Shorter Kathleen Parker:

By her passive aggressive twitter-twatting of mean things about Mitt Romney, Callista “Not Flockhart” Gingrich has opened herself up to speculation that she is less Laura Bush and more Hillary Clinton … if Hillary Clinton were a helmet-haired home-wrecking whore with a Tiffany monkey on her back.

Scenes from an abused billionaires support group:

Jamie Dimon, the highest-paid chief executive officer among the heads of the six biggest U.S. banks, turned a question at an investors’ conference in New York this month into an occasion to defend wealth.

“Acting like everyone who’s been successful is bad and because you’re rich you’re bad, I don’t understand it,” the JPMorgan Chase & Co. (JPM) CEO told an audience member who asked about hostility toward bankers. “Sometimes there’s a bad apple, yet we denigrate the whole.”

Dimon, 55, whose 2010 compensation was $23 million, joined billionaires including hedge-fund manager John Paulson and Home Depot Inc. (HD) co-founder Bernard Marcus in using speeches, open letters and television appearances to defend themselves and the richest 1 percent of the population targeted by Occupy Wall Street demonstrators.

If successful businesspeople don’t go public to share their stories and talk about their troubles, “they deserve what they’re going to get,” said Marcus, 82, a founding member of Job Creators Alliance, a Dallas-based nonprofit that develops talking points and op-ed pieces aimed at “shaping the national agenda,” according to the group’s website. He said he isn’t worried that speaking out might make him a target of protesters.

“Who gives a crap about some imbecile?” Marcus said. “Are you kidding me?”

[...]

Neither term appeared in a Nov. 28 open letter to President Barack Obama from hedge-fund manager Leon Cooperman, the Omega Advisors Inc. chairman and former CEO of Goldman Sachs Group Inc. (GS)’s money-management unit. Capitalists “are not the scourge that they are too often made out to be” and the wealthy aren’t “a monolithic, selfish and unfeeling lot,” Cooperman wrote. They make products that “fill store shelves at Christmas” and provide health care to millions.

Cooperman, 68, said in an interview that he can’t walk through the dining room of St. Andrews Country Club in Boca Raton, Florida, without being thanked for speaking up. At least four people expressed their gratitude on Dec. 5 while he was eating an egg-white omelet, he said.

I think mentioning the “egg-white omelet” was a nice touch. It added a very human element that even an imbecile could recognize.

In honor of the Late Great Jon Swift, Batocchio at Vagabond Scholar is once again picking up where Jon left off and asking bloggers to submit a link to what they believe was their best post of the year. Since I don’t read me because I find myself to be profane and unfair and juvenile and jejune with slight undertones of oak  and cruelty , I thought I’d let you guys make suggestions in the comments since you probably spend most of your time reading blogs while at work anyway and, besides, it’s not like anything is getting done this week  what with Christmas coming up, so you might as well spend your time doing this instead with the added bonus of providing yourself with a great feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day as opposed to the usual going home in the evening and drinking yourself unconscious in a futile attempt to escape spiraling downward into a deep pit of despair  over how all the decisions you have made up until this point have  led you to this sad and desolate place where all of your dreams and hopes lie in tatters at your feet. Darkness. Nothingness.  Why go on…

Besides, it will be fun. And fun is good.