John Le Carré caused a big stir with his books about British spies, precisely because his spies didn’t cause a big stir: James Bond was nowhere to be seen. Le Carré’s spies got up in the morning, drank tea, read dispatches, talked, drank some more tea, tried to find assets on the other side who’d give them information, and finished it all off with a honking glass of scotch at the end of the day.

The new movie version of <i>Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy</i> is set in the early 70s, when things were really grim: Britain was on the verge of being declared a Third World country (it was too, people, you can look it up), the Cold War was at its height and seemed like it would never end, and office politics at the headquarters for the British spies, called the Circus, seems more centered around who’s sleeping with whom and who’s got the good expense account instead of, you know, fighting the good fight for freedom and liberty and etc etc.

Several assets on the Soviet side have gotten word out that British Intelligence has a highly placed mole (as, in fact, it really did). George Smiley (Gary Oldman, practically unrecognizable) had been let go by the organization as part of a shake-up and is now brought back in, sub rosa, to find the mole, who is one of Smiley’s contemporaries: four middle-aged men who’ve carved out their piece of the pie.

Both Darin and I had heard about this movie that you have to pay careful attention, because the important stuff will go by without anyone calling it out. Perhaps I have the attention span of a gnat, but I didn’t find this to be true. What is true is that the movie doesn’t hold your hand and it’s not drawn in gigantic day-glo colors, the way most movies are these days. In fact, the main color I remember from this movie is gray. Everything is so deeply, morosely gray. The story doesn’t have tiny details you have to follow, anyhow: it’s not like the solution is some horribly shocking thing you should have been able to put together yourself. This is the story of professional men doing their jobs, and it just so happens that it’s as bureaucratic as it is deadly.

While I enjoyed the change of pace from the usual cinema fare with its loud soundtrack and moronic dialogue, I didn’t feel the rapturous experience a lot of reviewers felt watching this. (Although…getting such a change of pace is so refreshing!) The acting is very good. The best part, for me, was the portrayal of early 70s Britain. The hairstyles, the glasses, the cars, the political tensions… does anyone feel nostalgic about anything from that time?

Every writer has their own method of writing (outlines, by the seat of their pants, even pants-less) and certain environments they need (complete solitude, busy cafe).

I discovered a while ago I need music when I write. Not just any music, but orchestral music. There must be no singing (or the words must be unintelligible), which makes the background music in most cafes deeply annoying. I started with New agey electronica like Enigma or Andreas Vollenweider, and then moved on to movie scores, which tend to be driving, rhythmic, and stirring. I have written tens of thousands of words to Pirates of the Caribbean. The Killing Fields makes me tear up every time. Mishima. The Mission. Steamboy. And oh my God, Last of the Mohicans — every time I’m listening to Last of the Mohicans and I feel myself getting incredibly emotional and stirred-up by the music, it’s “Massacre/Canoes.” Every. Time.

Then I discovered video game scores. I had no idea that modern video games had such good music: Assassin’s Creed (any of them),Uncharted (any of them), Infamous. Video game scores have a tricky mission in life: they have to be good music that you might hear over and over and over again while you try to solve a certain puzzle, so that you feel energized but won’t want to stab someone the thirty-second time you’ve heard the same clip.

This past November, I made the most stunning discovery of all: trailer music.

I had no idea this category existed.

You know that music in a trailer that immediately grips you and forces you to have an emotional reaction to thirty seconds of a movie you know nothing about? The sound that makes you turn to the person next to you and say, “What is that music?”?

It’s trailer music. It’s a whole genre of short, epic music that evokes a complete reaction. I’ve seen some commenters called it “Epic Score music” or even “Epica” (which is the name of one of the groups who does it). It’s completely involving without having a particular tag to it (which is what drove me nuts about Pirates of the Caribbean after a while — I kept thinking about that movie).

Here are the Epic Score artists I’ve found so far:

• Immediate
• Two Steps From Hell
• Thomas Bergersen (who is part of Two Steps From Hell)
• Epica
• Jo Blankenburg
• ES Posthumus

If there are others in this vein, please let me know. I love this stuff. Also, any other recommendations for music in this vein (or video game scores, or even movie scores, although those have been hit or miss after a bit). I’m only sorry that I can’t buy 40 albums at once.

