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A competition! - Books
A while back (quite a while back, if I’m being honest!) I received a review copy of Norman’s Folly by Clare Norman.
I put the book on www.BooksAboutFrance.com and promptly completely forgot to mention it here.
Thus, a free copy of Norman’s Folly by Clare Norman is available to whoever wins today’s cunning creative competition!
All you have to do is write a simple limerick that sums up one aspect of expat life in France.
It can be funny, it can be sad, it doesn’t even have to mention Citroen 2CVs!
The entries should be posted as as comments on this post and the deadline is midnight Tuesday the 22nd of February!
May the best limerick writer win!
|
‘Norman’s Folly’ outlines a process that many of us may have thought about engaging with: a lifestyle change in a new country.
Having questioned their daily routine in the UK and found it wanting, the Norman family made the brave decision to relocate to France. Actually, the decision was pretty much made for them when they were shown what is now their rural home and took a gut reaction to ‘go for it’. As author Clare Norman explains, the route they chose wasn’t always smooth (literally, in some cases, with regards the road that leads to their property). And things didn’t happen as fast as they would have liked them too. But along the way they met a number of delightful French characters who add charm and warmth to this warts-and-all tale of change, development and growth. |
It’s some time, now, since the germ of the idea of moving to France. But Clare and her family have embraced village life, integrated with the locals and created for themselves the idyll they desired.
This is an honest account of the pain as much as the pleasures of such a move and the sheer hard work it entails, along with the delightful idiosyncrasies of the neighbourhood and its inhabitants around the Norman’s new home.
For more information, or if you wish to purchase…
All the best
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By Marilyn, February 16, 2011 @ 1:14 pm
My mind’s on blank …
By Diane, February 16, 2011 @ 1:54 pm
I am useless at limericks!!! Diane
By Franco Phil !, February 16, 2011 @ 2:29 pm
If you’re thinking of living in France
Don’t leave it to Gallic ‘Bon Chance”
On all those demands for tax
write “I’m english” and send them all back
That’ll lead them a merry dance !
By tommo, February 16, 2011 @ 3:12 pm
There once was a man from the Loire
Who asked “what’s the world’s fastest car?”
Said those in the know
A blue deux-chevaux
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
By Emma Jamieson, February 16, 2011 @ 4:09 pm
There once was a cad in Alsace
Who dreamt he was Alain Ducasse
But he burnt his choucroute
and he frazzled his tourte
and his flammekuche tasted crass.
By Jacqui, February 16, 2011 @ 9:22 pm
There once was a family who set off for France
To the land where wine flowed and the people did dance
But the French ate funny things;
Frogs, snails and cow intestines
Oh! Just fill up your glass and give it a chance
By Adrian, February 16, 2011 @ 9:40 pm
There was a young couple who lived in a trance
Dreaming and scheming of living in France
They packed a bag full of tea
Jumped in their blue 2CV
And set off to give it a chance!
By Katie Mac, February 17, 2011 @ 2:06 pm
French eating times made her aggrieved
her stomach was always quite peeved
but at half past seven
until nine – it was heaven!
She ate like an expat, relieved!
By Roz, February 17, 2011 @ 3:21 pm
There once was a family in Brum
Thought it would be rather good fun
To pack up the car
and see how far
they needed to travel to find more of the sun.
(still looking though)
By Roz, February 17, 2011 @ 3:28 pm
Te competition said see if you can
See if you can get it to scan
Write a limerick about France
But mine will be pants
Because I always try to get as many words in the last line as I possibly can
By Katie Mac, February 17, 2011 @ 10:31 pm
The verbs remain unconjugated
the grammar is so complicated
Would you have a clue
if you say tu or vous?
Me neither, I’m very frustrated!
By Paul, February 18, 2011 @ 6:34 pm
Its seems easy says Rosalyn to Paul
Write a limerick about our life in Gaul
Its not worth the bother
to win the prizes and awards on offer
When Piglet in France wins them all.
By Keith Eckstein, February 18, 2011 @ 6:49 pm
No Paul
Piglet doesn’t win all the prizes!
