The Fat Axl Rose meme has found a new iteration, and the world is a better place for it. New blog Hungry Time Traveler posits the theory that Axl Rose has the power to travel through time, and he also gets hungry during his voyage, so he brings a snack. No wonder he’s always late. Like Steven Seagal, Axl Rose lives outside of space and time.

The site was created by Matsby, a non-profit sector employee with several other blogs. After the break are some of our favorite photoshops from Matsby plus a couple we made, like the picture above of Axl noshing on gnocchi while Gandhi is on a hunger strike (so insensitive, that Axl). The rest of the photos are at Hungry Time Traveler, and Matsby’s commentary on each photo is also worth a read.

[Thanks to Grantley Buffalo and Buzzfeed for the assist.]

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We should probably retire our coverage of the “Sh*t ____ Say” phenomenon after the brilliant “Sh*t Wookies Say” but it’s Friday afternoon and Cajun Boy is out delivering babies and Vince already covered Jeremy Renner’s Thai Axe Fight and if I was into retiring things at their peak I wouldn’t be wearing a Big Johnson t-shirt right now.

By now you’re all fully aware of how these videos work — and if you’re not, where have you been, outdoors? — so I’m not getting into the general premise. I do think this one deserves some pub though because it’s kinda meta and YouTube commenters are some of the most vile, hateful, uncreative creatures on the planet. That can’t be brought to light enough. Even though the dudes in the video are a tad old I imagine 99% of YouTube commenters are 17 year-old males: the most vile, hateful, uncreative creatures on the planet.

They really could have just stopped at the five second mark but the rest is spot on as well…

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In the last few weeks I’ve noticed that there have been more and more cute little girl videos popping up on the web. Remember Riley, the cute little girl who just “gets it” in regards to marketing and advertising? Or what about the cute little girl who ruthlessly mocked the life of just about every modern woman in this video?

Are you, like me, sensing a trend here? Like, could 2k12 be the year of the cute little girl video? Are cute little girls the new cats?

Regardless, the video above popped up at least five times in my various feeds this morning before I actually broke down and watched it. I resisted — “NOT ANOTHER CUTE LITTLE GIRL VIDEO. NOT ANOTHER CUTE LITTLE GIRL VIDEO. NOOOOO.” — and then finally I caved and was, of course, smitten and delighted. And now here I am posting it for you, dear UPROXX reader. I mean, it’s Friday afternoon, after all. Enjoy.

(HT: Daily What)

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Last July, the decision-makers and brain trust at Century III Kia in West Mifflin, Pennsylvania gathered and asked the all-important question – “Which D-list-or-lower celebrity best represents the quality of the automobiles that we are trying to sell to the working class American?” And one of the intrepid geniuses sitting in on that meeting must have been loving “Celebrity Apprentice” at the time, because that brilliant mind suggested none other than perennial UPROXX favorite Gary Busey.

It should also surprise no one that Busey not only eagerly agreed to become that dealership’s spokesman, but he also signed on to do commercials for a Kia dealership in Houston as well. Each one of these ads is a national treasure, as you’ll view for yourself after the jump, but more importantly they beg the question – what gives, Kia? Why is Busey – the man who gave us the movie Bulletproof and the term “butthorn” – not the national spokesperson and face of your company instead of those infernal dancing hamsters?

I’m no ad exec or marketing wiz, but I know what America wants.

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To get at corporate intranets, apparently.

Ramnit is a worm discovered in 2010 that was designed to try and get at online banking sessions, but didn’t have much luck. Apparently, whoever programmed it is trying a new strategy: Stealing your Facebook login and then trying your password out on your company’s network to see what happens.

Oh, and, of course, spam links to all your friends to get the worm out there more. Because it just wouldn’t be a piece of malicious software if it wasn’t incredibly irritating in addition to being utterly evil.

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First came “Sh-t Girls Say“, which I ignored because guys trying to tell me universal truths about women — as if they’re some monolithic hive mind — usually ends with somebody getting roofied (I’m developing a tolerance to being roofied, but this is getting ridiculous). “Sh-t Girls Say” was followed by “Sh-t Gay Guys Say“, but I’ve only said like 90% of that, 95% tops. Then there was the inevitable “Sh-t Black Girls Say” and the response, “Sh-t White Girls Say To Black Girls“.

Now the definitive “Sh-t ___ Say” has arrived in the form of “Sh-t Wookiees Say”, proving once and for all that it isn’t what you say, but the swag with which you say it,

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For your lunchtime viewing pleasure: Since the late 90s — long before the proliferation of blogs and social media sent photography, particularly self-photography, through the roof — photographer Jeff Harris has been taking a photo of himself each day, usually doing something different in a unique setting in each one.