You’ve heard about these acts. The Internet’s gone dark today. You haven’t called your representatives. Why should you do anything? Well, because you’re not asked to do that much in general, frankly. And sometimes you just have to stand up and be counted.

Call your representatives and say, “This is BAD. Vote NO.” Christ. Just do it, would you? (It’s hard living in an area where my congressman is always against this stuff, but yours might not be. CALL.) If you have zero idea of who your reps are and where they stand, Pro Publica has done the legwork for you.

An analysis of SOPA and PIPA from the right-wing Pajamas media. (Because when lefties analyze stuff, they’re biased.)

Oh, you want balance. Here’s the notoriously left-wing Cato Institute on why SOPA is a con. (The oh-God-don’t-send-me-to-Cato version.)

SOPA/PIPA are supposed to shut down online piracy of movies and other media and save jobs? Yeah, not so much. A Hollywood professional on why SOPA/PIPA are bad.

“Fascism should more appropriately be called Corporatism because it is a merger of state and corporate power”

– Benito Mussolini

It happens for everyone at a different time and for different reasons, but I believe this does happen to everyone.

One day, you suddenly realize you are running out of time.

Another Saturday has gone by. Another birthday (your own or your kid’s) is coming around. You realize you’ve lived more than half your life, because you double your age and you realize it’s unlikely you’re going to live to see 2x. If you’re a woman, you reach the age where people — people under 30, especially — no longer see you standing there, their eyes go straight past you like you’re a ghost. You start making a list of all the things you’d like to do once in your life and you see in black and white you’re unlikely to get all of them done. If you want to get any of them done, you’d better get cracking.

That’s a great exercise, by the way: make a list of 100 things you want to do at some point in your life. “Oh, that’s easy,” you say. “I can come up with two thousand things I want to do.” I recommend doing this exercise anyhow. The first 20 come pretty easily. Then you have to start thinking about it. One by one, you begin to remember what it was you wanted to do, what secret dreams you had, what things you wanted to experience before you died.

Recently someone I know got sick. First there was one health problem, and that exposed another health problem, which exposed three more… The last time I saw this person, I realized there aren’t going to be that many more times I see them. It’s eye-opening, watching someone go through this process. What’s worse is, they keep talking about the stuff they’re going to do, and that’s all it’s ever been: talk. You can’t put stuff off to the future indefinitely, and one day you are going to run out of road.

You don’t have time.

Right now I have 30 minutes before my next appointment of the day. What can I do in 30 minutes? I ask myself. I’ve gotten into the unfortunate habit of saying, “I must have at least an hour to write!” So I have the mental mindset I can’t get anything done in only 30 minutes.

Except I am working on changing this mindset, because there are things I want to do, big and small, and I need to use what I’ve got to accomplish them. I can get a lot done in 30 minutes, even if it’s just writing today’s post. Or I could read some more of my current book. Or I can work on my list of things I want to do in my life, carve out just a little tiny bit of what I want to do. I no longer have the time to waste.

I was in the supermarket this afternoon, buying snacks for tonight’s Webelos meeting, when the woman behind me in line started talking to the cashier.

“Do you like mysteries?” she asked. “I just read a good one.”

I concentrated on getting my credit card information into the machine and checking that the machine hadn’t been fitted with a skimmer. When I finished signing my name, I looked back at the woman who was talking: she had her Kindle out and was glancing through her most recently read titles. I guess the cashier was an old friend.

“Have you read A Song of Fire and Ice?” the woman asked. “It takes place in olden times, you know, with knights and horses and spooky things. I think they made a movie out of it.”

It’s a moment like that when I remember we all live in different universes.

Holy moly, I thought, how could you not know that the book series is called A Song of Ice and Fire? That isn’t the name of any of the books at all. It doesn’t take place in “olden times,” it takes place in a fantasy kingdom that never existed. The author is George RR Martin and it wasn’t made into a movie, it was made into one of the biggest television events of last year, a series on HBO?