The only prizes she seems to win every week are those for not buying a lap-dancing emporium and for not ranting enough!
I do like your entry though!
Although I should say that the slight lack of reference to blue Citroen 2CVs might be a negative influence to some of the judges!
All the best
Keith
P.S. As a neighbour, I suppose that you have special access to the judges (who are, I have to say, usually to be found drinking wine at the little bar in Cournon at 8am every morning.)
Now, there’s an opportunity for you! For the cost of a gallon or two of rot gut (Vieux Papes – have you ever tried drinking that stuff?) you could be assured of winning every prize for months!
P.P.S. Lay off Piglet – she’s about to give birth to a baby Piglet and she’s in bed feeling sorry for herself.
P.P.P.S. Thanks for putting the chickies to bed last Saturday – they were quite impressed! Although they did mention that you didn’t sing them a goodnight song? Shame on you!
By Paul, February 18, 2011 @ 7:24 pm
Keef says write about an old froggie car
the type seen out side a French bar
the 2 cv is quiet cool
the tool box contains just one tool
but will carry four nuns very far.
By Paul, February 18, 2011 @ 7:31 pm
Do nuns where lingerie? I dont know
But I know a place where you can find out though
to find an old 2CV
drop down onto one knee
and look up there habits as they go.
By Paul, February 18, 2011 @ 7:38 pm
I think keef thinks Ive said enough
Cause piglet is well up the duff
try a 2Cv for romance
then there wont be a chance
Cause sex in the car will be tuff
By Paul, February 18, 2011 @ 7:43 pm
The book is coming to me
theres no one else I can see
who write like this
really take the piss
and think keef! The postage is free
By Paul, February 18, 2011 @ 7:48 pm
Tum te tum tum, tum tum
tum diddly dee dee dum dum
tum te te, te te
tum te te de de
tum tum tum ti tum bum bum
By Paul, February 18, 2011 @ 7:48 pm
Bottle empty, going for another
By Paul, February 18, 2011 @ 8:01 pm
Vieux Papes thats really posh
I’m glad you got the dosh
the stuff that I drink
really does stink
but it sure helps clean out the fosse
By Jacqui, February 18, 2011 @ 8:23 pm
Oh Paul I think you should win
I laughed so much I made quite a din
From my blue 2CV
Here’s a vote from me
If you loose it would be such a sin
By Keith Eckstein, February 18, 2011 @ 8:41 pm
I do have to say that if my fellow judges (all the old boys down the local bar) and I were judging this competition on frequency of applications then surely, Mr Chapman would be the winner….
However, we (the judging committee) are also interested in alliteration, jointed couplets, narration, metaphor and onomatopoeia…
Not to ignore iambic or anapestic meters…
And would I not be remiss not to mention assonance and caesura as vital parts of a winning entry?
So, I suggest that the entries still continue entering until someone wins or….
Someone bribes the judging committee sufficiently well to make them forget their official duties?
All the best
Keith
By Paul, February 18, 2011 @ 8:46 pm
alliteration, jointed couplets,metaphor and onomatopoeia
Are not really words with which I’m Familia
I just drink the wine
Make up a rhyme
and ignore words like assonance and caesura
By Paul, February 18, 2011 @ 8:48 pm
I wonder if a book sent to me
that’s covered in stains from the tea
hidden under the bed
the pages well read
even if I get it for free
By Paul, February 18, 2011 @ 9:00 pm
Yet another bottle gone
down to the last one
I really should stop
have a day off the pop
or start buying wine by the ton
By Paul, February 18, 2011 @ 9:06 pm
C.I.S is on the TV
so this is goodnight from me
Ive had my fun
but think I’m all done
but tomorrow, well we will see
By Katie Mac, February 19, 2011 @ 12:31 pm
Write a Limerick ’bout France, did you say?
why no problem, I write every day
sometimes I do blog
’bout my life with a Frog,
all while drinking my favourite thé!
