Indonesian sex therapist starts new podcast to tackle myths about sex

Zoya Amirin
Photo via AP.

This is great. Today Zoya Amirin, the only woman certified as a sex therapist in Indonesia, is launching a weekly podcast, called “In Bed with Zoya,” to debunk common myths about sex and contraception.

“People here really believe in myths … that’s my biggest challenge,” said Amirin, adding she wants to make her show as cool as possible so people will tune in without feeling they’re being talked down to.

“It’s time to embrace our sexuality in a healthy way,” she said, “and to be mature in our understanding.”

Nearly 40% of Indonesian teenagers have had sex and almost half of them do not use contraception with new partners. And while the folklore about gecko saliva curing AIDS may be unique to Indonesia, the lack of accurate information about sex and contraception definitely isn’t.

According to a new study released earlier this week for World Contraception Day, myths about safe sex abound among young people around the world. The survey, conducted by Bayer Healthcare Pharmaceuticals and supported by various international NGOs, questioned more than 6,000 young people from 26 countries. It found a rise in unprotected sex in several countries, including the U.S., France, and Britain.

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Local clerk in New York refuses to sign gay marriage licenses

I have so little patience for this bullshit.

After New York legalized same-sex marriage last June, some local clerks resigned rather than have to sign marriage licenses for gay couples. But in Ledyard, a rural upstate town, the town clerk Rose Marie Belforti avoids committing that terrible sin by having her deputy sign all marriage licenses instead. She explains, “God doesn’t want me to do this, so I can’t do what God doesn’t want me to do.”

Now a lesbian couple who didn’t want to reschedule with her deputy (you know, since they already waited for a decade to be able to get legally hitched) is considering filing a lawsuit. If they do, the case could test “how the state balances a religious freedom claim by a local official against a civil rights claim by a same-sex couple.”

The New York Times reports:

Ms. Belforti, represented by a Christian legal advocacy group based in Arizona, the Alliance Defense Fund, is arguing that state law requires New York to accommodate her religious beliefs.

“New York law protects my right to hold both my job and my beliefs,” she said in an interview last week, pausing briefly to collect $50 from a resident planning to take 20 loads of refuse to the town dump. “I’m not supposed to have to leave my beliefs at the door at my government job.”

That’s ridiculous. Read More »

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Roman Polanski admits the girl he raped was his “victim”

Roman Polanski Nearly 35 years after the fact, Roman Polanski, finally concedes that drugging and raping a 13-year old girl was a mistake.

In a new documentary, Roman Polanski: A Film Memoir, that premiered at the Zurich Film Festival this week, the award-winning director and bail-jumping fugitive apologized to Samantha Greimer, the woman he raped back in 1977: “She is a double victim: My victim, and a victim of the press.”

Ok, sure. Definitely true that Greimer was a victim of the press–as every woman who accuses a powerful man of rape is. In fact, she was so traumatized by the media attention that hounded her once she pressed charges against Polanski that she eventually just wanted the whole thing to go away. When Polanski was arrested in Switzerland two years ago, she said she was relieved that he ultimately wasn’t extradited back the U.S.

But I’m with Gabe: Leave the media out of it, dude. The nightmare she experienced in the court system and media circus started with you. You and your actions. And as your first public apology in decades–after fleeing the country before sentencing to avoid justice, claiming the charges were trumped up because “everyone wants to fuck young girls,” and generally acting as though somehow you’re the real victim here–it should be, well, a lot better.

Image credit: Reuters

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What We Missed

Lisa Wade of Sociological Images drops some serious knowledge (like, backed up with research and statistics everything) about hook up culture on college campuses.

At The Grio, our Zerlina asks if the youngest person ever executed in America was innocent.

Women rock: Joan Jett, Heart and Chaka Khan have all been nominated for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

A former US Olympic gymnastics coach has been accused of molesting his female athletes.

At Salon, Rebecca Traister interviews the producer of Bridesmaids about how that movie has created opportunities for women in Hollywood, particularly in comedy.

House Republicans want to know exactly how Planned Parenthood keeps its abortion funds separate from the funds for all the rest of its totally normal and entirely legal women’s healthcare.

In 35 states, no mention of the Civil Rights movement is required in public school syllabi.

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L’Shana Tova/Happy New Year

Something that many people don’t know just by looking at me is that I am Jewish. Although I am no longer a practicing Jew and don’t currently identify heavily with any organized religion, I was raised in a conservative synagogue and Bat Mitzvah’d as a teen. Being a Jew of color has been for me a very complicated and interesting thing. Recently, after much thought and internal debate, I  signed up for a birthright trip to Israel, and I’m headed there for the first time ever in the Spring. But my thoughts on that are best saved for another time!

This is a post to wish all our Jewish readers, and even the non-Jewish ones, a very happy Rosh Hashanah ( Jewish New Year)!! Even though I am no longer practicing, I still sometimes join some members of my family for a Rosh Hashanah dinner, blowing of the shofar, and of course apples and honey.

Not that I would miss an occasion to bring in a feminist analysis! As this article points out, all holidays, this holiday included, can sometimes be “a test of femininity” for women in their household:

“The holiday, says Dr. Miri Rozmarin, a lecturer in philosophy and gender studies at Tel Aviv University, is perceived as a test of women. “The woman’s connection to the private space and to the family is rarely cracked, even when she is more involved in the public space. It’s still considered the essence of femininity and the holiday is the height of it all. So even someone who can afford to pay another woman to cook and clean for her during the week will, when it comes to the moment of truth (on the holidays ), do the cooking herself in order to ‘show that she is also a woman.’ And here the men’s masculinity is also evaluated: Are they free from the obligation of having to cook? Does the boss loosen his pants and sit down?”

This dynamic requires reassigning gender roles in the family, continues Rozmarin.”

I think there are some interesting points there. But for now, I’m more interested in celebrating a new year and a new beginning than focusing on the complicated gender dynamics at play. Please enjoy the video below, which appeared in my Facebook news feed this morning courtesy of Jill Filipovic and Jaclyn Friedman.  Happy new year/L’shana tova!!

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