Gassing the Hippies

Class terrorists are besieging one of our nations most holy shrines, Wall Street. As one would expect, they're a bunch of immoral, dirty hippies. At least that's how the New York Times' Ginia Bellafante describes one of their "default ambassadors" as "a half-naked woman" with a "marked likeness to Joni Mitchell and a seemingly even stronger wish to burrow through the space-time continuum and hunker down in 1968.

Even socialistotimidcentristislamunistofascist bloggers like Oliver Willis are condemning the protesters' sartorial style: "You Want to Change the World? Dress with Some Fucking Dignity."

Still some argue that people like Bellafante and Willis are misrepresenting the crowds character by cherrypicking individuals rather than looking at the group as a whole. Well, I have photos that prove the crowd is as bad as any dirty hippy nightmare Curtis LeMay ever dreamed up (first four photos: David Shankbone (cc).)


Dirty


Fucking


Hippy


Freaks



Wait. That last one is a pic of shoppers in Seattle. Well, it's basically the same thing.

Thankfully, veteran hippy beater Deputy Inspector Anthony Bologna and the NYPD are fighting back, torturing these vile dissenters by shooting pepper spray directly into their eyes.

One of the hippies tells her story:

A new group of police officers arrives in white shirts, as opposed to dark blue. These guys are completely undiscerning in their aggression...

The white-shirted cops are shouting at us to get off the street as they corral us onto the sidewalk. One African American man gets on the curb but refuses to be pushed up against the wall of the building; they throw him into the street, and five cops tackle him. As he’s being cuffed, a white kid with a video camera asks him “What’s your name?! What’s your name?!” One of the blue-shirted cops thinks he’s too close and gives him a little shove. A white-shirt sees this, grabs the kid and without hesitation billy-clubs him in the stomach.

At this point, the crowd of twenty or so caught in the orange fence is shouting “Shame! Shame! Who are you protecting?! YOU are the 99 percent! You’re fighting your own people!” A white-shirt, now known to be NYPD Deputy Inspector Anthony Bologna, comes from the left, walks straight up to the three young girls at the front of the crowd, and pepper-sprays them in the face for a few seconds, continuing as they scream “No! Why are you doing that?!” The rest of us in the crowd turn away from the spray, but it’s unavoidable. My left eye burns and goes blind and tears start streaming down my face.

[...]

One of the blue-shirts, tall and bald, stares in disbelief and says, “I can’t believe he just fuckin’ maced her.” And it becomes clear that the white-shirts are a different species. We need to get out of there.

But is the NYPD doing enough. In the old days (1997), police would use Q-Tips to apply the pepper irritant directly to the hippy's eyes, thus maximizing the pain as efficiently as possible.

You'd think after eight years under Lord Cheney, the police would have improved their torture technique, but then I guess you'd expect a little skill deterioration with the OBAMUNIST USURPER running the country.

Elsewhere: More Occupy Wall Street videos and photos.

Jews Conspiring to Steal Our Foreskins

Mrs Pastor Seven L Anderson writes:

Historically, circumcising all males in America became common during World War II, when mostly Jewish doctors stayed behind from the war and advocated for it. In Europe, this is not common practice. The American trend toward circumcision was further fueled by a fascination for Judaism and Zionism, both of which are contrary to true Bible doctrine. The Jewish religion teaches works salvation just like ever other false religion, and I have no desire to emulate their customs any more than those of Catholics, Muslims, or other false teachers.

Big Guvmint Squashes Another Patriot

Most days, Kyle Richards is just another sovereign citizen of Kylesonia. He's just a regular guy, trying to defend the personal space surrounding the national borders of his own skin. Unfortunately, the OBAMUNIST USURPER's big government goons won't allow his single-occupant-country to be a peaceful actor in the community of nations.

First, they denied Kylesonia the God-given right to receive "Pony Tail," "Black Sheep, White Shepherds," and "Big Honking Udders: The Magazine For The Sovereign Man" at his cell in the Macomb County Jail.

Now, they're considering moving him to a prison against his will. Ignoring Citizen Kyle's pleas that he's too dangerous to go to prison and that prison will force the convicted bank robber to pursue "violent forms of dissension," Judge David Swartz is likely to send him to the Big House next month.