By Katie Mac, February 19, 2011 @ 12:54 pm
There’s a town in the Pays de la Loire
selling chips every Vendredi soir,
wrapped up in news paper
with fish – what a caper!
and for afters, you’re served with a Poire!
By Paul, February 19, 2011 @ 1:37 pm
Katies had a good go I admit
I looked at and liked what she writ
but theres no attraction
2CV or nun action
So win the prize? I would doubt it.
By Katie Mac, February 19, 2011 @ 7:08 pm
To mention the car is a choice
that’s open to each Limerick voice,
but there’s lots more in France
than a Citroen perchance,
but you like what I write, so that’s noice!
By Paul, February 19, 2011 @ 11:50 pm
Keef has a fetish, just like most
and that is the point of my post
to keep the judge sweet
theres a criteria to meet
fail that and the book you have lost
By Paul, February 20, 2011 @ 8:24 am
This comp has two days to run
and I am certainly not done
with more limericks to write
it looks like I might
be having a whole lot more fun
By Sarah Hague, February 20, 2011 @ 9:03 am
Some houses for sale in La France
Come sometimes with pole for a dance
You jump on the bar
Swing ‘n’ sway, oh la la!
While the guys all around tentent leur chance!
By Sarah Hague, February 20, 2011 @ 9:07 am
In France you wear lingerie, not
Bra and knickers all covered in snot.
They have to be pricey
Any less and it’s dicey
To pole-dance and not get too hot.
By Sarah Hague, February 20, 2011 @ 9:10 am
In Cap d’Agde you take off your clothes
To a Brit this means ‘take hold of your nose’.
The French don’t wash much
And you don’t want to touch
Grubby bodies where bugs grow in rows.
(jk)
By Sarah Hague, February 20, 2011 @ 9:18 am
Montpellier’s a town near the sea
Where you go for some sun and a spree
Cap d’Agde is not far
You can get there by car
And see swingers barely clad above knee.
By PigletinFrance, February 20, 2011 @ 10:09 am
LOL! Have just read these, they’re so so funny! I love Sarah’s one with la pole dance and the guys who tentent leur chance! Genial!
Still on bedrest here so life is boorrrrriinnnnggggg and lots of people are being nice to me so nothing to rant about! Move out and in with the inlaws in two days!!
Take care!
By Paul, February 20, 2011 @ 10:34 am
In Sarah it seems I have a rival
her arrival was more of a sidle
sneaked in near the end
her limericks well penned
Its now a run in, up to the final
By Sarah Hague, February 20, 2011 @ 10:35 am
Our Piglet’s all two with the world
A wee one in her tum is all curled
She’s off out of Lyon
Leaving lights bright and neon
To a life in the country babe unfurled.
By Wendy Hollands, February 20, 2011 @ 10:37 am
There once was a man who loved blogs,
And garlic more than Dutch clogs.
The interviews started,
The latest prize bartered —
A book about living like frogs.
By Sarah Hague, February 20, 2011 @ 10:38 am
Last line would be better
“To a life in the sticks, babe unfurled.
By Paul, February 20, 2011 @ 10:41 am
I’m driving down now to see Keef
my friends PC is giving him grief
I’ll ask for a repair
and while I am there
Pinch that book, just like a thief.
By Paul, February 20, 2011 @ 10:45 am
Sarah you cant change the last line
when posted that is your rhyme
you must write anew
well certainly in my view
its cheating and that is a crime
By Sarah Hague, February 20, 2011 @ 10:45 am
Life in France is a piece of fruit cake
You must be nuts if you think you can make
A go of it here
Without French or a mere
Smattering of ‘Une bière please Monsieur Jake’.
By Sarah Hague, February 20, 2011 @ 10:48 am
Dear Paul, do you make the rules?
I thought Keef was the one, and his jules
If I want to make edits
I’ll do so with credits
Cos that will make my rhymes more cools.
