bar, where were you? When I was buying you a drink, where were you? When I was crying at home in bed, where were you?"

A cute little book to keep track of your passwords and logins.

Did I ever tell you about the company I worked at that had signs over monitors that said:

Password is______.

Kind of defeats the purpose. I don’t think Schneier would approve.

I drink instant coffee, regularly. I buy the store brand. I load it full of cream and sugar and swill it down first thing in the morning before brushing my teeth as a way of scouring off the film that appears overnight. Then, I brush my teeth and go about my day drinking tea thereafter. I don’t like coffee, instant or brewed, but I drink it.

Starbucks is introducing instant coffee. I probably won’t buy it as it would be a waste seeing how I only use coffee as a sort of pre-mouthwash/caffeine delivery system. It does not sound terribly promising though. Starbucks really ought to stick to making chocolate bars-those were better than their coffee ever was. I bought a couple dozen of them on a clearence at Hy-Vee for a buck each.

Still, what does that do for the snob-appeal of the brand? Here in Nebraska, people make a point of letting you know they drink Starbucks because they think you’ll be impressed. Pathetic, I know. Sometimes, it is almost painful getting through daily interactions without wincing visibly. Instant coffee is going to be pretty difficult to make sophisticated, though I’m sure they’ll try. When I’m trying to impress people, I let them know I use Massengil Douche-not some Walgreen’s generic vinegar and water salad dressing douche. Maybe if it were made with instant coffee (hey, if it scours the scum off your teeth…). As my mother once noted:

"What’s with all the commercials for douche? If you don’t have dirty things in you, you won’t need a douche."

She could be positively brilliant sometimes.  

So, how long do you think it will take after mentioning Starbucks Coffee in a post before I get a hit from corporate? Leave your guesses in the comments. No, I’m not going to send the winner instant coffee. You’ll get the prize of being correct. That’s reward enough. Bonus points if we get a hit from Walgreen’s.

I say 36 hours, tops.

So what say you? And would you buy their instant coffee?  

So kids, if you get upset with your parents, just call the police and they’ll execute a search warrant for mom’s private pot smoking stash. Then, they’ll charge mom with child abuse for getting high in front of a fifteen year old. That’ll show the bitch!

Come on, child abuse? A search warrant? One gram of pot? This is absurd. At least they didn’t send the SWAT team.

Turmeric is supposed to have numerous health benefits and here’s another way to work it into your diet if you can’t stomach drinking it as tea. I like this recipe because it is fast and makes a quantity for the next day’s meal. Cooking once and eating twice is always a bonus around here. It is also economical, provided you buy the lentils at an ethnic grocery, not Whole Foods. I get a reasonably good price on coconut milk, but in a pinch you can take a cup of dried coconut and rehydrate it with a cup of water and then whirr it in the blender. Strain it and you have coconut milk-sort of. It will work OK.

A word about ghee: it is only clarified butter, and is incredibly easy to make. I will provide the details for that as well, but my advice is to wait until butter goes on sale (unless you make your own butter) and make a large batch of it at once. It keeps practically forever in a jar in the fridge and is really handy for everything from pastry to croutons that don’t taste greasy.  

I served it over Matar Pullao which is a spiced rice dish with peas and raisins. The recipe will follow the curry. 

You Will Need:

1 cup red lentils, rinsed very well

2 cups vegetable stock (I used cubes)

1/2 teaspoon turmeric

1 2/3 ounces melted ghee

1 onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, finely minced

1 large green chili, seeded and minced

2 teaspoons ground cumin

2 teaspoons ground coriander

2 tomatoes, seeded and chopped (I used tinned)

1/2 cup coconut milk

Place lentils, stock and turmeric in a large stock pot and bring to the boil. Cover, reduce heat to simmer and cook ten minutes.

While the lentils cook, fry the onion over medium heat in the ghee. Cook until onions are brown and soft. Add garlic, cumin, and coriander. Cook a few more minutes until mixed. Stir the onions and spices into the lentils and add the tomato. Simmer over very low heat for five minutes. Adjust salt and pepper to taste and stir in coconut milk. Stir to re-warm and serve hot over rice or with flatbreads.

To Make Ghee (clarified butter):

(Use unsalted butter) 

In a saucepan over very low heat, let butter melt without stirring. The foam it throws off is what you do not want. Set a fine sieve over a measuring cup. Line the sieve with a few layers of cheesecloth or coffee filters. When the butter is melted, remove from heat and carefully skim off as much of the foam as you can. Be careful not to disturb the solids that have sunk to the bottom. Carefully pour the melted butter through the lined sieve trying to leave the solids behind. It isn’t a big deal if you don’t-the cheesecloth should catch it and you can always filter it again. Pour into a clean jar. Cool, then seal and store in the fridge. That’s it.

For The Matar Pullao:

(this can be made ahead and kept warm in a covered casserole dish in the oven. About 200 degrees ought to do it).

4 tablespoons cooking oil

1 teaspoon cumin seeds

1/8 teaspoon ground cloves

1 stick cinnamon

2 tablespoons raisins (you can double that if you like-I always do)

1 medium onion, chopped

1/2 cup green peas (I cook frozen peas just until they come to a boil, refresh them under cold water and drain)

2 cups long grain rice (I used Basmatti tonight because I had it, but any rice will do)

4 1/2 cups water

 In a large bowl, soak the rice in enough water to cover for twenty minutes. Rinse well and drain.

In a large heavy pot, heat the oil over medium heat and add cumin seeds, cloves, cinnamon and raisins. Fry for a couple minutes until the raisins begin to plump. Add sliced onion and cook a couple minutes more.

Add the peas, drained rice, and salt to taste. Cook until the onions are soft.  Then, add the water and bring it all to a boil. Reduce heat to simmer, cover and cook until liquid is absorbed-about twenty minutes. Keep hot until ready to serve.

I’ve always made my own, and really other than time it isn’t much effort. My only regret is that I am unable to drink as much of it as I would like.

THIS blog is for people who really love their Limoncello-but makes interesting reading even if you don’t.  

I love this idea. A sewing group that uses vintage patterns and/or fabrics to create new clothing. As people who know me will attest, I *kind of* like vintage rayon from the 30’s and 40’s. Kind of. Kind of in the hundreds. I used to be an antique dealer and would end up with these things from yard sales and auctions as part of larger lots of fabric, etc.. At the time, no one wanted vintage clothing, so I brought them home. Then, I just got carried away. Kind of.

I never thought about re-styling the fabrics. I have some pieces that are no longer wearable as-is that I haven’t been able to bear with tossing. It might be time to re-think some of the frocks at the back of the cupboard.  

Seven year old throws tantrum at school. Police have him admitted to psych unit against wishes of parents.

This kid’s life is pretty much ruined. Once he has been branded a mental case by the state, it will follow him for the rest of his life. Nicely done, Florida.  

THIS certainly sounds like the school district is trying to run a woman out because she suffers from allergies. She’s taught at the school for thirteen years, but now needs a mask to filter allergens in the air. Suddenly, the school has a problem with her ability to teach. Anyone care to call bullshit? I wonder what the starting salary for teachers in that district is.

Lord knows, they don’t want experienced math teachers.  

Too Early To Get Excited About Premature Ejaculation Drug.