Elsewhere: Big government hounds a true American teatriot for having a non-state-sanctioned intimate relationship with his 13-year-old stepdaughter.

Making Men

It ain't easy raising a boy into manhood these days. Femislamunistofascism permeates our culture. Our boys are brought up to play soccer, to express themselves verbally, to resist bullying the weak and different, and to worship the foo foo Jesus of the Beatitudes.

Thankfully, English fathers are bringing traditional boy-raising techniques back. They're locking eight-year-old boys into a cage and making them fight each other, bare handed and without padding. Yes that's right, their making men out of their boys by entering them into bare-knuckled cage fighting matches.

And it's not just about the beatings. The cage fights are held in pubs, where the fathers can model proper manly behavior by drunkenly cheering each cut eye and bloodied nose.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the OBAMUNIST USURPER'S America is getting it's butt kicked in the battle to raise boys into men, but it stings nonetheless.

We, not furriners, should be leading the way. We are the nation that raised Dick Cheney and Rick Perry. We're the nation that cheers for the death of the uninsured and boos homosexualist combat vets. We're the nation that values execution over life, and torture over justice. We should be the ones bringing our boys into manhood by locking them into cages and cheering as they beat each other to a pulp.

We shouldn't put on our Patrick Henry colonial costumes until that day happens. We don't deserve to wear tri-cornered hats and fancy short britches if we don't demand that our boys beat the tar out of each other.

Department of Book Reports: Banned Books Week

Image via ABFFE

For the past thirty years, the last week of September has been Banned Books Week, a celebration of the Freedom to Read and the First Amendment, and this year is sponsored by the American Library Association, the American Booksellers Association, American Booksellers Foundation for Free Experession, the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund, the PEN American Center, among others. Libraries and bookstores across our great land will have displays of the many books that have, at one time or another, been suppressed in some fashion.

What are some of these tomes? Some examples:

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee has been challenged many times, including in 1980 by the Vernon Verona Sherill New York School District as a "filthy, trashy novel". I've read it a few times, and I guess I missed that part.

Alice Walker's The Color Purple has also been challenged and banned. The Souderton PA School District banned it as "smut" in 1992 as inappropriate 10th grade reading.

Ulysses by James Joyce was banned from the United States, England and Ireland for obscenity during the 1920's and not because it was deemed "too long".

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov was banned as obsecne in France from 1956-1959, England in 1959, and Argentina that same year. Florida's Marion County had its DA office look into the book for ideas of incest and pedophilia.

Even winning Nobel Prize in literature does not keep a writer from censorial minds. Toni Morrison's Beloved has also been challenged many times. In 2007 two parents objected to the use of the book in an AP high school English class because it addressed issues of bestiality, racism and sex. The Principal of the school ordered it replaced by Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter, which, of course, has nothing to do with sex. Other Nobel Prize winners whose books have been banned include John Steinbeck (both The Grapes of Wrath and Of Mice and Men); Ernest Hemingway (For Whom the Bell Tolls...did the Earth move for you, too?); William Faulkner (As I Lay Dying); and F. Scott Fitzgerald (The Great Gatsby).

This past Monday the School Board of Monarch, Kansas voted to end the ban in the school library of Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse Five. Kind of. The kids cant really check it out, but it is available in certain portion there for their parents to check it out for them. The Vonnegut Library has made an offer to help kids decide for themselves.

These obscene books are available from Jackson Street Books and other fine independent bookstores.

What are your favorite banned books?

Ben & Jerry's Allowing Hinduian Furriners to Name their Products

Monica Cole
Director
One Million Moms
American Family Association

Dear Mrs Cole,

It took me awhile to figure out why you were boycotting Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream for naming a product "Schweddy Balls." I ran the name through my head for hours, manically repeating the words, "Schweddy Balls," over and over like an unholy mantra.

I gently clutched a pair of the Schweddy Balls as I chanted their name, stopping only to occasionally lick their Schweddy perspiration as they gained warmth in my cupped hand. Still, I saw nothing but delightfully tempting chocolate balls.

But yesterday, I called your parent organization, the American Family Association, to buy Jerry Ball's sacred saxophone music CD from their store. I had a hard time understanding the guy who helped me on the phone--he sounded like an Oregonian. I compensated by speaking louder and louder. He did the same, until he finally said, "You want Jerry Ball," but it sounded like he said "Lick my schweddy balls."