By Paul, February 20, 2011 @ 10:49 am
Its obvious I’m really not bothered
about this competition not pondered
but a prize up for grabs
I thought I will have stabs
rather than leave the chance squandered
By Paul, February 20, 2011 @ 10:52 am
Sarah you wrote that in a hurry
about your rival you must have a worry
the prize it is mine
cause I wrote over time
not raced in, in all of a flurry
By Sarah Hague, February 20, 2011 @ 10:53 am
French tele is really quite bad
A Sky box is def to be had
Our dear BBC
And fab ITV
Sans them please expect to go mad.
By Sarah Hague, February 20, 2011 @ 10:56 am
Dear Paul, I am not in a hurry
About you I am not in a worry
We all have a chance
When finished we can dance
And drink til we get all kinda fuzzy.
By Paul, February 20, 2011 @ 11:06 am
French English TV which is best?
Well to me I have to confess
I really dont care
the two dont compare
I only watch NCIS
By Paul, February 20, 2011 @ 11:10 am
Sarah I looked at your site
the picture I saw was just right
two boobs I did see
out and quite free
equal the left and the right
By Paul, February 20, 2011 @ 11:48 am
Sarah I looked at your site
and what did I see in full sight
two boobs I did see
out and quite free
equal the left and the right
By Katie Mac, February 20, 2011 @ 11:50 am
The rule of this comp is to rhyme
’bout an aspect of life at the time,
be crude or romantic
carefree or pedantic,
Who wins will have written sublime!
By Sarah Hague, February 20, 2011 @ 12:01 pm
The boobs are to grab one’s attention
Although honest I feel I must mention
I don’t think they’re French
Indeed such a wench
You don’t tend to find at schools events(ion)
By Sarah Hague, February 20, 2011 @ 12:11 pm
French food is often quite yummy
Although restaurants sell that which is slummy
They buy vacuum packs
In the microwave they them zap
You eat badly, then part with your money.
By Katie Mac, February 20, 2011 @ 12:14 pm
To live in La France is not easy
for some – they will feel rather queasy,
With lots of odd foods
in their new neighbourhoods,
not to mention that Voisin who’s sleazy!
By Katie Mac, February 20, 2011 @ 12:23 pm
Would you like to live in a Chateau
making pastries and pies and gateaux?,
or would you rather the treat
of running a Gite,
Or escape in a little bateau?
By Paul, February 20, 2011 @ 6:22 pm
rozinbrittany.blogspot.com
Videos, pictures, history and fun
The highlight of my day?
A kiss from Kenzo I would say
and seeing my sons new house nearly done
By Paul, February 20, 2011 @ 6:35 pm
My last entry
for today
Were having a problem with our duck
The geese he is trying to f@@k
hes really quite small
the geese they are tall
he needs a ladder or at least some help up
By Sarah Hague, February 20, 2011 @ 9:02 pm
Life in France is a funny old thing
At times you feel you could sing
In the sun it is great
But those taxes, your fate
Take the biscuit for spoiling the zing.
By Vivian, February 20, 2011 @ 11:36 pm
Our Paul really is a cool dude
to write limericks he really has stewed,
He does want the book -
liberty he has took
With his ducks and his geese he’s too crude!
By Katie Mac, February 20, 2011 @ 11:43 pm
There will be a winner of this –
presented with book and a kiss,
How wonderf’ly jolly
to win ‘Norman’s Folly’,
To want it is pure avarice! ;p
By Vivian, February 21, 2011 @ 12:01 am
I think this site is moderated
to see my post up i have waited
Understand the delay
Keith must be away
but I really don’t think I’m X-rated
By Katie Mac, February 21, 2011 @ 12:08 am
The thing about France is the wine
and cheese, it’s too easy to dine!
I’ve put on so much weight
since joining my mate,
my diet is well in decline!
By Katie Mac, February 21, 2011 @ 9:29 am
Good morning to all my French friends
I hope that this comp never ends,
To the expats on here
I wish you good cheer!
What good fun to watch all the write trends!
By Sarah Hague, February 21, 2011 @ 9:32 am
Start a business in France, it takes guts
In fact, you should be really be nuts
The French don’t like doers
They tax all but losers
No ifs, no maybes, no buts.