Reports Time:

“I didn’t want 365 images of me sitting on the couch each day,” says Harris. “There could have been that tendency, especially during the cold dark winter months to stay inside all the time, but this project inspired me to get out there and seek out interesting things.” This year, Harris embarks on year fourteen of what has turned out to be an epic, inspired and ever-evolving art project that documents a life well lived.

The images range from completely solitary, auto-timed self-portraits to photographs inspired by a collaborative spirit with whomever Harris encounters on a given day. Regardless of the mood, location or activity at the center of any given image in the series, they all show a marvelously open and generous approach to both diaristically recording and sharing everything from intimate moments to athletic adventures with a wider audience. In fact, Harris evokes the full range of physical experiences a body can encounter: from mundane inactivity to joyful dives to his body being open on the operating table.

The video above is the result of a decade’s worth of skill and persistence — and it’s quite beautiful. Enjoy.

(HT: Alex Ogle)

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Right before Christmas, Maske posted our favorite TV mashup Tumblrs, which everyone knows were all the rage in 2011. Now mere hours into 2012 we’ve discovered a new one — though one that only involves a single TV show: Parks and Recreation — that’s so genius, yet so obvious that discovering it left me kicking myself and overcome with that awful, “Why didn’t I think of that” feeling. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s my pleasure to introduce to you Ron Paul Swanson…

images of ron paul with quotes from ron swanson. the least likable libertarian and the most likable libertarian collide to create true internet beauty.

Seriously, this is a thing of beauty. After the jump is a wee gallery of favorites from the site’s infancy stages. How did it never dawn on me that America’s two most prominent libertarians are both named Ron? Imagine that!

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Hip Hop Humor is an OG Tumblog (est. 2009!) that I watched get reblogged like mad for forever before I finally started following and admitting to myself that I can’t get enough of lulzy rap punnery, crude photoshops, and the war on the war on graffiti. The site is pretty much Tumblr through a hip hop lens. And if the Biggie image above doesn’t do it for you then you’re the one who has to live with yourself.

“Dat ass” parodies do it for me most on groggy Friday mornings so the timing felt right to compile some of the best HHH has to offer, based primarily on shares and what makes me nod in internet approval. I didn’t include any of the stuff I don’t get because I have some Coldplay on my iPod, so you may want to start following the site yourself to get the full experience. This also seems as good a time as any to inform everyone that the Nevernude Gangsta (#4) is my spirit animal.

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Good news for all the factory workers who risk going up in flames on a regular basis to supply the Western world with affordable crack Apple products! You guys might be getting Siri very soon, so you’ll also be able to goof with your friends over how your phone can find escort services while it’s almost always incapable of performing basic functions when you actually need it to.

Reports the LA Times:

The company said Wednesday that China will be among 22 countries that soon will get the newest iPhone, one of Apple’s hottest-selling yet. The iPhone now accounts for nearly half of Apple’s annual revenue, and some analysts believe it earns the company more than 60% of its profits.

China is one of the world’s largest mobile device markets, with close to a billion cellphone users by some estimates. Apple currently partners with China Unicom, one of the larger carriers with close to 200 million cellular subscribers.

Apple said Wednesday it had no current plans to announce a partnership with China Mobile, the country’s largest carrier with more than 630 million subscribers (a user base that, somewhat amazingly, is more than twice the size of the U.S. population). But for months now Apple has been rumored to be nailing down a deal with China Mobile, and millions of the carriers’ customers are already using the iPhone by modifying the device to work on their network.

Now, seriously, can we talk about Siri for a second? I’ve got some things I need to get off of my chest.

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Grover Norquist (not pictured at right) is a power player among Republicans. He’s the head of Americans for Tax Reform, and he’s also spearheading a project to have something in every county in America (not every state: every county) named after Ronald Reagan. He’s about as conservative as it gets in the U.S. outside of people living in the woods with a lot of guns screaming about black helicopters.

So he’s all for this newfangled “shut down any website the gubmint doesn’t like” law, right?

Apparently not!

This is a major blow to this godawful law because Americans for Tax Reform is about as ardent a defender of intellectual property rights as you get. As in, they want it written into trade agreements, and applauded the terrible bill the U.S. pressured Spain into passing. And they supported SOPA at first, but now…

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Good morning! Are you, by chance, starting your day with a lovely cup of tea, or with a lovely cup of coffee perhaps? Want to feel inadequate in your preparation/service of said tea or coffee? Well here you go! Happy Friday.

(Boing Boing via Drew Magary)