That's when it struck me that he wasn't from Oregon after all. Schweddy sounds kind of foreign; he was one of those customer service reps from India. Now, I understand why you're boycotting Ben & Jerry's. They're allowing foreigners--or even worse unJesused Hinduians--to name their ice cream. That's about as un-American an act as buying a John Coltrane album.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who was confused by your boycott. You should issue another alert to clarify that you're boycotting Ben & Jerry's because they're letting Hinduians name their products.

Heterosexually yours in a chaste, biblically appropriate, and schweddy balls hating kind of way,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

The Pervert Behind the Stirrups

Pastor Anderson offers advice on choosing an OBY/GYN:

In the Bible, the only nakedness allowable between a man and a woman is between husband and wife. Genesis 2:25 reads, “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” Within the confines of marriage nakedness is totally permissible. However, in Leviticus 18, God goes into great detail condemning nakedness between brother and sister, father and daughter, mother and son, aunt and nephew, uncle and niece, grandfather and granddaughter, and the list goes on and on.

[...]

Given that nudity before a person of the opposite gender is a sin, why is it a commonly accepted practice among Baptists and others for a woman to be naked and examined by a male doctor? This most disgusting practice is totally unfounded in God’s word. OB/GYN's (doctors of pregnancy and women's health) are considered somehow immune from the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes. If God is so against nudity between members of the opposite gender, why would he allow a man called a doctor to examine a woman’s naked body throughout her pregnancy and up to the birth as if he were somehow immune from sin or God’s laws?

[...]

Independent, fundamental Baptist preachers stand up in pulpits across America and breathe fire about mixed swimming, immodest clothing, nudity on television, dancing, mini-skirts, etc., as they should, but why don’t they have the morals or courage to condemn this practice which is more revealing and more wicked than any of the others mentioned?!

[...]

Because of years and years of looking at and touching scores of women inappropriately, the male gynecologist no doubt has a seared conscience and a perverted mind (I will not go into detail of what goes on in the doctor’s office for decency’s sake, but any woman who has been there knows what I am referring to.). His view of women and the marital bed has certainly been warped by his indecent involvement with countless women.

May God help preachers in this generation to make the Bible their authority, not tradition, and call this ungodly practice what it really is – sin. Any doctor that looks upon and touches a woman’s private parts in his office “hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Sir, if you let your wife go to a male gynecologist, you need to get right with God.

A New Front in the War to Seize the Uterus

Rep. Wayne Christian
Texas House of Representatives

Dear Rep. Christian,

In these times when wickedness ravages our nation like Queen Esther's consort assaulting a peephole, I rejoice when I hear a politician speak out for righteousness. It fills me with such great joy, I lose control of my praise arm. It involuntarily snaps up toward the heavens at a perfect 45 degree angle--palm, forearm, and shoulder rigidly aligned in a salute to the one true moral order.

I know I should be thankful that Jesus gave me this joyous praise arm reflex, but sometimes, it breaks things. Last night, it destroyed my computer monitor. You're partially to blame for that. You triggered it with these words:

Well of course this is a war on birth control and abortions and everything, that’s what family planning is supposed to be about.

I'm not angry with you. A computer monitor is a small price to pay in order to witness a politician finally speaking the truth about Our Glorious Struggle to Seize the Uterus--it's not simply about abortions; it's also about contraception.

But I'm afraid you're not fighting this war properly. Going after contraceptive providers isn't enough. What about those wicked not-men who demand that their partners complete the act outside of their womb tunnel? What are you going to do with them?

I think I can help. I've developed a bungee-based device that when strapped to a couple, limits the amplitude of a man's secret parts. Put simply, the device stops a mans hips from moving more than and inch and a half, just short of the 1.75 inch distance a normal man requires in order to disengage his little soldier from a not-man's woo woo thing.

All I need from you is as law requiring its use during sex. Texas can lead the way on this. Once you do it, the rest of the states (OK, well, Oklahoma) will surely follow.

I'd be glad to demonstrate it for the proper committee if you could find a not-man willing to do it with me.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

p.s. Are we cousins? If so, do you have a sister?