I haven’t read any of the books (Darin has; he gave up on book 3, as has every single person he’s talked to, so I don’t know who all has been buying Book 4, let alone Book 5, which apparently was the best-selling fiction book of all last year), but I know all of these things. I know Sean Bean starred in the HBO series, and the series kept in The Major Twist that everyone expected them to get rid of (since, you know, they had Sean Bean). I know George RR Martin has a really big beard. I know the series is partially inspired by the Wars of the Roses, but once you have actual dragons in your book, you’ve gone rather further afield than just your inspiration.

People don’t know stuff.

They don’t have to. They still enjoy the world. The world still spins.

Most people haven’t even heard of any of these books or TV series and they’re still pretty knowledgeable about stuff. My dental hygienist bored me to tears while I was in the chair the other day going on and on about the football playoffs, and yet these things she was telling me were extremely important to her view of the universe.

It’s cool when you understand enough about the world that you can explain it to someone else. It’s frustrating as hell when there are things I don’t understand and can’t seem to grok for the life of me, no matter how hard I try. Generally, if I’m interested enough in something, I like learning all about it, and then I tell other people about it.

Sometimes it stuns me when I run across someone who’s enthusiastic about something (as this woman clearly was about A Game of Thrones, which was the top book in her Kindle) and yet doesn’t know very much about it. I wonder sometimes how many times I talk about something called A Song of Fire and Ice and the person next to me rolls their eyes and goes about their business.

Both kids are doing First Lego League this year. Of course, they are on different teams (sigh) and going to different championship rounds (each round being a full-day commitment so MEGA-sigh). Our local organization is the Northern California Lego League; I’m sure you can find yours on the general FLL site.

It’s a really cool program. FLL was created to introduce kids to how fun and interesting science and technology can be through the gateway drug of Lego. Teams have an adult coordinator and sometimes a teenager helping out, but the kids have to do all the programming, all the project design, etc. There are three parts to the competition:

1. The robot game: What catches everybody’s eye with this tournament. The kids learn how to program a Lego robot to run around a game board and do various tasks, all within two minutes thirty seconds.
2. The project: The kids do research on the theme of that year’s FLL Competition and then present their findings to a panel of judges, whether through a skit or some other way of presenting it. All of the team members need to participate in this section, so it can’t just be one or two kids who enjoy talking.
3. The FLL Core Values: the driving force behind FLL is not just “science and tech are great” but “What’s this all about, anyhow?” The kids have to learn the core values and be able to discuss them intelligently with judges.

Every year there’s a real-world theme to the whole competition: this year’s is called “Food Factor” and it’s about food safety and contamination. Sophia’s team did a field trip to a sushi restaurant, to the middle school’s cafeteria, and to a local butcher’s shop to learn about food handling practices and concerns. Both kids’s teams came up with pretty cool real-world products (Simon’s team’s product is so cool I’m trying to talk the other families into doing a Kickstarter for it, but so far no takers).

Because the kids have to figure out how to program the robots and have to design the project and then present everything to judges, it’s really clear right away which kids have done the work and which had the adults doing the work for them. It does no good for adults to do the work (something I wish some parents at the kids’s schools would learn, SIGH), and one thing you learn right away is that these kids can do it. They might not do it well. They might not do it professionally. But man, some of these kids are amazing. (One kid on Sophia’s team was so into getting his robot to do its run correctly he worked in the basement of the team leader’s house for 4 hours on his own one night.) And if they’re not good at one thing (programming) they might be good at another (video editing).

This program is getting so popular several schools around us have FLL classes, with a teacher and all of last year’s Lego tools and lots of experience. These kids are well-taught and have great resources and are kicking our kids’s asses in the competitions. Both Simon and Sophia’s teams advanced in the first round, back in November, but I’m expecting both to get smoked in this coming round. (This isn’t just me; the other parents I’ve talked to feel the same way.) It’s like pickup teams facing the Yankees; of course the pickup teams have a chance.

If your kids are at all interested in science, technology, computers, robots, or Lego, and they’re between the ages of 9 and 14 (US/Canada/Mexico; 9 and 16 elsewhere, I guess), check it out. It will help you a lot if you can get people who’ve done it before involved, because for a newbie parent like me much of what was going on was baffling.