By Sarah Hague, February 21, 2011 @ 9:39 am
A picnic in Feb is quite cool
Not likely in Blighty as a rule
Down south the sun shines
It’s warm, and it’s fine
In a tee-shirt though not in the pool…
By Jacqui, February 21, 2011 @ 11:54 am
I too have a randy male duck
And a goose with whom he tries on his luck
He uses his beak
Gives her neck a good tweak
And climbs on her back for a @@@K
By Jacqui, February 21, 2011 @ 11:55 am
Living the French rural Idyll
Can sometimes be quite a riddle
Do you kiss once or twice
And learn to live with the mice
At least we can till shop in Lidl!
By Katie Mac, February 21, 2011 @ 3:33 pm
Now, I’m at the end of my tether
today with this awful wet weather,
but the thing about showers
is they’re brilliant for flowers,
they bring out the best in Nantes’ heather!
By Katie Mac, February 21, 2011 @ 3:56 pm
Took our visitors in to see Nantes
on the tram they were brought on a jaunt,
We strolled around town
saw the sights of renown,
And walked where the old Ducs do haunt!
By Paul, February 21, 2011 @ 6:24 pm
The prize is mine I can tell
the rest got not one chance in hell
When keefs on a dirty weekend
lock his chickens up on me can depend
and no need to pay postage on the book as well
By Sarah Hague, February 21, 2011 @ 6:25 pm
The wine here is good and it’s cheap
A pleasure to drink and to keep
Rosé in the summer
If there’s none it’s a bummer
Don’t worry though, Carrouf’s got a heap!
By Sarah Hague, February 21, 2011 @ 6:28 pm
It’s wine o’clock, praise be the lord!
I think we are all of accord
Red, white or rosé
With some crisps I will say
It’s something I’ll never be bored!
By Paul, February 21, 2011 @ 6:44 pm
So its a lie that this is a con
no deal has ever been done
but you must see the attraction
a winner that can do collection
not having post and packing added on
By Sarah Hague, February 21, 2011 @ 6:49 pm
Living in France is a doddle
If you’re an employé, and toddle
Off to work each day
With regular pay
And behave as a citizen model.
By Sarah Hague, February 21, 2011 @ 6:53 pm
If you come here with all of your loot
You must be as mad as a coot
Keep some of it back
Or the tax man will hack
Into all of your savings to boot.
By Sarah Hague, February 21, 2011 @ 6:56 pm
I never have visitors here
Why not, I mean, what can they fear?
No room at the inn
So they’d pay for a din
In a local hotel not that near…
(tee hee)
By Sarah Hague, February 21, 2011 @ 7:09 pm
Life in France is not all 2CV
In fact it’s not all about me
The French they exist
Though they might take the piss
Dressed in matching top/bottom lingerie
By Sarah Hague, February 21, 2011 @ 7:13 pm
Right, now I’m off to heat dinner
Beef stew that is surely a winner
I’ll have it with wine
Lots of calories, that’s fine
Don’t care, I’m not out to be thinner.
By Paul, February 21, 2011 @ 7:23 pm
there’s really only 4 in the frame
to take the prize the plaudits and fame
Sarah, Katie Jaqcui and Paul
I think that’s about all
now the winner Keefy must name
By Paul, February 21, 2011 @ 7:31 pm
Post at 7.13 by Sarah was funny
shes giving me a run for my money
Don’t care, I’m not out to be thinner.
could be a possible prize winner
and the thought of a stew made me hungry
By Paul, February 21, 2011 @ 7:38 pm
Theres one person that tried the most
to attract keefs interest in a post
2CV’s, Lingerie and nuns
and all related puns
it was me, but dont like to boast
By Paul, February 21, 2011 @ 8:01 pm
I wonder if Keef would dare
(This comp must be a night mare)
ask us to write a verse
some bad, some even worse
and at the end his decision be fair
By Sarah Hague, February 21, 2011 @ 8:48 pm
I must say it’s all been a laff
We’re all so incredibly naff
Paul, Jacqui and Kate
You’re making good mates
In this race to the ultimate faff
By Sarah Hague, February 21, 2011 @ 8:55 pm
Would you be a nun? I would not
They cannot wear lingerie hot
They’re obliged to be
Demure in 2CV
Whether it’s light Cambridge blue or it’s not
By Nick, February 21, 2011 @ 9:19 pm
The first line has syllables eight
The second too, that would be great
The middle has five
Which makes your rhyme thrive
Then just leave your ending to fate
By Jacqui, February 21, 2011 @ 9:48 pm
I’ve given the ole 2CV a run
She’s blue but I’m not a nun
It’s taken some time
But we’ve written in rhyme
It’s true guys its all been good fun.