I’ve always had trouble sleeping. When I was in high school I’d lay awake listening to KSFO, when it had a Comedy Hour and wasn’t Fascist talk radio 24/7. The best sleep I ever had was when I lived next to some railroad tracks — after a week of not sleeping at all, I started sleeping like a rock. When I lived in Studio City I told Darin I couldn’t sleep, and on the weekends when he came to visit he’d hear the shouting and ruckus going on and he’d say, “I think I know why you can’t sleep.” Even after 20 years I have trouble falling asleep if Darin isn’t with me.

Being able to fall asleep isn’t even the worst part of sleep, for me. Because eventually I always pass out. No, the problem with me is that I don’t stay asleep. I often wake up two or three times a night to use the bathroom. For a while I was fully awake at 3:33 in the morning — why that time? Was it significant? Was there something noise happening in the house that woke me up at 3:33? (Seriously, I even checked our watering system to see if it was coming on then.)

I worked on the problem with needing to pee: I stopped drinking anything after dinner. No comforting cup of Good Earth tea. As little water as I could stand. I noticed I slept poorly on nights after I had chocolate ice cream, so no chocolate ice cream after 6pm (which generally means…no chocolate ice cream).

Still kept waking up.

I started taking melatonin, which was popular for a while as the sleep aid that helped reset your internal clock. Except I noticed that it gave me a hangover. I’d fall asleep right away, with almost 99% certainty, and I’d sleep at least 6 hours straight, but in the morning I’d wake up still tired, my head pounding, not feeling as though I’d been asleep at all. I went from a 5mg dose to a 1mg dose. 1mg a)did put me to sleep and b)gave me a hangover.

I stopped using it. You’re not supposed to use it for very long anyhow — just enough to set your Circadian rhythms.

When you can’t sleep you’ll try everything.

On some web page I read about or maybe just on the shelf next to the melatonin I saw this product called GABA Calm. A sublingual tablet that would help you fall asleep.

And it worked. On nights when I couldn’t fall asleep, I would use one GABA Calm and with probably 85% accuracy I would be asleep within minutes. I would stay asleep for at least 6 hours straight. When I woke up in the morning, I could remember my dreams and my head felt fine.

Of course, the Wikipedia page about GABA (the main ingredient) says that the claims that GABA enhances calmness are probably false, because there’s no evidence that GABA crosses the blood-brain barrier. Well, okay, maybe these are extraordinarily effective placebos.

Who cares? I was sleeping six hours without interruption. Trust me, that was huge.

When I was taking antidepressants (having since stopped, because of a regular exercise program — don’t try this at home, talk to your doctor first), one that he wanted to try was called gabapentin, because it’s often prescribed off-label for anxiety disorders. Apparently it gets prescribed for a whole bunch of stuff:

Gabapentin is used primarily for the treatment of seizures, neuropathic pain, and hot flashes. There are, however, concerns regarding the quality of the research on its use to treat migraines, bipolar disorders, and pain.

Well, I don’t have any menopausal symptoms yet, so I don’t know if it helps with that, personally. I never noticed gabapentin having an effect on my mood (exercise worked much more regularly for me), but WOW did it knock me out. I had a crazy amount of dreams every night, extraordinarily vivid, and I woke up feeling almost refreshed. Which was awesome!

Then taking two pills at night started leaving me a little groggy, so I moved down to one pill.

Which now leaves me groggy and feeling slightly hungover in the morning…but I do sleep 8 straight hours if I take it. If I don’t take it…chances are I won’t sleep any more than 2-3 hours straight.

I refill my prescription for gabapentin whenever I run low, but I don’t take it every night any more. If I’m still awake at 1am, I take one.

I’ve gotten hardcore on anything that might be keeping me awake: I stopped drinking anything caffeinated after 12noon (since adjusted to 3pm, which seems to be my upper boundary for effects). I exercise frequently, but not even running a marathon is a sure thing for knocking me out, so who knows. I read boring books until I feel my eyelids start to droop.

I have considered going to the Stanford sleep clinic to see if there’s something else going on.

Because I’m not living next to train tracks again, no matter how poorly I sleep.