By Jacqui, February 21, 2011 @ 9:57 pm
To Sarah, Kate and Paul
We’ve had good fun one and all
But think of poor Keith
Or Jilly at leath
To pick a winner won’t be a ball!
By Jacqui, February 21, 2011 @ 10:05 pm
The winner of this comp will be
All happy and full of glee
But when it’s over tomorrow
I’ll be all full of sorrow
So PLEASE Keith let it be me
By Nick, February 21, 2011 @ 10:42 pm
One good thing about a Citroen
Cheap finance leaves nobody owing
A blue 2CV
Or a brand new C3
Just sign and forget all you’re knowing
By Katie Mac, February 22, 2011 @ 1:16 am
We’ve had white, and rosé, and red –
too much! we should now be in bed,
Our stomachs are full
now it’s time for a lull,
too much hosting will leave us for dead!
By Sarah Hague, February 22, 2011 @ 7:29 am
We were gutted when Piglet did not
Buy the house with the pole-dancing spot
She bought one quite bare
Will look good with some care
But her parties’ll not be as hot
By Katie Mac, February 22, 2011 @ 12:45 pm
Our visitors have found France a treasure
as they sight-see with us at their leisure,
They don’t want to go home
all the way ‘cross the foam,
this country has brought them such pleasure!
By Jacqui, February 22, 2011 @ 3:54 pm
Life as an expat’s not always fun,
To Tesco and Adsa we can no longer run.
But there’s good wine to drink,
And a few we do sink,
Whilst sitting together enjoying the sun.
By Jacqui, February 22, 2011 @ 3:59 pm
Living in France is really a dream,
I feel like the cat with the cream.
The language I’m learning
For Blighty I’ve no yearning
Really, it’s as good as it seems.
By Sarah, February 22, 2011 @ 4:57 pm
I’m terribly really excited
The choice of our Keith is indeed mighty
Who’ll take the prize?
(It don’t come with fries)
The suspense is quite making me flighty.
By Keith Eckstein, February 22, 2011 @ 6:21 pm
Stop sending Limericks, Keith pleaded!
A return to sanity is needed!
I didn’t think you’d have the time,
To tear your self away from your wine…
And my expectations have surely been exceeded!
By Paul, February 22, 2011 @ 6:33 pm
99
By Paul, February 22, 2011 @ 6:33 pm
100
By Katie Mac, February 22, 2011 @ 9:13 pm
It is half-term here in the schools
lots of life in the parks and the pools,
with Spring in the air
it’s a matter of where
I can really learn how to play Boules!
By Katie Mac, February 22, 2011 @ 9:15 pm
We’re on our way back from Guérande
where we stopped for a Café Gourmand,
Off to Mont St. Michel
tomorrow, all well –
then our friends sail away ‘cross the pond!
By Katie Mac, February 22, 2011 @ 9:24 pm
So this contest will now soon conclude -
on Keith’s website did we intrude,
Good, bad and absurd –
Who’ll have the last word?
For thought, there’s been plenty of food!
By Katie Mac, February 22, 2011 @ 9:32 pm
I’m logging out now for some tea –
don’t think you’ll hear much more from me,
getting on with my life
the good times and strife,
blending in with my French family..
By Jacqui, February 22, 2011 @ 11:44 pm
Oh to be an expat
Who lives in a chic Paris flat
But whatever you do
Watch out for the poo
It’s all over the place splat, splat, splat